Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Brain Fog

I swear my family is trying to gaslight me.
Have you ever seen this suspenseful 1944 film? Ingrid Bergman is being driven crazy by her evil husband (charles Boyer). He tricks her into thinking that she is forgetting everything. ( btw.. It is amazing How much Ingrid Bergman looks like Debra Messing) I am either being 'gas-lighted' by my family or I am really going cuckoo.
Last week I had bought dried apricots and Medaglia D'Oro Caff' ( I love adding a few TBsP of espresso in with my regular ground coffee (and cinnamon) Anyway.. I go to eat an apricot and they are already opened. I ask my older son (the only other apricot lover) He claims he never opened it. I assume someone in the store tampered with them, No way will I eat them. Then yesterday I go to use the coffee and IT'S OPENED ALREADY TOO! Again, everyone claims they didn't open it. Considering it takes a can opener to open this item, I really doubt it was tampered with in the store. My husband ( Boyer in disguise) claims I am so forgetful that I opened it and forgot. (I could swear he even sounded like Boyer when he said this!) This is one example of them gas-lighting me. I know I am in perimenopause and have been more forgetful lately, but I KNOW I would remember taking out the electric can opener and opening that freaking coffee! At what point should we consider being forgetful serious enough to look into? I am going to be 49 this August, Can I really be experiencing the beginnings of Alzheimer's already? It is a terrifying thought. Years ago a wise friend told me. "You are like a Christmas tree with way too many ornaments on you. Take OFF some ornaments/ balls and give them to your children". I listened to her, and gave more of my chores to my boys. Lately, However, I am right back to my old habits of doing E V E R Y T H I N G! I feel so overwhelmed at times. My mind is full of all the things I need to accomplish. It also holds lists, doctors appt.'s to keep and make, Who needs what script called in, Birthdays, anniversarys,The families schedule, The names of all my clients, their spouses and kids and EVEN their grandkids names! For goodness sakes, No wonder I can't remember Apricots and coffee. Maybe I'm not being brainwashed or having Alzheimer's, maybe my little brains inbox is full and I need to torridly delete any junk that is taking up valuable space. I think I am going to invent a way to wear my pen and pad around my neck like people do with their glasses. This way, I can jot down Anything that pops in my head and free my brains branches of burdensome balls of bullshit. ( hey.. try to say that 3 times fast!)



Deirdre said...

Oh, me too! If it's not written down it doesn't get done or remembered. The list is my best friend. I used to feel bad that I had to make lists, then one day I realized that the most successful people I know not only make lists, they carry them everywhere.

I'm just a year behind you and sometimes worry about the whole memory thing too.

giggles said...

Did I forget to mention the dust bunnies in the brain....oh sorry bout that! Yes I'd delete the majority of the program, just keep the necessities. It's not going to get better for a while....as you read in my scribble. Oh and learn the word designate, designate, designate!!! Try a new strategy to get them to help. Just be unavailable....oh and you know what really helps....just lower your standards a notch....best thing I ever did!

Big big Sher hug from Canada
Another alternative....you can run away to my house!

paisley said...

i have had one sucj episode in recent months. i found a few printed pages of my poetry on the front porch... i have no clue how they got there or whay or when i printed out those particular poems... none... and i live alone with two dogs!!! so i know no one but me could have done it!!! not only that but both my great gran and my gran died with alzheimers!!! so girl... you are not alone... maybe your family is playing with you.. but if not,, join the club!!!!!

and i am an old movie fanatic!!! i just watched gas light this past week!!!!!

tumblewords said...

I have a friend, a famous poet/editor, who wears a fancy little memo pad and tiny pen on a lovely chain - and what's more, she uses it! My granddaughter called when she was in her early teens and told me she'd put the cheerios in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard - wondered if she should be worried. LOL It just happens. Nice post!

myrtle beached whale said...

Though my chronic combative and complex character is not conducive to caring or containing the capacity for concern and I have about as much chance of a career as a competent crisis counselor as a chick with a c-cup becoming a centerfold or a Caholic church congregation and clergy charishing condoms or canceling Christmas, Catechism, confession, or child molesting, I can contribute constructive criticism concerning your current crisis.
Converting cravings for coffee containing caffein comparable to consuming crackpipe contamination to cathartic cereal (cheerios, captain crunch containing crunchberries, cocoa crispies, cocoa puffs, corn flakes, cocoa pebbles, cookie crisp, corn chex, crispy critters, cream of wheat, or cracklin' bran) could change the complexion of your circumstances and clense your colon canceling crippling constipation and circumventing celiac cancer and collateral complications. Crap, can't continue to communicate, candy assed Canadian caucasion cohabitating condo cretins contemplating coming to call. C-ya.

daisies said...

burdensome balls of bullshit ~ tee hee, love it!! my memory is right there with you and i am sure it is because i cram too much useless information in, all the spam is clogging up my pathways.


she so does look like debra messing!!