Showing posts with label gaslight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gaslight. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Brain Fog

I swear my family is trying to gaslight me.
Have you ever seen this suspenseful 1944 film? Ingrid Bergman is being driven crazy by her evil husband (charles Boyer). He tricks her into thinking that she is forgetting everything. ( btw.. It is amazing How much Ingrid Bergman looks like Debra Messing) I am either being 'gas-lighted' by my family or I am really going cuckoo.
Last week I had bought dried apricots and Medaglia D'Oro Caff' ( I love adding a few TBsP of espresso in with my regular ground coffee (and cinnamon) Anyway.. I go to eat an apricot and they are already opened. I ask my older son (the only other apricot lover) He claims he never opened it. I assume someone in the store tampered with them, No way will I eat them. Then yesterday I go to use the coffee and IT'S OPENED ALREADY TOO! Again, everyone claims they didn't open it. Considering it takes a can opener to open this item, I really doubt it was tampered with in the store. My husband ( Boyer in disguise) claims I am so forgetful that I opened it and forgot. (I could swear he even sounded like Boyer when he said this!) This is one example of them gas-lighting me. I know I am in perimenopause and have been more forgetful lately, but I KNOW I would remember taking out the electric can opener and opening that freaking coffee! At what point should we consider being forgetful serious enough to look into? I am going to be 49 this August, Can I really be experiencing the beginnings of Alzheimer's already? It is a terrifying thought. Years ago a wise friend told me. "You are like a Christmas tree with way too many ornaments on you. Take OFF some ornaments/ balls and give them to your children". I listened to her, and gave more of my chores to my boys. Lately, However, I am right back to my old habits of doing E V E R Y T H I N G! I feel so overwhelmed at times. My mind is full of all the things I need to accomplish. It also holds lists, doctors appt.'s to keep and make, Who needs what script called in, Birthdays, anniversarys,The families schedule, The names of all my clients, their spouses and kids and EVEN their grandkids names! For goodness sakes, No wonder I can't remember Apricots and coffee. Maybe I'm not being brainwashed or having Alzheimer's, maybe my little brains inbox is full and I need to torridly delete any junk that is taking up valuable space. I think I am going to invent a way to wear my pen and pad around my neck like people do with their glasses. This way, I can jot down Anything that pops in my head and free my brains branches of burdensome balls of bullshit. ( hey.. try to say that 3 times fast!)

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