Thursday, November 30, 2006

It's the Most wonderful time of the year!

Is there any one else out there, as lackadaisical as I am this year, when it comes to the holiday decorations? Maybe, it's due to the fact that last weekend was in the 60's. Maybe, It's because Thanksgiving always sneaks up on me and I always think it should be moved to another week( Maybe the 2nd thursday of November would work well. Do you think those damn pilgrims care anymore?) Then we would have 6 weeks to get ready for the merriement. I am cooking for 16 on Christmas eve and my own family on Christmas Day. I still need to shop for gifts, Plan a menu, Shop for and cook the food. Wash the china and good silverware, Find and launder tableclothes. Shop for and write out cards. Wrap the damn gifts once they're here. But! first! those decorations must be put up, down and all over the house. Wait, even before that- What's really holding me up (and getting me down)- First! First!- My house needs to get dusted. It used to get dusted weekly, Lately, however, something is happening to me. I can't stand to dust. I have a million nicknacks which i still do love, but these little treasures make dusting endless. So, before i set out santa and his stupid reindeer and the dancing bears, and the smiling snowmen, A tree with 900 ornaments, 400 mini trees and all the other crap, I need to clean. Why is it that when i finally DO get in the spirit of things, I never think i have enough of these similar doodads. We all must do this, we go in the stores and it's ooooh look Santa on a swing, a reindeer with a dogsweater, a tweetybird in a tree, A snowman with a stick up his ass. An angel in a different pose than the 22 i already have. Then when it comes to unpacking all this shit and then dusting it and putting it back in the boxes in a few short weeks, it's tedious and exhausting. Geez, I can't believe what a scrooge i sound like. I usually am not like this. I love Christmas. I really do. It's actually my FAVORITE holiday! ( I am just finding this a difficult year to get in the swing of things.)
A few days ago I had to go for minor surgery. Everything is okay, I still have to wait for the lab results, but the doc. thinks things are fine. I just feel like between the pre surgical jitters and the post surgical recoup period, I am just not accomplishing anything! I have never been one to just sit and do nothing. Well this "rest and relax" few days is making me more nutty than i already am! If I had the cards bought, I could have at least been writing. If my decorations were down from the garage loft, I could maybe do the less physical stuff. ( i will have to bug my husband to do that this week). But first -WHO out there, can I bribe to come over and bring their endust?
Hey, Maybe, if i just procrastinate for another couple of weeks- I could just pretend there's a soft layer of snow under all the holiday cheer. Yeah! that should work. Incredible, Blogging has solved my problem! Hope it gives you a good idea too!

Sunday, November 26, 2006


It was many years ago that i would discover my only nemesis lived foot steps away. That sunny peaceful day, our quiet neighborhood was invaded, for many hours,with her dogs incessant barking. ( I guess all evil doers have an equally diabolical side kick). Having a child suffering with a migraine, I decided to venture over to this new neighbors home, and politely request if she could Please bring her dog inside. I am serious. Even though you may be surmising that i planned on being rude, no- Sweet and apologetic was my intent. The Outside door was open, the screen door was unlocked. Music was blaring, In the distance I heard a baby wailing. I knocked. I knocked again. I rang the bell. I started yelling the proverbial "Hello'" "Any one there" Okay, This I thought is bizarre and possibly bad news. What if this new neighbor was injured, hence the dog and baby unattended? I would never dare enter on my own. I decided it was best to call the police. I explained the situation clearly, I apologized that I may be wrong about the neighbor needing assistance. The outcome- The evil nemesis was in her basement ( i would like to say- Plotting neighborhood destruction) But she was giving and getting manicures with a friend. How irresponsible i must ask you?? Who would listen to music so loud as not to hear their child? Well, I guess she disagreed with me. When the police left this N.N.N. ( new neighbor nemesis) Marched into my yard SCREAMING obscenities at me. Something like " Who the fuck do you think you are" "why the fuck would you call the police". I gave her a horrified expression- Put my hands up and said " Lady, you should be thanking me, I thought you were in trouble." I walked in my house and didn't have words with her again for about a year.

One year later she apologized and said she was in a stressed way. (Some bullshit like that) I accepted her apology. About a year after that, she proceeded to block my gate with her garbage pails. We used to have access to a side street, Now we don't. I let it pass, I don't need to go out that way.
Their garbage blows onto my lawn now. They are Always outside having a cig. and talking LOUDLY on the phone. So anytime my pets go out..... Yep, they are excited by the smokers and bark. Too much! I am having to let them in early not to disturb my other neighbors.
It seems like every day there is one thing or another that I witness, hear or am just pissed off by. She likes to back out of her driveway like a psycho, burning rubber!( She is going to run over one of her kids.) Her kids like to taunt my pets, they like to throw their balls and toys in my yard. Their fence is rotting and falling apart and they don't replace it.Their dogs are allowed to roam freely with no leash! The larger one is often in my front yard. I can go on and on. I think it would be easier to have Lex Luther as a neighbor.

for more nemesis stories click Here

Friday, November 24, 2006

Give us this day, Our daily fluff

This is what our couch looks like just about every morning.(that's molly with the scary camera flash eyes) When i chose this couch many years ago, a friend told me " This will be your first and LAST loose pillow back." I thought of one of my favorite quotes ( don't know who said it originally, but I like to think of it as thumpers quote)." If you don't have anything nice to say-Don't say anything at all." Well, turns out, She said a mouthful. As much as I love this couch when it is freshly fluffed, I resent this daily Extra chore to my extraordinarily busy, crazy day. It takes a good five minutes to turn each pillow upside down and bang them. By The last few pillows, I am fantasizing killing them with each whack. (The last few are always the fluffiest.)
Including the seat cushions on the couch and love seat, there are 14 smashed in pillows to fluff. Times that 14 pillows by 7 days of fluffing and I am whacking about 98 pillows per week. Take that 98 per week and in a year I have tried to kill about 5,096 mother fucking cushions.
It is truly maddening! I know what you're thinking, Why Fluff? Why Care? If it's just going to get messy each night, leave those floppy, mushed pillows alone, cushion killer! I admit, there are days when I Must skip the fluff. Just can't spare the extra 5 minutes, or I'm already stressed and just don't want to get that angry feeling, or my hands have no strength to give a good wallop. But look at that mess. It looks so untidy, my ocd just won't allow it too often. The difference is distinct. check out what a perfectly fluffed loose pillow back couch CAN look like...

The good thing about this couch is it is the first couch we've ever had that doesn't wear out.( Even with all the beatings it gets!) Before this sucker came along we had been through more couches than most families see in a Lifetime. They would get pilly, they would show premature wear. It was ridiculous. So I guess I should be happy that this mushy one is giving us lots of years. I wish I could say it was giving us lots of comfort too, but unless you rearrange pillows, it is not easy to sit in.
As Billy Crystal used to say " it is better to loook good than to feeeel good"

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Lazing on a sunday afternoon

Today was a nice relaxing sunday. We sat with our coffee and newspapers for a long time. We listened to beautiful music. We painted. My husband paints beautiful paintings. Recently, when he urged me to try to paint too, I agreed. Well, I really enjoyed it! I surprised myself. Although I feel i am creative when it comes to my work, I am not artistic on paper. I wish I could show you a picture of my first painting, but I gave it to my son as a gift. He has it up at school.It was very UNrealistic, it was whimsical. The sky had many happy faces subtly hidden. It looked like happiness. This is a picture of the 2nd painting. My husband thought it had a monet feel to it ( wow, love is blind). I want to give this one to my oldest son, when he comes home for Thanksgiving. His love of painting also encouraged me. I know it isn't good but like a child with their first finger painting- I feel so proud of it.
Another past time today was a New haircut. I have had the same old style for so many years. It was just time for a change. My husband told me to leave it in his hands and despite all the caffeine I felt so relaxed, I complied! I am really loving the change. I may dare to go even shorter next time. Maybe, Like Claude Monet here- I will even sport a baret!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Blinkless Buffoons & Bjork

We had a great day yesterday. We went upstate to visit our middle son at college. It was so great seeing him, but also great to get to know some of his friends. We took him and four of his friends to the only restaurant we know of in his town. Good old Applebees. His friends were so friendly and so entertaining. They were so happy with their food and started giving us the low down on how little they had eaten that day. Two girls had had nothing so far that day, my son had a handful of nuts. Another boy had a mini bag of Doritos. And my favorite was my sons roommate who had 7 m&ms and 1 bagel. Apparently the "good" dining hall is closed on weekends. I was so happy to talk with these fun young adults, and know this is who he chooses to mostly hang out with. I am relieved to see they were caring, intelligent, and very social people. They also gave me the low down on how cautious and sensible my son is when it comes to college partying. Yes, I am sometimes gullible but this was honest and down to earth sharing. I believe them and really think he is lucky to have such a nice group of buddies. He is loving his life there and I hope his whole life brings him this kind of contentment.

The only part of the day that wasn't great was dealing with all the inconsiderate drivers! Yeah, here I go, I have to complain about something.
Has anyone else been aware of the increasing number of drivers who refuse to ever use their directionals? It seems to me, it is a conscious act of selfishness. Using a blinker after all is mostly for the benefit of others. It is also a way of keeping yourself safe, warning people of your intentions. The inconsiderate driver is too much of a moron to understand the correlation. They just want to make their move, no matter who is shocked or inconvenienced by it. I would like to make up a million bumper stickers and distribute them to anyone who feels the same. Just something memorable like DON'T BE A STINKER- USE YOUR BLINKER! These same blinkless buffoons are also the ones who like to change from lane to lane, constantly. They are the ones that don't allow you to keep a safe distance from the car in front of you. Any small space, they will drift into it. Please tell me it is not just me. Please tell me you notice this driving frenzy! I am reminded of a bit by George Carlin who said. Did you ever notice that anyone driving slower than you are is an Asshole and anyone driving faster is a Maniac! It is true. Think of it the next time some "stupid asshole" is in front of you and going much slower than you would like to be going. And as those cars speed by you while you're going 70-you say or think "fucking Maniac!"
The only thing that made the highway bearable- the great music we were singing along with. Car acoustics somehow allow us to become the artist! Yesterday I was Bjork. More bizarre than that- my husband was Christina Aguliera.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

hungry mouse

Well, I am happy to admit that I actually didn't mind Halloween after all. As you can see I was not Mickey freaking mouse. I was Minnie Cheerful Mouse! ( the 4 points of wine could have helped!) Dressing up definitely put me in a more festive mood. My younger son needed my Mickey shorts so voila- my Minnie apron came to the rescue. My Dressing up seemed to bring out the best of the little tricky beasts. Many actually said Thank you! A cute bunch of little girls said "oooh, Look, She is dressed up too". A little boy with a screw stuck in his gory little face liked my lit up Pumpkin. Okay, this wasn't bad at all. Another positive that didn't hurt my spirit, was I weighed in at Weight watchers and lost another 3.8 lbs! I actually said "Holy shit" to the weigher! I thought I had had a bad week, food wise. I was so in the mood for Home made Chicken soup and didn't know how to weigh that. So I just ate it. All! It was delicious. Another foul up was when my son and I went pumpkin picking, I of course, chose the spot in town that bakes delicious donuts too. You can smell them as you are driving down the street! They were delicious! The icing on the cake (yumm, cake) was the 4 snack size almond joys I ate for lunch on Monday. Yep, they were REALLY delicious. (This weight watchers diet is pretty satisfying)
At the meeting a ww member told me about a website I thought I would pass along- ( gee, I know her) If you subscribe to it, It will send "tasty tidbits of the world of food and dieting" to your email address daily. Hope it's helpful, and Hope everyone had a nice Halloween.