Sunday, April 25, 2010

Dinner!

The sunday scribblings girls chose the prompt dinner in honor of the movie Julia & Julie. I Loved that movie girls! One of my favorite lines was when Julie asked her best friend if she (julie) was a bitch, and living up to her title of BEST friend, she replied..."Yes, But Everyone is!".. Isn't that the truth? Even Moi! I must admit, most often I am pretty even tempered but there are those scattered times when This little, evil bitch devil just perks up her pointy ears and tail and points her pitchfork at whomever is Pissing me off enough to summon this doppelganger to appear! Getting back to dinner.... I took my son to burger King last month. Even tempered Lucy that is.
When we walked in, there were only two customers in the whole place. They were at the counter ordering. We stood (a good distance away) waiting for our turn. All of a sudden three people burst disruptively through the door, loudly arguing in their native language and exchanging burger king coupons. Finally the two women took a table and the man stood on line behind even tempered Lucy. Behind?? NO, not just behind me... AlMOST touching me, breathing on my neck, right up against me...behind me... The place was EMPTY. ROOM wasn't a hindrance!
I waited for a second or two, then turned and said (I admit a bit abruptly) excuse me, you need to back off a bit. He just looked at me and then smiled real big as if I had just said "hi nice to meet u sir".. You're assuming he didn't speak english, correct?? ... REad ...on....
Before I could even think rationally... EVIL Bitch Lucy appeared, ears pointier than ever before!
And with an attitude That would have shaken Mike Tyson She said... HEY! YOU NEEEED TO BACK OFF! BACK OFF! Well the smiling man began SCREAMING at me in broken english! 'You not a nice laaadddeee!!!! YOU YELL AT ME??? YOU DON'T YELL AT ME!!! (He went on and on, I can't even remember what ridiculousness was coming from his mouth)
My son began laughing but I willed my bitchy side to stifle herself and moved her and my son away from someone who I thought seemed FAR crazier than I had felt. I may be a bitch SOME times, but i consider myself cautious and perceptive MOST times! We got his dinner and got the hell OUT of there!
Gee... I just wrote a bitch post instead of the 'dinner' post I had intended to write. I wanted to simply say... lately I ALWAYS say... "DINNER IS OVER RATED!" And I planned on going on and on about HOw difficult it's become to PLAn and execute these tedious dinners that seem so important to be creative, when I'd be happy enough(if I lived alone) with a simple soup or sandwich or a yogurt or bowl of cereal. Yet each night.. I feel it's my obligation to set upon the table a healthy, varied feast each day of the week! I know I do this to myself.. NO one is saying We need to eat these overrated dinners! Oh well, I've been so easily distracted lately...
Getting back to the burger king incident... My family has NOT let me live this down... EACH time we see an asian man, one of the wise men I live with says... Hey mom... Why don't you go beat him Up?? boys can be bitches too!

7 comments:

Dee Martin said...

that's hilarious and your family sounds like mine - get something on you and milk it for years!

Giggles said...

Lucy I am all but on the floor laughing. Seriously...Pepper did the exact same thing to a lady this week. The same woman always stands way to close to her, she said "can you just MOVE BACK PLEEEEASE!!" she was all but in Peppers purse!!! So when I read this to her she was howling too!!!

As for the dinner making, cereal would suffice for me too....when the kids are gone dinner is anything in the fridge NOT moldy...
But most nights I feel I need to plan and prepare a healthy hearty meal for the kids. It's so redundant and I've done too long already!!!

I love you Lucy, you are so authentic, a fabulous writer...as I read it aloud it was like a comedy skit...and yes boys can be bitches too.

Did I ever tell you about the man in the bank who first smelled my hair then began to fondle it to my absolute shock....I moved away totally freaked out. Good for you telling that guy to back off!!!

Have a good week
Love Giggles

Tammy Brierly said...

Luce, you are too damn funny and very Italian. LMAO

P.S. Send recipes

Love you

Forgetfulone said...

Loooooocyyyyyy! You got some "splainin' to do! You're cracking me up! Loved this post. Mine was about missing my daddy.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

My god, you went all Zumba on him.

JP/deb said...

you've got a seriously feisty bitch living in there ... this was too funny!!!!!!!!

Short Poems said...

You have lovely blog, I enjoyed it :)

marinela x x