Friday, May 21, 2010

Compassionate, Considerate FUN!

I'm seething... AGAIN. today I listened and welled up with tears and anger as yet AnOTHER incredibly wonderful woman sat and cried in my hair salon and told me how unhappy she is in her marriage. This 70 something year old woman is being verbally abused and taken for granted BIG TiME! Her husband sounds like a nasty, miserable bastard. He is ill and SHE takes care of HIM. Without divulging too much of her personal business, she does EVERYTHING for him. He is wheelchair bound and needs care in EVERY department. ( I'm divulging aren't I?)

This ungrateful louse should be kissing her ASS! (not calling her FATASS) I swear I can't even take how upset and angry I feel! He screams at her all day long, puts WAY too much pressure and stress on her, insults her, tells her he doesn't want friends dropping over. He listens on her phone calls or worse asks her for blow by blow details after she is done talking on the phone. I feel like she is in a place worse than prison. I'm also worried that SHE will drop dead before him from all this stress! Through our tears and hugs I had to confess to her, that even though I want her to feel she can always confide and unload on me, I have a deep DEEP hatred for this F*** and would like to go chop his cojones off! (At least this got her to have a hardy laugh) But I am serious, I want to kill this bastard. I tried to give her the best advice I could. (after all I'm only a hot blooded sicilian hairdresser) I told her to please see a therapist for her OWN health and sanity, I even recommended my friend who wrote that inspiring book on my side bar. I advised her also to constantly SPeAK up and STAND up to this piece of crap husband and PUT him in his place! (after all, it's not like she can't out run him if he gets super crazed). I finally suggested she push him down the stairs in his wheelchair, but she didn't think that would work since she lives in a ranch. She won't leave him, because NO one else would care for him and she loves her family and doesn't want to rock the boat. Paaa L E A S E! I hear this one a LOT! And I am so bothered by this too! We only Go around ONCE! WHY is she going around for everyone else's feelings and not hers?? I will tell u why... I see this a lot too! Many Women DO NOT value who they are! NO ONE sees their beauty and worth and wonderfulness. I see women each day with astounding qualities and it breaks my heart to hear how inferior they seem to think they are.
My friend just told me about a super book for women in the 2nd half of life called queen of your own life
I plan on picking up a copy and putting it in my waiting area. We women need to help each other value ourselves. Oh I am all pumped up and fuming and talking all big here aren't I?? but I am JUST as guilty for not TRULY valuing my own worth and gifts. My husband is constantly giving me genuine compliments, attempting to help build my self-esteem. After 30 years of this, I am doing much better than when we had first met.

Yesterday as we did our cool down in my zumba class the teacher got all Zen like on us and asked us to think of a quality we loved about ourselves and focus on that all day.
It was the first time she has done that and I am looking forward to having a chance to speak to her to tell her how much I loved that idea. I want to share with her how important I feel it is that women like us, who work predominantly with women, help them to value themselves. (We should also have access to the number of a good hit man)

If you've read this rant and ARE a woman yourself... PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT TELLING ME A FAVORITE QUALITY YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF. Hell, tell me even more than that if u want... tell me ALL about how wonderful YOU are! I put mine in the title!


Queen-Size funny bone said...

I was always taught that you put others before yourself otherwise you are selfish. Shit I have even contiplated ending this wonderful life I have except I can't figure out a way to do it without being inconsiderate to those around me. A idiot to the end.

Tammy Brierly said...

Lucy, I see a lot of this in ALS patients and/or caregivers. It's very sad especially when the patients are the ones getting the abuse. Your friend should put in a home and if family gives her crap, then let them take care of them.

I'm funny, strong and can spot a fake a mile away.

Giggles said...

The first time I read this I thought exactly the same as Tammy.Into a home for Mister grumpy pants. He has no place torturing people any longer. I hope this women finds a few years of peace before she goes. I understand your fury....SO SAD!!!

Well written Lucy!
Hugs Giggles