here I go again

I finally joined Weight Watchers! Again! This is my 3rd "official" time. Lord knows, in between I've followed the program on and off without the meetings. Back in '96 ( wow, I can't believe 10 yrs. ago) I reached my goal and actually kept it off for at least 5-6 years. In 1988? around there, I also reached goal and kept it off a few years. You would think I would be a lifetime member? Nope, foolishly, I never did the little it takes( i think attending meetings for 6 weeks?) to achieve that status. So here I go again. My eating habits have slowly gone back to all the wrong ones. I've stopped exercising all together. I haven't even been for the "walks on the beach" that I so falsely talk about on my profile. I have strayed so far from the "healthy me", I'm not sure I've got it in me to be her again. I used to do intense work outs at a gym. I used to do Kick boxing. I used to love weights. Who the hell was that woman? I don't think I can ever get back into that kind of shape. First off, I feel old and tired ( all the time). gee, you think it's the extra 20 lbs. doing that Second, I feel like I don't have much free time lately. hmmmm, Maybe too much time writing about nothing on the ole' blog and finally ,third- I LOVE TO EAT! ANYTHING I LIKE! ANYTIME I WOULD LIKE TO~!

This is only day two of the diet and I am feeling very weak.( not in the "I'm going to faint" sense, in the sense that I may fucking blow this already) I am Very hungry. I really would like a cookie. I seem to remember W.W. giving me more points last time I followed it. I only get 20 measly points a day! In case your not one of the millions who know about this diet, let me give you an example- A bagel
( something I am longing for) the delicious type from the bagel store?? Its SIX points! Smear that with scallion cream cheese and I can probably call it a fucking day! I made the mistake yesterday of wasting TWO whole precious points on a half cup ( do you realize how small that is) Of disgusting cottage cheese w/ pineapples, that I thought looked good. I should have stopped after one nasty bite, but i was starving, I tell you!

I'm hoping that at the next meeting, I can ask the lecturer about the secret foods that I know she knows about, but she is holding out on me. Lifers have tried everything and know what shitty artificial butter substitute tastes less like plastic than the others. They know which ice creams and cookies don't blow your points and won't blow you up with gas. They know how to make mashed potatoes by rubbing two spuds together. I remember there were tricks. ( just not a whole lot of real treats )

The one thing I am happy about, about doing this diet, AGAIN, Is that I joined with My husband. It's the first time we are going together. I am going to look at it, as time together. A night out.( a date) Hopefully, we will help each other.Hopefully, We will have some laughs. Hopefully, we will enjoy new acquaintances. Hopefully, he will smuggle snicker bars in his pockets.