Inside the fortress of CRAZY!

Every week your trash is picked up but do u ever really pay much attention? I always remember our collectors at Christmas time,  If I am outside while they're out front, I wave. That's about it. Although, when my kids were small and we were always outside, I do remember offering a drink occasionally on a hot summers day, and of course there was that classic time at christmas when i ran down the street screaming for the 3 garbage men ...well that's a story that deserves it's own post at another time... anyway..

Mr. Petals?... he doesn't miss a beat  "We must have a new garbage man working on the truck". According to my crazy husband, this new guys 'signature' is turning ONE pail upside down, which is turning Mr. Petals inside out! A few weeks ago he comes inside all gruff ( i think he even grunted). "AGAIN! Why they have to turn the pail upside down, I have NO Idea! makes it more difficult for me now! " Then a few days later he says to me (as if it's the first I am hearing it..)  "This must be this new guys signature...One up and one upside down, it's so stupid!"  I resisted saying 'You told me this already'... (ie..see 'marriage is a marathon'  post below.)

A few days ago when we're driving down our street... he points out SEVERAL homes in our neighborhood... YUP... One down and the others UP!  AGAIN.... he tells me "look..LOOK at this... this is this BASTARDS signature!"   I HAD to finally say... "honey you've told me this already,I know, I know.. it's his SIGNATURE garbage pail maneuver, he's trying to leave his mark all over our town.

YESTERDAY was my breaking point, but thankfully I broke into a fit of laughter instead of  screaming at him... when he came in all irritated and said "this F***ing garbage man... this must be his signature move... one up one down..  what the hell? "  I was washing dishes at the time and literally FELL over into my kitchen sink hysterically laughing!!  At that point ... he realized he had said this to me BEFORE!  i pointed out...MaNY times before and he went into a fit of laughter!  I said... is this how our old age is going to be??  

I guess as my memory gets worse, I won't even notice his repetitiveness. (unless he is standing on his head)

Lather, rinse. DON'T REPEAT!

With the price of running a household out of control, we have been trying to cut back on costs like everyone else in the world. All those phrases that i hated when i was a kid, those phrases that made me look at my mom like she was a wacko, I am using THoSe phrases now! "Close the refrigerator door" "turn off those lights" "lower the heat" and Mr. Petals famous one...
" don't take such long hot showers!" Our kids are really finding this hard to take, especially the showers! The other day my middle son had me hysterically laughing, giving me his account of our crazy household..
Let me explain first...a few months ago our bathroom exhaust fan broke. The kids kept flipping the switch to the on position out of habit, before they showered. ( keep in mind.. busy crazy people think about putting tape over the switch, but don't get around to it!!)
My husband kept yelling.. "WHO put the fan on? DON'T USE THE FAN! You are going to cause a fire!" It took a lot of yelling to remind them that it was broken. Finally one day, my husband decided to fix the darn thing. My middle son who is hardly ever home, has No idea it is fixed. So he keeps showering without the fan, so he DOESN'T cause a fire, which causes so much condensation in there. So he gets out of the shower one day and later hears his dad yelling.. WHose NOT using the fan? Put the fan ON when u shower!!
My son was so confused!! (busy crazy people assumed this kid knew it was fixed now!!) it took a while to get BACK in the habit of using the fan, so the 'reminder yelling' was a constant part of this crazy household. Hearing HIM tell this fan story was just priceless! If the fan confusion wasn't enough, He is SO used to being told to STOP taking SUch LONG showers that one day he gets home from work and we are all sleeping.... he goes into the bathroom to shower and sees this...

a TIMER on top of the shower doors! The kids thinks to himself .... "What the F@#*??? Am I suppose to be TIMING my shower now?? These people are CRAZZZZYY!! He comes into my room and whispers to me...
'Mom, Mom.. wake up... Is DAD expecting me to TIME my showers now?' I have NO idea what he is saying and WHy he is waking me. I am in a coma, I mumble something senseless to him and go back to sleep and don't remember this question until....Last night! When my son had me crying with laughter about this timer... He told me he was telling his friends... 'My dad is CRAZZY, there is a timer in the bathroom .. I think I am suppose to take a shower for like 9 minutes and 43 seconds or something!!!! But No ONe has YeLLEd at me to do this yet! Do I use the timer? do I not use the timer?'
When this son tells a story, it is like listening to a stand up comic... It took me so long due to my hysterical laughter to finally tell him.... 'The timer is there so your brother can time the medicine he is suppose to leave on for his psoriasis!' BUT when Mr. Petals caught the gist of what caused this laugher fit... I saw the expression he had on and KNEW that he was thinking the idea of timing their showers may be genius!