I am remembering that it wasn't too long ago when I had the passing thought that my future would Definitely contain some 'minor appearance adjustments'. Back then when I looked in the mirror and saw new little crows feet dancing around my eyes I thought.. NO WAY do I want to become all wrinkly and old looking! I mentioned it jokingly to my eldest who was probably only in high school at that time. I yelled.. "Start saving up for my surgery!!" Well, my surprisingly wise young son looked at me with his serious strong handsome face and more Like a Parent enlightening a child, he said to me.. "Mom, Every line around your eyes show all the times you've laughed in your life, Why in the world would you want to erase that reminder?" I hugged him and told him how brilliant he was and I never forgot those beautiful words and his beautifully heartfelt theory.
Fast forward a few years as I watched a very close friend make a 360 degree turn in not only her appearance but her entire attitude. I guess this was her way of handling aging. I tried so hard to be supportive of the "NEW Her", and was feeling so damn guilty and sad when our friendship died. Until, once again.. The wise words of that same son.. "mom, YOU are still the same person you were when u met her.. SHE did all the changing. If you would have met her the way her personality is today, you would have Never befriended her, right? So,move on and forget feeling guilty! I listened and moved on and am not guilty anymore, but I still can't help missing the 'old her', the friend who wasn't just totally obsessed with keeping herself youthful.
I've always felt that aging is a precious gift. I lost a dear friend to breast cancer at the tragically young age of 37. She left two young children behind. Had she been graced with a choice, I will Bet you Anything, she would have chosen growing older, no matter how many wrinkles, aches and pains, were part of that package. With each passing year and each additional wrinkle to mark each year also comes an additional indentation of wisdom. As I am growing older I feel like I am absorbing, valuing and appreciating the tiny blessings that I overlooked in my youth. The feelings of awareness, self confidence and freedom from insecurities are also rewardingly blissful. Certainly worth exchanging for some saggy, wrinkly outer skin. After all, that IS all that is.. your outer covering. If we could be turned inside-out, I think we would see that the older a person is lucky enough to grow,the more radiantly beautiful their hearts and souls become.
So I am opting out of any ideas of changing my outer skin, instead I am hoping to enjoy aging for a long, albeit wrinkly time. keeping a young attitude in mind but developing an exceedingly old, sparklingly enlightened, heart and soul. (as well as improving my computer skills!!)
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