THE BIG SALAD CAPER

 My husband and I wanted to take his mom for a nice lunch before an appointment we had to take her to.

We decided on just going to her local diner because my husband is on a special diet and we  thought they would have the plain salad he needed.
After ordering and stressing to the waiter that he needed his dressing on the side the waiter replied "all our salads come with the dressing on the side." The salad came of course soaked in dressing, my husband nicely asked for it to please be replaced with a salad without dressing.
My mother-in-law and I finished our lunch, visited the ladies room and had coffee before my husband's salad came back soaking wet with the faint taste of dressing as it had been obviously rinsed.
At this point we were going to be late for mom's appointment so my husband nicely called over  the manager and explained what happened. He replied, "of course its rinsed, that's what we do." My husband said well no thank you I am not going to eat this and of course I am not paying for it, to which the manager said in a nasty tone "why don't you just eat the chicken that's on top of it"! 

Befuddled, My  husband looked at him and like he was talking to someone from another planet he said "I don't want the chicken.I don't want the salad". The manager then THREW a takeout box at the table near my husband and said "well then take it home because you ARE paying for it." My husband calmly said "you may as well call the police because I don't pay for garbage put on on a plate and that is exactly what this soaked salad is. "

We paid the bill SANS the salad, tipped the waiter generously as that's what we do, it wasn't his fault after all and we left and got into the car.
The obnoxious manager came running out in the down pouring rain to write down our license plate number!!

(It was hysterically funny when mom saw him and blurted out from the backseat.."OH PLEASE! RUN THAT LITTLE BASTARD OVER!!!"  Glad she wasn't driving!!)

We wished we had the time to wait for the police which  bizarre as it sounds they actually must have called judged by how the employees were expectantly gawking out the dirty window before we left.

Never have we experienced such a horrible, rude dining experience. In hindsight though,what  I think we should have done was charged the entire bill and then disputed with the credit card company because leaving cash on the table makes it their word against ours should we be arrested for petty larceny!!

I would like to think that what my husband expressed to me is true, that the police have WAY more important things to handle and would have been very perturbed to be bothered by such nonsense but since we were driving MY CAR and I am NOT as confident as him  about how police policies or police thoughts or actions work, Or as confident about how I'd fare in jail,
I've been  looking over my shoulder  for weeks now. 

Outraged by our unfair treatment, many friends have advised me to give them a bad Yelp review. Yeah? really? tattling? hmm, That just goes against the ways of my  (italian) people but more importantly  I'm sure that will only reveal my whereabouts.

I prefer to remain ... lucy on the lam.