Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Well... If you've been reading me from the beginning, you will know about my issues with my legal name .
It seems I keep getting myself in trouble by calling myself different names in different settings.
I never thought this at all whacky, but my kids sure do. I sent my boys to pick up the baked clams from our favorite Italian place on Christmas eve..Every time I order out from this restaurant and they ask for a name.. I say the form of my name that is my latest preference - Lucy. (and every time.. the boy on the phone begins singing lucy in the sky with diamonds! :)
So, when i placed the order for the clams and they asked, i automatically said.. Lucy. (i just love that song and being sung to! ) I gave NO last name. No phone number. Rushing around on Christmas Eve.. I remembered to give my kids the money before they left, but I forgot to inform them that the order is under the name LUcY.
They get there and give my first name, the name they know me as, the name most people call me.. Luanne. The waiter says.. "we have NO orders under that name".. so then my boys give our LAST name.."we have No orders under that name" Then they gave my husbands first name.. No Luck! Our phone number?? NO luck...The place was a zoo so the clerks started helping other customers, leaving my kids ambushed and wondering "what the heck is going on" (and may I mention, leaving my clams to become hideously dried out!) Then one counter person.. called out "LUCY"! "is there anyone waiting for a full tray of baked clams named LUCY?" My brilliant kids (who I would have thought more brilliant if they would have just called me as soon as they were puzzled ) realized.. OH Lucy!?! THIS must be our nut job mom!!
Of course when they came home... they not only had to go on and on and on about HOW frustrating this was and HOW I should have remembered to tell them my name, they also had to meddle in my business by giving me their opinion that I am so crazy with this Lucy stuff and that I should just stick to Luanne and stop confusing everyone! Glad they never read my blog.. 'cause I am finally admitting.... since their trip for the clams... I HAVE begun to think I am wacky after I got into trouble yet AGAIN at Zumba class with my name game. My friend gave me a zumba gift card under the name Luanne. However, I usually sign in as Lucy at Zumba when I pay, but because the g.c. says luanne, I signed in as Luanne. Later, a new teacher introduced herself to me and asked my name. I said Lucy. Later she asked if I had forgotten to pay her, because she had NO lucy's on her list! I am starting to feel like a criminal and may begin to add aka to all my signatures.
Thanks for reading!
and happy new year to all my 3 ww buddies,
Lucy Aka Luanne
Sunday, December 27, 2009
This year we began with cheeses and crackers. A cold antipasto consisting of Dried sweet sausage, roasted peppers, olives and fresh mozzarella. A shrimp cocktail platter.We went on to enjoy... My eldest son's homemade Hummus (made from soaked raw chick peas NOT a can!) His delicious broccoli frittata, my Artichoke pies, Spinach quiche, zucchini casserole, Baked Clams Arreganata and Salad Pizza! Okay.. those were just the apps! Our dinner consisted of Fried Shrimp and Fried Calamari, Salad, Broccoli Rabe, Linguini with red sauce and for the piece de resistance...
my eldest sons AMAZING, DELICIOUS eggplant Parmesan !
I know... I am so full just writing all this down! delicious? or disgusting? haha I can't believe how much food I put out! I won't even begin to tell you what was on the table for dessert! But you know what? this is NOT what i really wanted to talk about with this Delicious post! I wanted to talk about my incredible son Frank.
I can't begin to tell you HOW much this helpful, considerate young man moves me. As I was preparing all my food and getting my home organized on Christmas Eve day, He was in his apartment.. making Two trays of eggplant, the yummy red sauce and the hummus and frittata!
Frank is just a natural at cooking. No matter what he whips up, it is heavenly! He considered going to culinary school but changed his mind. His soups are incredible and his italian and indian dishes are better than any I have ever tasted. (being his heart is greater than his cooking talent.. better that he's decided to become a special education teacher.)
His help meant the world to me.. I couldn't have done the eggplant on my own this year. Work was crazy, and between the shopping for food and gifts and the wrapping, cleaning, card writing, decorating my home and then only having that ONE day to prepare for the eve.... I mean.. I just am one old woman! My husband, who is also a gigantic help, had to work Christmas eve day. So, I just can't thank Frank enough! I toasted him with tears in my eyes on Christmas Eve, letting our family know, just how wonderful he is and how grateful I am for this amazing soul. Christmas always gets me emotional, or should I say..more emotional than I already am! I found myself welling up over EVERY happy moment, loving card and friends wishes and love. It also didn't help my emotions by experiencing a very emotional beginning to this week.
Last sunday, I heard the news that a long time lovely client of mine passed away at the young age of 70 after a battle with cancer. The very next day... another client of mine went through a tragedy when her 72 year old husband died of a massive heart attack while shoveling their driveway. (we had a blizzard last week). My heart broke for this poor woman! They had a very close relationship and were married for 50 years. I went to her home to do her hair before his wake and just couldn't stop crying with her. When I saw her that night at his wake, she had been sedated and was calmer.. yet the palpable sadness was intense and still hasn't left me. I can't imagine going through what she must be feeling. My husband is my life and my heart and I can't imagine losing someone I love, so suddenly and tragically. If that wasn't enough sadness for my week.. I also read about a home invasion near by, where the home owner was shot to death by the intruders while trying to stop them... When I read the homeowners name.. my heart stopped. He was my high school boy friend! I hadn't seen him in 30 years, but the news made such an impact on me. You stop and think about people that used to be in your life, and you hope they are out there somewhere living a good life. To think that poor Steve's life ended in such a tragic way, leaving his wife and children behind with this unimaginable grief. Too Sad. Too emotional.
Well, i am off the topic of delicious aren't I? Considering I am not blogging as frequently, this has turned into an epic post and I probably have lost some readers a few paragraphs ago!
Getting back to delicious... Well... The over indulging did NOT stop on the Eve! Many years ago we began the wacky tradition on Christmas day of FRY FEST! It all began when we gave up our frying pan for a Fry daddy to fry all Christmas eve's fried shrimp! The fryer makes an awful 'mcdonald' like stench.. so we set it up outdoors! We look like real hillbillies! Mr. Petals puts a tarp on half of our front porch to protect him from the elements while he stands out there to fry! Christmas day, we put AnYTHING the kids want that will choke a horse or clog an artery into that fryer! MORE shrimp, steak fries, onion rings, sweet potatoes, zucchini, mozz. sticks, chicken nuggets, mini eggrolls... It's really gross! but my kids invite ALL their friends (who were so excited about FRY FEST '09) and we just keep the fryer going as they come and go! Not to mention utilizing THE ASTONISHING amount of leftovers from the eve! So that's our delicious SLASH disgusting holiday!
Hope you had a beautiful, delicious Christmas too! Wishing all my blogging friends a very happy, healthy, auspicious, loving New year!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Like I needed one more job?! It's a long story.. but it is really adding some excitement to my little salon! It seems whatever I am wearing for the day is the item the ladies desire! they are so cute!
Speaking of my ladies... This year so many of them are really moving me with their love. I think it is a sign of our times, but so many clients/friends and old friends who I don't see as often as we would like, have been so much more affectionate this year. I am getting "i love you's" left and right and it feels so wonderful hearing people expressing themselves so lovingly.
One very dear friend/client shocked me with a gift certificate for 10 zumba lessons! It was so generous and so thoughtful. Another gave me a gift certificate to my favorite nail salon.
Did you ever see that Honeymooners episode where Ralph buys Alice that little box made of sticks but she gets the same one from a friend?? I was reminded of that with the above mentioned gifts. After I received the zumba lessons, my husband looked so disappointed. When I questioned him, He confessed.. That was his gift idea for me! Then came the other G.C. and the same shocked look on his face... That was his Second choice! He sat me down and told me what a dilemma he was having, because he could not think of One other thing that I would want or need. To tell this story correctly.. I must first tell you that I've been telling him HOW BADLY I want christmas lights on our home. (he Hates doing this job and curses every year!) A couple of weeks ago we had a beautiful sunny day.. so he set out to put up the lights, after hours of frustration over a new outlet not working/ tangled lights/ burnt out bulbs/ well.. over EVERYTHING! He came in cursing and saying NO LIghts this year! I was so disappointed, but left him alone a couple of days, before I said .. Can't you just do a few bushes?? He said ... I just can't! I am so sorry! Sooo..... Back to Mr. Petals dilemma.... Yep! I looked him in his beautiful hazel almond shaped eyes and very sensitively began by saying.... "honey.. I don't need anything under the tree to unwrap. I don't want a gift in a box with a bow with a price tag... I JUST REALLY WANT THE F***ING LIGHTS PUT UP!!
Well.. here it is! All my shrubs have lights! To make my Christmas gift even more beautiful, today, mother nature dropped two feet of snow on them!
If I don't get back to the blog again before hand... wishing every one a very happy, loving, beautifully LIT Christmas!
head or tails.. show and tell!
Saturday, December 05, 2009
I also think many things are so weird I don't know where to begin. Like yesterday... A client had a 10 am appointment for a haircut.. (which is the same time she makes it EVERY month) She gets to my house at 10:15 and is just sitting in her car on the phone! Finally she makes her way in about 10:25 and I say.. Bernice your appointment was at 10 am. She laughs (a bit hysterically I must say) and says.. "You know what? I couldn't remember!! I thought it was 10 or 10:30?"
She never apologizes and when I suggested that she could always call me if she forgets.. She says..
"yeah I was going to call but I figured you are always so busy, why bother you" Weird?? hello!
So instead of bothering me with a call she just decides to screw up my schedule and Now I will be behind for the rest of my clients?? WEIRD! Speaking of Weird People...
I had to return a pair of shoes the other day... Trying to patiently wait my turn in the ridiculously busy store.. I started observing others. The horrors I saw!! Women acting like princesses while the slave shoe men brought them their choices. Salesmen trying to be professional while customers chatted on the phone and held their boxes out impatiently for the 'slave' to take them away.. What is happening to our society?? Weird?? No not really, disgusting. that's probably a better word for this weird example.
So how am I weird? Well, I am a bit compulsive about germs. It began for me WAY before all this hand sanitizing hysteria over the H1N1 virus. I drummed hand washing into my kids from EARLY on so they have always been in the habit of walking in the house and right to the sink to wash their hands. I promised my pal pepper i would reveal my weird but effective public restroom hand washing technique that allows me NOT to touch AnYthing!! So this is for Pep...
(and any other weirdo's who want to be OCD like me)
step one.. Use your elbow to dispense many paper towels. (if its not a push down lever and you need to turn the dial.. u can just use your hands since you will be washing them. ( i like the lever types)
step two...stick one large clump of paper towels under your arm pit
use another clump of the paper towels to turn on the water faucet
step three... lift towels again (without touching the bottom that touched the faucet) and
smash down on soap dispenser.
step four- apply soap,rub into hands and fingers (DOn't forget thumbs!)for 20 seconds.
step five.. rinse thoroughly(if it's one of those auto turn offs.. USE the towels to put it on again)
step six.. Use the armpit paper towels to thoroughly dry your hands AND use them to grab the sink towels and toss them AND to grab the door handle to the bathroom. (If you don't u may as well have NOT washed your hands at all.)
step seven.. (Yes there's more).. If there is No garbage pail near the door... sometimes you can hold it open with your hip and get the paper towel in the trash.. If not take it with you and leave it in the nearest garbage pail, or Put it in the plastic bag in your purse. (you DO have one don't you??!!)
BONUS WEIRDO TIPS.. tip 1 do all of the above with your purse on your shoulder Or hang it around your neck.. DON'T place it on the sink or on AnY thing in a public bathroom!! Also, don't lean your body on the sinks!
tip 2... Roll up your jeans before entering into the stall! this way they won't touch the floor when you pull down your pants! NEVER SIT! Always Hover and squat back (and please aim well) which is sometimes difficult if you have a purse around your neck and your coat hoisted up pushing your scarf up around your face. ( I hate when the hooks on the backs of the doors are missing) If you pee on the seat... You take enough toilet paper to totally cushion you from touching the bowl and wipe your mess up! ALWAYS FLUSH WITH YOUR FOOT!!
tip 3.. remember to unroll your jeans when you're all done going and before your wash up.. or Trust me! People look at you weirdly in the public bathroom (sometimes they look at me weirdly even when i Do remember to roll my pants legs down)
finally tip 4 If there are No paper towels in the bathroom, DO NOT bother using the sink with your bare hands.. instead resort to hand sanitizer which you should keep in your purse along with the baggie.
So there you have it.. I think I shouldn't reveal any more weird facts in one post. I didn't know where to begin but Now I know when I should end... Happy Hand Washing! Hope I've helped to keep you well all winter!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
He said... "you really have to stop saying 'I'm sorry" so often. You've apologized at least 3 times. It makes it look like you have no self worth". I was so taken back. I guess a woman with MORE self worth would have replied.. 'well considering we just met I think it's very forward/presumptuous/nervy/impolite/ of you to offer such advice. Actually I don't really know what a 'normal' woman would respond. What would YOU have said?? Please tell me, because even though I KNOW I am VERY worthy and I totally respect myself I don't think I responded in a self worthy way!! And I often show an insecure side. Would you like to know what I said? I said.... "you know what? My husband has been telling me for many years to stop apologizing" (although my husband NEVER said I don't appear to have self worth) So Mr. Bold said to me.. "well he must love you very much." To which I confidently responded... "he adores me!"
After this encounter, I vividly remembered the first Time Mr. Petals did voice this.
I was pregnant for our first son and i thought labor had begun. The dr. said to come straight to the hospital to get checked because that's where he already was. It was a sunday and it ended up a false alarm. I apparently apologized more than a couple of times for bothering him unnecessarily. When he left the room, my husband yelled, 'WHY are you apologizing? He is your Doctor! This is what we've paid him for! Stop saying Im sorry!!!"
A few days ago, a dear friend pointed out to me that it's not so much that I'm insecure as I am very compassionate and kind and use "I'm sorry" to be tender. I also sometimes use it instead of an 'excuse me' as I did one of the times in front of Mr. bold, when I thought I got in some ones way.
I don't know why I am having a difficult time getting this out of my head. Did mr. bold mean to play mind games with me? Or Did he ever think twice about his insolent remark? Did he truly think he was in a position to be helpful? I really don't know. Maybe it wasn't a game at all and there is a reason for this as I think there is a reason for everything that happens. It HAS made me notice that I apologized to all of you in my last post, and today at work it made me stop myself a few times from saying 'Im sorry" to a few clients. Like, While brushing some ones face with the cape I was putting on them, I instead chose... 'OOOPS!". but is ooops better?? I think
sorry makes more sense. Maybe I think too much about too much?! Who knows! Maybe you know? I won't apologize for ThIS post as I did the last but can I say Thanks? Does that sound insecure too? Thanks for listening! Hope u leave your opinion, because unlike mr. bold.. this time I am asking for advice! :))
visit sunday scribblings for more games
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Taking time to massage fragrant creams into my skin.. extra massaging for legs, feet, arms, neck.
During this pampering he usually walks into our bedroom and with one sensuous look I read the piercing tenderness and love he feels so deeply for me. Somehow my unruly hair then strikes me as wild and beautiful. My crows feet are ignored as I slowly apply my eye makeup to eyes refreshed. Exhilarated to the way he can make me quiver and truly savor the sensuality and beauty of being a woman.
(sorry..this is an older post that seemed appropriate for sunday scribblings prompt-beauty)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Two weeks ago I went for my yearly torture session at the mammography center. Some of my friends have told me that they don't find this test so torturous. Me? I'd rather go through child birth. I find it SO painful that it brings me to tears. You would think my expression of fear and pain would lead the tech. to be more sensitive and compassionate?? NOT so! They become abrupt and impatient. This time she said to me.. Listen.. we can be done in 5 minutes or I will continue this for 10 hours if that's what it takes! (i wanted to yell...bitch!!) Somehow though, when they have your boob squished in a machine while they are being so rude, it's kind of terrifying to stand up for yourself and tell them off. I try to be very cooperative, hoping to stir up some warmth.
Anyway, After a scare last year which led to FURTER torture and a biopsy but thankfully a good outcome, I became so upset again this year, when they called two days after the squash-fest to tell me I needed further testing (smashing) due to the finding of 'asymmetric density'. For two weeks, I've imagined the worst scenarios (nearly had a car accident while doing so) googled asymmetric density, lost sleep, confided in my best girlfriends, and basically worried myself sick. Yesterday, I was tortured in that obscene machine 5 more times, the last 40 pounds of pressure hurting and pissing me off SO much that I left there swearing Out loud to my husband that I am done with being loyal to preventive health! "NeVER again!!!""
Thankfully I found out once again... I am okay... nothing unusual was seen on the films.
So, How timely was it for me to see the announcement in the news yesterday morning that government scientist are now recommending NOT beginning routine mammograms until you're in your 50's, unless you are in a high risk category. One of the reasons being TOO many false positives. For the past 10 years, I have had at least 3 false positives which led to too much stress and unnecessary radiation and procedures and TOO much SQUiShing! Seeing this new recommendation should then make sense to me, right? Yet, it doesn't. Upon hearing this, I immediately thought of three women who I love who thankfully are alive today, due to a mammography finding their breast cancer while they were in their 40's. I have to believe that these last 10 years of torture couldn't have been needless. Like the pain in child birth, you must get a natural amnesia to mammogram pain, because already today, I feel like if smashing our boobs in a torture chamber once a year can help save just one precious woman, someone's loving Mom, a cherished daughter, a sweet sister or a special friend, then We should continue to listen to the american cancer societies recommendation and continue with these early screenings and of course with self examination. I can't believe this new study is telling us that this is a waste of time too. I, myself discovered a tumor, thankfully benign, in my 30's. I always tell my ladies (my hair clients).... if you don't want to self examine... let your partner or spouse do the exams for you. Not only are you taking preventive measures for your health, but also healthy measures for your relationship!
What also has me worried about this new recommendation, is I am SURE it won't be long before those bastard health insurance companies consider this a very convenient loop hole as to why they shouldn't cover screenings, even if a patients doctor believes in recommending it.
And what I am wishing for... Is a more humane alternative to the Mammogram. My friend was telling me about a painless test called a Thermogram.
Although after researching this, it seems it is best not alone, but in conjunction with the wicked mammo.
To surmise.. I am so grateful that my test findings were good. Breast cancer is so prevalent, especially here on Long Island, that if any change is needed, it's that we need to be More conscientious in finding a cure and doing whatever we can to prevent the devastation of being diagnosed and dealing with breast cancer.
visit 3 word wednesday
loyal accident obscene
Friday, November 13, 2009
So anyway.. the whole point of my scribblings, which I've been distracted from... This hospital is 20 minutes from our home. I drove him there and drove 20 minutes back home to do one clients haircut. NOW... in a few minutes I will have to drive another back and forth totaling.. EIGHTY MINUTES .. to have my son do his 2 hour good deed in our community. Hello?? The stupidity of this should have been apparent,no? NO! It wasn't! I needed the advise of my genius friend this morning, who's wisdom shone down on me, like a crazed mothers personal oracle, as she said.. "ARE U CRAZZY??" (wow! I found a way to use the word oracle!)
"Take this time to relax.. find a local book store or coffee shop and just sit with a good book for the two hours." We women really do need each other, don't we?? Especially when stress gets in the way of good old common sense. So I am happily rescheduling my upcoming November and December friday night
clients and I am taking this opportunity that I was going to allow to add additional work and stress in my life... and turning into a night to look forward to. Lucy time.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
for more interviews, visit..Sunday Scribblings
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Well it's halloween night. Not much happening. We celebrated last week by going to a party at the dance studio where I take my zumba classes. It was a fun night, that started with a west coast swing lesson and led into dancing all night, buffet and unlimited drinks. All for the amazing cost of 36.oo per couple! Our Friends that came with us were as surprised as we were when everyone on the floor was AMAZING at dancing! It then of course dawned on me... WHO were the guests? Dance instructors and their dancey friends and dance students!! At one point they were all doing some beautiful waltz the same exact way, going the same way around the beautiful dance floor... while the 4 of us clowns (well.. actually 2 pirates and 2 cowboys) were free styling and bumping into them all! After only one cosmo, we didn't care that we were the only foursome that they thought had 8 left feet. We had fun and many laughs and know WE CAN Dance!!
this week was a good one, there's lot's of adventures going on yet it left me once again.. Thinking of my blog.. feeling obligated to write something on it... choosing instead to play my 29 games of scrabble that I have going on on Facebook. Facebook is probably the reason for less blogging. It is quick and a great way to touch base with many with one wall. But.. my blog feels like an old friend. A friend who I will always love but I have less and less to say to her.
So without much thought... I am going to ramble about my week and just fill my old friend in..
This past week, Mr. Petals and I celebrated our 29th anniversary! We had a date day that involved shopping for a dressy dress for me for an upcoming christmas party, A new sports coat for him and Ordering a new railing for our back steps. That evening we enjoyed a lovely romantic italian dinner at Marios.
One day, my son found a weird protrusion on poor Mr. cosmo that ended up being a tick! In all my years of having pets, I've never had a flea or tick on any of them! It looked like a rotten kernel of corn! My smart son insisted that it was some sort of parasite. We ran Cosmo to the vet who confirmed it was an engorged tick. So gross and so worrisome! But he is fine and since it wasn't a deer tick, he won't need to be tested for Lyme. It was so nice that our vet didn't charge us to tweeze it off of him. Cos was pretty stressed, but a few dog treats later.. just fine.
Another on going event of many past weeks is this college application stuff! WHAT an overwhelming, mind boggling process! I feel like WE are so far behind! I use the word WE so much ( We applied here and WE applied there) that my oldest son keeps asking WHerE I am going to be attending college next year!? He is right! I am doing way too much of the stressing over this! I hear my clients tell me that they NeVEr got involved... their kid did Everything!!
you know what?? I am going to add my name to one of these app's.. and You never know.. If I get accepted maybe I will be the one that sets sail next year and my youngest can do all my jobs at home!
Well, once again.. I thought I couldn't blog and I end up writing more than I think anyone will even read. Hope to be back soon
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Tonight I spoke to my 80 year old Mom who lives on her own down in Florida.
Mom volunteers at the hospital a few days a week and volunteers as a bingo caller in between.
She has been calling bingo for years and gets much praise for her fun, outgoing personality.
Last week an 87 year old man got a bingo but hesitated a little too long to shout it out and My mom had already called the next number to which 3 additional people shouted BINGo! The 87 year old mans wife began repeatedly calling my mom a BITCH! Screaming that she went too quickly and that her husband deserved the pot all to himself! ISN'T THERE SOMETHING CRAZY AND SO SO WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?? I am telling you, something bizarre, scary and so sad is happening in the world. We seem to be desensitized to the feelings of others. Decency and morals a thing of the past. My poor mom was so upset and didn't know what to say or do.
I feel so bad to know she was spoken to like that. Mom called The director of the senior center, who told her that she did do the right thing.. Once the next ball was in the slot she had to Call it and honor the multiple winners. Just what an 80 year old donating her time needs, right? insults and aggravation.
On the way home from Bingo, mom stopped off for gas. She waited behind a station wagon while he filled up. After he was done.. He continued to sit in his car and chat with the attendant who was apparently his friend. They both acted totally oblivious to the fact that someone else was waiting. After waiting for a good 5 minutes patiently in her car, my mom leaned her head out the window and said.. "excuse me, would you mind getting going now?" The attendant went inside the gas station and the man in the station wagon deliberately just stayed in his car a few minutes longer. She knew it was just to bother her a little bit more!! HE was inconsiderate from the start and because She asked him to move, he decided to torture her even more?? Hello??? Is it just me?? Does this make any sense? Or are you infuriated too? He should have apologized and quickly moved over or out!! Finally my 80 year old (extremely brazen) little mama... Got OUT of her car and started walking towards him. He finally drove off! I got so upset that she did that! I warned her that with the looneys these days, you can NeVER assume he wouldn't have hurt her.
Hasn't this kind of rudeness and maliciousness happened to you? Do u feel it's happening more often too? What do you feel is the best way to handle hateful, ignorant strangers? I always say ignore these types but how can you in the gas station situation? I swear, I wish I could spray my mom with cretin repellant.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
On Monday I went to Dr. Gordon's office for the Epley Maneuver. After seeing the Youtube about the procedure I was expecting that it wasn't going to be too awful. Damn You youtube. My experience wasn't so cut and dry or tear free. After the first procedure of gently rotating my body and head for one minute in each position, They told me they now had to repeat the same procedure and this time I most likely would not be as dizzy. As soon as he laid me backwards, not only did the dizziness feel much much worse, i could also feel my eyeballs spinning quickly around in my head!! Nausea kicked in, It was terrifying! As if all that wasn't scary enough, Dr. Gordon indecently said... "This is very unusual" and he began to tell his assistant something about my eyes. I was so busy panicking and crying that I really don't know what he said. I remember saying.. What's wrong !!?What's happening???!! And he said.. I'm not completely sure but just hang in there the spinning will stop any second now.. and it finally did!! He continued with the rotation of positions and explained to my husband Something about my crystals being in different canals, but I really couldn't comprehend it in my state and I didn't need an explanation later either as I was so queasy and lightheaded, and i just wanted to go home.
What I did understand was that i couldn't know for sure if this maneuver cured my vertigo until after 48 hours had passed. So, If I was still feeling dizzy, that didn't mean it was unsuccessful. (but I sure have been frustrated that I am still feeling dizzy and lightheaded)
As part of the after care.. to prevent the ear crystals from being moved back into the sensitive part of the ear, I've been wearing a soft cervical neck collar to prevent sudden head jerks and bending. I can't sleep in bed but in a recliner at no more than a 45 degree angle.
It's been quite uncomfortable but will be worth it if this works..(as u can see, it has been very comfortable for Miss Molly and Mr. Cosmo, who haven't left my side and feet) If it doesn't work.. He wants to repeat the Epley Maneuver when I go back on Tuesday. I've read that Sometimes a few times is the charm.
The strangest thing happened monday night while attempting to sleep in the recliner. At about 4 am.. I heard this high pitched sound. Almost like a radio frequency that was out of whack. Without bending my head, I wrigggled my way out from under Cosmo and out of the recliner and started wandering around my home, trying to find out Which of my sons had left his tv, radio, cds, game player or SPACE TASSER?? on... I went all the way upstairs, I went down again. i went into the basement... and then I realized it was loudest in my kitchen... Where though?? First the napkin holder. I held it up to my ear.. it was buzzing so loudly.. then I put my ear up against the Light switches and FOUnD the source! High pitched sound waves or something?? I was so so confused... and then the light bulb in my dizzy head went off... Holy Shit! this may be ALL in my head?!! In my ears?? Does this mean the maneuver worked? Or does this mean I will be picking up the local radio stations in my ears and fillings now?
As I maneuvered myself and the dogs back down.. I felt this keen sense of hearing for the rest of that early morning.... I heard several loud jets. Trains. (which are so far from our home... I didn't know we ever heard them over here) I heard the crickets as loud as if they were sharing the recliner too. It was the weirdest experience, and I am trying to look at this as a positive sign that I am fixed! Even thought the audiologist said my hearing test last week, was good... who knows... maybe My hearing is even better than good and like My friend Carol said.. Maybe I have dog hearing now! Wouldn't that be great. Well, I already have the collar on.... Maybe I can get a matching leash and pooper scooper for Christmas.
visit 3 ww
Sunday, October 11, 2009
I've decided to start at his first entry and work my way up his assorted posts.
(btw..ON dishwashing cracked me up!)
Thanks blog buddies... And thanks Mike.. it's so nice to expand my blogging family.
Friday, October 09, 2009
My spinning is the worst at night while trying to sleep. Rolling over is a thing of the past as I can only sleep on my right side. Turning left makes me fly around the room. Unfortunately... visiting the bathroom in the night seems an inevitable occurrence and BUMPing into the walls is my typical way to sidewind my way to the toilet! This past week...I've knocked over my alarm clock, my lamp, stepped on my dog cosmo and knocked a picture off the wall! Luckily I caught it with my hands and not the top of my head!! Luckily too that Cosmo didn't even yipe (he has an unusually hard head for a little schnoodle!) All this while spinning and needing to urinate badly!
Each morning mr. Petals gets annoyed and says.. Wake me up!! I will help you get to the bathroom..
but I just don't want to disturb him that way... Best he is only disturbed by lamps and clocks and pictures bumping in the night, right??
I went to a doctor yesterday that specializes in... DIzZY people. (people have been calling me dizzy for years...who knew it was a specialty?!)
He diagnosed me as having BPPV and feels he can fix me with NO meds and NO surgery...
(Mr. Petals asked him ..."what are you going to do, say a chant over her head?" but NO..it is called the Epely maneuver and it looks crazy and I fear it will make me vomit... but I am praying it will help me. (my quick explanation to my sons was.. I have little crystal rocks in my ear that are out of whack.. He is going to turn me around a few times and move my rocks to a better place!! ) He said 80% of patients with BPPV are able to be helped by this method, saving lamps and pets and additional potential problems that could be caused by spinning and bumping out of control.
After the maneuver I have to wear a soft neck brace and Not lie down for 48 hours, I'll sleep in a recliner chair... No bending, driving, working. NO ZUMBA for sure!!! (I"ll have to ask him.. i sure hope it means no cooking, cleaning or laundry either)
WISH me Luck on Monday!!
Sunday, October 04, 2009
But I thought I would summarize my September for ME.. just to write something. Just for my own entertainment. Just to pass a few minutes while I try not to SPIN out of control.( explained later)
September! Wow It really flew.. Just like I feel the year has flown by.
My youngest Son began his senior year of High school. We both began the crazy college search.
I have found myself BEYOND overwhelmed with the whole process. Even though I had two other kids go off to college... this new OLDER, forgetful Me.. feels totally clueless with the entire process.. as If it's all new to me. I sent a frazzled email to his guidance counselor and I was wacky enough to write.. It may be menopause or Dementia but I sure need HeLP!
Another wacky undertaking in September... I actually went to a 10 hour Zumba workshop and am Now a Certified Zumba instructor! I know! Hard to imagine, right? I love this dance/exercise program so much but while taking the course.. I initially felt I would never be able to find the time (and talent) to choreograph routines and be courageous enough to begin teaching. After another week of reviewing the dvds they gave me and speaking to my amazingly inspiring Zumba teacher.. I began to think.. Hey why not? I don't have to be as intensely energetic as her or as skilled... and in her words... 'there are different types of zumba teachers for different types of students YOU CAN DO IT LUCy"... So I was ALL excited and pumped and
hello hello... I am (once again) in a place called Vertigo...
The spinning hasn't been as bad as back in '06 but it is preventing me from living my normal life and I am pissed off about that beyond any words! The last time it occurred, my doc sent me for an MRI.. but she never sent me to an ENT.. I really think that is who I need. Besides the usual spinning and nausea I am feeling like my ears are full of fluid. I have also been experiencing Crazy CRAZY buzzing in my ear! Especially while laughing hard!
Last week a New client had me hysterically laughing.. All of a sudden I SLAPPED the side of my head so hard it knocked my glasses off my head! Because I Thought a BEE had flown into my ear! She looked at me strange and I Laughed and only said.. "i am laughing so hard my glassses fell!!"..... ( and she looked at me weird as if thinking... YEAH! because you slapped yourself in the head Wacko!)
There have been some good things going on in September!! BAck in August for my 50th b.d. My friends had gotten us tickets to go see BYe Bye Birdie on broadway and an italian dinner before the show. The play was so cute and I was excited to see John Stamos play Dick Van Dykes role.
Gina Gershon was also in the show in the role of Rosie.. I had loved the movie back in the 60's when I was a kid. I thought they did a great job!
Also for my B.d., One of the gifts from Mr. Petals was Tickets to see Rusted Root in concert on Sept. 24th.
We have loved this band since the early 90's and I was so happy to get a chance to see them perform. The venue was a small theater, so after the show they signed Cds.. and I actually got to meet, TOUCH and talk with the lead singer Michael Glabicki.. who I loooveee!! Mr.Petals thought I looked 13 years old running to get on line to get his autograph... and u know what?
I felt 13! it was silly but fun and it made me happy! We also met and really really enjoyed the opening band.... The Kin. We bought their cds and are really enjoying their music as well. Two nice brothers from Australia. I hope they become popular because they have beautiful voices and are so talented AND so so nice.
I think synopsis means a sHOrt summary?? This is more like a September Story...
but anyway... besides my vertigo... i had a few other problems in September that are wearing my nerves down. First.. I injured my knee the week before the zumba workshop.. I have been trying to baby it, ice it, massage it, hot tub it and do some exerises that my son showed me he did in Physical therapy for his knee... but it may be time to see the doc. since it is holding me back from being as active as I usually am. Another problem that has me shocked and pissed off...
the Opthamologist is pretty sure I have glaucoma.. No I didn't turn 80 last b.d.. Only 50!
I am so worried.. He wants to repeat all the tests again this time early in the morning to see if it is the same result.. but it is an inherited disease and my mom has it ( although she didn't get hers till 79!)
So let's see.. what have I forgotten.. I Touched on the knee the eyes the spinning the zumba the college stress and the two fun shows... what have I forgotten about September?? Blogging!
I haven't kept up with my favorites or posted much of my own.. Hope I get inspired soon to post regularly and with a bit more flair than than just recapping.
Also let's hope October takes it's sweet time because I hate to believe that freaking Christmas is around the corner!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
right after I had had a bit of a memory lapse yesterday....It Hit me! My brain is turning into cheese! (mostly likely a genetic italian medley) I used to be able to take a small happening in my life, a problem, a happy moment, a funny occurrence, a worrisome moment... and tell a little tale about it. My life is still full of many types of moments.. but Cheese just doesn't seem to be able to process thoughts.
Yesterday I took my son to the pediatrician and they asked me to sign and date something...
I signed my name and then dated the paper 9/25/84. I'm not sure if the expression on my 16 year old sons face was worry or embarrassment as he quietly but firmly said to me... MOM?? It's TWO THOUSAND and NINE! The receptionist glanced at what I had wrote and threw me an expression that I sadly fear many people use on the mentally challenged. (or those with cheese for brains). I felt the need to defend my decades of memory loss by saying.. OH i must have been thinking of Franks Birth day because he was born on the 25th of June 1984... (Apparently my young son didn't see the logic in that connection since it's September) BUT... I still say.. there was some kind of connection that brought me back 25 years! As for the snooty receptionist.. she then began to SLOWLY question me to make sure all of our info. hadn't changed! She must have sensed the aroma of melted Mozzarella.
What's really starting to worry me, is that for as long as I can remember my mom has always had memory issues especially when it came to pronouncing words and names correctly.. She is a regular Norm Crosby (if u remember who he is). My sister and I stopped correcting Mom MANY years ago.. because No matter how many times we told her her favorite singer was NOT AnKle-Bart Hummerdinger but Engelbert Humperdink.. She just never could remember! Mom hasn't lived in Brooklyn since 1954... but it's still Earl and Ferl to her where it is Oil and foil to me. She still calls me my siblings names before she hits on mine! Last week she was ranting about her aNOONies for 10 minutes NON stop.. till I realized she was upset about her insurance annuities.
Many years ago while talking with my sister.. we began to wonder... WHAT if Mom had a normal brain when she was our age, after all she raised 3 kids all by herself and handled many tasks just fine....so what if we have some kind of disease in our family that causes a perfectly good brain to slowly turn to mush over time?... Not so much like Alzheimer's but more like... curdling. CURDLINg?? OH No!
See that! My brain really IS cheese!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
** Cable phone Problem #1-
ECHoing !! I am hearing ME! MY squeaky annoying voice echoing loudly! I find it impossible to concentrate on the caller when I am trying SO hard not to sound SO awful!!
**Cable phone problem #2-
Often when a caller is leaving a message on my machine they hear a clicking noise which makes them THINK someone has picked up while they are leaving a message... so I get them saying "luanne? Luanne"? Hello?? Hello?? Did u pick up?" and that is NOT good for business or for relationships of any kind!!
**Cable phone problem #3-
With Verizon I could look through my caller Id's.. find the number I need to call back and just hit send... with Cable... this phone feature doesn't work!! I have to write down every number when people leave messages and dial them the old fashioned way!! It may not sound like it's so much trouble, but because of business.. I sometimes return as many as 10 calls... trust me, the other way is a real time saver. We are locked into cable for a year.. a loonnngg Echoey, clicky, hand cramped year. (I've decided to put up a sign in my salon explaining the clicking so I don't take a chance of losing clients who may think I pick up a phone call but don't speak as I quietly giggle with my 12 year old friends)
So there you have it... Blogging has been reduced to this.. venting over telephone services.
Will I ever get a bit of creative inspiration ever again??
Saturday, September 19, 2009
thanks for checking in!
My dad passed away when I was 3 years old. My memories of him are more ingrained in me because of the stories I've heard about him. I'm not sure if they're real memories. My dad had a heart condition that was brought on from having Rheumatic Fever as a child.( With todays medical miracles, he could have been cured.) He was frail and restricted from vigorous activities. One story about him that I always treasured was that he always carried me around on his shoulders. My mom would always worry that I was too heavy and would yell at him to put me down. As a parent myself, I understand why he didn't listen. If you know you aren't going to be with your kids for too much longer, you take your chances and hang on tight.
I was (and still am) "the baby" of the family.
(When you are "the baby" you take this title with you till the end! I'm 47 and my mom still refers to me as the baby).
I think The weird thing about losing someone so important at such a young age is that the grieving process is the opposite of losing someone as an adult. As an adult the pain is present for a long time and fades a bit, the longer time has passed. The opposite is what I've been experiencing. Of course at 3 years old I had no clue of what was happening to my family. As I grew, there were times I felt curious and even embarrassed about not having a dad. During my teen years, I thought often of him and wanted to hear the stories and "get to know" him. As a young woman planning my wedding I wept -- knowing that he wouldn't walk me down the aisle. He wouldn't know the woman I had become or the man I was going to spend my life with. Raising my sons, I wished for their sake as well as for my dads that they would have had each other to love and learn from. Even Now, 44 years after he has died, I think of him often and get choked up as I am now, trying to write this.
One of my favorite songs brings me to tears each time I hear it. It is Bjorks version of an old song called oh my papa. In her native icelandic language it translates to Pabbi Minn. ( If you click this you can hear her beautiful version) Even though I don't understand a word she is saying, I can't hear this song without missing my poor dad. As I listen to her flawless, gripping voice- I can imagine myself weightless on his loving shoulders, being carried into my future with him always being there, making my life's journey simply idyllic.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Even though the fantasy of him eases my panic a smidge- I know I need to do this on my own. Miraculously, through my one eye that isn't enshrouded in material- I spy a Zipper! Oh my God, this dress had a zipper? I manage to reach it and pull just enough to get a whole hand out. I escape! Let me tell you though, For Five LONG minutes I didn't think I would without ripping that (fantasy sized) bully in two.
Monday, September 07, 2009
WHERE did this summer go to?? And how did my kids grow so quickly?
Tomorrow begins my youngest sons SENIOR year and My TWENTY FIRST and LAST year of sending one of my kids off to school in my district. Surreal? you betcha! After this, he will hopefully have at least 4 years of college and then I am hoping I can fly off to Tahiti without any of them missing me.
I have been in this school district for TWENTY-FIVE years. Half of my life! Many years ago it was brought to my attention that we have a WEEKLY community newspaper. My friend referenced something from it and showed it to me, and I discovered this very informative paper was free to district residents. This little paper also seemed essential for people with kids in the district, keeping you up to date and in the loop. My address was somehow overlooked and left me out of the loop. (maybe that is why many friends call me loopy?) anyway.. I called them... spare you the long conversation but they were going to send it to me..... you know how busy it is raising kids and living a hectic life.. I didn't notice it, but they never sent it... FAst forward to this past June.... Another friend quotes something VERY significant from this little important newspaper.. My memory is jarred and I call them AGAIN. WELL... NOW their new policy is it is only free for those who've already received it for free, any NEW residents must pay a yearly fee. HELLO??!!! I've lived here for 25 years! I reasoned with the idiot on the phone for a bit and then asked to have his boss call me... Let's see, that was about 3 months ago.. Do I give up?? After all.. Tahiti is only a few years off... NO, I can't give up! You see, certain things of principle make me absolutely craaazzzy!
I want this damn paper! I am not paying a penny for it! AND if they make me HOT enough I am also demanding 25 years of back issues!! (okay, that may be unreasonable and too difficult to recycle) But, remembering my success with the apple store....I WILL be calling tomorrow and hopefully after 21 years of being loopy with district news... This last year, we will absolutely be on top of things!
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
I attempted FOUR, Yes 4 haikus..
which one do u like best?
in sparkling passionate glare
The threat of true love?
Her lackluster eyes
A glare sharper than a knife
Silent deadly threat
Her threat of revenge
The luster of her silk scarf
his glare choked in awe
your lustrous glare thrills
threatens my skin with Cha Chills
weakens all my wills
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
I miss reading all my favorite blogs. I miss participating in all my favorite prompt blogs. Hoping this heads or tails will help lift my blog funk and then maybe this other funk will float along for the ride.
Friday, August 28, 2009
I carry your opinions, beliefs, ideas
Dreams wished for or wishes broken
Sometimes shared sometimes unspoken
I carry your heart aches and pain
disappointments that remain
I carry your achievements and wins
hearty laughs, devilish grins
I carry your humorous punk pranks
your thoughtfulness, sweet-thanks
I carry your love and kisses on cheek
your quirky ways & moody streaks
I carry memories of your childhood lives
along with visions of your prospective wives
I carry muted prayers for your future years
lavish with health & happiness, short on tears
I carry the memory of each precious birth
As I will you pride, strength, self-worth
I carry my eternal thanks to heaven above
For granting me the weight of unconditional love
Three sons I shall love from their infancy till I depart
Three sons I treasure carrying forever in my heart
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
I think.. I will try to answer all of these colorful questions...
my thoughts on adulthood?? Adulthood is over rated! When we are kids we can't wait to grow up. I wished most of my childhood away just aching to be an adult, be in charge of my own life, my future, my decisions, my freedom. But when I look back, I was really forced at a ridiculously early age to do most of those things and ironically I was acting more adult at 8 years old than most adults do at 28. Yet the wishing continued and before I knew what had happened I was an adult in the eyeballs of society and up to my eyeballs in responsibilities. (be careful what u wish for?) ABSO-freaking-LUTELY!
What do I want to be when I grow up? Gee.. I just turned 50 but I am still working on that one!
that 8 year old couldn't wait to be a mama.. This mama loves being a mama and a hairstylist. But I feel like I am still growing and I still want to try my hand (or should I say FEET) at something more. I signed up for that workshop to learn how to be a zumba instructor. I am excited and a little nervous at this prospect. I've always had a passion for dancing... but I think my ultimate answer to this one would be .... happy and peaceful.. I just want to be happy and peaceful AS I CONTINUE to grow up.
Am I scared of being an adult? Not any more. Now I am more scared for my adult sons. I find myself worrying constantly. About their safety, their decisions, their disappointments and heartaches. I used to always put up the following Elizabeth Stone quote as an away message when i used to use AIM... EVERY parent will relate... "making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body"
Have I been forced to be the adult in a relationship? not at all! Although my husband and I share in all the adult responsibilities of our lives... Often (and I am so happy about this) He takes the roll of nurturer with me. I put up a fuss protesting his pampering and his treating me as if I am a 'delicate flower'***(see note below) .. but he knows I really like it, and need it and I know that he knows about that 8 yr. old acting like an adult portion of my life, so i know it all comes from loving me and wanting to compensate for the time when he wishes I would have been properly pampered. (did this make sense??) *** I remember seeing a tv show years ago.. where a husband so beautifully talked about how every relationship has you either being the gardener or the flower. I think it is true.. Most couples I know, it always seems the woman is the gardener, constantly tending to her flowers needs.
Do I have an adult child who won't grow up?
instead of saying NO COMMENT.. I will instead just say... I think times have really changed and young adults seem to be a bit slower at growing up than young adults in my day. And this goes back to the yellow question... Growing up and being an adult is pretty scary!
Am I glad to finally be an adult? 'finally' doesn't really apply to me, but YES I am happy to be an adult, Would be even happier to be a YOUNG adult all over again, but am just counting my blessings that I am not yet living in an adult home or living with an adulterer and have no plans on becoming an adulteress! Just an ordinary adult who sometimes acts very immature and is trying to just have lots of fun in her second act! :)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
My 50th birthday was on monday. I had been feeling a little overwhelmed by this surreal number, but as the amazing love poured in from my friends, family and even my clients.. The 'number' started becoming less and less relevant and the warmth and love I felt surrounding me became my focus and my greatest joy. I received so many moving cards and beautiful gifts and phone calls. I can't even express how much I appreciate all these thoughts! I received 3 flower deliveries! I lined them up on my table for a picture to show you and thought... Gee it smells like a funeral parlor in here..Maybe people are thinking I'm 50, i must be dying!! but No no no! I pushed that thought OUT of my wacky head.
The celebrating started last month when Mr. Petals gave me an early present.. my little ipod touch.
At first I thought I wasn't technologically engineered correctly to learn how to use it.
But after a friend walked me through it a bit.. it has become my new favorite toy.
I downloaded the scrabble app ( there's a tech term! it's short for application!!)
and now I can play facebook scrabble(which I may be hooked on) OUTSIDE in the sunshine!
(I recently compared the internet to running water and Mr. Petals is worried that he may have made a mistake with this gift!)
Since Saturday, we've enjoyed many dinners, much laughter, and CAKE!! Oh my! I think previously, I may have been cake deprived, because I can't seem to get enough CAKE!!
Whipped creme cakes, pound cakes, Peach pies, chocolate cake, and tonight at book club... cheese cake and crumb cake! YUMMM!
The best part of this week.. It's only Wednesday! Tomorrow my sweet Cara mia Carol is taking me out for a special italian lunch date! Then, in the evening it's off to the movies! On friday i am hoping to go BAcK to the beach. On Saturday we have a dear friends daughters wedding! Sunday we will be with other special friends and my vacation will sadly come to an end.. HOWEVER! the feast will continue in September when we celebrate with the theater tickets friends gave me to see Bye Bye Birdie on broadway!(with cutie pie John Stamos) As well as dinner in the city too! Also in September Mr. Petals and I are seeing one of our favorite bands.. Rusted root!
So you see that?! 50 is incredible! It's not so scary after all and it's FUN! and FUN is what I am all about at 50! I just want to have lot's of FUN!!
(if u read this whole spiel.. Thanks for listening!)
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
My dinner party would be very casual. We would probably gather on pillows on the floor around a large glass coffee table with various candles and colorful dinnerware. I will be serving...(well.. wait... this is a fantasy right?? I will have my cabana boy.. Hugh Jackman serving dinner) He doesn't count as one of my seven guests because he is the help ( and part of another fantasy!)
The first to arrive will be Bjork. She will bring her uniqueness and probably some Icelandic dessert that will look like a beautiful swan but taste a bit unusual. Next to arrive will be Cyndi (Lauper)... She will make a noisy entrance as she shows her true colors... her Fun personality along with some homemade brownies. Billie (holiday) will be right behind her.. Bringing me a bouquet of gardenias as her haunting sultry voice thanks me for getting her a night away from her lover man.
We will all shine on when John Lennon walks through the door, he brings with him an aura of peace and puts us all in a more relaxed mood. He also brings my favorite red wine and I imagine I will sit him right to my right.
Freddy( mercury) has given Judy (garland) a ride, and they walk in together with energy and spirit AND a trail of groupie fat bottomed girls? ( hugh escorts the girls to the pool to chill)
We all begin noshing on grilled veggies and artichokes oreganata, chick pea salad, shrimp and lobster cocktail, delicious wines... Their voices begin to break out with song . I am swooning and goose bumped from the harmony of all my favorite talented singers. WaIT.. I stop swaying to their voices and sipping my wine to ask Hugh... Gee... why hasn't Jerry arrived yet? I hope he is okay... No sooner than me asking hugh (who btw, is wearing only a bow-tie on his sexy neck and an apron around his chiseled waist)
The door bell rings and IN walks Jerry Seinfeld... (yes I know he doesn't sing but I adore him)....
and he says.. Did u ever notice... how You can measure distance by time. "How far away is it?" "Oh about 20 minutes." But it doesn't work the other way. "When do you get off work?" "Around 3 miles." I'm Sorry I'm late... but your invitation with your address flew out my car window on the l.i.e.(long island expressway)! hey.. I brought you some NON fat frozen yogurt and Soup!
There u have it!
this was a fun one girls! Congrats to Laini!
Friday, August 07, 2009
so.. NEW is the prompt for the week
So, what is New here in the petals residence?! WHEWwwww I can't even believe I am sharing this, but I just have to share it, because I just heard it and I still can't believe it and It is NEWS to me and I don't know whether I should be pissed or amused or REALLY pissed!
As mr. petals (notice I didn't capitalize the m in mr or the p in petals tonight) and I were having a wonderful soak in the hot tub and talking about this and that... THIS NEW information was revealed to me after being married to this man for nearly TWENTY NINE YEARS! Ends up, there was a woman he was MADLY in love with before he met me!! Now.. I knew he had been WAY around the block before I came along... I mean maybe...WAY around the neighborhood would be a better description. (or town? no... PLANET!) way around the planet is fitting! I've heard many tales about many women which have made me upset but I fought my emotions from bubbling over because it was just 'meaningless sex'. (apparently many can put those two words together, I never could.) (and also 'cause i always Coerce him into telling me, so I can't show I am upset!!) But THIS NEW revelation!! Holy shit! I mean what is a woman suppose to do with this information?! mr petals doesn't read my blog.. but I would feel like a creep, if I were to disclose any more of the UN F**#ING BELIEVABLE details of this relationship he was involved in. What I can't help wondering deep in my heart.. WHY? Why didn't he ever share this? I WILL TELL YOU WHY!! Because.. She affected him THAT much! That's why!! Why else would this have NOT come out early on in our dating?? And then there was planning a wedding for a year.. ya THINK maybe that would have been a good time to tell someone who is committing to spend the rest of their lives with you that You've already experienced being madly in love??
Of course he is denying today that he was madly in love with her..
denying that THAT was the reason this was never discussed... But I Am a WoMAN!! I Know!!
I know EVERYThing! I know about emotions! and feelings! and covert affairs! and scheming deception! and Silence speaking VOlumES!!! I know this is going to haunt me for a very long time. I also know I will need to drop this with mr. petals. (or he may never confess any other secrets!!) This man has devoted himself to loving me for over 30 years and I KNOW like I know my own heart... that he has been undeniably faithful and madly in love with me. So why then does this news have my stomach feeling like there is a spin cycle going on inside of it, pushing sudsy bubbles into my throat and heated FURY into my pulsing veins?? Why then do i feel so betrayed? Cheated on! Misled! Deceived! Can someone help me clarify why I am such a lunatic. OR AM i crazy to feel so distressed? Maybe I am not crazy and should go kill the bastard right now?? I am open for suggestions!! (not on how to kill him, I'm sicilian...THAT i can handle)
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Bone has officially named this commencement
which stands for National Blog something from drafts week! You are brilliant Mr.Bone!
So here is one of my least awful posts from that bin. Good thing I don't clean up my clutter, or i may have deleted them all!
Once upon a time(about 11 years ago) an adorable, curly haired little boy, so badly wanted a beautiful bright blue beta fish. He asked for one everyday. Soon his wish was granted! He quietly watched it swim in its bowl everyday. Everyday, he carefully fed it just the right amount of stinky fish food. He named his treasured fish 'fish'. One day while the little boy was out shopping with his mom, His very adorable but finicky dad, decided to clean fishes bowl. Being a bit of a perfectionist, Mr Finicky Petals decided that soap and water didn't work well enough. He brilliantly decided to go down to the laundry room ( where he is forbidden to go by Mrs. Petals for washing her bras with his dirty paint clothes) and get the Giant bottle of clorax. Fish swam around in a paper cup nearby as Mr. Petals got fishes bowl immaculately clean and smelling fresher than the day it was bought. Knowing how delicate fish like fish were, Mr. Petals knew he had to rinse rinse rinse it very well before putting fish back into that bowl.
After all that careful attention to rinsing.... It came as Quite a surprise to Mr. Petals when he plopped fish back in his spotless bowl, that he instantly turned from bright beautiful blue to pale light blue to laying upside down at the top of the bowl!! HOrriFiED! Mr. Petals quickly flushed fish and put the bowl out of sight, hoping his sweet sensitive little boy wouldn't notice too quickly. When curly head came home, Mr petals would get his second surprise of the day.. Curly wasn't as sad as he was ANGry! AFter much sensitive talking to curly head and promises of a new beautiful blue fish... It was finally revealed... THE FLUSH was the reason The adorable little (sadistic? ) child had wanted a fish in the first place. Apparently he saw THE FLUSH on a tv sitcom and THAT is what caused his desire to own a little fish! He wasn't sad that fish had passed away... but angry that HE didn't get to send him off down the toilet to his final resting place! He was waiting for THAT grand moment! Since then, we haven't let another little fish come here to die.. and Mr. Petals is banned again from going near the laundry room AND the big bottle of clorax.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
most likely... having Fun!
check out one of many zumba dance routines....
( i wish someone could help teach me to 'share' the youtube
on my blog... I am signed up and hit share but it never appears!)
Monday, August 03, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
My head was pounding and I wasn't sure if it was due to the heat or dehydration or if it was my 4 pm caffeine withdrawal hitting harder than usual. As soon as I drank a glass of water and washed my hands I began fumbling..(yes fumbling and shaking) quickly getting my dirty coffee pot pieces out of the dishwasher and quickly hand washing them. As I dug my still damp shaky hand into my HUGE costco bag of dunken donuts coffee to locate the buried scooper, cursing it for being buried, it occurred to me... THIS must be what a drug addict feels like as they are desperately awaiting that next fix! I didn't care that the grounds of coffee were sticking under my finger nails and onto my rings. I didn't care that I was making a coffee mess on my counter. I didn't even care that I hadn't Thoroughly washed my electric pots basket and cover. I was only focused on the perk. Get it perking. Get it in my blood stream. Get rid of the headache. Get it Get it Get it. My infusion of caffeine will Cure the headache, Cure the exhaustion, cure the dragging and Allow me to get that second wind to prepare dinner. Ahhhh the darkness of the full bodied rich roast! My knees weaken as I pour and savor the distinct, intense premium bean aroma!
Then the sip! Piping hot, strong, robust flavor with a bite to it! I close my eyes, feel it enter my veins. The hectic day of running errands drains away and I Thank god my drug of choice is legal AND sold in bulk. Care to join me for a cup?
visit three word wednesday!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Where in the World? Have you ever stood still and scratched your head and said, 'Where in the world?' Is there somewhere in the world you would love to go? Are you looking for someone or something or a place that makes sense to you? Where in the world are you?
Sometimes if I stop and think too long about Where in the world I am or where in the world I am going.. I think I may just cry.
Sometimes my world seems like an escalator to nowhere, an escalator that keeps taking me back and forth through life's daily necessities and routines. My escalator stops often for the needs of others. Weekly it leads me to Costco and the grocery store and back down to home again. Then It's up again...off to purchase beauty supplies for work, take my son to a dr.'s appointment, take my dogs to the vet. Pick up someone's prescription, drop off the dry cleaning, Pick it up next week.... Don't misunderstand... very often this escalator leads me to Happy Lucy days. A zumba class, A day at the beach, an afternoon with a friend, an evening at the theater. But really, even with a break in the routine, even with enjoying the happy times and frequent laughter that occurs within the ho hum routines... Where in the world am I going?? Is this all there should be to ones life? A series of routine chores and work sprinkled with bits of enjoyment?
In 3 weeks I will turn 50. I am feeling like there has to be more for me. More to me. I have so many ideas that I wanted to cultivate, Yet I never seem to have the time for them. I am feeling so happy and so alive and having SO much fun when I am dancing at my zumba class, that I've actually toyed with the idea of training to be an instructor, yet I think of my age and say... get real Lucy! My husband thinks it's not foolish, he wants me to just 'go for it' (maybe he has watched Rocky one to many times) Or, Maybe I should just go for it? Go for something. something fun. Reach for anything exciting. As I get older, I keep hearing Cyndi Lauper's words and repeating them as my mantra.. 'girls just want to have fun'.. and I DO! I really want to just have fun!
Sometimes, asking where in the world you are can make you cry but sometimes it can also make you try. Trying to imagine where you may be going may just help get you there.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Later on at work.. My son was talking to that woman's son.. They walked outside to see the dent and then her son exclaimed to my son... OH THAT DENT WAS THERE ALREADY! When my husband took a second look at our own car that night... he realized that we just had a few scratches and to make the large dent that the other car had it probably would have caused SOMEthing more on ours! So when the dented owner called him a few days later... My husband told her what her son had said and explained how he felt we didn't have enough damage to cause such a dent. She denied the dent was hers! and on the spot Asked her son if he had said that the dent was there already. Of course, he lied and said NO! She said her son must have been remembering the dent on the other side of the car! SO, what are we to do? NOT believe her?? Then!! to make her lie even MORE obvious... she offered to SPLIT the estimated cost with us! SPLIT it? WHY?? If she didn't have that dent already.. WHY is she being SO kind to total strangers?? Good Samaritan or no good S.O.B.? Even though we have our doubts.. we paid up and want to feel good about 'doing the right thing'. ( but doubt sure puts a damper on feeling good.)
Friday, July 17, 2009
Today I did some math in my loopy head...
There are 65 days left of summer...
I have messy drawers and cabinets all over my home that
are overwhelming me and making me crazy.
I cannot bear to spend a summer day off
cleaning all day. And drawers?? They are worse
than dusting!! So.. I came up with The Perfect plan!
To begin, I started counting the messy drawers..
let's see... the desk I sit at to blog.. has 7 messy drawers...
Two of our bedrooms? (the older kids are on their own)
26 messy drawers (I need more fingers..)
but let me see.. so far...33..
then the kitchen? Yikes... 10 more
(EAsy adding 10) .. we're now at 43..
two more in dining area..45
Okay... So here is my brilliant Solution to this mathematical clutter equation ..
Do only ONE drawer each day and still have 20 days to spare! I CAN have these
all clean before autumn! Why didn't I think of it sooner?! and ONE drawer?.. i mean
HOW long can ONE take?.. I will start with ONE messy top desk drawer RIGHT NOW...
(hang on a sec...)
Gee that was REALLY easy, easy as pie! ... I just grabbed all the crap and threw it in the bottom
drawer of the desk. but, let me think... if I do that each day, then by day 7 I will have ONE very big job that will most likely be an all day job which will totally overwhelm me again...
I cannot BEAR to waste a summer day with this kind of job!!
(I was never very good at Math or planning )
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
It was a gorgeous day but Of course like many teens.. He was a bit sullen about coming along. This gorgeous arbor of Roses had my spirit beaming and helped bring him around to really enjoying the day!
hope u visit 3 word wednesday!