We are the world

Today is my eldest son's 25th birthday.
As I was busily preparing one of his favorite shrimp dinners and at the same time, making an 'organic' birthday cake, I heard the shocking news of Michael Jackson passing away. I was just as shocked at how much this news affected me as I was by his unexpected death. Like millions of people.. I loved his music. Like millions of people, I felt so sad to hear that he died at such a young age. But, maybe it is weird of me to talk about this.. but it also touched me as being unusual that HE would die on my son's birthday. Let me tell you why.. When my first baby was born in 1984, Michael Jackson was THE hottest pop star of that year. As I filled in my new little babies 'memory book', it asked questions like WHO is the most popular star of the day...
I remember so clearly filling in Michael Jackson's name, The name of his latest album-Thriller.
The names of hit songs from the album... (never imagining that my babies 25th b.d would be the day this performer passes)
One year later.. 1985...that same little baby LOVED Michael Jackson's video.. 'We are the world'
I had taped it and when ever my son was cranky I would replay it over and over for him and it helped to soothe him. He would often stand in his playpen and point to the vhs tape to let me know, he needed another dose of we are the world.
So do u see why I am left with chills and tears today? I think it is an eerie sign or something. (anyone have any idea what this crazy woman is feeling??)

Then of course there is poor Farrah passing away today as well.. Her birthday? FEB. 2nd the same as my middle sons! I don't know why all this has my head spinning, i guess I am just seeing signs of strangeness where there probably are none. Oh yeah... the other eerie thing.... Michael was 50... I am turning 50 this year.(although he is one year older) BUT also born in AUgust like me!! I grew up with him! I remember so clearly watching the jackson 5 on T.V. and knowing Michael was my age. I felt connected because of that. I am so sad for him. Regardless of all the accusations and suspicions and surgeries and criticism... The man was an amazingly talented artist. An incomparable legend of generations. I hope the media is kind and he is remembered for all his extraordinary accomplishments. rest in peace poor Mj.
(I cannot post the video (wish someone would help me with this!!) but you can click here to see it)
we are the world video

Thoughts on aging heart and soul

I am remembering that it wasn't too long ago when I had the passing thought that my future would Definitely contain some 'minor appearance adjustments'. Back then when I looked in the mirror and saw new little crows feet dancing around my eyes I thought.. NO WAY do I want to become all wrinkly and old looking! I mentioned it jokingly to my eldest who was probably only in high school at that time. I yelled.. "Start saving up for my surgery!!" Well, my surprisingly wise young son looked at me with his serious strong handsome face and more Like a Parent enlightening a child, he said to me.. "Mom, Every line around your eyes show all the times you've laughed in your life, Why in the world would you want to erase that reminder?" I hugged him and told him how brilliant he was and I never forgot those beautiful words and his beautifully heartfelt theory.

Fast forward a few years as I watched a very close friend make a 360 degree turn in not only her appearance but her entire attitude. I guess this was her way of handling aging. I tried so hard to be supportive of the "NEW Her", and was feeling so damn guilty and sad when our friendship died. Until, once again.. The wise words of that same son.. "mom, YOU are still the same person you were when u met her.. SHE did all the changing. If you would have met her the way her personality is today, you would have Never befriended her, right? So,move on and forget feeling guilty! I listened and moved on and am not guilty anymore, but I still can't help missing the 'old her', the friend who wasn't just totally obsessed with keeping herself youthful.


I've always felt that aging is a precious gift. I lost a dear friend to breast cancer at the tragically young age of 37. She left two young children behind. Had she been graced with a choice, I will Bet you Anything, she would have chosen growing older, no matter how many wrinkles, aches and pains, were part of that package. With each passing year and each additional wrinkle to mark each year also comes an additional indentation of wisdom. As I am growing older I feel like I am absorbing, valuing and appreciating the tiny blessings that I overlooked in my youth. The feelings of awareness, self confidence and freedom from insecurities are also rewardingly blissful. Certainly worth exchanging for some saggy, wrinkly outer skin. After all, that IS all that is.. your outer covering. If we could be turned inside-out, I think we would see that the older a person is lucky enough to grow,the more radiantly beautiful their hearts and souls become.
So I am opting out of any ideas of changing my outer skin, instead I am hoping to enjoy aging for a long, albeit wrinkly time. keeping a young attitude in mind but developing an exceedingly old, sparklingly enlightened, heart and soul. (as well as improving my computer skills!!)



visit sunday scribblings

My boy's been on tour

(5 yrs. old)


I've always imagined I would support my children's interests and passions. Whenever they've found something they love to do or are interested in, I've always been there to learn about it, watch what it's all about, Listen to their excitement, and like the big mouth I am... Talk to my friends about what the kids are up to. So recently, I've been beating myself up as to WHY I am NOT being this same way with My eldest son's passion? His music. Well, I know why. I'm a bit embarrassed by it's unusualness. By it's fetish theme. I guess the big doofas in me would be happier if he was reincarnating Bobby Shermans hip sound! ( of course I'm kidding about B.S... but maybe say, John Mayer?)
The point I should be focusing on is my kid is never happier than when he is creating his music and playing with his band. He's an amazing young man. He has wonderful ideas and a compassionate heart. He has been on tour with his band.( no, not "his band".. it has a name.. Yellow tears, there I finally said it!) They've been on a cross country tour from Allentown PA. to L.A. and Now touring while traveling back to NY. At each pre-booked show, They are selling lps, cds and t-shirts that they screened themselves. They are actually making some money beyond what they need to get them from venue to venue. Apparently there is a large enough audience for this unusual experimental sound. I call it 'noise music'. They call it 'experimental'.
It sounds like a movie soundtrack really. Maybe hollywood will discover their talents?
Before he left, I was asking my son if he could tell me where they will be and when... He said, "Mom, just check our website.. all the show dates and locations are there." WEbsite?? ( this,Im ashamed to say, is HOW withdrawn I've been to his music) "You guys have a website too?" yellowtears.com
Before they left for tour we also asked them to play the new cd for us. We all sat outside and tried our best to listen. For the first time, I really, really realized that this is serious and not just crazy kids imagining they are rock stars. I think much of it is amazing. For instance.. It's one thing to perform your album at a show and repeat the sheet music and lyrics. Yellow tears repeats their albums songs, BUT when some of the sounds are made in such unusual ways, for instance...with them banging chains on sheet metal,That they are able to recreate these experimental sounds that their fans are waiting to hear at EACH show... well,I think that's pretty incredible, no? They actually bring all gadgets they've used to create the sounds,plus of course traditional instruments. (My son plays bass guitar)
Another incredible thing was hearing about how each state they played, had someone they knew who was promoting their show there for them. Flyers and advertising for the yellow tears tour! They've put so much hard work and energy into the art they are so passionate about. I'm really proud of all of them. I want my son to know, I'm really proud of him and I'm happy that I've finally attentively listened and I want him to know, even though I'm so old.. I'm still attempting to learn lessons each day. Someday, I hope to even watch yellow tears in action.

Thursday 13 (#2)

♣ THIRTEEN GREAT CHANGES IN MY LIFE SINCE MY OLDER SON MOVED BACK HOME: ♣

1- HE MAKES A KICK ASS GUACAMOLE ( he makes many delicious dishes)

2-WHEN THE REST OF THE FAMILY SCREAMS 'NO' TO MY ASKING 'WHO WANT'S TO PLAY SCRABBLE', HE USUALLY WILL SAY " I'LL PLAY ONE GAME WITH YOU MOM."

3-HE REPLACED THE TINY PARING KNIFE THAT I WAS USING FOR CHOPPING VEGGIES TO A LARGE CHOPPING KNIFE WHICH MAKES LOADS OF SENSE AND CUTS MY WORK IN HALF

4-HE HAS ENCOURAGED ME TO USE FRESH HERBS AGAIN, BREAKING OFF MY LAZY FLAKE HABIT (parsley,basil, oregano flakes)


5-HE TAUGHT ME THE BEST WAY TO CHOP THOSE HERBS EASILY

6-WHEN I'M OVERWHELMED IN THE KITCHEN.. HE SENSES IT AND ASKS IF I NEED HELP, THEN PROCEEDS TO HELP WITHOUT NEEDING ANY INSTRUCTIONS. ( I was making Chicken Marsala and my chicken got ahead of the rest of the dinner.. He quickly dressed and tossed the salad, washed and set the table, chopped my parsley and started washing pots!)

7-HE POINTED OUT THAT MY WHOLE WHEAT BREAD HAD CORN SYRUP IN IT AND I'VE CHANGED TO A HEALTHIER BREAD

8-HE POINTED OUT THAT I AM BUYING AND COOKING TOO MANY PROCESSED FOODS ( he points out a lot of stuff to me.. I don't always listen to it all)

9-HE WILL RUN ERRANDS FOR ME LIKE GETTING GAS, GOING TO THE LIBRARY, TAKING MY YOUNGEST TO JIUJITSU ( he did a run to the most dreadful errand-COSTCO!


10-WHEN HE REHEARSES HIS 'NOISE' MUSIC AND MY HOUSE IS SHAKING, IT ENCOURAGES ME TO BLAST MY MUSIC WHICH GETS ME TO DANCE AROUND MORE OFTEN

11-HE HAS WONDERFUL FRIENDS WHO ARE ALWAYS AROUND AND ADD MUCH LIFE AND HAPPINESS TO OUR HOME

12-HE HAS PUT HIMSELF ON A DIET AND EXERCISE PROGRAM WHICH IS MAKING HIM shrink. HIM GETTING HEALTHIER IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY AND ITS'S ENCOURAGING US ALL TO GET HEALTHY AS WELL

13- I LOVE HEARING THE GREAT STORIES ABOUT THE KIDS IN HIS CLASS WHEN HE COMES HOME FROM WORK
I JUST LOVE HAVING HIS COMPANY AND GETTING TO SEE HIM EACH DAY ♥♥

(he is about 4 yrs. old here)

loupee is on a loop

Before we went to our relatives house today to celebrate Thanksgiving and eat a nice dinner, I did something many would consider a bit looney.
I made a thanksgiving dinner. I prepared the stuffing, garlic mashed potatoes & stuffed mushrooms last night after a 7 hour work day. This morning I had that sucker stuffed cooked and cooling before we left. The reason? Favorite traditional holiday foods, The smell of turkey filling our home and of course... Leftovers.... For many years this was my designated holiday. I loved making the special foods my kids enjoy. Every year after the GiANT clean up was done and everyone went home, I would make a plate of all my favorite Turkey day treats, sit down in front of a favorite t.v. show and really, really enjoy every last bite of my delicious hard work.
A few years ago, I broke tradition, I needed a change. I decided to take on Christmas eve as 'my' holiday. Well, the last few Thanksgivings just haven't been the same.~ No turkey and stuffing at 11 p.m.. ~ No holiday 'smell' ~ Fridge bare on Friday ~ Complaints like... I missed your stuffing Mom and they didn't have stuffed mushrooms.
This all sounds quite reasonable doesn't it?? Well, my eldest son would disagree. His theory ( and I must say.. he has many and I totally enjoy hearing his take on EveryThing) His Theory is I am stuck in a loop. In this case... I am stuck in the Thanksgiving loop because that is all I know HOW to do on this holiday. COOK. (It was hard not to smile while he was explaining this to me) He thought it was lunacy that I would create all this work on my day off from work and from entertaining. I explained that I know the favorite foods we all have would have been missed and maybe I'm creating nice memories. He feels I've already created nice Thanksgiving memories and It's time to move on... and get off (or is it out of )THE Loop. Maybe he is right. After all, it is of course not only about the food. It is about family. It is about giving thanks. AND... As my Weight watcher leader would say when she is emphasizing getting a grip.... it isn't a holiWEEK... it is..... only a holiDAY.
oooh It's already 11:30?..... time to make up my plate of leftovers :~))