mac less

I love my computer but I hate computers. I will be without mine for possibly 7-10 days. I took my oldest sons advice a couple of years ago and bought a mac. "Oh they are so reliable and easy and never get viruses!" Well, it would be my luck that instead of a virus I have a computer that is running hot & wild. Cds flying across the room, cds refusing to eject.Turning itself off when it should be sleeping. Who needs this nonsense? You're right however, We all need this nonsense. We are so accustomed to them. I felt like I was leaving one of my kids alone at the mall. I was wacky enough to say "take good care of him." So right now I am struggling on my sons laptap which is so uncomfortable because I am not used to it. He is also annoyed that I even want to.(he said yes, but you know how you can just see how impatient someone is feeling?) I promised not to touch anything of his, because the last time I shut it down incorrectly and closed the top!! oooohhh such a bad mom! He made me think I broke the stupid thing. After 2 years with my mac I already forgot what to do with a PC. Now I can't find spell check... Oh well, if you need me... call me

puzzled

This weeks prompt for scribblings is PUZZLED.
This week I've been puzzled by many things, what really stands out is Loneliness. I had a client almost break down as she quietly confessed how lonely she feels. It was a very sad and awkward moment. She was already in her coat getting ready to leave my salon. She has a husband, grown children and many friends. Isn't it puzzling that with all these wonderful people to share her life, she still is feeling so alone? It was a hesitant, last minute decision to share this very private, very real feeling. I hugged her and asked her to stay and we could talk, but she felt embarrassed I think and didn't want to trouble me, knowing I had an appointment to get to. How could I not reach out and try to sit and console this woman? With tears brimming, she quickly thanked me and said "don't worry" and was on her way. She left but her sadness stayed with me. How many of us are feeling lonely and have no one to confide in? I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse that people seem to want to "open up" to me. Many years ago I had asked a coworker if he had a difficult time hearing peoples woes. He said "when they leave their problems leave with them." I wish I could be that way, but I feel what they feel. I find myself thinking of these stories of sorrow while trying to live my happy little life!
On a much, MUCH lighter note, another thing I am puzzled by this week is undergarments.
I bought a beautiful dress for an upcoming wedding, but odd as it is, my girls are letting me down
I saw a show about celebrities getting ready for the oscars. They showed all these VERY big girls in thin spaghetti straps and strapless and one strapped dresses. How the hell Are THEIR girls so high-spirited? If there is a perky trick out there helping these size G girls, I need to find it. Why can't my girls soar? They've been good girls and have done very well by me. They deserve an uplifting night on the town. ( any tips or inventions welcomed!)

Miss Lucys Wild ride

Today as my son and I were driving to his doctors appointment, we were totally aghast by the sight of a burnt car flying in the air straight towards us! As we were headed West on the parkway driving in the left hand lane- a car heading East, apparently already charred, was flipping over and over as it sailed through the air. The image is still surreal. I was terrified and quickly swerved into the center lane, thank god no one was there, maybe they were and they swerved too. I swerved quickly back to the left only to see debris flying straight toward my windshield. ( my son said it was a muffler?? who knows)
I was screaming, I was crying my legs were shaking..... But my son... my 14 year old son was amazingly stoic.. He yelled "MOM Just Drive straight and fast!" Being in the left lane doing 70 when this all occurred and occurred SO quickly, I didn't stop, I didn't pull over. I just kept driving... straight and fast. I kept crying and shaking and I said " oh my god, people must have died back there, that could have been us". The image of that car flying and turning is still haunting me. I have viewed the local news and have heard nothing about it. I can't imagine how fast that car was going to become airborne. I can't imagine how many other drivers were also killed. I feel guilty that I didn't do anything. We got to his appointment on time. Like nothing had happened. It reminds me of how fragile life is, how unpredictable, how precious. Right before this all happened, I had been lecturing my son about how messy his room has been. When we were sitting in the waiting room and the shaking stopped, I apologized for caring about dirty clothes and gum wrappers. I gave him another hug. I am so grateful he is okay.
I really wish everyone would drive more carefully. In the past 10 years or so, I have seen a change on the roads.(No, it's not that I am just old). I know I have blogged about it already. I have to say it again. We are all too distracted, selfish and careless on the roads. Please, Let's all realize our cars are weapons. Please use your blinkers, Please don't drive too fast & don't tailgate, Please consider and respect others. Let's all be careful out there. One careless mistake can destroy so many lives.

A dream within a dream

Does anyone out there know how to interpret dreams? I have been experiencing some really bizarre, puzzling dreams.
On many nights I have been dreaming about babies. The bizarre thing is, I am always being neglectful of the baby. I am going about my different activities, and all of a sudden, it's like the light bulb goes off and I remember I have a baby who has not been changed or fed or held! I'm not sure if it is one of my own babies or if I am watching someone's baby. It's very disturbing and I always wake feeling very upset. One night I had a similar one about puppies.
( baby dogs). This one was more horrific because unlike the babies who are soiled, hungry and upset- These puppies were totally forgotten about in my basement. After the whole summer went by I finally remembered them and when I ran downstairs to rescue them they had disintegrated and only Huge golden powder puffs of fur were blowing around like tumble weeds! It was like a horror movie! I woke up from this one terrified! My husband thought I was influenced by that horrible scene in the movie Superman Returns, where one dog eats another. I had watched that movie a few nights before the dream. That doesn't explain the numerous forgotten baby dreams. My girlfriend thinks it means that I have way too much on my mind and I have been very forgetful, so I am worried I may forget something important. I'm not sure she is right. I am wondering If I am the baby? Am I feeling I don't take good care of myself? I do feel dreams are important puzzle pieces, illustrating what we are feeling subconsciously. What do you think? What crazy dreams do you repeatedly have? I would really love to understand these dreams. But, for tonight, I am hoping to forget them and just sleep like a baby.

Movie review

We just finished watching the movie "the departed". If you haven't seen it don't read any further, I'd hate to ruin a movie for anyone....... It was Very suspenseful, It was very interesting but I had a real problem with that ending! Sometimes films give you alternate endings. Well, my opinion is One of those alternates should always be a chick friendly finale. Turn that gruesome, violent ending into a chick flick fantasy. Leonardo lives, he gets the girl the glory the badge of merit and maybe even a sequel. Now that is something I would watch again and again. I have never been a big Leonardo DiCaprio fan, but seeing him recently in "The basketball Diaries" I was truly impressed. He really is a brilliant actor. He shows that brilliance again in "the departed". I am surprised he wasn't nominated for an award. If you've read this and you haven't seen it, See it, it was good, but you will be thinking of this and be perturbed at me or yourself for not stopping at the first line.

splish splash

My oldest son has loved the bathtub since as far back as I can remember. He can sit and soak forever. When he would come home from college on breaks, I would hear that water running and know that bathroom would be occupied for at least an hour. When he was in his younger years, I would always be able to tell when he was very stressed or frustrated at school. Those afternoons, instead of reaching for a snack, he would say "Mom, I feel like taking a bath".
Me on the other hand, I am a shower person. The other day I was feeling a bit stressed and thought I would take a cue from my wise oldest son. "I wish I was a bath person" was my thought. I made the water nice and hot, I added Dove body wash to have some bubbly effect, I lit many candles and placed them esthetically around the tub and over by the sink. I made a cup of Trader Jos bedtime tea. Slowly, I sank into this soothing, luxurious retreat. At first I breathed many cleansing breaths as if doing lamaze again. I closed my eyes, my fingers and toes started relaxing. My extremely tight neck felt looser- I thought, Gee why don't I ever take the time to do this? This is wonderful! After about 15 minutes of soaking and watching the steam rise off my bubbles, something happened that reminded me of What had happened years ago in a Hot yoga class. I felt this immense rush of crushing heat rising from somewhere below my waist up to my head, along with the worst pounding headache. The news headline of NAKED STROKE VICTIM passed through my mind. I couldn't stand up and get that Cold shower on quick enough. To Hell with those strategically aligned candles. They will have to get rinsed too. It took me a long time afterwards to get my body temperature back to normal. I put on summer pjs. I took 3 advils. My face was so red I could have burst into flames at any moment. Once you are in your 40's you don't fool around when racing pain goes to your head.
I'm Crushed that I'm just not a "relax and soak in the tub" kind of girl.

yummy

This weeks scribblings prompt brought to mind many naughty things.
Things Like Chocolate. Chocolate covered caramels. Chocolate covered nuts. Chocolate peanut-butter cups. Those are all the yummy favorites I usually receive on Valentines Day. This year However, I have instructed my lover, lover man to PLEASE stay away from my favorite chocolate shop. I am doing well on weight watchers this week and don't want to self destruct.
Yummy also brings to mind what I am cooking for dinner right now. On this cold February night- How does a delicious pot of beef stew sound? NO- Not Great for weight watchers but as long as I don't buy the italian bread that I usually enjoy dunking in the gravy, I will be able to eat a human amount.
Really quick here's this easy YUMMY recipe-
2 lbs of beef stew meat ( I go to my butcher and ask for that- Not sure what beef this actually is)
2 potatoes ( peeled and diced)/
2 potatoes (peeled and cut up)/ fresh or canned mushrooms/
a bag of carrots ( peeled & cut up)/ 1 can of peas/ approx. 2-3 cups of water/
An Onion and garlic (diced)/ 2 tbsp. of olive oil /
Small can of tomato sauce/ S&P/old bay seasoning

In a 4-qt. pot-
Saute the onions/garlic and beef till browned in the oil, ( 1st picture) then cover and simmer for 30 minutes
meanwhile prepare your vegetables ( 2nd Picture)
then add the 2 diced potatoes/ carrots /fresh mushrooms/ the water only from the cans of peas and mushrooms/ Salt & Pepper/old bay seasoning /1/2 of the small can of tomato sauce & approx. 2-3 cups of water (use less if using fresh mushrooms) ( If you don't like your carrots and mushrooms mushy like i do, you can add them later with the other potatoes)
Simmer for 1- 2 hours or more. One hour before eating add the other 2 cut up potatoes
(My discovery is that the diced potatoes get really mushy and thicken up the gravy so you don't need to add flour!
10 min. before eating add the canned peas ( if using canned mushrooms add them now too) mmmmm very yummy and should serve 4 normal people -in our house it serves 3!.
(took pic before adding the peas,to post it quicker)

It's a world of laughter a world of tears

So often I am blown away by what a small world we live in.
Recently though, I had a chilling day when one of my clients (I'll call her Mary) thought another client (Sadie) looked very familiar. Both these women are in their mid 70's. Knowing they had both raised their kids in my area, I suggested maybe their kids went to high school together? "No!", Mary was insistent- "That's not it!". Then I suggested - Are you both from the same church? Again Mary- Very sharp and determined - " That's not it". Meanwhile Poor Sadie sat clueless and bewildered as Marys face & name didn't ring a bell. All of a sudden Mary Jumps up and yells " Oh MY GOD! I went to high school with you!"
Was your name Sadie So&So?? Is your sister Sandy So&So??? Well, the emotions and reminiscing that followed left me chilled, teary and unable to work! They had both lived in Brooklyn and high school was more than 55 years ago.
Mary was BEST friends with Sadie's sister. Sadie's husband was friends with Marys brother. What really broke me up though, was as they were asking each other- have you seen Frankie or Joe or Sandy or Chicky.... the answers were almost always the same...... Gone! ( Oh dear, I was so depressed.) They named about 15 names ( including their spouses) and my goodness gracious they had all passed away. I thought it odd, since the average life expectancy ( I think) is the mid 80's. How sad for these two people to have lost so many friends. They responded with shock and tears on some of the unexpected passings. They also got very quiet at one point as if trying to digest all of this distasteful new information on so many old acquaintances. What also blew me away, when Sadie was ready to leave- there were no hugs or phone numbers exchanged. I thought for sure they would have wanted to spend more time talking about old times.
Instead Sadie said "Wow, such a small world, what a small world". Mary just shook her head in agreement.
I think their memories were too sweet, their journey too quick and their loss too heartbreaking.
It was such a reminder of how short a time we all have and how important it is to adore each precious day & each precious person.

super bowl sunday

Put on a happy face

5 things that made me happy this week
ONE- being tagged by Jane
(My wonderful blogging buddy) to do this prompt.
TWO- After an ER trip and a serious scare with my youngest son
finding out he is A- OKAY!
THREE-Having an amazing girlfriend give me sound advice and a loving shoulder when I really needed it
FOUR- eating 3 delicious pieces of Pizza (despite weight watchers)
FIVE- Celebrating my middle sons 20th birthday!
Thanks Jane! I thought it was an awful week- but you helped me see there was good, indeed!

What's so good about goodbye

When is it time to end a friendship? Whether that friendship is with a relative or a friend. How much pain should one person endure just to keep another person you love in your life? When a loving relationship become a heartache-Is that the time to Stop trying? When one person is apparently not willing to be forgiving or compromising? Should one continue loving unconditionally even if the others love is NOT unconditional? If you are left feeling abandoned and betrayed, If you are disrespected and dishonored. If you are totally misunderstood and judged unfairly. If your many attempts at reconnecting are met with a vicious, indifferent, unloving attitude, I guess it is time to say
Goodbye.