Baloney fluency

For the Sunday scribblings prompt... fluent. I want to repeat an older story about HOW fluent I've become in the art of bull shit.
Usually, In my profession, no matter how you are feeling or what is going wrong in your life.. If you want to keep your clients coming back, you need to put on a happy face and listen to and respond to all the bullshit that some people need to talk about, with MORE bullshit. Although your head may be pounding or your heart aching or your nerves shattered, you need to make their visit all about THEM. Lucky for me that of late, I am not faced with this dilemma TOO often. Most of my clients are well liked and friends as well, and the conversations are really enjoyable, very honest and sincere . A normal exchange of interesting topics, as well as Me sharing my life with them and No bullshit what so ever!

Oh, But though those days, when I am faced with my most challenging clients.... the B.S., like green mold, just keeps spreading. Today (while covered in mold) I thought... It's peculiar, but they never touched on the art of bullshit back in beauty school. They did warn- "never talk politics or religion with your clients!" (they may have warned about sex talk too, but that's the best topic in my place) Yet, the art of bullshit! Which I think is AS essential for any successful hairstylist to know as good haircutting, needs to be self-taught. I've become QuiTe fluent in this art after all my years of experience. What you need is a harmonious blend of courtesy, combined with common-sense, combined with a Big-Phony-Baloney-sense (and a strong stomach too). If I were to establish and teach B.S. 101, it would include daring challenges like .. how to handle self-absorbed, narcissistic,loquacious, rude people, who will expect you to listen to endless chatter about How difficult it is to get ready for their much needed upcoming trip to the bahamas. I would also hand out garlic to chew and place my students in mock situations, demonstrating how a client may ramble on with pointless bullshit for 45 minutes (With foul breath) about their son in laws relatives being horrible with blow by blow accounts of EVeRy situation with these horrible people. People you've never met, never hope to meet and could really give a shit about! The student hairdresser would be required to stand there on their tired legs, looking interested, convincingly shaking their head in disbelief or whatever gesture is appropriate and interjecting B.S. expressions like "OH No!" and 'That's terrible of them". Thereby mastering the performance of an attentive, caring listener who can also implement the art of an excellent haircut, all while feeling totally irritated, trapped and nauseated by the odor with a longing to sit down and a desire to give their clients tongue a good trim as well. That's what I would call a B.S. Pro! give that student an A+!