FAMILY. The word alone makes me mushy with love and pride. The family my husband and I have created is our world. It's what I had always dreamed about as a young girl, coming from a very small, unconventional family. I think this ferocious desire for a close family started as young as three years old. The year my dad died. Most everyone I knew in suburbia had the traditional Mom and Dad family. Many little kids were astonished to find out, My family had kids and only.. a Mom! There were times I felt my identity was that of a fatherless child. My mothers extended family wasn't large, so we didn't socialize with many relatives. To make matters worse, my fathers family abandoned us after he had died. As a young child, I didn't even realize they were missing from my life. As I got older, I started to question it. How in the world did his parents and siblings just wipe us out after he was gone? As an adult, I can't imagine this. After the funeral, they hopped in their cars and headed back to brooklyn, leaving long island and their
blood in the exhaust fumes. Allowing us to try to pick up the pieces on our own. My mom has no idea why they became so distant. I've assumed that maybe they hated my mom, maybe they were heartless and ignorant. Maybe, we were too painful a reminder of my father. No matter my imaginings, I still find it bizarre, totally cold and unloving. How do grandparents turn their backs on three grandkids under age 12? What ever their reasons... I thank them. Their relinquishment is partly responsible for the ferocious drive I had to create the kind of family I had always yearned for myself. There Coldheartedness aided in making me, the caring, unconditional loving mom, That is NOW my very proud identity. I felt determined from a young age to someday have children, a family of my very own. This intense desire actually prevented me from taking the risks that many of my generation were taking. In the back of my mind I would always think... No, this is unsafe and may hurt my chances of having children.
My husband and I are so happy that we've provided a strong family unit for our 3 very wanted, adored children. Through the years, the family life we started with and imagined would continue has had many ups and downs, many curve balls that could easily have weakened our strong family link. When my eldest was only 12, my middle son 9 and my youngest 3 (coincidentally the ages my siblings and I were when my dad passed away ) my husband had a serious injury and was out of work for a year. I had to stop being a 'stay at home' mom and start working again. The love and support we had always given to our kids must have been a powerful example because their loving qualities really blazed to the surface. They became amazingly understanding and supportive through that awful year. My oldest son asked if he could start a car washing business with his 9 year old brother, so they could help us pay the bills. They were also my husbands 'hands' as my husband verbally guided them through daily chores like preparing dinner, cleaning and helping with the baby. It was rough for many years after his injury, but We are a
family. A family needs to sticks together through thick and thin, good times and bad. We now also look at this particular part of those rough years.. with Thanks. If not for the face of adversity, we may never have been able to witness the astonishing character and inner strength that emerged from very young boys, our boys...Our treasured Family.
In this pic.our boys are approximately 14, 11, and 6 years old.
Wonderful topic
Sunday Scribblings! Thanks
writers island for the great noun and adjective that helped me express myself a little better!
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