whew, I got it.

So I drag myself home today after running around town, patronizing many shops in an atmosphere THICK with heat and humidity.
My head was pounding and I wasn't sure if it was due to the heat or dehydration or if it was my 4 pm caffeine withdrawal hitting harder than usual. As soon as I drank a glass of water and washed my hands I began fumbling..(yes fumbling and shaking) quickly getting my dirty coffee pot pieces out of the dishwasher and quickly hand washing them. As I dug my still damp shaky hand into my HUGE costco bag of dunken donuts coffee to locate the buried scooper, cursing it for being buried, it occurred to me... THIS must be what a drug addict feels like as they are desperately awaiting that next fix! I didn't care that the grounds of coffee were sticking under my finger nails and onto my rings. I didn't care that I was making a coffee mess on my counter. I didn't even care that I hadn't Thoroughly washed my electric pots basket and cover. I was only focused on the perk. Get it perking. Get it in my blood stream. Get rid of the headache. Get it Get it Get it. My infusion of caffeine will Cure the headache, Cure the exhaustion, cure the dragging and Allow me to get that second wind to prepare dinner. Ahhhh the darkness of the full bodied rich roast! My knees weaken as I pour and savor the distinct, intense premium bean aroma!
Then the sip! Piping hot, strong, robust flavor with a bite to it! I close my eyes, feel it enter my veins. The hectic day of running errands drains away and I Thank god my drug of choice is legal AND sold in bulk. Care to join me for a cup?


visit three word wednesday!

Where in the world?

Sunday Scribblings asks us....
Where in the World? Have you ever stood still and scratched your head and said, 'Where in the world?' Is there somewhere in the world you would love to go? Are you looking for someone or something or a place that makes sense to you? Where in the world are you?

Sometimes if I stop and think too long about Where in the world I am or where in the world I am going.. I think I may just cry.
Sometimes my world seems like an escalator to nowhere, an escalator that keeps taking me back and forth through life's daily necessities and routines. My escalator stops often for the needs of others. Weekly it leads me to Costco and the grocery store and back down to home again. Then It's up again...off to purchase beauty supplies for work, take my son to a dr.'s appointment, take my dogs to the vet. Pick up someone's prescription, drop off the dry cleaning, Pick it up next week.... Don't misunderstand... very often this escalator leads me to Happy Lucy days. A zumba class, A day at the beach, an afternoon with a friend, an evening at the theater. But really, even with a break in the routine, even with enjoying the happy times and frequent laughter that occurs within the ho hum routines... Where in the world am I going?? Is this all there should be to ones life? A series of routine chores and work sprinkled with bits of enjoyment?
In 3 weeks I will turn 50. I am feeling like there has to be more for me. More to me. I have so many ideas that I wanted to cultivate, Yet I never seem to have the time for them. I am feeling so happy and so alive and having SO much fun when I am dancing at my zumba class, that I've actually toyed with the idea of training to be an instructor, yet I think of my age and say... get real Lucy! My husband thinks it's not foolish, he wants me to just 'go for it' (maybe he has watched Rocky one to many times) Or, Maybe I should just go for it? Go for something. something fun. Reach for anything exciting. As I get older, I keep hearing Cyndi Lauper's words and repeating them as my mantra.. 'girls just want to have fun'.. and I DO! I really want to just have fun!
Sometimes, asking where in the world you are can make you cry but sometimes it can also make you try. Trying to imagine where you may be going may just help get you there.

I always want to give people the benefit of the doubt. I have to go through life believing that most people are basically Good. Believe That they want to feel good about "doing the right thing". Last week our son accidently tapped a car in the parking lot at work. He ran inside the building to ask who's car he had hit. The owner came outside and exchanged numbers with my husband, but because the damage wasn't too bad, She said she would get an estimate and let him know.
Later on at work.. My son was talking to that woman's son.. They walked outside to see the dent and then her son exclaimed to my son... OH THAT DENT WAS THERE ALREADY! When my husband took a second look at our own car that night... he realized that we just had a few scratches and to make the large dent that the other car had it probably would have caused SOMEthing more on ours! So when the dented owner called him a few days later... My husband told her what her son had said and explained how he felt we didn't have enough damage to cause such a dent. She denied the dent was hers! and on the spot Asked her son if he had said that the dent was there already. Of course, he lied and said NO! She said her son must have been remembering the dent on the other side of the car! SO, what are we to do? NOT believe her?? Then!! to make her lie even MORE obvious... she offered to SPLIT the estimated cost with us! SPLIT it? WHY?? If she didn't have that dent already.. WHY is she being SO kind to total strangers?? Good Samaritan or no good S.O.B.? Even though we have our doubts.. we paid up and want to feel good about 'doing the right thing'. ( but doubt sure puts a damper on feeling good.)

easy as 123

Today I did some math in my loopy head...
There are 65 days left of summer...
I have messy drawers and cabinets all over my home that
are overwhelming me and making me crazy.
I cannot bear to spend a summer day off
cleaning all day. And drawers?? They are worse
than dusting!! So.. I came up with The Perfect plan!
To begin, I started counting the messy drawers..
let's see... the desk I sit at to blog.. has 7 messy drawers...
Two of our bedrooms? (the older kids are on their own)
26 messy drawers (I need more fingers..)
but let me see.. so far...33..
then the kitchen? Yikes... 10 more
(EAsy adding 10) .. we're now at 43..
two more in dining area..45
Okay... So here is my brilliant Solution to this mathematical clutter equation ..
Do only ONE drawer each day and still have 20 days to spare! I CAN have these
all clean before autumn! Why didn't I think of it sooner?! and ONE drawer?.. i mean
HOW long can ONE take?.. I will start with ONE messy top desk drawer RIGHT NOW...
(hang on a sec...)

Gee that was REALLY easy, easy as pie! ... I just grabbed all the crap and threw it in the bottom
drawer of the desk. but, let me think... if I do that each day, then by day 7 I will have ONE very big job that will most likely be an all day job which will totally overwhelm me again...
I cannot BEAR to waste a summer day with this kind of job!!
(I was never very good at Math or planning )

My first haiku

hypnotic roses

drip with beauty of summer

shift sulks into smiles

This is my youngest son Joey and I at the planting fields Arboretum.
It was a gorgeous day but Of course like many teens.. He was a bit sullen about coming along. This gorgeous arbor of Roses had my spirit beaming and helped bring him around to really enjoying the day!
hope u visit 3 word wednesday!

Life is like an onion:

You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. (Carl Sandburg)

When my eldest son was about 15 months old, I took him over to a local church to check out a gymboree program that was going to be starting up. I thought it would not only be a fun thing for us to do together, but would also be a good way for me to make new friends in this new town. The Church smelled like mildew ( something I am allergic to) and I wasn't crazy about the people running the program or the cleanliness of the area. So, I hoisted up my little one onto my hip and was preparing to leave when I heard a "PsssssT" I turned around to see a cute, friendly Mom also with her son on her hip. She whispered.. "This place sucks! Follow me, I heard of another one about 10 minutes from here" and she described where it was located. I buckled up my baby in his car seat and proceeded to follow this total stranger to the better place. Well, sure enough, she was right.. it was better, So Lyn and I both signed our babies up to attend the same class each week. Fast Friendships formed for our boys and for us. After the gymboree years our boys attended preschool together. Unfortunately, They were zoned for different elementary schools so as is sometimes typical with kids, the play-dates seemed to slowly diminish as they made more and more friends in their own schools. Lyn and I talked on the phone occasionally, but now, what with her having 3 more kids and 2 more for me. Life just got so busy and stressful and sad as it is..friendships, although always in your heart, sometimes grow more distant than you would have liked them to be. Through the years we would run into each other and we always felt the same warmth as if it had been only yesterday that we had talked.

At my sons high school graduation, we had arrived a little late. My husband and I, Our two younger kids and My in-laws were scanning the Huge humid gym to see if there were any seats left for us. All of a sudden I hear.... ' Luuuuuu" UP HERE !! I saved you seats! ' There she was again.. leading me to ...the better place. I awkwardly climbed those ridiculous bleachers in my sundress that I now wished were the shorts I almost chose. I sat down next to Lyn and began to well up with tears! I hugged her and realizing the poignancy said.."oh my god! we were together at gymboree Lyn! and here we are together again as they GRADUATE!!". There couldn't have been anyone I would have rather had at my side at that moment.

Here we now are seven years later. Lyn has been through quite a lot in recent years, worries that i feel are not my right to disclose. Dealing with worries that would have most Moms falling apart, Lyn remained a rock for all who surrounded her. I've always been the friend who wore her heart on her sleeve and Lyn has always been the one to say, with her bright warm smile.. "every thing's fine!!" (when i knew her worries were much more serious).
i just found out the tragic news that Lyn's husband passed away. My heart breaks for her and for her children. Just when you think you can't handle one more problem, Life throws one out of left field that you just aren't prepared to catch. I called her immediately after hearing
but now I need to be by her side, to hug her, to be her rock and hopefully help her..over time...get to a better place.

friendships warm the heart

Caring, loving, expressive and bright
Angels must have sent u to me
Resilient, spiritual, sage, survivor
Affectionate, warm and oh so supportive

Magnificent, magnetic beauty inside and out
Insightful in all matters of the heart
Always my beacon, forever my dear friend

I've written this acrostic poem for my special soul-sister Carol.
(I've appropriately renamed her Cara Mia.. )
Because she truly is...My dear one.
Thanks for always being there for me Cara Mia!
You are an amazing friend and I love u so much! xox

Paradiso

The Dogs desperately need a groomer
They smell like last weeks Sea Bass
The Vacuum has no zoomer
The Old Mower won't cut grass
The washer isn't draining right
Dirty soapy water fills up our sinks
I'm really trying to keep my chin upright
But Now the cesspool's starting to stink!

The Bricks in the steps are Frickin' Breakin'
The Bricks in the chimney- ready to collapse
Yet the Bank accounts been plenty achin'
While the Utility Bills have all lapsed
But the hot tub keeps on heating
As we try to soak our worries away
And the family requires daily eating
as if everything is just A-Okay
They've grown sick of old surprise dinner Pie
dreaming of something hearty,familiar and meaty
Me? I'm dreaming of saving myself and am wishing to just fly
Indulging in a one way ticket to freakin' Shangri-La Tahiti




sundayscribblings

He rocks my world

Do you remember some of my stories about colorful Mr. Petals? Maybe you've read the post about how he COOLS his pants, Or The tale about how he spent one spring spray painting squirrel tails? Today he was up to another peculiar project. When I woke up I found him outside at the picnic table waxing his rocks. Wait.. let me explain this clearer. He took two rocks from our flower bed and he first cleaned them with clorax cleanup.. and when I appeared with my morning coffee and newspaper to join him under our gazebo for our usual outdoor morning coffee..... He was waxing these rocks with turtle wax. He had already been up for two hours.. He had already washed and waxed the cars, blew off the driveway and patio, And even planed down the swollen door to my salon. So here he was now... waxing rocks. I looked at him like I was scared that he was going crazy. You see, We've had 3 days off in a row so far! That much time makes me worry for Mr. Petals! I even teased him last week...ooooh 4 days off in a row coming up?? DO u think you can stand that? Do u have enough tranquilizers on hand?

Me? I LOVE it! I can sit and relax in the sun with a book or in the shade with a puzzle for .... forever! He, on the other hand... can lie in the sun for about 10.. no! make that 5 minutes and he pops up sweating and anxious and off to accomplish more tasks! So this morning, after much work, he took a break by doing something relaxing... after thinking...." why not use these rocks for paper weights for our newspapers"? He would NEVER just throw a rock on the table.. NO...my meticulous husband ALWAYS needs to take things to the next level!! Perfectionist Like you can't believe!! He has been known to really make things THE BEST they can be but he has also gone so far attempting perfection that he has inadvertently scrubbed the finish off our kitchen chairs, our floors and even our bathtub! Now, Whenever I see him heading INDOORS with his belt sander ... I run! To stop whatever it is he thinks he can make even better!! (that reminds me.. did u read about HOW CLEAN he got my sons fish bowl?? with bleach!! poor little fish!)
Don't get me wrong, as weird as this peculiar behavior of his is.. It is also a reason we laugh like crazzzy! I have become very fond of doing exaggerated imitations of him. his ways, his expressions, how he goes about things! I love making him crack up WHILE at the same time allowing him to see just how zany he is! Laughter is such an effective and affectionate alternative to criticism and BOY did I laugh this morning holding down my newspapers with my scrubbed shiny rocks.

Human

sunday scribblings prompt today is HUMAN or Humanity.... I've thought about it while basking in the beautiful sunshine today.
I thought of it while sipping my second cosmo. I've thought about it while soaking in my relaxing hot tub. While reading my book. (BOY has it been a wonderfully relaxing and simply perfect weekend!) Each and every time my mind leisurely wandered to thoughts of what being human meant to me... My thoughts were interrupted because each time I couldn't help but break into song... Bjorks song... Human Behavior... So instead of breaking this lazy hazy weekend mode that I am so enjoying and trying to get MY thoughts onto the page... I am going to just let HER words do the prompt for me! (turn up the volume!)

If you ever get close to a human
And human behavior

Be ready to get confused

There's definitely no logic

To human behavior

But yet so irresistible

There's no map

To human behavior

They're terribly moody

Then all of a sudden turn happy

But, oh, to get involved in the exchange

Of human emotions is ever so satisfying

There's no map

And a compass

Wouldn't help at all

Human behavior

Did u ever?

Did you ever stop and wonder WHO you are blogging for? Is it for you alone? Is it to hopefully leave a little bit of you behind as a legacy for your loved ones? Is it for strangers that may stumble upon your post and be enlightened, amused, displeased, offended? Is it to receive comments? I've been feeling this uneasy pressure about blogging lately. Especially when it comes to participating in the prompt sites that I so love. It seems to me that to use these prompt sites appropriately, you must not only publish a post using the prompt, but you MUST reciprocate and read and comment on Many of the other blogs that also participate in the prompt. Is it just me or did you ever feel this pressure and find it uncomfortably overwhelming in our already pressured busy lives?? I mean somedays, I am lucky if I have enough time to just read my emails and write a quick blog post. It is a luxury to have enough time to reply to emails, write a blog post and Then try to Read (really read, not just skim) the many blogs that I love PLUS try to read (really read, never skim) The others that have participated in a prompt site that I've visited. PA- LEASEEEE! But blogging to many bloggers seems to be very much about reciprocating. Don't we reciprocate enough in our everyday lives?
You made me soup when I was sick.. so now You get a sore throat... I run soup to your house.
I sent you a 'thinking of you card' cause you were having a bad day... I have ... a pain in my ass..
You send me a get well card. I invite you to a dinner.. You feel obligated to invite me back.. Those are the realities of life. Polite, appropriate, friendly. To spill all this decency over here to the blog world is just a little too much for this decent but overly extended blogger.
Thanks to a little help from a very special friend (this song playing is for YOU!) a special friend, who always manages to enlighten and give invaluable advice, I've come to the conclusion that I DID begin blogging for ME and (with the hopes that blogger wouldn't decide to take a walk but be around a while) so my kids could possibly someday look back on all I've felt like sharing. So even though I love getting comments and love being a Decent respectable girl... I've decided I am going to just 'do my thing' over here like a blogging slut. Write what ever I feel like writing. If you like it great, if not.. also okay. I will continue to read blogs that I enjoy to read and comment when I have the time. I will boldly participate in prompt sites Regardless of wether I have ample time to reciprocate. If I am known as the RuDE blogger, Well.. so be it. I will be enjoying a pressure-free pass time like I used to 3 years ago when I was a rookie and unaware of the proprieties involved in ....blabbing.