Saturday, February 02, 2008

Warning! barf bag not included with this post

As much as I Love participating in Sunday Scribblings each week, I was thinking of skipping this weeks prompt.
Foul really didn't inspire me or turn me on! Meg/ Lainis inspiration for 'foul' is a foul occurrence each night in my own home. My dogs are always wherever I am. No fail, EVERY night their gas that is hovering around my feet in not only foul it is down right explosive. But, I didn't want to repeat their 'foul' story. Then, my husband reminded me of a great 'foul' take on the prompt, our stinky ride in an open-air train car in PA. BUT, Rick over at MyrtleBeachramblings had a much more stinky experience with a similar 'foul' story.
So I drew blank and worked on my writers island post. Then it hit me... I have dealt with SO many foul experiences in my lifetime.... It is LIST time! Grab a waste-paper basket and pull up a chair.
-when your child overflows the toilet and doesn't call you till he is knee deep in "IT"
-when your husband runs downstairs to see the damage on the floor below the toilet and receives "IT" on his head
-Your college students Laundry hamper with two months of dirty clothes
-when you arrive in Mexico city, tired, hungry and not bilingual and they serve you a dish you just KNOW is steaming hot fresh dog poop on a plate.
-When your naked potty-training toddler runs past the potty seat and squats on the patio to poop (and then smiles and says "Im a dog!")
-Children with stomach viruses who don't conceive the concept of 'running to the toilet' when they need to throw up.
-when you come home from a weeks vacation where you had your 14 yr. old neighbor coming in your home multiple times daily to care for and let your pet out, only to come home and instantly SMELL that your dog has been misbehaving UP and DOWN your brand new carpeted steps and You realize-14 year old boys must not have a sense of smell, and Husbands can't clean up dog poop without vomiting.
-Dead Flowers (this smell really really sickens me)
-The baseball cap your 12 yr. old won't take off for weeks, when you finally steal it for the wash you need smelling salts
-When your baby discovers they can remove their own diaper and finger paint the entire nursery.
-When one dog vomits and the other decides to.....EAT IT
-Urine smelling up- hospitals, rest rooms, sidewalks, nursing homes, crib sheets and of course Diapers
-When clients have the kind of Bad BReath that smells like 10 dumpsters and refuse the mint you offer
-when you pop an entire ringding jr. in your mouth and discover millions of ants in the second one! (my husbands single days)
-Anything that goes rotten in the fridge ( especially Potatos!)
-EGGs and EGG salad- (and farts after eggs) ( after broccoli) (after shrimp!) (after husband throws quilt over your head!)
-Last but CERTAINLY not least, Being the unlucky nauseated one to clean up most of the above mentioned mess!

( bet you wish YOU skipped this post!)
If I forgot your foulest.... please add it to my list!


forgetfulone said...

Oh, I truly agree that dead flowers in a vase of water are foul and laundry that your college student brings home after sitting for three months is foul! I can relate to being the one who has to clean it up. How about when your dog poops blood? Happened to me about three weeks ago. That was foul!

Redness said...

Oh I wish you'd not done that ... my weak stomach can hardly bear another foul reminder!!! It was an excellent writing idea tho ;~)

paisley said...

girl... i cannot believe you could even think of that many nasty things to list... and here i thought you live was all love and flowers and sunshine!!!!!

giggles said...

Well I don't think you can get more REAL than that. A truly honest take on foul! Funny stuff to eat breakfast too!! Great diet material....loved the little boy thing,,,,," look I'm a dog" Hilarious...I'm sending a friend who can totally relate to this post!

Hugs Giggles

Remiman said...

You covered most of the household fouls, but I think after I come back from breakfast I might be able to SKUNK ya. ;)
Great post kiddo!

GreenishLady said...

I chose not to do it this week, but what am I doing? Reading these? Your list seems very complete to me!

Deirdre said...

Hmm. Spoken (written) like a well-seasoned mother of boys. LOL

I got a little queasy - too early in the day for my stomach to consider anything foul.

myrtle beached whale said...

Oh my god. Your everyday life is like driving behind a honey wagon. Great post. I am still laughing about the client refusing the mint. I had a co-worker like that. And he was a close-talker (my day is not complete without a Seinfeld reference).

tumblewords said...

Quite frankly, I can't think of a thing foul you missed! Great post with humor and yuck!!

keith hillman said...

That was the foulest of the foul! As for the 'Dutch Oven' - quilt over head following expelation of stinky gasses- quite disgusting! I would never do that to a lady.

~Michelle~ said...

Oh what a wonderfully nasty list! I don't know much about the diapers yet, but soon will! However certainly know where you are coming from with the dog toots and dead flowers in a vase - ick!

latree said...

you've written them all!!

anthonynorth said...

Your list may be foul, but many of them are also pretty normal.
Now that's foul.

Tammy said...

You rocked this prompt Lucy!

I'll add when your dog finds the cat box behind your back and then plants a wet one on your face!


daisies said...

hee hee ... you crack me up ... oh my the foulness abounds ... :)

UL said...

yucky foul indeed..but you say it so well..of course in a foul manner :)

Robin said...

Dear god that is vile... I have to admit that the pooping on the patio and claiming he's a dog one cracked me up.

spider said...

Let's see...I can add, as a spinner, that the WORST smell I've ever encountered was someone's dog fiber (where the dog had not been washed before harvesting the fur) that had been stored in an unbreathable, plastic zip-lock bag. When I opened the bag, the smell permeated the house and had us all gagging.

Then, as a natural dyer, there's the ever-raunchy indigo urine vat. And how about a mushroom immersion bath that had been fermenting for a few weeks? It's beyond awful.

And yes, we too have been rained upon on the floor below the over-stuffed toilet. Great fun. Chris thought this was a unique experience...will have to break the news that it happened at your home, as well. Lucky us.

LittleWing said...

oh lucy that was absolutely hilarious... as a dog/cats owner i can relate... vomit... you've pretty much covered all your basis... and the poop bit... not sure which one is the most hilarious... i think it was the one abt the child pooping on the patio and saying im a dog... now that i cracked up... thanks for the laughs...