Somedays, aren't yours at all

Why is my body betraying me so much? I feel like, for every positive baby step I take forward, my body takes 2 giant negative steps backwards. I haven't been feeling well lately, I kept blaming menopause, but after feeling faint while driving the other day, I decided to listen to my dr. and see a neurologist. He took an hours worth of notes on all that's been going on and Now i am waiting for authorization for another mri. Meanwhile, yesterday, despite feeling shitty from this cold I've been fighting, I made the stupid decision to NOT cancel my zumba class and I showed up to teach.

After 45 min into the class, I started getting those same scary feelings... black spots in front of my eyes, the sound of the music became muffled, I was lightheaded, clammy and nauseous, I knew I was going to go down. I stopped the music and told the class I wasn't feeling well and needed a minute. Thank goodness my good friend was in my class, she came running and had me sit down and prevented my fainting. Also, one of my students coincidentally was a dr. and she came running as well. She wanted to call an ambulance, because she couldn't feel my pulse and the dizziness was Not passing. Long story shortened, i instead saw my dr.(well, her NP) who said I have a sinus infection. I'm not saying I know MORE than a nurse practitioner, but I know MY body and MY history and I feel I had such POOR medical care. I was feeling SO lethargic and was FREEZING with chills, even though I had no fever, yet she didn't do any blood work. My history shows my blood count goes dangerously low when I'm sick. I came home from that appointment and stayed under a million blankets and just shook for hours! I slept for 15 hours. Today I am still light headed and am so scared to feel faint again while home alone. I know it's silly to feel so pessimistic but between this problem, my knee problems, and my migraines... I am worried that my much desired zumba career, may have to be nixed. I don't know why, but whenever I don't feel well, I just cry like a big baby. I also, can't help but think THE WORST. My Aunt died of brain cancer, My Grandma died before I was born due to a heart attack in her sleep at age 55! I am scared to be sick. I wish I could be an optimistic person. But, I keep hearing of SO many young people with dreadful circumstances, I am worried I will be one too. (here come the tears again) Somedays, it's just not possible to be the positive Lucy who is always looking for the good. :(