Saturday, September 26, 2009

My brain may be made of cheese

I have had NO inspiration to blog lately! When I happened to see the Sunday Scribblings Prompt... CHEESE...
right after I had had a bit of a memory lapse yesterday....It Hit me! My brain is turning into cheese! (mostly likely a genetic italian medley) I used to be able to take a small happening in my life, a problem, a happy moment, a funny occurrence, a worrisome moment... and tell a little tale about it. My life is still full of many types of moments.. but Cheese just doesn't seem to be able to process thoughts.
Yesterday I took my son to the pediatrician and they asked me to sign and date something...
I signed my name and then dated the paper 9/25/84. I'm not sure if the expression on my 16 year old sons face was worry or embarrassment as he quietly but firmly said to me... MOM?? It's TWO THOUSAND and NINE! The receptionist glanced at what I had wrote and threw me an expression that I sadly fear many people use on the mentally challenged. (or those with cheese for brains). I felt the need to defend my decades of memory loss by saying.. OH i must have been thinking of Franks Birth day because he was born on the 25th of June 1984... (Apparently my young son didn't see the logic in that connection since it's September) BUT... I still say.. there was some kind of connection that brought me back 25 years! As for the snooty receptionist.. she then began to SLOWLY question me to make sure all of our info. hadn't changed! She must have sensed the aroma of melted Mozzarella.

What's really starting to worry me, is that for as long as I can remember my mom has always had memory issues especially when it came to pronouncing words and names correctly.. She is a regular Norm Crosby (if u remember who he is). My sister and I stopped correcting Mom MANY years ago.. because No matter how many times we told her her favorite singer was NOT AnKle-Bart Hummerdinger but Engelbert Humperdink.. She just never could remember! Mom hasn't lived in Brooklyn since 1954... but it's still Earl and Ferl to her where it is Oil and foil to me. She still calls me my siblings names before she hits on mine! Last week she was ranting about her aNOONies for 10 minutes NON stop.. till I realized she was upset about her insurance annuities.
Many years ago while talking with my sister.. we began to wonder... WHAT if Mom had a normal brain when she was our age, after all she raised 3 kids all by herself and handled many tasks just what if we have some kind of disease in our family that causes a perfectly good brain to slowly turn to mush over time?... Not so much like Alzheimer's but more like... curdling. CURDLINg?? OH No!
See that! My brain really IS cheese!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Totally uninteresting, but hey... I wrote something!

So we switched our phone company BACK to cable. We had verizon for forever. Then, Cable made us a godfather type of offer for a year. But When the year was up we went running Back to verizon because there were a few problems with the cable phone service that were driving (mostly me) us crazy! With verizon the problems were fixed but then we received the first verizon bill, and we saw that their price was waY higher than it had been the year before! Simultaneous to this discovery, cable sends another irresistible offer in the mail. Bottom line, we are saving about $40.oo a month by switching back to Cable PLUS they are giving us a $200.00 gift card for coming back to them which is making us feel like these few little problems aren't worth paying 40.00 extra per month. How quickly we forget... Today the problems started again... and I am wondering if a measly $10.00 a week, a mere $1.43 per day is really too much for lack of aggravation??
** Cable phone Problem #1-
ECHoing !! I am hearing ME! MY squeaky annoying voice echoing loudly! I find it impossible to concentrate on the caller when I am trying SO hard not to sound SO awful!!
**Cable phone problem #2-
Often when a caller is leaving a message on my machine they hear a clicking noise which makes them THINK someone has picked up while they are leaving a message... so I get them saying "luanne? Luanne"? Hello?? Hello?? Did u pick up?" and that is NOT good for business or for relationships of any kind!!
**Cable phone problem #3-
With Verizon I could look through my caller Id's.. find the number I need to call back and just hit send... with Cable... this phone feature doesn't work!! I have to write down every number when people leave messages and dial them the old fashioned way!! It may not sound like it's so much trouble, but because of business.. I sometimes return as many as 10 calls... trust me, the other way is a real time saver. We are locked into cable for a year.. a loonnngg Echoey, clicky, hand cramped year. (I've decided to put up a sign in my salon explaining the clicking so I don't take a chance of losing clients who may think I pick up a phone call but don't speak as I quietly giggle with my 12 year old friends)
So there you have it... Blogging has been reduced to this.. venting over telephone services.
Will I ever get a bit of creative inspiration ever again??

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Oh Pabbi Minn

Today as I listen to a favorite tune... It brings to mind this older post.. and since I've been taking a bit of a sabbatical from blogging... I decided to RE-post one from a few years ago.. Maybe because I miss blogging or maybe because of the palpability of my grief or maybe I am hoping my few readers are still checking in to see if I have anything worthwhile to say... Whatever it is... I am sharing this again until some creativity comes over and hits me on the head with a brick or something.
thanks for checking in!

My dad passed away when I was 3 years old. My memories of him are more ingrained in me because of the stories I've heard about him. I'm not sure if they're real memories. My dad had a heart condition that was brought on from having Rheumatic Fever as a child.( With todays medical miracles, he could have been cured.) He was frail and restricted from vigorous activities. One story about him that I always treasured was that he always carried me around on his shoulders. My mom would always worry that I was too heavy and would yell at him to put me down. As a parent myself, I understand why he didn't listen. If you know you aren't going to be with your kids for too much longer, you take your chances and hang on tight.
I was (and still am) "the baby" of the family.
(When you are "the baby" you take this title with you till the end! I'm 47 and my mom still refers to me as the baby).

I think The weird thing about losing someone so important at such a young age is that the grieving process is the opposite of losing someone as an adult. As an adult the pain is present for a long time and fades a bit, the longer time has passed. The opposite is what I've been experiencing. Of course at 3 years old I had no clue of what was happening to my family. As I grew, there were times I felt curious and even embarrassed about not having a dad. During my teen years, I thought often of him and wanted to hear the stories and "get to know" him. As a young woman planning my wedding I wept -- knowing that he wouldn't walk me down the aisle. He wouldn't know the woman I had become or the man I was going to spend my life with. Raising my sons, I wished for their sake as well as for my dads that they would have had each other to love and learn from. Even Now, 44 years after he has died, I think of him often and get choked up as I am now, trying to write this.
One of my favorite songs brings me to tears each time I hear it. It is Bjorks version of an old song called oh my papa. In her native icelandic language it translates to Pabbi Minn. ( If you click this you can hear her beautiful version) Even though I don't understand a word she is saying, I can't hear this song without missing my poor dad. As I listen to her flawless, gripping voice- I can imagine myself weightless on his loving shoulders, being carried into my future with him always being there, making my life's journey simply idyllic.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

An old post resurected

Like most women, I find shopping for a dressy dress almost as torturous as the dreaded bathing suit search. However, Yesterday my shopping experience was terrifying. I finally found a dress I liked. They didn't have my size. The saleswoman suggested I try the dress anyway, If I liked it, they could order my size. Fine. The pickings were so slim, Even though I knew this dress was probably one or two sizes too small, I decided to forge ahead. I entered the the desolate hallway that housed 3 small fun house mirrored boxes. In my foolish haste, I forced this tiny beaded contender over my crazed (apparently) Large head. I squirmed and shimmied and shoved and pulled. I got it over my huge head and managed to strangle my raised arms as well. That was it. I was stuck like that. Panic struck. I wanted to call out for help but the glimpse of my bikini underwear barely on ,while a beaded straight jacket covered my head and arms, was too embarrassing to draw attention to. The mental image (or in this case fantasy) was clear and frightening. The firemen are called- they need the jaws of life to remove the assailant. I am left in my bright orange (too small) bikinis, battered, bruised, breathless (bra-less) and totally mortified. BUT- The handsome fireman (who axed the door down)gives a sexy smile & his bright yellow jacket to cover my flustered, perspired body.
Even though the fantasy of him eases my panic a smidge- I know I need to do this on my own. Miraculously, through my one eye that isn't enshrouded in material- I spy a Zipper! Oh my God, this dress had a zipper? I manage to reach it and pull just enough to get a whole hand out. I escape! Let me tell you though, For Five LONG minutes I didn't think I would without ripping that (fantasy sized) bully in two.

Monday, September 07, 2009

not out of the loop for long

I am just not ready for tomorrow to be BACK TO SCHOOL day!
WHERE did this summer go to?? And how did my kids grow so quickly?
Tomorrow begins my youngest sons SENIOR year and My TWENTY FIRST and LAST year of sending one of my kids off to school in my district. Surreal? you betcha! After this, he will hopefully have at least 4 years of college and then I am hoping I can fly off to Tahiti without any of them missing me.

I have been in this school district for TWENTY-FIVE years. Half of my life! Many years ago it was brought to my attention that we have a WEEKLY community newspaper. My friend referenced something from it and showed it to me, and I discovered this very informative paper was free to district residents. This little paper also seemed essential for people with kids in the district, keeping you up to date and in the loop. My address was somehow overlooked and left me out of the loop. (maybe that is why many friends call me loopy?) anyway.. I called them... spare you the long conversation but they were going to send it to me..... you know how busy it is raising kids and living a hectic life.. I didn't notice it, but they never sent it... FAst forward to this past June.... Another friend quotes something VERY significant from this little important newspaper.. My memory is jarred and I call them AGAIN. WELL... NOW their new policy is it is only free for those who've already received it for free, any NEW residents must pay a yearly fee. HELLO??!!! I've lived here for 25 years! I reasoned with the idiot on the phone for a bit and then asked to have his boss call me... Let's see, that was about 3 months ago.. Do I give up?? After all.. Tahiti is only a few years off... NO, I can't give up! You see, certain things of principle make me absolutely craaazzzy!

I want this damn paper! I am not paying a penny for it! AND if they make me HOT enough I am also demanding 25 years of back issues!! (okay, that may be unreasonable and too difficult to recycle) But, remembering my success with the apple store....I WILL be calling tomorrow and hopefully after 21 years of being loopy with district news... This last year, we will absolutely be on top of things!

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Haiku frenzy

The 3 word wednesday words are: glare luster and threat
I attempted FOUR, Yes 4 haikus..
which one do u like best?

Sensual Luster
in sparkling passionate glare
The threat of true love?

Her lackluster eyes
A glare sharper than a knife
Silent deadly threat

Her threat of revenge
The luster of her silk scarf
his glare choked in awe

your lustrous glare thrills
threatens my skin with Cha Chills
weakens all my wills

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

blue yellow

Lately, I haven't been blogging as regularly. I don't really know how I ever had the inspiration and energy to share my small little goings on with whomever would visit. I don't know why I have lost my blogging spirit. But I do know that Right now I feel like I've lost my spirit in general. I know it will blow away, it always does. Then, unfortunately it comes floating back again.. I call it a 'funk' when it visits. It's like a giant cloud that hovers over me making me feel the smallest task is just so overwhelming. My usually bright yellow aura changes to moody blue. I wish there was a way to chase this funky cloud away instead of waiting for it dissipate whenever it feels It's good and ready.
I miss reading all my favorite blogs. I miss participating in all my favorite prompt blogs. Hoping this heads or tails will help lift my blog funk and then maybe this other funk will float along for the ride.