Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Good Golly! Miss Molly

When we first were married, we got a beautiful Bichon Frise we named Blinky. We read all the books, did all the right things, including sending him to obedience school. As you "dog people" know, obedience school is really for the humans. They teach US how to train our pooches. It was great, Blinky would sit and stay, he would come when called,he walked beautifully on his leash, he even shook hands. The trend continued with our next dog a gorgeous wheaten terrier. She was even more intelligent than Blinky. I swore she was human. Her big brown eyes spoke volumes. She would listen better than most kids.( I think I will never get over her death)
Then a few years later, Cosmo comes along. Life was busy, kids were busy. I was always busy. We spent some time with the old dittos on training. He sits and will stay for a few seconds. He can dance around on his hind legs. He can even roll over( well, it's more of a half turn). Walking him however would be described as him taking you for a run. That brings me to my troublesome cockapoo, MOLLY. It is really not her fault that she is SO disobedient. When she came along 2 years ago, Life was even busier, The kids were busier + I was busier (and Older and more tired too)! Now that you have the background let me tell you about today.

Today was another dog grooming nightmare! Molly is terrified of EVERYTHING. Lately, she won't even go outside at night unless accompanied by Mr. Cosmo. ( her lover lover dog)(She worries about those noisy crickets) She whimpers outside as if she is scared of her own shadow. She is a nervous wreck if she goes in the car. Just Forget taking her for a walk! So today, when I walked her to the car on her leash to go into the car to go to the groomer, she pulled so hard, her collar popped open and she just took off! She ran so fast up our street, I ran after her (I don't really run so well) She was like lightening, Like a terrified rabbit, being chased by a wolf ( or by a screaming woman, purse flailing, high heeled sandals pounding) She rounded the corner and was a blur. I was so frightened. If a car was on the street, she would have run right into it. I ran back home to get my car. There was no way I was getting her on foot. Mind you, What I forgot to mention, Mr. Cosmo was going to the groomer too. He is already in the car and he is BARKING like fucking lassie yelling TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE. I hope none of the neighbors were looking out their windows. I was like an adrenaline crazed Lunatic. I am screaming for him to be quiet - I am looking for the keys- I am needing to urinate BADLY. Then a miracle happens. Miss Molly- she comes back to me! Maybe it was Cosmos barking - maybe he wasn't saying "trouble" maybe it was " get your ass back here you crazy bitch".( an actual "dog word") Whatever it was- I was so relieved. I was so exhausted - I still had to get these maniacs to their scheduled appointment. So I put Molly in the crate with Cosmo ( she is so naughty, she has to be crated in the car, she likes to ride ontop of my head, while I am driving) and off we went.
Thank god she is safe, she is home, she is clean and she is outside whimpering at all the evil crickets.
(by the way- there would be a photo of her - but she can't "sit and stay" long enough to take one)


Anonymous said...

I feel your pain, girlfriend. You know how challenged my doggie is!

Anonymous said...

Gee Lucy, Al and Molly should get together - what a pair that would be!

You are a FANTASTIC story teller. I judge things by if a story has made me laugh out loud. All that running, barking and craziness brought tears of LAUGHTER trickling out of my eyes!!

Lucy said...

ann- you would love that!

ally- trust me- she got NO instructions at all!!

lyn- we should get them into group therapy!

spider-Al can join the group therapy! glad I made you laugh!

myrtle beached whale said...

you knew I would love this.