Tuesday, March 10, 2009

first response?? Somebody shoot me!


I haven't been as scared as I was this morning... In a very long time. Last night I bought my very first over the counter pregnancy test. I guess this explains the nightmares I had in the last two posts! I just haven't been feeling too well lately. I kept chalking it up to that bitch Peri. But after speaking to a nurse at my gynecologists office about my dear departed friend, and then Her telling me that all my hormone levels from a recent blood test were normal, I started to sweat. When I told the nurse that I am also bloated and have sore boobs and cry at the drop of a pin.. She made that little noise....u know the one? Like she was sucking in the side of her mouth? I said... Are u thinking what I am thinking??".... She said, well it wouldn't hurt to buy a pregnancy test. I said... I am turning FIFTY in a few months! I may as well buy a freaking gun too!!
Last night poor Mr. Petals looked a funny shade of puce with green circles under his eyes and just like a cartoon he had hypnotic circles dancing IN his eyes. I decided to torture the poor bastard a little longer and wait till the morning for, eh hmm, a stronger test solution! (procrastination is a dead woman's best friend) My doctor called me back this morning and woke me from a comatose sleep. She asked if I did the test yet. I told her that I didn't 'go' yet and the thought of positive results were just paralyzing me.. She said DO the test, I just KNoW it will be negative.. She then went on to tell me WHY she believes I AM in Peri-menopause and all my symptoms were normal for that stage... ( I also discovered, stupid me, I had been talking to a receptionist last night, NOT a nurse). THank GOd, My doc was right! only ONE little pink line appeared in the tiny window. ( these little tests would be so damn cute if they weren't so fucking terrifying.) I am feeling like a tight rope has been released from my wind pipe! my second response? twin beds!

10 comments:

Lori Anderson Designs said...

Holy crap woman! Eek! That would've made me freak out a bit, too!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

SNIP SNIP....
glad it worked out the way you wanted it.

forgetfulone said...

I would just die if I were pregnant at 43! The way you put things is so priceless!

Deirdre said...

I'm only a year behind you and have been having the same damn symptoms. I don't even bother taking a test anymore.

Akelamalu said...

OH CRIKEY I felt your fear! :0

Tammy said...

LMAO Youu can tell a funny story like no other. Your visual of hubby got me. I guess it's the bitch after all. LOL

Jay said...

Oh my ... yeah, that would freak me out too! Good Lord! I can't imagine.

My mother had a friend who had this nightmare come true. At fifty, she was once more pushing a pram, and sadly, the child was a Down's baby. Apparently genetic problems are more likely as you age .. She loved her anyway, of course, but there was no restful retirement for her.

Simply-Mel said...

Oh my shattered nerves. This post made ME SWEAT, can only imagine your utter angst!!!

Giggles said...

PHEW....Bryan mom had one at this age, her tenth....imagine....no don't bother it might give you a heart attack!! Too Scary for Sherrie!!
Giant hugs for this one, and a big squeeze too...that's a rough day!

Patois said...

With a c-section for my final surprise, I got myself spayed. Phew!