Saturday, October 14, 2006

heartache


This poignant quote is by Author Elizabeth Stone- Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
Every Mother can relate to this. We Feel this. We live this. Our children call us "over protective", they think we are "crazy" and we "worry too much". Until they feel the heart tearing state of mother hood, they will never know how right WE are.
Last night I got a call from my oldest son. From a stretcher in an emergency room. Delivered there by ambulance. 3 hours away from me. Only a mother reading this passage can imagine ( or maybe unfortunately, remember) the heart pounding emotional despair you experience. Thank god, he is okay. He had a bicycle accident and has a broken collar bone. He is banged up and bruised. He is hurting. I have never had a broken bone, but I can't stop feeling his pain. I want to bring him home, nurture him, hug him and make sure he heals quickly. But I can't force my motherly urge on him. He wants to continue on his own. He is after all a man now. He is comfortable in his life.He is many miles away from me. Compassion cuts like a knife. I need to see him and hold him and know he is going to mend. I need to visit him. I need to be with my heart again.

7 comments:

Karen said...

Oh my goodness. I think I would have to jump in the car and go. I feel your "heart" ache. Prayers for a speedy recovery (for both of you).

ann said...

I am glad he is on the mend ---- I hope you are too!

Lyn said...

Oh the poor kid and poor Mommy too. I think you might need a quick road trip to Albany. Thank God it wasn't worse.

Ally Bean said...

What a lousy thing to happen. But I'm glad to hear that he is okay and that you're hanging in there sending good vibes from afar.

Lucy said...

thanks everyone for your good wishes. I just came back from seeing him. He is doing well in spite of the bad break. His collar bone is broken in two places. He is in a figure 8 brace, which is making it feel better. The hospital had put him in a splint, which was very uncomfortable. I feel so much better, just having seen him and knowing he will be able to handle this, with the help of his good friends that he is living with.

jenifleur said...

Someday he will know. Either from being a parent himself or when it's his turn to take care of you and worry and suffer at your suffering. I'm glad he's ok, but hugs to you for YOUR pain!

spider said...

It just doesn't matter how old our children get, we still, and no doubt will always, feel their pain and heartaches as if they were our own. Thankfully, we feel their happiness and joy when they triumph in life as well. Hoping your son has made leaps towards recovery. Thank you for the lovely "mother's" quote.