Monday, March 06, 2017

Hello in there

I've been thinking and worrying too much about aging lately. Today as I stood on line at babies R us for an unbelievably long time as the elderly cashier slowly helped the one hoity-toity person in front of me and as I observed the line behind me grow longer and longer, I almost cried.

Ruth (she had on a name tag) had a full head of crooked synthetic hair and bright red lipstick and rouge. She was trying to be friendly to the 30 something year old impatient woman she was helping. The woman decked out with her Louie Vuitton purse and expensive looking boots and jacket, rolled her eyes at me as if to say.. can u believe how long she is taking. Ruth had a hard time scanning the woman's Iphone to use her coupon. So happy and  boisterously she asked Ms. 30 something to read the numbers to her. Ruth stopped her and said NO NO not so fast! where are u rushing to missy? (hoity-toity abruptly said.. WORK!) Ruth then requested they be read to her 4 digits at a time. It finally went through. She tried to put the large Items into bags too small and had to start again. She forgot the gift receipt and had to redo that too. At this point the woman behind me sighed Loudly and said.. really?!  My heart just broke for Ruth.
I'm embarrassed to admit this but in my younger busier days, I too would probably have either sighed or walked off the line or been an eye roller. ( It So upsets me now to know that as being a truth about my younger self but I think SO many young people are just clueless to what it's like to grow older.)

My mom is nearly 88 and thankfully doing pretty well but of course she is not the same as she once was. 
Recently there was an 'incident' at her assisted living facility and Mom was banned from her favorite pastime (bingo) for a whole week. 
I felt this was a ridiculously stupid consequence as she is paying a fortune and she is NOT a child but my sister who is the person they contact for Moms bad behaviors and health issues, didn't protest. 
I respect and trust my sisters judgement so even though I voiced my opinion to her, I let her handle it her way.
Mom had forgotten something in the bingo room and went back there with her walker to get it, when she went inside No one was there but sitting all alone on a table was the BIG bowl of candy that they give out to who ever wins each bingo game. Mom decided she wanted that candy! She wanted So much of it that she couldn't fit it all in her pockets of her sweater and pants so she stuck some down her pants! As she walked down the hall back to her room, A candy trail fell out of her pants legs as she walked giving her away!
As my sister explained this to me and was conveying how embarrassed and upset she was by this phone call from the director, I just couldn't stop laughing as I could just see this entire 'sweet' scene! 
As adorable as Ruth and my Mom are in my opinion that is also how sad I see their situations too. 
I'm feeling like it will be right around the corner for me that I will be in their orthopedic shoes.  It goes by quickly folks. I recently put a bright pink streak in my hair and my youngest son said to me.. gee mom I hate to tell you this, but this is what they call a mid life crisis.. I said Joey I  hate to break the news to you, but mid life was about 20 years ago.
If we are lucky We all WILL grow older and of course behave differently. Slower yes, limited yes, confused maybe but ALL Old people were once young and that young person is Who they still feel like they are inside. It's who they ARE!
And Like every living person or thing they So deserve to be respected and valued. They deserve patience and understanding. 

No one ever knows what another person is dealing with or has dealt with. Is Ruth working to get out of her house and meet people? Or is she struggling and needs to stand there all day and take abuse so she can eat and pay her bills? Does she enjoy wigs for fun or has she lost her own hair due to illness or chemotherapy? It's so important for us to always think.. how would I like to be treated when I'm that age... I kept thinking of Bette Midlers moving song, Hello in there and when it was my turn at Babies R us.. I smiled big and said "Hello Ruth! How are u today?!"  Her surprised look then Big smile and bigger "Howdy young lady" just made my heart melt. 
So if you're walking down the street sometime
and you should spot some hollow ancient eyes,
don't you pass them by and stare
as if you didn't care.
Say, "Hello in there. Hello."






Sunday, February 12, 2017

THE BIG SALAD CAPER

 My husband and I wanted to take his mom for a nice lunch before an appointment we had to take her to.
We decided on just going to her local diner because my husband is on a special diet and we  thought they would have the plain salad he needed.
After ordering and stressing to the waiter that he needed his dressing on the side the waiter replied "all our salads come with the dressing on the side." The salad came of course soaked in dressing, my husband nicely asked for it to please be replaced with a salad without dressing.
My mother-in-law and I finished our lunch, visited the ladies room and had coffee before my husband's salad came back soaking wet with the faint taste of dressing as it had been obviously rinsed.
At this point we were going to be late for mom's appointment so my husband nicely called over  the manager and explained what happened. He replied, "of course its rinsed, that's what we do." My husband said well no thank you I am not going to eat this and of course I am not paying for it, to which the manager said in a nasty tone "why don't you just eat the chicken that's on top of it"! 
Befuddled, My  husband looked at him and like he was talking to someone from another planet he said "I don't want the chicken.I don't want the salad". The manager then THREW a takeout box at the table near my husband and said "well then take it home because you ARE paying for it." My husband calmly said "you may as well call the police because I don't pay for garbage put on on a plate and that is exactly what this soaked salad is. "
We paid the bill SANS the salad, tipped the waiter generously as that's what we do, it wasn't his fault after all and we left and got into the car.
The obnoxious manager came running out in the down pouring rain to write down our license plate number!!
(It was hysterically funny when mom saw him and blurted out from the backseat.."OH PLEASE! RUN THAT LITTLE BASTARD OVER!!!"  Glad she wasn't driving!!)
We wished we had the time to wait for the police which  bizarre as it sounds they actually must have called judged by how the employees were expectantly gawking out the dirty window before we left.

Never have we experienced such a horrible, rude dining experience. In hindsight though,what  I think we should have done was 
charged the entire bill and then disputed with the credit card company because leaving cash on the table makes it their word against ours should we be arrested for petty larceny!!

I would like to think that what my husband expressed to me is true, that the police have WAY more important things to handle and would have been very perturbed to be bothered by such nonsense but since we were driving MY CAR and I am NOT as confident as him  about how police policies or police thoughts or actions work, Or as confident about how I'd fare in jail,
I've been  looking over my shoulder  for weeks now. 


Outraged by our unfair treatment, many friends have advised me to give them a bad Yelp review. Yeah? really? tattling? hmm, That just goes against the ways of my  (italian) people but more importantly  I'm sure that will only reveal my whereabouts.
I prefer to remain ... lucy on the lam.

Sunday, August 02, 2015

happy August

"August is like the sunday of summer"...

what does that quote mean? what does it mean to you? I'm always looking for positive relatable quotes to put in my weekly email to my Zumba students. So on August 1st I sent out that quote. To me.. Sunday is my favorite day of the week. It's MY day. It's me first teaching my Zumba class which I love to do, then relaxing or I'm happily entertaining guests or going out to dinner with friends.  I look forward to Sunday. I also love August. My birthday month, beautiful beach weather.  So to me, I saw it as "August is as wonderful as sunday."
I think I am the only one who saw that.  When I read it to my husband he said.. oh thats sad but true. He said he saw it as Sunday is the last day of the week. the end. August always seems like the official end of summer. hmmm.. That's depressing.
well sure enough, several of my zumba students commented about it and they saw it exactly as he did.
Who wrote this damn quote anyway?  I found it in images when I googled Quotes about August.  Why am I up this late, still puzzled by this one stupid phrase.
"August is like....the best part of Summer!"~ lucy petals
goodnight. :)

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Oh my papa

Continuing from  my last post... this is another homework assignment from my recent writing class. We were asked to write about a place we have sat.  I took an older blog post I had written years ago and elaborated a bit.  It was wonderful  having the critique of my classmates and teacher but Maybe I'm stubborn, except for changing the title I decided to leave my story the way I had written it. I will explain at end... 
                                        Oh my papa
My dad passed away when I was 3 years old. The memories of him are ingrained in me because of the stories I've heard about him. I couldn’t possibly have actual memories of him considering I was so very young. Dad had a heart condition that was brought on from having Rheumatic Fever as a child. He was frail and restricted from strenuous activities. 
One of my favorite stories that I was told often from many family members was how he always carried me around on his shoulders. I had heard it so often that I began to see the image in front of me vividly. No matter where we went, it was me on top of pop, my curly unruly brown ringlets bouncing into my meatball-sized eyes, with that funny lipless smile I had had (that is before the self-conscious teenage me practiced like crazy to change it.)  I see my Dads Kramer-like wild curly hair acting as a nice nest for my tiny baby hands. I see his secure hands locked protectively around my gauzy dress and rounded back. I see his gentle smiling eyes and matching lipless smile looking up at me. (Those same soft expressive hazel eyes it chills and thrills me to see on my eldest son.) I also see my frazzled, boisterous mother who, I was told, worried that I was too heavy for her sick husband to carry, she would constantly yell at him “put her Down!!” As a parent now myself, I sure understand why he didn't listen to her. If you know you aren't going to be with your kids for too much longer, I’d think you take your chances and hang on tight while you can. I imagine him just laughing and saying to her “Oh stop yelling, I’m fine! Look how happy she is”
The weird thing about losing a parent at such a young age is that it seems the grieving process may be opposite of the same loss as an adult. As an adult the pain is present for a very long time but it fades the longer time has passed. All the years of happy memories seem to comfort my friends who’ve experienced this sadness. The opposite is what I've been experiencing. Of course at 3 years old I had no clue of what was happening to my family, to my world. As I grew, there were times I felt curious and times I felt ashamed about not having a dad. During my teen years, I thought often of him and wanted to hear all the stories and "get to know" him. As a young woman planning my wedding I wept for him, for all he had missed. Wept Knowing that he wouldn't walk me down the aisle. He wouldn't know the woman I had become or the wonderful man I was planning on spending my life with. Later I grieved for him not knowing his three amazing grandsons. Heart-broken that they lost out too.
 Now, 52 years after Dad has passed, I still get choked up as I am right now trying to write this. It may happen while taking a walk or just hearing a touching song. Just thinking of my Dad always leads me to those awful ‘if only’s “ If only he hadn’t been sick, if only he hadn’t left his 3 forgotten children. If only.
Last night I awoke from a heavenly dream and for a sleepy second or two I thought I actually did truly remember it all, just as I have imagined it for all of these years. Little me, in my first happy place, sitting weightless and carefree, smiling brightly while being carried off into an idyllic childhood. Cradled on my beloved Dads loving shoulders.
My story was Originally title Oh Pabbi Minn. It's the Icelandic version of Oh my papa by bjork. It brings me to tears every time I hear her beautiful voice sing it. My class felt I should have talked about the title somewhere in the story. I felt it took away from my story. So I decided instead to use the english title here. I'm not going to listen to you either!! but am interested to know...what do you think? 




Friday, May 22, 2015

writing class


 J  judicious persistent Jaunt
O  optimistic endless quest
U  unraveling self-awareness acceptance forgiveness
R  reflective responsible resolved
N  nurturing self-preservation passion potential purpose
E  energized engaged enlightened

Y  you. Your lifelong voyage to self-discovery

I haven't had much time to write these days, so I was excited when I saw my library had a writing class for 3 wed. eves in April.
I signed right up! I'm Just sharing one of my homework assignments.
We were to write an acrostic poem for journey. I've been really trying to work on many of the attributes I wrote about. From what I gather from so many of the amazing women I see in my salon, there are SO many of us always working on this. How difficult is it to forgive yourself?  What about self-preservation? It's not until we grow older and wiser that we see how important it is to sometimes have to distance ourselves from friends even relatives to preserve our own sanity, our own pride. 
I hear so many heart wrenching stories of unforgiving stubborn behavior in many relationships. parents not speaking to their own children. Siblings squabbling over nonsense. How many times should we subject ourselves to heart ache and unjustified criticism and abuse? Much of it really is downright abusive. I was so happy when recently one of my sweet sensitive friends valued herself enough to say, "That's enough".  She walked away from a relationship that had caused her nothing but heart ache. She is a hero to me. I am still having such a hard time with self preservation. hmm..
Forgiveness too, but my journey is just that.. and if it truly Is a life long journey, I sure hope I have much more time to get to.. Enlightenment. :)


Tuesday, January 27, 2015

forever friend


My beautiful Cockapoo Molly has gone to rest
She was always so loving, so sweet
 Even times when she was being a pest
My heart is so broken, so hollow
She’s gone way too soon
I can feel her presence in every empty room

As I puzzle over why a dogs life’s extremely brief
A lesson discovered helps me cope with my aching grief
They’re here to teach us that our lives are preciously brief as well

So Instead of worrying about all the small stuff
We need to learn how to howl, bark or yelp
Always have fun! Run! Jump! Sleep well! Play!
Live life to its fullest each and every treasured day
Take nothing for granted, Love your fellow man
And always go outside whenever you possibly can!

Cherish each gesture of love and affection
Love unconditionally, forgive, pay attention
Greet everyone like they've been gone far too long
Enjoy your meals, treats and howling a good song

Our pets lives may be brief but they’re happy for most of those years
While we spend our extra days overly stressed or in tears
If we take cues from our dogs and the messages they send

Our lives can be happier like those of our cherished tail-wagging friends.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

I am woman hear me roar? I've got to be me? Why you gotta be so rude?

I'm not sure if there was an exact date that it happened to me but it was sometime after this last birthday. Fifty-five, FINALLY it happened.
  Like those who quit smoking and proudly know that exact moment they took control, I kind of wish I had an exact date to celebrate each year, to make telling my little story right here or to my friends a little more official. A little more like the Big deal I feel it is. I know and admire so many who've had it happen to them at a MUCH younger age and then there are those I've met, bless their hearts, who seem to just be born with it.

I'm talking about confidence. Specifically The Confidence it takes to Refuse to take anyones bullshit anymore. I'm Done. that's all I keep saying in 2015.  I'm done.  I don't know how else to explain the feeling.  I am just not letting ANyone ruin my happy, positive heart.  I don't want negativity to crowd a heart that truly is looking for the good, looking for a peaceful groove. Looking to just exist in a happy environment, looking to continue to be kind to others and breathe comfortably in my skin. Skin that I am so grateful to be in. I'm grateful to be healthy, to be here, to give love and be loved. As much as kindness is my motto and I've really tried to spread that kindness even in the face of rudeness. I'm done being foolishly kind. If you are rude to me I will sure let you  know how rude you are or how you're making me feel. Because, it's bullshit to treat people like they're beneath you. It's bullshit to spread your toxicity and your own miserableness. It's bullshit not to try to be kind to others. "when given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.~ Dr Wayne W. Dyer” 
Being a hairstylist, there's a lot of rudeness that I've just accepted and usually try to just brush off. (eh hem).
  Like a client who could for example ask.. "lu, can you razor my bangs again", but instead rudely states ... "today You're going to razor my bangs".
That client? well, they better be careful now. First off, even with the old me... hello! I've got a very sharp razor near your rude face!
(and I'm sicilian!! :)

 Happiness is contagious. Kindness is contagious. Negativity is too. I don't want to be around anyone who is going to continually bring me down and drain my energy. Energy vampires. Of course we all have our bad days and days where we rant in our blogs :)  or to our friends and family and I truly DO want to hear when people I love are having troubles or a bad day. But I'm talking about those  people who spread negativity every freaking time they're with you. I'm done. Life is definitely too short to waste on them. I may lose a couple of relationships. I am definitely going to lose a few clients.  No matter the consequence for speaking my mind and expressing my feelings.  Love me/hate me, it's your choice.
This is an empowering feeling. I wish it would have happened to me sooner. But I'm just happy it happened and I'm feeling good about it. that's all I wanted to share today.
I'm done.