Monday, February 15, 2010

Moms will be Moms

In my last post I wrote about my middle son having surgery. Well.. tomorrow it's time for the eldest one to stress out his poor old mom. He is going in for knee surgery. Ooooh wait... Olympics has the ice skating on! My fav! brb...
Wow! that was gorgeous!
anyway... Do Moms Ever catch a break? My mom will be 81 this year. Thank-god she is doing very well, but BOY can she worry! When she worries, she has a way of bringing out the ABsoLUTE worst in me! and BOY does that make me feel so guilty! Do moms EVEr NOT feel guilty? Guilty when we are too tough! Guilty when we are too nurturing! Guilty we didn't do enough! Guilty we did so much we were enabling! Sheeeeesh ! its the toughest job in the world!
Back to MY mom... She will leave these RIDICULOUS worry-filled messages on my machine, when she knows something is going on over here.. (actually even when NOTHING is going on and she is just imagining that I may be having a rough time, because it seems like a long time since she's heard from me!! (a few days)
And if I dont' get back to her in what she considers a reasonable amount of time...The NEXT message (ONE hour later) is down right nasty and sarcastic! "LU.. IS something going wrong and you just don't want to tell me??!!! I don't like this!!! I am WORRIED!! I know you're busy.. but My god, you can't be THAT bust that you can't JUST call you mother and let me know everyone is okay!!! IT's not fair that I should worry like this!! CALL ME!!"
Of course when you are stressed out with kids with surgery or the other millions of things that stress you out or you're just having a ridiculously busy work day... the LAST thing you have time for is to stop and Call a crazy woman! Recently, she left THREE crazy messages before I had the time to pick up the phone.. Of course when I did....OOOOOHHH there was SMOKE coming out of my ears And fire from my sassy mouth! (I let her know that the pressure she is putting on my with these calls is adding MORE stress to my life and she has to STOP panicking that something is wrong! "If something is wrong, You will be The FIRST person I tell! Okay?!!! Stop screaming on my machine!!!)"
Then the guilt hits me. HARD! My poor mom is 81! I am so so lucky that she is still kicking, especially when so many friends I know have lost their moms at a much younger age. So would you like to Know what's going to happen next?.... I can tell you, because We go back and forth like this so often! It's a predictable dance, But a Dance that seems to be working to keep our relationship in tact.... I won't get a message from her for a long time. I will have to do the calling. When she finally leaves a message, she will be talking much slower than normal,
and she will say something sarcastic like this ... Lu? I'm sorry to call you.I know you don't want me leaving messages. I Know I must be bothering you. Your SO busy all the time, but I just wanted to tell you something.. do u think it would be too much trouble for you to call me?....
(the dance continues) ...

I call her back and TRY patiently to say something like " MOM... You KNOW u can Always call me! I WANT you to! It's the way you Yell and Panic and demand I call you right back, that makes me stressed and Angry! For goodness sakes, Just make a NORMAL caring phone call!! (this is my favorite part of our choreography!) For many calls afterwards I get these type of messages (I call them the SYbil calls because I just know this Is NOT my real mother) Mom becomes all sweet and loving and talks much quieter than her normal 'Screaming Brooklyn' tone. She lengthens all her words. For instance, sweet heart becomes Sweeeet hearrrrt.... I get messages like this one...(try to read it the way she says it) "Hi sweetheart, I am just thinking about you, DOn'T worry, BE happy! (soft giggles) if you're busy you don't have to call me back... I just want to say ...Love u! Tell the kids I love them tooooo! (and she usually not only lengthens but sings the ...goooood -byIIIIee) I can never call her TOO soon after I listen to the Sybil messages, because it takes me a while to contain my laughter!

How mean do I sound!!?? This was not intended to be a post where I crucify my little old mommy!!! On the contrary! I am beating myself up for not being even MORE patient with her.
When i feel guilty like this I try to do real nice things for her. When she called me to Thank me for the Valentines card she reminded me that I had written in it...
"To my Sweetheart"... BOY did that make her day!! She said 'LU! I'M YOUR SWEETHEART?? AWWW THAT WAS SO NICE"! I must have been feeling some guilt when I wrote out that card!
Either that or we were in the Sybil part of our tango.

So tomorrow as I take my son for surgery and probably say things to him, that I interpret as loving and helpful, and he interprets as annoying and ridiculous... I'll feel worried, I'll feel guilty, and I'll HOPE LIKE HELL THAT MY SON KNOWS HOW TO DANCE!
(OH! AND I will remember to CaLL MOM and let her know how he is doing!)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Happy Valentines Day Blog buddies!

Yesterday I had such a stressful day! My 23 year old son went in for minor surgery, but let's face it... if you're having anesthesia.. NO surgery is minor.. I was a WRECK! It's not something you plan or expect on being, but any Momma out there knows, You worry over your kids! No matter their age!
Having had 3 sons, Trust me when I tell you, I've been through many injuries and broken bones and surgeries. BUT..You never get immune to it all. Each time I find myself totally spent when all is said and done. To make it even more stressful, I had promised long time clients I would do their hair later on in the day, a promise I made BEFORE he had the date for surgery and a promise I felt bad to cancel, since they were going on vacation. (always trying to be the good business woman). After the clients, I felt that maternal need to make my son his favorite dinner.Which meant a trip to the grocery store! When we finally were done with cooking and dinner and he was feeling okay and settled in... My husband and I then had to attend a wake for a friends Mom. When I finally came home, I thought I was going to just collapse in my bed. BUT.. my sweet, recuperating son Asked us to watch INglorious Basterds with him. So we settled down in our comfy Den with two of our kids and watched the film.. I was SO surprised by how much I loved this movie! Only Tarantino can make you laugh and cringe at the same time! I thought Bradd Pitt did an amazing job!

Today, the patient is doing so much better than I expected he would. The doc told me he was going to be in Lots of pain. Thankfully, he isn't! I was so busy at work today, I would have felt awful if he was in pain and I was at work. One of the highlights of my day today.. was when one of my ladies, who I love so much, brought me a MeATbaLL! (I'm always telling my family.. that I don't get enough meatballs in my life!) She was so cute, she had just made them and it was still hot! I was so busy all day, and knew I wouldn't get time for lunch. ThAT meatball REALLY hit the spot! It was a florentine meatball, a recipe she got from Rachel Ray.. that I WILL defintily be making for tomorrows dinner! Later in the day, Another client kept asking what my husband was getting me for Valentines day.. I explained to her that we weren't exchanging gifts this year. She kept saying...OH No! He WILL get you a'll see... (she is in her 70's and very sweet).. I said.. No,Angie.. I will be mad at him if he does, We are not spending money on gifts. I didn't get him anything. And again...she smiled and said..Oh lu... You'll see.. I bet he comes home with something tonight! ( she was so sure of MY husband!?) how funny, no??
but I knew I was right, I recently bought new expensive bras and underwear and he and I agreed.. Let's consider that my valentines gift, since we're on a budget.
Welll... I guess I should call Angie tomorrow and make her smile...
Mr. petals ( or should I call him Mr. WonderfuL?) Walked in the door from work tonight.... SMilING from ear to ear with A box from my favorite bakery with my favorite blackout cake AND a gift certificate for a fancy pedicure! You know what? I wasn't mad at all! I just hugged him and said 'the answer is YES!!!' he asked 'Yes???" YES!! I will be your valentine for the 33rd year!
Hope everyone has a special day tomorrow! Give some love and you will surely get it back.♥ ♥

mmmm this is the actual cake from our bakeries website! mmmm

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Waiting for the world to change

I have a friend in need and feel so frustrated and helpless. When the working poor can NOT make ends meet and go to various services for help, but are turned down because they don't meet the ridiculous specific criteria, there is something VErY wrong in our country! My friend is a hard worker despite a chronic illness. She is on her own and although her apartment is very small, it is still very expensive to pay the rent and utility bills. Recently she was sick and had to miss work, which meant she was not able to pay her oil bill. Yesterday, during the blizzard we had, this lovely woman was freezing and hungry. Just Last night, I found out just how tragic her situation is. I had no idea. I reached out to her and asked her if she would sleep at my house, but she declined, and of course with the blizzard it would have been impossible to shovel out and drive here. I would like to pay her oil bill, but unfortunately I can barely pay mine, which was over 600 this month.
Living on long island is becoming nearly impossible for the average home owner like me.
I've invited her to dinner this weekend and plan on doing that very often,but this deserving person needs much more than a few dinners and a warmer home. She needs a better paying job. She is a college graduate yet she's not able to find sufficient paying work in her field. I know her story is not a unique one. There are so many people in this kind of situation. My friend sends out resumes all the time, with no luck. What can be done to help her? I am wishing to start some kind of fund-raiser for her, although.. That would be like a band-aid on a severed limb.
Regardless! ... I am determined to try..
Any ideas on How I can raise money? What types of fund-raisers have you seen? I so appreciate all my blog buddies words of wisdom and any input. Thanks for listening!
I have an EXciting update to share...
One of my special angel this post and has brought me a generous monetary gift to pass on to my friend. WHAT a Beautiful, compassionate soul! Thank-you from the bottom of my heart! xox

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

the snow job

What a blizzard we are having today in NY! WOW, so much Snow out there! I am always worried about the shoveling end of this.. My husband thinks he is HE-man and nothing stops him from going at that shoveling like he is still in his twenties. Our 3 boys help him a lot, but it's still a huge job!
Last night before the storm, we had an appointment to check out a trial membership at Direct buy. Have u ever heard of them? They're an organization that formed to allow members to buy directly from many manufacturers, cutting out the middle man and ridiculous retail prices.
After 4 phone calls, two emails and a letter reminding us of our appointment time at 7 pm and advising we come at 6:55 for refreshments first. We arrive there at 6:50 only to be told the presentation doesn't begin until 7:15. Already, I got annoyed. I am a very punctual, respectful person. I am in an appointment driven profession so I respect 'the appointment'. But because so many others are NOT punctual, I have to be punished by these games to get everyone there at the same time! Okay, i felt that way but I am reasonable.. I remained patient and pleasant. At 7:25 they informed us that the other couple was running late, so they gave us a private presentation (basically a movie that tells you what their deal is all about). Well, it was an interesting operation. Much more expensive than we had imagined it would be, however, we were still being open minded...

ThEN... the Sales pitch! HOLY COW did they put the pressure on Mr. petals and I... Well, Mr. Petals does NOT react well to some one trying to bamboozle him. (one of the many qualities I admire in him.) We basically told the owner and salesgirl, we would never want to join without first trying it out for the month. You see, They were offering money off the membership fee, if your forfeited the trial and just signed up on the spot. The owner with a nasty tone asked.. "who wouldn't do this and save money?" Then the owner, who up until this attack, had been all smiley and Mr. Nice guy phony, Became down right rude and turned his back and walked away from us and our salesgirl. Mr. Petals stood up and said.. This is a Direct LIE! Your 'free trial is bullshit" and if this is the kind of tactics you use to deal with people, my wife and I want NoTHING to do with your club. We got up and walked out. I was so proud of how my husband handled it, and I told him how admirable his self-respect is. I'm embarrassed to admit as I admitted to him, that I don't think I would have handled it as righteous and confident, if I had been alone.

Alas, There goes the giant discount we were hoping to have on a new recliner chair! Back to looking at retail stores and being snowed in a different way.
Today I was happy to see an email from their district office asking about our experience.. Boy did we enjoy salvaging our principles by composing a VEry strong letter! I also plan on spreading the word to my clients, and blogging buddies.. hey... Face Book may be a great place too! Not to deal with Direct buy! Anyone who is smiling and offering you coffee one moment, then insults and treats you disrespectfully the next.. can't be trusted to be an honest business person. Whew.. I am getting hot again..
No, not over this waste of my tuesday night, when I was wishing I was watching american idol..
I am hot as in HOT flash HOt! I've heard about these flashes for years and years from my ladies ( I like to affectionately call my clients- my ladies) But I can't believe HOW hot you get!
It comes upon you in a ..(yes)FLASH. I strip off my sweater, step outside and in another flash, it has passed and I am back in my clothes...
Hey...I may have a lucid solution to my snow storm worries... A few snow angels... I will melt that blizzard off my driveway!

Sunday, February 07, 2010

In case u missed it the first time..

I am re-posting an old blog post from may-08. After reading about the 'bug man' on my friend Skittles blog.. I just had to resurrect my similar memories.. Inhaling all that bug spray,it makes sense why skittles and I are a bit buggy..

13 things that were around when I was growing up in the 60's.

1- The BUG man! The BUG man! ( that's what we Yelled excitedly when we saw him)
I can't even believe that our parents didn't suspect this MAY be dangerous?... As the little truck went down each side street spraying a burst of fog ( probably DDT?) from the back of the truck... ALL the children would RUN through the fog!! (I am typing this with my third hand with the 7 fingers)

2- The ICE man! No he wasn't a mummy. He was an old timer with a push cart. He had buckets of shaved ice and he poured liquid colored sugar syrup over each scoop of ice that he shoveled into a cone shaped paper. Yum, I'm sure that liquid had a bit of DDT in it too

3-(speaking of liquid sugar) - I can't remember what these were called but I LOVED them, they were tiny waxed bottles that contained Liquid sugary water. They came in a tiny four pack and you would bite the wax top off the bottles(spit it out!) and drink down the sugar goodness! If anyone can remember these and know their name.. Please tell me!

4- The smell of burning leaves
Last night I smelled this for the first time since my childhood! Between the mass doses of DDT and the toxic particles of gases from inhaling burning leaves, I should have lung cancer, But I think sugar coating my lungs has protected them

5-Dawn Dolls! ( okay this was probably the early 70's, as I was more like 11 or 12)
I loved these miniature versions of barbie dolls. They were about 6" tall and I know there was one called Longlocks, 'cause she was my favorite'. (I was destined to do hair)

6-45 rpm records- Just two songs, the Popular one on the A side and the 'never played on the radio' song on the flip side.
Sometimes, you got lucky and the flip side was super cool. It was super cool to store them in a box like this!

7-White Lipstick! My sister is 6 years older than me. She was a teenager in the 60's. I was so envious of her WHiTE lips. I wanted to wear her lipstick every day! She said I had to wait till I was older. when I was older- white lipstick wasn't in style :(
When it DID briefly come back I was too OLD to pull off the white lip thing!
I feel deprived. Maybe that's why I really pile on the chapstick at the beach.

8-Family and friends on sundays. thanks to the blue law, stores were closed. Sundays consisted of going to church, then the bakery for the italian bread and some crumb cake. Mom usually made sauce, pasta & meatballs on Sunday. We would either go visiting or have company. There was something so comforting to that lifestyle.

9- Respect- For your parents, For your friends, For your fellow man. Notice these days how People just don't seem to respect others? NO? HAve you DRIVEN anywhere lately? There is very little consideration on the roads these days. There is however, A LOT of middle fingers, beeping and wreckless behavior.

10-Kids playing ALL day outdoors. Yes, kids do go outside today. They skateboard and play basketball and ride bikes. BUT, they also are busy with 'organized' sports and many other commitments ( in my area anyway). Very scheduled, very expensive, very time consuming. When they aren't busy with that they are Doing the addicting indoor things- computer games, video games, AIM.
When we were little We played outdoors from sunrise to sunset. Parents did the LONG loud Yell to get you in for dinner... you remember that?? Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu / Luuuuuuuuuuuuuu Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Today, kids are called on their cell phones " yeah, Johnny.. come home your dinner is getting cold"
11-speaking of cell phones- What was around instead when I was growing up? Talking to your kids friends and their parents on the phone (the ONLY phone in the house) and At their front door.
Today, my kids friends call their cells. I don't get to speak to them like I used to with my elder sons friends. It was nice, Let me bring this historic happening back for you. me- Hello?
Hi Mrs. L. this is mikey is Robbie home? "Yes, Mikey hold on a second please." Very nice, right? And when Mikey was at my house and it was time to go home? His parents came to the door to pick him up!! amazing right? they didn't sit in their lexus and call his cell. I actually invited them in, had some small talk, was able to get to know them. Now? I ask my son- where's Mikey? Oh, he left already, his dad called him and picked him up. Honestly, isn't there something wrong with this new scenario??

12-Long lasting appliances! My blogging friends know this is a pet peeve of mine. Disposable toaster ovens, irons, shower heads... You name it! Nothing lasts like it used to. I've been in my home 24 years and have gone through (start singing...) 4 dishwashers, three ironing boards, two washer/dryers and a F#@$% partridge in a pear tree!

Stumped on #13 ( and too tired to think)- I searched the web and found this great video summing up the 60's better than I can- take me back to the sixties

Thursday, February 04, 2010

a funny thing happened..

Gee, what's happening to me? I've got this cute new header, a great computer, super blog friends, enough free time... and I am NOT blogging much! Like a treasured long time friend whom you've lost touch with, It would pain me to just stop this relationship. So here I am tonight, getting together with this friend, Me with my raspberry cosmo on my coaster and my dog cosmo keeping my toes warm. My friend Mac with his freshly dusted screen wearing Sherries whimsical art work. So now what?
what's been new Mac? 'Not much.. feeling a bit sluggish lately.. maybe you need to clean out my cache or something. What's new with You, Lu?'
Well a funny thing happened the other day Mac, that keeps running through my head and making me giggle. It's not really funny, it's actually quite scary.. would you like me to tell you about it?
"Hey! it may be the ice breaker we need, go for it"
Okay... well, the other day I came home and listened to my messages.. One was from my neighbor who asked if I got the same flyer in MY mailbox that he got in his.. The flyer only said..
The Squirrels are coming.. So, he told me he was going to call the cops... I thought to myself? Why call the cops? Maybe we're getting an early spring and someone is warning us that there will be more troublesome squirrels than we normally have to deal with? I was more confused than I normally am so I gave him a call... I said.. No, I didn't get that flyer, but why are you calling the cops, just because someone's telling you that squirrels are coming? (this is the funny part).. He cracked up laughing and said.. I didn't say it said the SQUIRRELS are coming you wacko.. I said it said... the SKULLs are coming!
(here is the scary part) I said .. SKulls?? what the heck does that mean? He said the skulls are a gang and this was a threat!! (Holy Crap!) Pretty scary,no? I've never heard of them myself, but this neighbor is a bit more savvy about things like this, so I totally trust his instincts.
Well, since this has happened, I've been wanting to call him and leave a message saying... 'beware of the squirrels"!
I know I am the ONLY one laughing right now! It is just cracking me up, the way silly things sometimes do.. So here and there through the week, I've just burst into laughter, leaving my family confused. (join my club family) thinking about the misunderstanding and how funny it would have been if the flyer DID say Squirrels. Are u with me Mac? "yeah, and I am beginning to understand why our relationship has been stagnant." (sigh) Me too.
sunday scribblings