Monday, May 22, 2006

Tell me- What kind of driver are you?

Last week I had to drive upstate to get my two sons from college. In the past my husband has always done this with me. This year,a new job and new hours prevented him from being able to go. I shouldn't say he has done it with me. HE has just done it. I just sit there and say "oh god, I could never do this". I don't fear driving around my own area, or anywhere on Long Island. It's that unfamiliar driving that has me a total wreck. Remember that "flea circus" post a few weeks back? Well, I Still think I had hives and I think it was from being so nervous about this road trip! Another problem with being a nervous nellie- Stress=Sickness. Two days after "the big trip" I get tonsillitis. Is it really worth it all?
Do I really need to try to "act like a grown woman" and get over my fear? Or is it realistic to say- Hey, Everyone has limitations. There is a TON of shit I am damn good at! (gee- I should be writing a "ton of shit I'm good at" list)
So I made the journey- In the down pouring /poor visibility/ hydroplaning /driving/ F_ _ _ _ _ g Rain! I don't think my boys realize how difficult it was for me. Especially my oldest ( robbie). He is the most relaxed, laid back driver. On the way home ( i am a passenger now, but still nervous) - I am watching him and he is oblivious to people passing him with annoyance because he is going too slow in the left lane. Oblivious to people who don't use blinkers, cut him off, speed by at 100. I said- "Honey I think that guys pissed because your going slow" "Hey, that's his problem" was his only response!! spoken with that slow, sitting on the porch, kind of tone! He certainly doesn't take after his father! Or we could call him road rage robbie ! My husband drives with such urgency and intensity- he could be a new thrill ride at great adventure. I think he is a good driver, he hasn't had an accident in 30 years. But you hold on and wish you had that security bar fall into your lap. He's flashing lights, flashing his finger, rounding curves at 85, smokin', eating, cursing, telling me funny stories, singing with the music. Its a one man show, it really is. Even though he gets me home safely each time, I sit there with my heart in my throat and say" Holy Shit- I could never do this! " Maybe that's why my fear is so strong. I think it has to be done the Mario Andretti way. Maybe, if i use my son as my role model - if I get lost, I get lost . If I'm late, I'm late. If I'm scared- Get over it. - Maybe, or maybe, I should just give them air fare.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Take the time to feel the marbles

I have a beautiful lavender bowl ( a gift from one of my favorite clients), that I recently filled with decorative marbles I bought at Michael's. This morning while doing laundry I found one of these marbles in my sons jeans pocket. It struck me as simply adorable.
Something most adults wouldn't usually do- find a new shiny object so smooth and interesting you just feel like touching it all day.
Even though " ernie" ( remember I am using the "my 3 sons" shows names!) is getting older, I so treasure the childish things he is doing less and less of. I am also treasuring the innocent child like things he sometimes still says. The other day while decorating his grandfathers 75th birthday cake, he so sweetly said to me " mom, I don't mean to be offensive, but grandpa may only have like 25 years left" How adorable is that? I hated to explain to him that grandpa would be very lucky and happy to live to 100. Lately, I feel like I've been more observant and appreciative of all the precious daily moments of ernie than I was with my other two sons.(chip and robbie) A big reason is I am less frazzled than when I was raising 3 young kids. Besides that, I think it's the monumental approach of high school for Ernie this fall. The realization that childhood happens in a heartbeat. The actuality that my older boys are adults already. (maybe, Perimenopause?) Whatever it is...I wish I would have written down all those millions of adorable, precious
expressions that have melted me for nearly 22 years.

Happy Mothers Day

How About a little humor on Mothers Day?

**Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that 3 Brazilian soldiers had been killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's face, and he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering. Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

**A tour bus diriver is driving with a bus full of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up
After about fifteen minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady why they don't eat the peanuts themselves.
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth," she replies.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then"?

The old lady replied. "We just love the chocolate around them."

Monday, May 08, 2006

ideology 101

Forgive and Forget
What goes around comes around

Which phrase do you live by? If someone you love always forgets your birthday- Do you purposely forget theirs?
Or do you forgive-they must have been absent minded.

If you've had friends over for dinner many, many times and they've never reciprocated- Do you stop asking?
Or do you make an assumption like - maybe, they don't like to entertain guests.

Phone calls- thats a biggie- My mom had such a strict calling Rule. " I called her last" - I always remember her saying that. I would always wonder- What if they don't call her? will she just loose that old friend?? And How did she keep track of that give and take thing, so well? Even, today at 77 - she sometimes still mentions that she called ME last!

Maybe the "goesaroundcomesaround" theory is a defense mechanism, so we don't feel hurt. Maybe it's immaturity, or insecurity. Does Forgiving and forgetting make you a fool? I think we all live by both attitudes at different times and with different people. I am questioning myself on both. They can both be hurtful ways to live. Lately, I am opting for forgiving and moving on. Not taking so much to heart. Giving even the most thoughtless, the benefit of the doubt.
Leave a comment and let me know what you think.. ( i will forgive you if you don't!)

Friday, May 05, 2006

it's not that easy being green

My middle son, who is away at college has the worst spring allergies I have ever witnessed. The sneezing The wheezing The asthma attacks. Eyes that are SO itchy he always ends up on cortisone eye-drops, and last year a cortisone shot. This year, I was hoping he would do better upstate at school, I hoped Maybe there were less oak trees than in our backyard. No such luck. He is doing terribly. It breaks my heart to know he is suffering so much. The amount of green pollen that blankets us this time of year is awful. Yesterday, I couldn't walk outdoors without it gagging me, making me run to get water. My car is green, my house is green, my dogs are even green.
Having your kids away from you when they aren't feeling well is the worst heartache. After I spoke to him Saturday Eve. I was ready to get in my (green) car and drive the 4 hours to just be there. Of course husbands think more with their heads than their hearts, and mine convinced me there would be nothing I could do for him, unless I could give him a cortisone shot myself. So, I resisted the heart tugging impulse and didn't go. It's so difficult that his allergy attacks happen at the end of each school year, when he needs to be sharp for studying, finals and the research papers that are all due. Wish the professors could give him an allergy curve when they grade. One more week of worry and he will be home. Thank goodness.
I decided not to use my boys real names on this blog. So being I've heard about a hundred times " oh! my 3 sons!!" I've decided to name them Robby, Chip and Ernie. Although my youngest just requested he be Robby, I am leaving him ernie so that I don't get confused. Remember this one piece of advice - The next time you meet someone who has 3 sons, refrain from using that "clever" line on them... they've definitely heard it already!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

10 lbs. of balony in a l lb. bag

I am very excited about our upcoming vacation. It has been a long, long, LONG time since we have been away. I don't mind all the preparation, the planning, the packing...... I only have one problem....... the dreaded...... Bathing Suit shopping!!!! ( wish I could plug in that movie horror music they use while killing people, right now) I think every woman can relate to this horrific, self confidence crushing, gruesome experience. I just don't get it. I'm not obese. I mean like most americans, I can use to loose about 15 lbs. But damn it, I'm not a house! Why is it that those unwanted pounds become like 100 lbs. when trying to get your ass into nylon and spandex? I may just opt for shorts and stay out of the water. Should I even go into the swim suit top? My breasts Have seen better days, but they're still workable! Why must they look like all hope is lost in these wireless, skimpy, boob sacks? I recently told my mother in law, that I admire those 200+ pound women who go to the beach in a string bikini. She was outraged at my statement, She said " Admire them?? Don't admire them, they are insane!"
Are they? It must be nice to not be so self conscious, to be a free spirit, to dry off more quickly than with cutoffs. Oh well, I am sure I will work this out. I am waiting for a victorias secret "Miracle" suit to arrive in the mail. I have always believed in miracles. But if this one works, I will believe in the tooth fairy too.
( how about magic mirrors?)

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Flea circus

Last week I had a terrible outbreak of Hives on my legs. It's such a mystery. I haven't used new detergent or soap. I did try on bathing suits the day before the break out. Maybe chemicals on new clothing? I did eat a handful of almonds. Maybe a new nutty allergy? It is so uncomfortable. I went to the Dr. yesterday and he thinks it may not be hives, it may be insect bites! Right away my mind went back to 2 weeks ago when I tried a new groomer for Molly. This woman grooms out of her house. It was a dark, damp, dirty basement. Her instruments looked seedy. She looked ragged. I got the thought that I was bringing Molly for an illegal abortion. My better instincts said Lie and get the hell out of here. But what did little lulu do? I left my poor innocent baby there! I've never been one for confrontation and I couldn't think of a good excuse. I wish I could have just said, " gee ( dirty lady) I'm sorry but I don't like your conditions here. I'm sorry I wasted your time. Thank-You. NO! Not me. I even tipped the hag when I picked up Molly! I have now drowned my two dogs with baths and frontline. I don't see a single flea but i am still itching and freaking. It's amazing how when a thought gets into your (crazy) head, It will make you totally neurotic! The only thing that makes me think my Dr. is wrong is insect bites get better and go away. These bumps are still red and itchy and yet my dogs Are not.