my guys

Forever I carry you everywhere

I carry your joys, worries and fears
I carry your opinions, beliefs, ideas
Dreams wished for or wishes broken
Sometimes shared sometimes unspoken
I carry your heart aches and pain
disappointments that remain
I carry your achievements and wins
hearty laughs, devilish grins
I carry your humorous punk pranks
your thoughtfulness, sweet-thanks
I carry your love and kisses on cheek
your quirky ways & moody streaks
I carry memories of your childhood lives
along with visions of your prospective wives
I carry muted prayers for your future years
lavish with health & happiness, short on tears
I carry the memory of each precious birth
As I will you pride, strength, self-worth
I carry my eternal thanks to heaven above
For granting me the weight of unconditional love
Three sons I shall love from their infancy till I depart
Three sons I treasure carrying forever in my heart

sunday scribblings

headache haiku

Three word wednesday
Fracture
Noise
Vanish

My spirit fractured
Queasy from sight noise and sound
Migraine PLEASE vanish

Grow up!

sunday scribblings asks...What are your thoughts on adulthood? What do you want to be when you grow up? Are you scared of being an adult? Have you been forced to be the adult in a relationship? Do you have an adult child who won't grow up? Are you glad to finally be an adult? What do you think?
I think.. I will try to answer all of these colorful questions...

my thoughts on adulthood?? Adulthood is over rated! When we are kids we can't wait to grow up. I wished most of my childhood away just aching to be an adult, be in charge of my own life, my future, my decisions, my freedom. But when I look back, I was really forced at a ridiculously early age to do most of those things and ironically I was acting more adult at 8 years old than most adults do at 28. Yet the wishing continued and before I knew what had happened I was an adult in the eyeballs of society and up to my eyeballs in responsibilities. (be careful what u wish for?) ABSO-freaking-LUTELY!

What do I want to be when I grow up? Gee.. I just turned 50 but I am still working on that one!
that 8 year old couldn't wait to be a mama.. This mama loves being a mama and a hairstylist. But I feel like I am still growing and I still want to try my hand (or should I say FEET) at something more. I signed up for that workshop to learn how to be a zumba instructor. I am excited and a little nervous at this prospect. I've always had a passion for dancing... but I think my ultimate answer to this one would be .... happy and peaceful.. I just want to be happy and peaceful AS I CONTINUE to grow up.

Am I scared of being an adult? Not any more. Now I am more scared for my adult sons. I find myself worrying constantly. About their safety, their decisions, their disappointments and heartaches. I used to always put up the following Elizabeth Stone quote as an away message when i used to use AIM... EVERY parent will relate... "making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body"

Have I been forced to be the adult in a relationship? not at all! Although my husband and I share in all the adult responsibilities of our lives... Often (and I am so happy about this) He takes the roll of nurturer with me. I put up a fuss protesting his pampering and his treating me as if I am a 'delicate flower'***(see note below) .. but he knows I really like it, and need it and I know that he knows about that 8 yr. old acting like an adult portion of my life, so i know it all comes from loving me and wanting to compensate for the time when he wishes I would have been properly pampered. (did this make sense??) *** I remember seeing a tv show years ago.. where a husband so beautifully talked about how every relationship has you either being the gardener or the flower. I think it is true.. Most couples I know, it always seems the woman is the gardener, constantly tending to her flowers needs.

Do I have an adult child who won't grow up?
instead of saying NO COMMENT.. I will instead just say... I think times have really changed and young adults seem to be a bit slower at growing up than young adults in my day. And this goes back to the yellow question... Growing up and being an adult is pretty scary!

Am I glad to finally be an adult? 'finally' doesn't really apply to me, but YES I am happy to be an adult, Would be even happier to be a YOUNG adult all over again, but am just counting my blessings that I am not yet living in an adult home or living with an adulterer and have no plans on becoming an adulteress! Just an ordinary adult who sometimes acts very immature and is trying to just have lots of fun in her second act! :)

The Feast of St. Lucia!

It's been a birthday, vacation,whirlwind week! My friend tonight said it well... it's the Feast of Saint Lucia! I really like that! We've sure done enough eating to call it a feast.
My 50th birthday was on monday. I had been feeling a little overwhelmed by this surreal number, but as the amazing love poured in from my friends, family and even my clients.. The 'number' started becoming less and less relevant and the warmth and love I felt surrounding me became my focus and my greatest joy. I received so many moving cards and beautiful gifts and phone calls. I can't even express how much I appreciate all these thoughts! I received 3 flower deliveries! I lined them up on my table for a picture to show you and thought... Gee it smells like a funeral parlor in here..Maybe people are thinking I'm 50, i must be dying!! but No no no! I pushed that thought OUT of my wacky head.

The celebrating started last month when Mr. Petals gave me an early present.. my little ipod touch.
At first I thought I wasn't technologically engineered correctly to learn how to use it.
But after a friend walked me through it a bit.. it has become my new favorite toy.
I downloaded the scrabble app ( there's a tech term! it's short for application!!)
and now I can play facebook scrabble(which I may be hooked on) OUTSIDE in the sunshine!
(I recently compared the internet to running water and Mr. Petals is worried that he may have made a mistake with this gift!)
Since Saturday, we've enjoyed many dinners, much laughter, and CAKE!! Oh my! I think previously, I may have been cake deprived, because I can't seem to get enough CAKE!!
Whipped creme cakes, pound cakes, Peach pies, chocolate cake, and tonight at book club... cheese cake and crumb cake! YUMMM!

The best part of this week.. It's only Wednesday! Tomorrow my sweet Cara mia Carol is taking me out for a special italian lunch date! Then, in the evening it's off to the movies! On friday i am hoping to go BAcK to the beach. On Saturday we have a dear friends daughters wedding! Sunday we will be with other special friends and my vacation will sadly come to an end.. HOWEVER! the feast will continue in September when we celebrate with the theater tickets friends gave me to see Bye Bye Birdie on broadway!(with cutie pie John Stamos) As well as dinner in the city too! Also in September Mr. Petals and I are seeing one of our favorite bands.. Rusted root!
So you see that?! 50 is incredible! It's not so scary after all and it's FUN! and FUN is what I am all about at 50! I just want to have lot's of FUN!!
(if u read this whole spiel.. Thanks for listening!)

another haiku

The three word wednesday words are:
decay
graceful
riot

Once Graceful dancer

reflects as old joints decay

Thoughts run riot. heal.

The honour of your presence is requested at Lucy's fantasy dinner party!

I have imagined many fantasy dinner parties sunday scribblers! Usually these fantasies don't have SEVEN guests or revolve much around the dinner, so I am choosing to tell you about One dinner party that YOU are going to wish had an extra table setting for you.
My dinner party would be very casual. We would probably gather on pillows on the floor around a large glass coffee table with various candles and colorful dinnerware. I will be serving...(well.. wait... this is a fantasy right?? I will have my cabana boy.. Hugh Jackman serving dinner) He doesn't count as one of my seven guests because he is the help ( and part of another fantasy!)
The first to arrive will be Bjork. She will bring her uniqueness and probably some Icelandic dessert that will look like a beautiful swan but taste a bit unusual. Next to arrive will be Cyndi (Lauper)... She will make a noisy entrance as she shows her true colors... her Fun personality along with some homemade brownies. Billie (holiday) will be right behind her.. Bringing me a bouquet of gardenias as her haunting sultry voice thanks me for getting her a night away from her lover man.
We will all shine on when John Lennon walks through the door, he brings with him an aura of peace and puts us all in a more relaxed mood. He also brings my favorite red wine and I imagine I will sit him right to my right.
Freddy( mercury) has given Judy (garland) a ride, and they walk in together with energy and spirit AND a trail of groupie fat bottomed girls? ( hugh escorts the girls to the pool to chill)
We all begin noshing on grilled veggies and artichokes oreganata, chick pea salad, shrimp and lobster cocktail, delicious wines... Their voices begin to break out with song . I am swooning and goose bumped from the harmony of all my favorite talented singers. WaIT.. I stop swaying to their voices and sipping my wine to ask Hugh... Gee... why hasn't Jerry arrived yet? I hope he is okay... No sooner than me asking hugh (who btw, is wearing only a bow-tie on his sexy neck and an apron around his chiseled waist)
The door bell rings and IN walks Jerry Seinfeld... (yes I know he doesn't sing but I adore him)....
and he says.. Did u ever notice... how You can measure distance by time. "How far away is it?" "Oh about 20 minutes." But it doesn't work the other way. "When do you get off work?" "Around 3 miles." I'm Sorry I'm late... but your invitation with your address flew out my car window on the l.i.e.(long island expressway)! hey.. I brought you some NON fat frozen yogurt and Soup!

There u have it!
this was a fun one girls! Congrats to Laini!

What's new is quite old

Congratulations to sunday scribblings host Laini! She is about to have a NEW baby!
so.. NEW is the prompt for the week


So, what is New here in the petals residence?! WHEWwwww I can't even believe I am sharing this, but I just have to share it, because I just heard it and I still can't believe it and It is NEWS to me and I don't know whether I should be pissed or amused or REALLY pissed!
As mr. petals (notice I didn't capitalize the m in mr or the p in petals tonight) and I were having a wonderful soak in the hot tub and talking about this and that... THIS NEW information was revealed to me after being married to this man for nearly TWENTY NINE YEARS! Ends up, there was a woman he was MADLY in love with before he met me!! Now.. I knew he had been WAY around the block before I came along... I mean maybe...WAY around the neighborhood would be a better description. (or town? no... PLANET!) way around the planet is fitting! I've heard many tales about many women which have made me upset but I fought my emotions from bubbling over because it was just 'meaningless sex'. (apparently many can put those two words together, I never could.) (and also 'cause i always Coerce him into telling me, so I can't show I am upset!!) But THIS NEW revelation!! Holy shit! I mean what is a woman suppose to do with this information?! mr petals doesn't read my blog.. but I would feel like a creep, if I were to disclose any more of the UN F**#ING BELIEVABLE details of this relationship he was involved in. What I can't help wondering deep in my heart.. WHY? Why didn't he ever share this? I WILL TELL YOU WHY!! Because.. She affected him THAT much! That's why!! Why else would this have NOT come out early on in our dating?? And then there was planning a wedding for a year.. ya THINK maybe that would have been a good time to tell someone who is committing to spend the rest of their lives with you that You've already experienced being madly in love??

Of course he is denying today that he was madly in love with her..
denying that THAT was the reason this was never discussed... But I Am a WoMAN!! I Know!!
I know EVERYThing! I know about emotions! and feelings! and covert affairs! and scheming deception! and Silence speaking VOlumES!!! I know this is going to haunt me for a very long time. I also know I will need to drop this with mr. petals. (or he may never confess any other secrets!!) This man has devoted himself to loving me for over 30 years and I KNOW like I know my own heart... that he has been undeniably faithful and madly in love with me. So why then does this news have my stomach feeling like there is a spin cycle going on inside of it, pushing sudsy bubbles into my throat and heated FURY into my pulsing veins?? Why then do i feel so betrayed? Cheated on! Misled! Deceived! Can someone help me clarify why I am such a lunatic. OR AM i crazy to feel so distressed? Maybe I am not crazy and should go kill the bastard right now?? I am open for suggestions!! (not on how to kill him, I'm sicilian...THAT i can handle)

NaBloSoFroDraWe

Since my blogging has been off a bit lately (due to my brain being a bit off).. I've decided to follow my friend bones lead and dig down into the bowels of my draft bin to post a post that might otherwise have Not been posted! (if you are kind enough to read it, you'll know why)
Bone has officially named this commencement
NaBloSoFroDraWe 2009
which stands for National Blog something from drafts week! You are brilliant Mr.Bone!
So here is one of my least awful posts from that bin. Good thing I don't clean up my clutter, or i may have deleted them all!

Once upon a time(about 11 years ago) an adorable, curly haired little boy, so badly wanted a beautiful bright blue beta fish. He asked for one everyday. Soon his wish was granted! He quietly watched it swim in its bowl everyday. Everyday, he carefully fed it just the right amount of stinky fish food. He named his treasured fish 'fish'. One day while the little boy was out shopping with his mom, His very adorable but finicky dad, decided to clean fishes bowl. Being a bit of a perfectionist, Mr Finicky Petals decided that soap and water didn't work well enough. He brilliantly decided to go down to the laundry room ( where he is forbidden to go by Mrs. Petals for washing her bras with his dirty paint clothes) and get the Giant bottle of clorax. Fish swam around in a paper cup nearby as Mr. Petals got fishes bowl immaculately clean and smelling fresher than the day it was bought. Knowing how delicate fish like fish were, Mr. Petals knew he had to rinse rinse rinse it very well before putting fish back into that bowl.
After all that careful attention to rinsing.... It came as Quite a surprise to Mr. Petals when he plopped fish back in his spotless bowl, that he instantly turned from bright beautiful blue to pale light blue to laying upside down at the top of the bowl!! HOrriFiED! Mr. Petals quickly flushed fish and put the bowl out of sight, hoping his sweet sensitive little boy wouldn't notice too quickly. When curly head came home, Mr petals would get his second surprise of the day.. Curly wasn't as sad as he was ANGry! AFter much sensitive talking to curly head and promises of a new beautiful blue fish... It was finally revealed... THE FLUSH was the reason The adorable little (sadistic? ) child had wanted a fish in the first place. Apparently he saw THE FLUSH on a tv sitcom and THAT is what caused his desire to own a little fish! He wasn't sad that fish had passed away... but angry that HE didn't get to send him off down the toilet to his final resting place! He was waiting for THAT grand moment! Since then, we haven't let another little fish come here to die.. and Mr. Petals is banned again from going near the laundry room AND the big bottle of clorax.

zumba

A few posts ago I wrote about wanting to try to do something more with my life. I wrote about wanting to have more fun. Thanks to the encouragement of my family, friends and all my sweet blog friends who left comments to me to... GO FOR It! I am Going!! I actually signed up for a zumba workshop to become a certified instructor! I am planing on taking this one step at a time. Right now I can't imagine having the va va voom to actually be a teacher but i know I do have the za za zoom to zumba all day and learn what it takes! So on September 12th, Lucy won't be behind the haircutting chair snip snip snipping as she normally would be... Nope.. She will be on the dance floor (most likely grip grip gripping her chest and needing an inhaler) but also...
most likely... having Fun!
check out one of many zumba dance routines....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf0q6qtThF4

( i wish someone could help teach me to 'share' the youtube
on my blog... I am signed up and hit share but it never appears!)

anticipating my golden years..

visit QUALITY posts over at sundayscribblings