Happy Birthday!

Today is my sons 22 birthday! Where did those years go?!

It seems like yesterday when I felt those first pangs of labor. I can remember so clearly holding you for the very first time. Inhaling your precious baby scent, feeling your delicate soft skin and melting from your sweet baby sounds. It seems like yesterday that I had to leave you at the hospital due to jaundice and come home feeling like an amputee. It seems like yesterday that you were first placed into your big brothers arms and immediately passed gas which totally delighted big brother. I can still remember your favorite stories during your toddler years that I read to you each night. Goodnight moon, Rupert Penguin, Morris the moose and Harry the dirty dog. I still have the (now dingy) white little lamb that you dragged around the house. The little lamb had come with a blanket and pacifier attached to it's hands. Every time they came loose, I would sew them back on to dry your tears. You couldn't fall asleep without holding the lambs pacifier in your small hands.
I remember so clearly sitting on the floor by the head of your bed and watching you sleep when I was pregnant with J. I softly cried and worried how you would cope with becoming 'the middle child'. It seems like yesterday that I went to parents day at your Kindergarden class and Your teacher had to finally say to you... "YOU must let go of your mothers leg, she has to go home NoW!" Your affection was always intense and your humor and love for fun contagious. You've grown into am amazing young man and I wish for you all the good things you deserve! There are so many things I love about u but the one thing that stands out today, Is how every time you walk into our house you manage to bring it alive with your energy, happiness and love for life.
Where did twenty two years go? Time just fly's when you're having fun! Happy Birthday Sweetheart xox

2 down 1 to go go go

caption reads-
when i let out a blood curdling scream"jesus christ you're going to kill someone!: I'd like you to apply the brakes. ( this is reminiscent of how i taught my kids to drive)
Today my eldest son took my youngest son out for his second driving lesson. Due to my husband and I teaching the older boys years ago, and it being established over and over again, that we are both Tense, Intense,impatient,frustrating, SCARY teachers, My youngest has requested that his older brothers teach him. I started lecturing before hand, in a state of typical driving mode tense panic. I insisted my older son ONLY let him drive in a parking lot, NO Streets yet! 'He has to have many lessons in a safe empty parking lot before he can practice on these crazy roads". My eldest, who is usually so compliant, said.. "mom, no, You trust me to teach him, you need to trust my judgement. It should be left to MY discretion as to whether or not he is ready to venture out on the street. Please trust me, I am an excellent teacher and driver and I need you to trust me to make the right call". Well, he said much more than this, but this is the general gist of what I remember. His point came across respectful and wise and I realized that he is absolutely correct. (and I am absolutely a lunatic) Here is an excellent driver with an excellent track record who is in graduate school to become a teacher, who spends his days doing an amazingly great job helping to teach autistic children. I decided to leave the driving decisions, and the safety of them both, In his very capable hands. As he drove away towards the school parking lot, with my youngest in the passenger seat, I felt less worried than I had ever been with a son learning to drive.

To my surprise, after only ONE hour gone, my YoUnGest son expertly pulled into the driveway, parking perfectly behind my car!
When he came in and excitedly reported about How well he did and how
much he had learned,and How patient and calm his brother was. It was so wonderful & touching. I wasn't sure if I was welling up with tears because my baby is already old enough to be driving, OR because My oldest in such a short time is such a competent,sensible adult.(an adult who is a MUCh more capable,relaxed driving teacher than my husband and I ever were!) Whatever it was, it was a defining moment in the journey of my boys lives. I feel so proud of them all. ( and quite honestly, I am relieved beyond expression, that I won't be going through those F*&#@# frightening driving lessons again!)

here is the new driver when he was 8! :)

Do I have to?

sunday scribblings prompts us to ask- Do I have to?

Do I have to wish your wishes on my birthday cake?
Do I have to pray each day that you stay okay?
Do I have to encourage, nurture and guide?
Do I have to hope for your happiness in every way?

Do I have to hold you always close to my heart?
Do I have to cajole you to smile when you're feeling blue?
Do I have to savor your inner desires & inner self?
Do I have to dream to escape worrying about you?

Do I have to ache when you're feeling saddness or pain?
Do I have to forgive if you've moved me to seethe?
Do I have to love you as I do- with all of my heart?
Yes I have to my 3 sons, alike needing to breathe.
♥♥♥