Sunday, April 22, 2012

Marriage is a marathon of give and take

My husband and I had an argument yesterday. It was so upsetting but thankfully it's so rare. We really get along very well and since arguing is NOT my forte yet he could argue the fleas off a dog, I am relieved it's infrequent. As we are growing old together some of our annoying traits seem to be getting the best of us. He for example, WON'T admit to it, but he repeats his statements and questions, OFTEN. I am not trying to act like an angel here because I admit I do have some very annoying traits, but I have to say... I wouldn't even mind him repeating himself to me, I would patiently keep repeating the same answer, but WHY I get so annoyed and a bit bitchy is because i KNOW if i did this to him, he would be impatient and SCREAM... 'I already told you this!!!"  So ...really, that makes this HIS fault? right?! come on...  RIGHT!!!
As a matter of fact, most of my impatient reactions are only because (the sicilian? or bitch? in me) I have to give him a dose of his own medicine.  

An annoying habit of mine (so HE claims), is that I complain .... A LOT.   I used to listen to his criticism, and try to be conscious of when I did it, so I could try to curb it... but after ALL these years married... it started dawning on me several years ago.... He is WAYyyyy out complaining me!  Trying to argue my point  with this expert arguer would be futile... so i dealt with it in a new way.... I began imitating Mr. Petals at every situation where I just KNEW a complaint would be certain. 

(for example)..EVERY single time we have ever driven down a particular secondary road to get to a shopping center, he has always negatively commented.... 'Who in their right mind would buy these big homes on this busy street?"   So now.... before we get to the big homes... In my big, booming, best Mr. Petals Voice... I say...
(exaggerating my point with a REAL heavy brooklyn ny accent, which he doesn't have but I love to imitate).... 'WhO the hell would buy these freakin homes on this shitty street?? are these stupid people out of their F***ing minds???? ' husband cracks up laughing at himself.     (genius, no??)
It's been working every time!   When we witness someone driving like a moron.... I BEAT him to the punch...  "Freaking Asshole...get off the F***ing road!"....       He seems to be getting my point and has really cut back on all this senseless complaining!     

Marriage truly is a test of endurance, we all hope its a long distance test. I am finding the best way to ensure it continues, is to find a balance of love, patience, communication and a lot of (freaking) humor.    

sunday scribblings


Old Egg said...

I loved this. The humor was beautiful and how could he complain when you are merely voicing his thoughts again (OK it is a parody, but he won't notice that he thinks you are agreeing with him!)

Giggles said... are my friend right? Anyway not to side with Mr Petals....BUUUTT....He is a few years older right? The thing is you are yet to get there....but sometimes it's harder to absorb trivial things when you age!! It's like the computer is loaded and keeps dropping useless information... so it can keep the big stuff!! lol My one friend said when you forget, it's like a new experience everyday!! This is definitely why one should play scrabble.... then it doesn't happen as often!! Great read....welcome back my beautiful friend!!

Hugs Giggles

Lucy said...

thanks old egg! too funny!
and GIGGLES.... Yes you are MY... eh hmmm MY friend!!! only kidding... glad u took his side! but my point is not that he is is that if i was being forgetful..he would be so impatient! I have to tell u ...u are so right about scrabble and memory games... It's really improved mine compared to a few years back! hope you're well, talk to u soon xoxo

Andy Sewina said...

Phew, great post, love the Brooklyn accent bit, marriage can be a real marathon sometimes!!!

Jae Rose said...

Yes this piece was so full of warmth and humour..and love..Jae

beeguiler said...

Sounds like you two know how to keep your stride ... thanks for sharing Lucy!!!


Bone said...

Love this. I smiled throughout. And I think the beat-him-to-the-punch idea is a stroke of genius.