Sunday, April 22, 2012

Marriage is a marathon of give and take

My husband and I had an argument yesterday. It was so upsetting but thankfully it's so rare. We really get along very well and since arguing is NOT my forte yet he could argue the fleas off a dog, I am relieved it's infrequent. As we are growing old together some of our annoying traits seem to be getting the best of us. He for example, WON'T admit to it, but he repeats his statements and questions, OFTEN. I am not trying to act like an angel here because I admit I do have some very annoying traits, but I have to say... I wouldn't even mind him repeating himself to me, I would patiently keep repeating the same answer, but WHY I get so annoyed and a bit bitchy is because i KNOW if i did this to him, he would be impatient and SCREAM... 'I already told you this!!!"  So ...really, that makes this HIS fault? right?! come on...  RIGHT!!!
As a matter of fact, most of my impatient reactions are only because (the sicilian? or bitch? in me) I have to give him a dose of his own medicine.  

An annoying habit of mine (so HE claims), is that I complain .... A LOT.   I used to listen to his criticism, and try to be conscious of when I did it, so I could try to curb it... but after ALL these years married... it started dawning on me several years ago.... He is WAYyyyy out complaining me!  Trying to argue my point  with this expert arguer would be futile... so i dealt with it in a new way.... I began imitating Mr. Petals at every situation where I just KNEW a complaint would be certain. 

(for example)..EVERY single time we have ever driven down a particular secondary road to get to a shopping center, he has always negatively commented.... 'Who in their right mind would buy these big homes on this busy street?"   So now.... before we get to the big homes... In my big, booming, best Mr. Petals Voice... I say...
(exaggerating my point with a REAL heavy brooklyn ny accent, which he doesn't have but I love to imitate).... 'WhO the hell would buy these freakin homes on this shitty street?? are these stupid people out of their F***ing minds???? ' husband cracks up laughing at himself.     (genius, no??)
It's been working every time!   When we witness someone driving like a moron.... I BEAT him to the punch...  "Freaking Asshole...get off the F***ing road!"....       He seems to be getting my point and has really cut back on all this senseless complaining!     

Marriage truly is a test of endurance, we all hope its a long distance test. I am finding the best way to ensure it continues, is to find a balance of love, patience, communication and a lot of (freaking) humor.    

sunday scribblings

Friday, April 20, 2012


SIX YEARS OF BLOGGING!? how can that be?? kind of like... how can it be that my eldest will be 28 yrs. old in two months. I still FEEL 28, well most days i do...certainly not nights, when I get up off that couch and my legs shuffle me oh so slowly to the bathroom, which I need oh so quickly. Six years! how can that be?? kind of like how can it be that my baby is 19! NINETEEN! I was married at 21, he couldn't Possibly handle marriage in two years! Kind of like my middle son being 25... 25!!! I had my first baby at 25, how can that be?? He couldn't be a dad now.. how was I a mom then?? How did this happen?? time is flying by way too quickly.. it just can't be that I am middle aged! wait... middle aged... that would mean I have to live to 104. How can that be??
does that mean I am already OLD?? well... more and more people are living past 100.. so that makes it POSSIBLE that this is the middle. maybe I'm just approaching the end of the middle years and the beginning of old age. Wait... anniversaries should be happy... this is depressing the shit out of me. 6 years ago when i began this luluspetals blog I was only 46. FORTYsix! how can that be... I will be fifty freaking three this summer! 53! sure... some of you that are older think... sheesshh that's so young! YOUNG??!! my hair is thinning, my wrinkles are growing, my bones are aching, my feet hurt my back hurts (well from my new fanged washing system). If I keep on (occasionally) 6 more years I will be 59! that's almost SIXTY! sixty?? how can that be... I feel 28 most days! GEE... repeating myself ... maybe this IS old age? anyway.... todays is my blogoversary... i thought I should write something... this is it!!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Why can't they make things like the good old days??

So.. my super large capacity maytag washer blows it's transmission after 5 & 1/2 short years. Is it just my luck? or do u find they are building temporary appliances, designed to break and be replaced every few years. Not appliances only.. it seems I can't even get a frying pan to hang around a year, before it's non-stick surface is non-existent. So after my very trustworthy repairman tells me... "it doesn't even pay to fix this washer...he also adds... "And WAIT till you go shopping for a new one, YOU will hate them... they now have NO WATER! " He explains they are all made to be energy efficient using a fraction of the amount of water that my Super maytag did.

I set off to the giant appliance store... already soured and determined to find a washer with water.
(this is my first mistake)
Oddly enough... Kevin (trustworthy,miracle repairman) is INcorrect... You CAN still buy the 'old fashioned' type ( from 5 years ago) the type with the agitator in the middle and Tons of wasteful water. Woo hoo! Lucy scores what she thinks is one up on this new fangled crap! (mistake two)
They deliver it the next day...
I notice something I didn't notice in the BIG store... this washer is SMALL ... REAL small. So, I call the salesman and ask if it is as large as my SUPER CAPACITY 'old' maytag?? he gives me a whole lot of mumble jumble that they're measured by cubic ft. now and the old ones weren't ...blah blah blah.... "it should be the same as the maytag". The next day, I attempted to put my king sized sheets in, they just about made it in there, but much more frustrating than that... when I tried to take them out they were SOAKING wet and tied in about 20 knots!!! do u know how difficult it was to undo HEAVY knotted jumbo sheets?? long story shortened... the same thing happened to 2 more wash loads. .. TIMe to call for a repair... on a 2 week OLD new machine!!
Now, mistake three... I SO Wish I could have been home and witnessed... CRAZY mr. Petals response when the repairman tried BLAMING ME (ME! laundry Queen) of Incorrectly loading the machine... he actually asked Mr. Petals... 'Now is your wife placing the clothes in the washer Or Dropping them in?? She needs to DROP them gently and evenly in the machine. My husband said... MY WIFE HAS BEEN DOING LAUNDRY FOR 32 YEARS! ARE U TRYING TO TELL ME THAT SHE NOW NEEDS A LAUNDRY LESSON? SHE IS KNOWN HERE AS THE LAUNDRY QUEEN! IS THIS WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME??? I WANT TO RETURN THIS PIECE OF S**T AND GET A NEW ONE!
He was told that they have to make 3-4 repair visits before a return is ever considered... so my husband said...well set up another visit for next week and the week after that...because if that's what it takes... you can waste your time and mine and keep coming back each week until I get a refund...
They came for it the next day.

This time when I shopped... I decided to allow the savy salesman to explain 'high efficiency' to me.
well it turns actually made sense! He used the following analogies... when u wash ur hands... do u want to sit them in a sink FULL of dirty water? or constantly run clean water over them?? and instead of an agitator the clothes rub on each other kind of like how our ancestors rubbed them on a rock near the river in the olden days....(hmmm.... why didn't brilliant Kevin know this theory?) it made some sense to me now.

He had me sold, but before I committed, I tried to reach into this Gigantic, agitator-less machine... "Gee, I am on my tippy toes and I still can't reach the bottom" To which the savvy salesman said... 'does that really matter? do u think you really ever need to reach the bottom?"
had he NEVER done laundry??? I looked at him trying VERY hard to not let my expression show him that I thought he was a complete moron now and I wasn't sure I could trust that great sales pitch he had going a minute ago. I looked right at him and softly said..... you know ... you need to reach down and pick up like a sock or something. As I said this, I thought about the step stool i keep in my laundry room and the giant bar-b-que tongs I never use... and....
I make the decision to go for it. To spend EVEN more and buy this EVEN bigger than super capacity BIG, No Water, No agitator, high efficiency, can't reach into the bottom without tongs or a step stool.... new fangled washer!!!

Well... so far I am happy with the results of the clothes but doing the laundry is a bit more complicated than ever before... Because I am UP on a step stool taking out the wet clothes, I can't simply fling them into the dryer like before... NOW... I keep a laundry basket propped up on top of my rolling hampers. I put the wet in there then have to get down off my stool ( hang up my tongs) and lift the Heavy basketful of wet clothes, put it in front of the dryer and then throw them in there! Modern conveniences! no river,no rock...but made to break our backs ...just like the good old days!
(picture to come soon!!!)