I didn't think I would remember how to log into blogspot...it's been that long. thanks to the encouragement of my friend giggles I gave it a shot. I have nothing to rant about today. No funny husband stories to share. I probably won't even correct my run in sentences. I just thought it may help me feel better to talk about my poor little Molly. My cockapoo.. her picture right there on the right side of this blog --  

She was diagnosed with an enlarged heart in the summer. Despite the meds she is on, she isn't doing too well. The dr. had said some little dogs do very well on the meds, some go downhill quickly.  A dogs lifespan is just too short. She is only 10 and I think her breed can live as long as 16. Even 16, too young.  

She makes a hacking noise that sounds like she may vomit or cough something up, but it's just her trying to catch a good breath. Some nights she sleeps peacefully, some nights she's up all night. I give her cough meds on those nights and try to rub her belly to calm her down which also helps. 

The other day she ran in from outside and literally collapsed right in front of me.the look of panic in her beautiful brown eyes while gasping for air. Oh my god, it was so scary. I yelled out with fear, but quickly acted calm and spoke calmly to her and she was able to regain breathing and stand up okay.  I feel she is still having quality of life so I just don't have the heart to put her down. It's not her time yet. But. I know. it's soon. It's so heartbreaking to love a pet and have to lose them. I've been down this road too many times before. Two of our dogs passed away WAY too young. This is the first time I have older dogs and it sure isn't any easier on the heartstrings. 

Cosmo is going to be 13 in January. He is now hard of hearing has many lumps and bumps, arthritis in his legs, and will soon need some anal surgery! Ew. 

Our little friends touch our hearts and lives in such joyous ways. they are always there with their unconditional love, happy tails and devoted companionship. 

When they are gone, so many of my routines will be empty without them. Every time I get ready for bed, Cosmo gets slowly up from his nap, stretches and watches my moves...waiting... patiently for me to get into my bed.  He doesn't go into his doggie bed, which is right next to my side of the bed, without me going into mine or without me letting him know it's okay to go without me. He waits by the kitchen sink while I clean up, He sits by the bathroom door as I brush my teeth. If I say.. Go ahead boy you can go to bed... he will cock his  cute little head to the side and go on without me.. but if I should realize I forgot to do something in another room, and I leave that bathroom and DONT go right to bed...  I hear his little nails on the floor and he finds me and curls up right next to me again. 

I will miss these little friends so much. All I can do for them now, is give them my devoted companionship, keep them happy and love them unconditionally. 

apple turnover

Ny has been hit with one of the worst winters. There's SO much Snow everywhere I look, I am imagining it may still be here for my August Birthday. If you've visited me before, you may have read that my husband, affectionally referred to here as Mr. Petals, has always been a bit of an over thinker. Maybe you would say a perfectionist? Maybe I could say he has a bit of an OCD? Our sons on the other hand instead just say he is  F***ing CRAAAzzzy!!
SNOW removal Mr. Petals style? WELL..While every one of my neighbors deal with slushy, icy walks, stairs & driveways at their homes... those areas on our 100 x 100 lot (and even on a section of the street in front of our home!)  look like we've just had a little sprinkle of rain.

When did this obsessive,-do everything Thoroughly, -go beyond the normal- type of behavior happen to Mr. Petals??  I couldn't help wondering this when my son Nick, during the last snow storm, came to me frustrated, angry and venting his "F***ing crazzy" opinion from above.  "MOM!! he is CRAZY, he wants me to use the leaf blower and BLOW the PuDDLES!! BLOW THE PUDDLES MOM!! WE JUST SHOVELED FOR 4  F***ING  hours and NOW I have to blow puddles??!!! IS HE KIDDING ME??!!"

As I tried to give a sane answer to my beautiful boy, A memory came vividly drifting back to me... Over 30 years ago, While I was dating my Mr. Petals, I remembered HIM venting to me that HIS Dad would wake up SUPER early on the weekends and do CRAAzzzy  things like HOSE off the driveway! Wash the floor of the garage!  WASH the outdoor garbage pails! and expect his son to help him do these chores too!  I often heard frustrated angry venting back then like...
"WHO the hell cares if GARBAGE pails are dirty??" " GARage floor?? Is he F***ing CRazy??".

Hmmm.... Is it true? we all turn into our parents??

I recently visited my mom who has been a saver for many years but who has now unfortunately begun hoarding.
There were so many papers in her home that to begin the shredding process could take a lifetime. I looked around her home and just broke down crying. I've read that hoarding is typical with seniors who don't quite know what to toss and what to keep.
I came home from seeing her and immediately began tossing out papers and cleaning up draws. Organizing things that have been on my mind to organize. Thinking to myself, The apples may not fall far from the trees, but this pink lady is Going to try like hell to roll as far from her crazy tree as possible!
I'm wondering if there is an age where this all begins? After all, As teens and young adults aren't we all totally rebellious to our parents actions?  When did you begin to see signs that you're possibly turning into your parent?
As for Mr. Petals, Well.. I talked to him about his Elder Tree, and his similarities. At first he paused, as if shocked by the memory and then he just laughed like crazy, stating he is who he is and he just can't help wanting to do everything the best that it can be done. As for me, I found myself thinking about all this a lot yet focusing NOT on all the wacky stuff he's inherited, but instead on ALL the good, wonderful qualities his Dad also passed on to him and in turn I know he is passing on to our three sons
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Thinking of that made me also turn over a new leaf of acceptance when it comes to my own Elder tree.
Sadly, Maybe I WILL inherit tendencies towards clutter and disorganization but I'm happy  I've already inherited beautiful traits like my Moms love for music, singing, fun, games and Craaazzzy people.