Weird?

Sunday Scribblings I am so weird I don't know where to begin.
I also think many things are so weird I don't know where to begin. Like yesterday... A client had a 10 am appointment for a haircut.. (which is the same time she makes it EVERY month) She gets to my house at 10:15 and is just sitting in her car on the phone! Finally she makes her way in about 10:25 and I say.. Bernice your appointment was at 10 am. She laughs (a bit hysterically I must say) and says.. "You know what? I couldn't remember!! I thought it was 10 or 10:30?"
She never apologizes and when I suggested that she could always call me if she forgets.. She says..
"yeah I was going to call but I figured you are always so busy, why bother you" Weird?? hello!
So instead of bothering me with a call she just decides to screw up my schedule and Now I will be behind for the rest of my clients?? WEIRD! Speaking of Weird People...

I had to return a pair of shoes the other day... Trying to patiently wait my turn in the ridiculously busy store.. I started observing others. The horrors I saw!! Women acting like princesses while the slave shoe men brought them their choices. Salesmen trying to be professional while customers chatted on the phone and held their boxes out impatiently for the 'slave' to take them away.. What is happening to our society?? Weird?? No not really, disgusting. that's probably a better word for this weird example.
So how am I weird? Well, I am a bit compulsive about germs. It began for me WAY before all this hand sanitizing hysteria over the H1N1 virus. I drummed hand washing into my kids from EARLY on so they have always been in the habit of walking in the house and right to the sink to wash their hands. I promised my pal pepper i would reveal my weird but effective public restroom hand washing technique that allows me NOT to touch AnYthing!! So this is for Pep...
(and any other weirdo's who want to be OCD like me)
step one.. Use your elbow to dispense many paper towels. (if its not a push down lever and you need to turn the dial.. u can just use your hands since you will be washing them. ( i like the lever types)
step two...stick one large clump of paper towels under your arm pit
use another clump of the paper towels to turn on the water faucet
step three... lift towels again (without touching the bottom that touched the faucet) and
smash down on soap dispenser.
step four- apply soap,rub into hands and fingers (DOn't forget thumbs!)for 20 seconds.
step five.. rinse thoroughly(if it's one of those auto turn offs.. USE the towels to put it on again)
step six.. Use the armpit paper towels to thoroughly dry your hands AND use them to grab the sink towels and toss them AND to grab the door handle to the bathroom. (If you don't u may as well have NOT washed your hands at all.)
step seven.. (Yes there's more).. If there is No garbage pail near the door... sometimes you can hold it open with your hip and get the paper towel in the trash.. If not take it with you and leave it in the nearest garbage pail, or Put it in the plastic bag in your purse. (you DO have one don't you??!!)
BONUS WEIRDO TIPS.. tip 1 do all of the above with your purse on your shoulder Or hang it around your neck.. DON'T place it on the sink or on AnY thing in a public bathroom!! Also, don't lean your body on the sinks!
tip 2... Roll up your jeans before entering into the stall! this way they won't touch the floor when you pull down your pants! NEVER SIT! Always Hover and squat back (and please aim well) which is sometimes difficult if you have a purse around your neck and your coat hoisted up pushing your scarf up around your face. ( I hate when the hooks on the backs of the doors are missing) If you pee on the seat... You take enough toilet paper to totally cushion you from touching the bowl and wipe your mess up! ALWAYS FLUSH WITH YOUR FOOT!!
tip 3.. remember to unroll your jeans when you're all done going and before your wash up.. or Trust me! People look at you weirdly in the public bathroom (sometimes they look at me weirdly even when i Do remember to roll my pants legs down)
finally tip 4 If there are No paper towels in the bathroom, DO NOT bother using the sink with your bare hands.. instead resort to hand sanitizer which you should keep in your purse along with the baggie.
So there you have it.. I think I shouldn't reveal any more weird facts in one post. I didn't know where to begin but Now I know when I should end... Happy Hand Washing! Hope I've helped to keep you well all winter!