Monday, March 15, 2010

Did u ever?

Who knew I was feeling so hurt? It has been years since I dwelled on our lost friendship, Although fond memories of it do pop into my head at times. We started out just being two moms who had kids who loved to play together. With each play date, our friendship grew closer and closer. Soon the play dates with our two kids graduated into blended family functions, holidays and fun outings. I felt closer to you than to my own sister. As our kids grew they branched out and made more friends in their own schools, acquired different interests, desired to see each other less and less. I can't believe that that fact alone would sabotage the 'sister' hood that we had formed.

Apparently, it must have been me.. must have been something else that made it easy for you to stop treasuring a friendship that I thought we were so lucky to have found. I remember calling you weekly to chat and chat we did! but it soon dawned on me that you were never calling me anymore. So, I called less often. I'm proud of the fact that I'm pretty perceptive...I knew a 'brush off' when I felt one. I vowed to myself that I would stop calling and just see how long it would take for you to call me. The call never came. I'm not sure on the time frame.. but I am going to guess that about EIGHT years went by! I don't remember what sparked the impulse.. but I decided to call you one day.. We caught up on life, the kids, work. You sounded so truly happy to hear from me, promising to keep in touch. I am going to guess that conversation was about..... hmmm? I am thinking 2004?? Six years ago? I remember telling my husband that If you weren't being sincere, You deserved an academy award for your genuine enthusiasm and warmth!

I didn't feel as bad this time around when I never heard back from you, that is why I am so Surprised (and perturbed) at myself for feeling THIS wounded this week, when i got your request to be my friend on Facebook. I stared at your message and your image wondering if I should accept or ignore. I saw pictures of your beautiful children, who I had loved, all grown up.
I decided to sleep on it. I have to say, maybe I am being petty or overly sensitive, but I have decided to ignore this request. To me... your friend request is about 15 years late. You had a great friend, maybe you needed time to go by to realize how important that is, maybe you still haven't realized it. These 'friend' requests on Face book are commonly trivial and meaningless. After all this time... truly "friending' me, means picking up the phone or showing up at my door. Friending me on facebook... Feels SO hurtful and Confirms the fact that to you, I was merely the mother of your son's friend.


patti said...

Painful. Why is it such woman thing. My hub never questions his friends lack of action. I feel your pain and empathize. Been there.
You are a very gifted writer.

Giggles said...

Yes you are a gifted have so much love and kindness in your heart she's the real loser, not having you in her life. Seasons change, so do people....

Much love
and a big hug

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Her loss indeed..

Bone said...

Oh Lucy, I'm so sorry for the hurt this relationship has caused you.

As for your last few words about Facebook and friendships, I'll just say amen.

Forgetfulone said...

Painful, for sure. I always wonder why certain people friend me when we weren't even friends in real life wasy back when... not even acquaintances, and they want to friend me on FB? Seriously. But, maybe you'll take the high road, accept, and see where it goes, if anywhere.

Anonymous said...

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I hope that I'll learn and share a lot of interesting things.


Patois said...

Wow. You are so right on this one. So darn right.