Do you remember that 'curb your enthusiasm' episode, where Larry David had a doctors app't at a specific time, but the office took patients in the order of who signs in first?? I love that show because He shows the stuff that happens to me ALL the time, and He makes me feel I am Not alone for getting peeved at this stuff. It's one of the reasons, Seinfeld is my favorite show too.
My day today contained 2 more scenarios, PeRRRfect for Larry's next season of CYE.
My husband had a 2 pm Dr.'s app't to have the Smoke Cessation procedure but first we had errands to do. Our first stop this morning.. The Library, to return books and a movie and Pick up books on hold. My husband is waiting outside in the car. NO one is at the counter so I walk right up. The librarian sees me waiting. I have my card out and my books out of my cute bag and ON the counter. She doesn't acknowledge me with a "be right there" just eye contact. AS she walks towards me, she veers off and becomes obsessed with a fan that's oscillating . She wants this fan to stand still. Apparently, The movement didn't bother her until she sees me! So she is talking to another woman down the other end of the other counter... she is saying.. "I wish I could make this fan stand still". I felt like I was in a freaking candid camera episode. She FINALLY comes to me, checks IN my stuff and she observes that the movie I returned was ON Hold for a library employee next so she STOPS checking me in and turns to look for Betty.. "BEtty, Betty.. LOOK you get to see the bucket list tonight!" Then she needs to walk away to get the new books that are on hold. I sWEAR I am NOT making ANY of this up...AS soon as she turns away from me...Instead of walking to the shelf where held books are.... She STARTS messing with the FAN again!! Is It just me? or is this just ridiculously inconsiderate?? It's also another example of me being TOO nice! LARRY wouldn't have just stood there right?? What I love about him is He SAYS the things I am thinking but feel would be too forward to say. He may have said 'Don't you think you can help me first, and fuck around with that fan on your own time?? That's what I felt like saying! FInally I get to leave the library and the wacky fan lady.
NeXT STOP- home depot. After waiting on a short line for only about 5 minutes, It's my turn! Wow! this is too good to be true! NOT! AS Soon as she scans my item, The cashier next to her ( who is helping the guy who wAS BEHIND me on line) Is needing my clerks help for every freaking button he needs to push. She no sooner goes back to my return and another employee needs paper work from my girls tool belt thingy. WE are ALMOST getting there (of course the other guy is already done) Just as she is ready to count out my money? HeR PHONE rings! I didn't do a Larry but I did mumble vaffanculo under my breath.(I am not bilingual, I just know a few italian curses) The rest of the errands went fine UNTIL at 1:50 when we arrived at the dr.s for his 2 pm appointment, He signed in AFTER a woman who wrote 2:20 on the sign-in sheet as her appointment time. YEP... they took her in first! Like Larry argued- WHAT is the point of the appointment if it's on a fist come first serve basis?? Shouldn't they say... Come in when ever you want, sign in and wait?? (After all, As Jerry has said- 'That's why they call it the waiting room.") So, tell me please... What DO YOU say in these types of situations?? Are you a patient waiter? do you speak your mind?? Or are you A seether who mumbles?
Here are some other fun italian words for you in case YOU are the latter and need to mumble something subtle under your breath-
'stronzo', 'Bastardo', 'puttanesco', 'rompicoglioni', 'figlio di puttana'= They sound so lovely, No? translation?
turd ,bastard ,whore, pain in the ass and of course the ever popular 'Son of a bitch.'
1 hour ago