Monday, April 18, 2011

'Follow Your Bliss....

Hard to believe but April 20th marks 5 years since I began this blog! It all began when my friend Ann mentioned she had a blog and I asked her WTF is a blog? After hearing me complain that I wish I had MORE to do with this expensive computer than just dust it, she began explaining it to me and encouraging me to start my own. First I questioned her ... What do I have to write about? Since her blog had a knitting theme, I knew I had NO theme at all. She encouraged me to write about the funny experiences in my salon, my life, day to day stuff. Second, I said... I would NEVER be techie enough to know how to even begin, but being a good egg, she talked me through it step by step, H T T P this and mumbley jumble that. A blog was born! (thanks so much again Ann!)

So here I am, 5 years later! 683 posts under my belt (or finger tips.) Nearly 25,ooo views. I've written about a lot of this and that including stories from my hair salon and some of my wacky/lovable clients! The thing about blogging that I had never expected when I began? I've met such wonderful people through this forum, including one very special soul sister, who I treasure and I know I will be friends with forever! Blogging seemed to open other doors as well. For me, it seemed to help take me out of what I now view as a 'comfortable BLAH'. Maybe it was depression? I am in such a social job and talk and laugh with (mostly) women all day, but I felt I wanted to socialize more, I wanted to surround myself with More outings, more of my old friends, also make new friends but I seemed trapped in this unfulfilled yet totally unmotivated mode of .... "eh, I'm not in the mood!" Not in the mood to call a friend, plan a lunch date, have more company, Meet more people, initiate friendships, PUT MYSELF OUT THERE! I worked and raised my kids and occasionally went out with couple friends, gathered with family but inside I just wasn't feeling ..... complete. My husband constantly encouraged me to make more friends, one way being... get friendlier with the clients that he knew I really loved. I always said 'nah'. I don't want to.

The changes that have happened to me in the last 5 years are amazing. Little by little, with the cathartic outlet of writing, I got back to the friendly, outgoing Lucy that I always used to be. (I swear NO meds either!! haha) I am so lucky to have many amazing women in my life. Women NEED women. I don't care if your husband is your best friend and a gem, WE NEED OUR GIRLFRIENDS too!!! Many who at one time were my clients! I think of how many of them I used to turn down when they asked me to get together with them. Thankfully I turned that social leaf or I would Never be living the life I am currently living. Key word- Living! I feel so much more fulfilled and happy.
About two years ago, One dear client/friend came into my salon ALL excited because she had just tried a New thing called.. Zumba! She rushed in and said...I know how much you Love to dance...You HAVE to come to zumba with me!! the old me? I would have made some half ass excuse but the new me said... I would love to! I think of that and how far I've come with this as well, and I still can't believe that I've embarked upon teaching DANCE/FITNESS classes at my stage of life! I feel this has been an amazing accomplishment and I've never felt this proud of myself.... EVER!

I didn't start this post with a clue of what to write about this anniversary or even a POINT to make! but I now know what my point is.... GET OUT THERE! DON't be afraid to get your ass out of whatever blah comfort spot you're in. Open doors! One thing leads to even better things! First blogging and now through Zumba, I've met even MORE wonderful, dear friends, who I treasure and who I will be friends with forever. I can't imagine if I wouldn't have ventured out to that first class and from there ventured out to that first workshop to become a certified zumba teacher. Don't get me wrong...EVERy step of the way, I second guessed myself, my abilities, my SANITy!! but I DID it! Life is so freaking short... it's NOT a dress rehearsal.. we can't keep thinking...'another day' 'another time'. Open new doors, DO New things and open new paths! THIS is it! Your time! What are you going to do to make it more blissful? It would be a great anniversary gift if you share with me... what your desire is and HOW you're going to MAKE it happen!! thanks for listening!
" the doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live"

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

The word angel comes from angelos which is the Greek word for messenger

I haven' t blogged in such a long time but just like that treasured longtime girlfriend that You always know will be there for you, no matter how much time has passed between lunch dates with her... my blog too, is here when I need it to be. There is something comforting about this outlet.

I feel I need some comforting this week, my heart seems extra heavy with the weight of so many significant concerns and on top of them so many odd things triggering the pain of many memories of sooo long ago. It's worrisome for me when I find myself STILL pained by memories that are so long past and usually SO long forgotten. I imagine I have these heartaches hidden away in the darkest corners of my being, being guarded behind a locked, darkened window by some type of keeper. Lately though, it's like this little keeper has been a mischievous girl, prying open the window, allowing random, silly triggers to blow in and stir up all those dusty stored piles of hurt feeling, neglect and unfulfilled needs and allowing them to flow out. They flutter up up up, around and around and land heavily on my heart and mind.

Yesterday, I found myself wondering if this keeper is a little rascal or is she perhaps more a messenger Angel of sorts, pushing me to do something about all this antiquated, unwanted clutter.

THREE times this week, a book that had triggered much trouble from this messenger when I had originally read it, was brought up in conversation to me. 'A tree grows in Brooklyn.' I can't even write, read or hear the title, without it evoking the same heavy heart that reading it gave me. When I had read that book, I found myself taking out my old worn out notebook of notes, that I occasionally gathered in my life, notes that I had put up on a shelf and forgot about. Feverishly writing memory after hurtful memory, deliriously intending to one day organize it into some kind of book about my crazy life story! But now, Three times in one week? Along with hearing many emotional songs that are acting as triggers like the poignant song 'farmers daughter' by Crystal Bowersox, which has a few lines that move me to tears. How can ALL these signs not be some kind of message?? Maybe my angel is messengering me to FIND the tattered notebook and take IT AND that 'crazy' dream of writing my novel off the shelf and like a good spring cleaning, open up the window and sweep up every messy corner of my soul.