Thursday, December 27, 2007

Save the planet (and your Ass!)

Writers Islands prompt this week-EARTH
I think there are two types of people on our EARTH... 1. those who think nothing of tossing their Big Mac litter out their car windows and 2. those who will drive to their destination with the lingering nasty onion odor( making them sorry they ate this food in the first place) ,just to do the right thing and throw it in a garbage pail.... If you're type one ,you probably could care less about our wonderful planet... BUT you Care about your own ass.(fat ass, if you don't give up the junk food) So... read this Brilliant routine from Mr. George Carlin.... and maybe... Just maybe, you will perceive it the way I do. Not as an anti-green rant, but as a warning. Warning You to show Mr. EARTH a little respect.....before YOU or your future descendants ARE shaken off his back like a bad case of fleas!

"We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet?

I'm getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun?

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet...the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!

We're going away. Pack your shit, folks. We're going away. And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.

You wanna know how the planet's doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You wanna know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.

The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?" Plastic...asshole.

So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let's see... Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.

Well, that's a poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See I don't worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while.
by George Carlin

I would also like to add.... If this moved you... even if it just moved you to chuckle.... Make ONE change! If we all just add one more smart change to our lives... I think we can make a difference. I think we can keep Mr. Earth from annihilating us! check out 26 things we can do to help
Don't get me wrong-I DON'T do nearly as much as I know I should. I like a long hot shower, I drive everywhere, I use my clothes dryer A LOT. But, being conscious of what can help and trying each day to make a change.... is a start! ( I recently switched all my light bulbs to the compact fluorescents..... They take a while to give you light, which is sometimes a pain, especially when you get something in your eye and run into the DARK bathroom! haha Other than that, they seem great! )

12 comments:

keith hillman said...

My goodness! That was a rant and a half! Whether you agree with Mr Carlin or not, it's certainly thought provoking. I'm exhausted from reading it!

Just Jen said...

I've always enjoyed George Carlin, he's not wrong very often and he's not wrong on this one!

Herb Urban said...

Excellent rant! I used to watch George Carlin's specials on HBO strictly for comedy in my youth. As I get older, I now view him as a philosopher and a sage. Truly, one of the most brilliant and fearless minds of his century.

I like the analogy of the planet as our landlord. When it evicts us, we will not be getting our cleaning deposit back.

I'm glad I don't eat meat, otherwise it would be impossible to ever rid my car of that omnipresent onion odor.

giggles said...

I've always loved George Carlin too! I think I do most of the twenty-six things. Hypocrisy runs rampant with many preaching environmentalists. It's almost the new religion. I do what I can to make a difference. There is only one car for three people in this house. How many can boast that? It certainly can inconvenience people to take part! Funny yet thought provoking and brave post!

Hugs Sherrie

jeques said...

Very straight forward. Thanks for sharing. I like the humor in the side, and yes, reality bites.

I wish you well.

~ Jeques

Ella said...

I agree, minus the $%^&* language.But some days the $%^& just comes out.

Ella

Frances said...

I love the title.
You got four big gold stars **** before I even read a word of the post.
Well-said.
Thanks for taking the time to visit me.
Happy 2008!
Frances

spider said...

George Carlin is the MAN. A very, very, smart man. And funny, to boot!

jadey said...

George Carlin is one of those comedians who can make you laugh, think and get mad all at the same time.

forgetfulone said...

If I'm using so much energy, how come I'm not skinny? LOL. Just kidding. That was a great post. The link was very useful. My husband and I have tried to be so careful about recycling paper, plastic, and aluminum, and we've also switched lightbulbs, but we could do so much more. We are CONSUMERS, and I don't mean that in a good way. So much trash! Makes me want to buy those cloth bags to carry out my groceries. Maybe I will.

forgetfulone said...

Sorry for the double comment. I wanted to let you know I added your blog in my sidebar. Hope that's okay. I've enjoyed reading it. And I'm gonna do writer's island - next topic.

Crafty Green Poet said...

some rant that was! As for the types of people in the world, what about those who don't go to MacDonalds and who don't have a car?