apple turnover

Ny has been hit with one of the worst winters. There's SO much Snow everywhere I look, I am imagining it may still be here for my August Birthday. If you've visited me before, you may have read that my husband, affectionally referred to here as Mr. Petals, has always been a bit of an over thinker. Maybe you would say a perfectionist? Maybe I could say he has a bit of an OCD? Our sons on the other hand instead just say he is  F***ing CRAAAzzzy!!
SNOW removal Mr. Petals style? WELL..While every one of my neighbors deal with slushy, icy walks, stairs & driveways at their homes... those areas on our 100 x 100 lot (and even on a section of the street in front of our home!)  look like we've just had a little sprinkle of rain.

When did this obsessive,-do everything Thoroughly, -go beyond the normal- type of behavior happen to Mr. Petals??  I couldn't help wondering this when my son Nick, during the last snow storm, came to me frustrated, angry and venting his "F***ing crazzy" opinion from above.  "MOM!! he is CRAZY, he wants me to use the leaf blower and BLOW the PuDDLES!! BLOW THE PUDDLES MOM!! WE JUST SHOVELED FOR 4  F***ING  hours and NOW I have to blow puddles??!!! IS HE KIDDING ME??!!"

As I tried to give a sane answer to my beautiful boy, A memory came vividly drifting back to me... Over 30 years ago, While I was dating my Mr. Petals, I remembered HIM venting to me that HIS Dad would wake up SUPER early on the weekends and do CRAAzzzy  things like HOSE off the driveway! Wash the floor of the garage!  WASH the outdoor garbage pails! and expect his son to help him do these chores too!  I often heard frustrated angry venting back then like...
"WHO the hell cares if GARBAGE pails are dirty??" " GARage floor?? Is he F***ing CRazy??".

Hmmm.... Is it true? we all turn into our parents??

I recently visited my mom who has been a saver for many years but who has now unfortunately begun hoarding.
There were so many papers in her home that to begin the shredding process could take a lifetime. I looked around her home and just broke down crying. I've read that hoarding is typical with seniors who don't quite know what to toss and what to keep.
I came home from seeing her and immediately began tossing out papers and cleaning up draws. Organizing things that have been on my mind to organize. Thinking to myself, The apples may not fall far from the trees, but this pink lady is Going to try like hell to roll as far from her crazy tree as possible!
I'm wondering if there is an age where this all begins? After all, As teens and young adults aren't we all totally rebellious to our parents actions?  When did you begin to see signs that you're possibly turning into your parent?
As for Mr. Petals, Well.. I talked to him about his Elder Tree, and his similarities. At first he paused, as if shocked by the memory and then he just laughed like crazy, stating he is who he is and he just can't help wanting to do everything the best that it can be done. As for me, I found myself thinking about all this a lot yet focusing NOT on all the wacky stuff he's inherited, but instead on ALL the good, wonderful qualities his Dad also passed on to him and in turn I know he is passing on to our three sons
.
Thinking of that made me also turn over a new leaf of acceptance when it comes to my own Elder tree.
Sadly, Maybe I WILL inherit tendencies towards clutter and disorganization but I'm happy  I've already inherited beautiful traits like my Moms love for music, singing, fun, games and Craaazzzy people.

ANKLE SHMANKLE

I will be 54 next month and I'm relieved to tell you...I've NEVER broken a bone!  this is the result of being a cautious, adventure-less, nervous nelly.   My kids on the other hand....Sheesh... that's another post.

Three weeks ago I was teaching my Zumba class at the library where they are replacing the A.C.

( who the heck replaces a system in summer?!) HOT doesn't have enough letters to describe how uncomfortably hot it was in that room.

The sweat covered ken tile floor was just too much for my purple ZOOM Nike's and DOWN I went!

I was more stunned that I suddenly was on my Buttocks then I was embarrassed for being down there.

I didn't even realize I had slipped, it was that quick.

I felt a shooting pain on the top of my foot, but once I stood up... it didn't hurt too much... so what do you do when you're a CRAZY  albeit nervous nelly??  YOU keep on dancin'!   Like I thought I was in Pippin or something, the show must go on! so crazzzzzy lucy gets up, motions to her sweet concerned Zumba girls that she is OKaY!  And continues the FUN,Fabulous songs for another 15 min.

My ankle felt 'fragile' but it didn't hurt to dance, walk, climb the library stairs or drive home. 

Regardless, I decided to R.I.C.E.all that day!   (Rest, ice, compression and elevate.)

The following day I worked a  10 hour day on my feet. By evening, my ankle was So swollen, that I got VErY nervous.. I called my orthopedic, but he and his group were at a convention!  the following day, I worked again, but cut my day short to ice and rest some more. One of my sweet friends was an ER nurse, she looked me over and she told me she thought it was just a sprain. I felt relieved by her opinion and  It felt well enough that I decided to teach Zumba monday and tuesday with the help of my amazing Students, who know my routines real well.   

About a week later, my ankle was less swollen and only hurting in certain positions. But I decided (thanks to a client who owns an insurance company) to be smart and see my doc. to touch base (and document my fall, especially that my lower back was hurting too ) My dr.  didn't think my ankle was broken but thought an MRI would be smart, since i am on my feet for both of my jobs. She wanted to make sure ligaments, tendons (and whatever else we have in there )were Okay. ( I will have to wait for insurance approval.) The next day,  I decided to spring (well , summer)clean my neglected bedroom.  I got up too quickly from being on my hands and knees vacuuming under furniture and accidentally  put all of my weight on the top of my foot and  I SCREAMED profanities to an empty house like a downed surfer to the roaring sea.  WOW....took me back 20 years to the labor and delivery room!

For the next week, my ankle felt worse than it did after that library zumba class.

I decided to call my podiatrist.  ankle? foot?  same thing,no?  he is right near my home and he is a BIG personality and a GREAT dr. ... unfortunately, he was away (surfing?)  but his associate was able to see me.

He did an xray, and told me that I didn't  have a sprain I instead had a fractured fibula!! My first break in nearly 54 careful, boring years???  I could, however, continue doing all I was doing and it would heal...  I felt like such a moron. I was beating myself up for not getting an xray sooner. If it were one of my dare devil, accident prone sons... they would have been in the ER the same day!  I drowned my regrets and foolishness  in two lovely glasses of pinot noir and fell asleep. 

Today My dr.called, telling me she got the approval for the MRI... when I told her it was a fracture, she said it would be smart to see an orthopedist. I started feeling so stupid AGAIN! although, that IS who I called initially, that is THE bone expert, right?? Why didn't I try him again?  It's been 3 weeks and NOW I want to see him...sooo desperately!  I suddenly think the Foot dr. is a moron too!  I don't trust anyone but this BONE man who I SHOULD have called back!

Well, I just came back from  Mr. bones  office. he couldn't make out anything in the cloudy,foggy xray that the podiatrists  RECEPTIONIST took.... so he took his own. Guess what?  I have a freaking SPrained ankle and it will talke time, but It will be FINE! It is NOT a BREAK!  my sweet ER nurse friend was RIght!  I still feel stupid and overwhelmed... even though I writing this while on my 2nd glass of pinot.   

An Invisible Thread

Back in February, I had TWO weeks off from work, as I was recuperating from some minor hand surgery. Finally! A PERFECT opportunity to truly participate in my book clubs next discussion, by Actually reading the book selection instead of just showing up for their great company and delicious food!  I had been absent from the previous meeting but the girls emailed me to tell me our selection was "An Invisible Thread" a non-fiction book from a local author.

Before I settled down in (mr. Petals) recliner with a pillow for my elevated hand, ice pack, ipad, cell phone, cup of tea and book club book.. (okay...  there were cookies too...many cookies). I asked my husband if he knew this local author who was from his home town of huntington station.  He looked at her picture, and read her name, 'Laura Schroff, No I don't know her." ( hmm..he said that too quickly and with such disinterest.)  I sat down and googled her name and found out she also went to his high school and as he kissed me goodbye, I asked him Yet again... ARE u SURE?? With excitement I added...she went to your high school!!  she's only a few years older than you!!...  ( I can be quite annoying I guess) because he impatiently snapped back..  I DON'T KNOW HER!   So off Mr. Grumpy went to work.  

AH... this felt so good (despite my throbbing hand) to have a day to myself and to finally settle in to read, I had missed it.  ( lately, zumba choreography has taken up all of my down time)
The story had me instantly glued to it.  I couldn't put it down, tea went cold, I didn't even eat  every cookie.  Not long in to 'An invisible thread' the author mentions her maiden name. It was very familiar.. I could have SWORN my husband had mentioned that name to me. (married for 33 years, I've been a pretty GOOD Listener... and apparently have a much better memory than I give myself credit)  I peeled myself away from the intriguing pages and took a much needed bathroom break then also gave Mr. Petals a call on one of his busiest work days. "Hey Honey, how's it going,  you know that author u said u didn't know"? He sighed and I heard him quietly say "eye eye eye" (who is he? ricky ricardo?)  "Well,  I just read her MAIDEN name and it sounds SOoo familiar, Didn't you know the Carino's? Her dads name was Nuzie".   

There was silence on his end for a few seconds.... He said... "What?!! LU... She is my Cousin!"
"(Sucking in air...) seeee!!! I KNEW YOU HAD TO KNOW HER!!!" (hee hee)  He couldn't believe it and quickly started filling me in on some of his memories of her family. Some that I soon read about in the following chapters of this moving, heart wrenching story.  I emailed my book club friends to tell them of this AMAZING discovery! One friend wrote back that she was MORE amazed that I was actually reading one of our book selections. (wise guy!) 

Small world that it is, another friend suggested I try to get in touch with Laura via her website, or Facebook.  I wrote her a message and to my surprise and delight, she graciously wrote back!!  we corresponded a few times and then I also contacted her sweet sister Nancy, who my husband and his sister were friendly with in their youth. She was closer in age to them. My husband spent many years hanging out at her home. They lived on the same block. He had many memories of that time.  I found this all so exciting, fascinating and touching! so....

I decided to be bold and just come out and ask Laura if she and Nancy would ever consider taking the hour ride back to long island to attend our book group!  As you can see in the photo.. They both accepted! Laura is sitting in the center of the photo and her sweet sister Nancy is on her left.  They were both so lovely,kind, warm and friendly. Within minutes we felt we knew them! We were riveted, hanging on to Laura's EVERY word!  We really enjoyed Hearing so many additional details of her poignant story as well as all the experiences she has had since.  She is incredibly charismatic and can captivate you with her bright eyes, gentle smile and expressive conversation!  My sister-in-law who also LOVED the book joined us to reunite with her cousins.
We discussed our family tree. Laura's mom and my father-in-law were First cousins. So we assume that makes Laura and  my father-in-law second cousins, and then she would be third cousins with my husband and his sisters.  I mentioned cousin 'once removed' and it totally confused us all... so we are sticking with third cousins! 

The book's title comes from the ancient chinese proverb which states, an invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place and circumstance. 25 years ago, Laura was destined to meet and befriend Maurice, a hungry 11 yr. old panhandler. This year maybe she was destined to meet her long lost cousins wife Lucy. We sure hope to keep in touch with this remarkably kindhearted soul. 


*Laura has made many tv appearance including Kathy Lee and Hoda , Rachel Ray and Mike Huckabee.
If you want a beautiful, uplifting, honest book that will touch your heart, break your heart yet leave your heart believing there truly are really good people in this harsh world, you MUST read this wonderful book!   Laura's website is     http://www.aninvisiblethread.com/    You can watch a video of her and her friend Maurice. Their friendship and story can not be missed.
hope you will give me YOUR review! 

Laughter is the best medicine

 I have been off from work and healing from trigger finger surgery.  yesterday I sent my husband to the grocery store to buy something he could cook for dinner. I had a small list which included my (recent) favorite candy.. peanut chews. After a while, he calls me from the candy aisle... he can't find them. While I am describing the packaging so he can better locate them, he said "Oh, it wasn't on the list but I also picked up bagged lettuce so I can make us a salad."  I said... we don't need it, we have plenty of lettuce home.

When he walked in the front door ...not only had he picked up the meat, the oranges, the garbage bags, tissues and the desired peanut chews... he had Two bags of chips, MORE bags of candy (which he claims he picked up thinking he wouldn't find the chews and then didn't want to put them back, because he knows I love twizzlers and raisinets too!) THREE huge bags of peanut chews AND TWO bags of pepperidge farm milano cookies!!    I know this is his way of taking "good care" of me
  (and HIM) while I mend. So I just smiled and said "ARE u kidding me??  you are too funny, I'm going to gain 100 lbs these two weeks!"

  As we were eating dinner... he said... you know, I feel a little bad now, I  didn't feel like going all the way back to the produce aisle so I just put that lettuce back on a random shelf.
 I literally started choking on my vinegary salad.... due to hysterical laugher... I finally was able to speak  to share what went immediately through my mind.  I said...please tell me...it wasn't the candy shelf was it?? haha...
 If anyone was watching you they would see you putting ALL that candy in the cart on top of  the chips and cookies and then you go.. NAH... i don't need no stinkin lettuce!  And you put it on the candy shelf!!   I could just see it so vividly  and he could too and we both just couldn't stop laughing for so so long.
 I just know that  somewhere there is someone writing a blog post about the chubby guy in the candy asile at stop and shop, who had second thoughts about adding lettuce to his cart.

Illuminate...literally

..it all began with that biatch..sandy. aka... superstorm sandy.

We were very lucky Ny'ers.. we only lost power for one week. With the horrors others were going through we didn't want to gripe about having no power/ heat/ hot water.. instead we tried to focus on  what we were grateful for AND what was useful... talking often about (to whoever would listen) these 6 little LED tap lights that we had picked up at costco back in the summer...JUST in CASE we ever lost power.  they even had a remote... coming home late at night...you just hit the remote and five of these lil discs would brighten up our kitchen and den brightly enough to make it to the bathroom where the other one was.
Well, I found them smart and helpful but my (crazy) husband got crazy with them! They had double sided tape so he taped one up on the underside of my beautifully faux painted ceiling fan blade, claiming the light was better illuminating DOWN on our scrabble board. (it was) He also taped one under the soffit above the kitchen sink,
 (allowing me to see the dirty dishes past 3 pm) but ....6 little lights were NOT enough.. he NEEDED more! He's always been one to OVER-do a good thing... He is always teased about how he likes making things better until they're worse.... for example-his garlic mashed potatoes... they are amazingly delicious... so what does he do? he tries to Out do them each time, till we want to puke from TOO much butter and garlic.
back to my illuminated home...
He goes back to costco... they of course are sold out of anything related to a power outage, except cheese... ever notice how much cheese is on their shelves? they'll never run out. (related how?)

So Mr. Petals keeps on checking weekly... well right before christmas he hits the LED jackpot. Not only do they have the 6 little round tap lights... they now have something BETTER! STrIpS of led lights that can be MOunTED with screws! (yes the tape ruined our paint)   and wait for this................  they have MOTION CONTROL TOO!  
He says he wants to get ready if we lose power again... I thought.. He is getting ready for the Nut house!

Now we have these rectangular strip lights on motion control mounted to the kitchen cabinets, molding, bathrooms and even in the boiler room above the panel box. (the electrician thought this a genius idea!) We don't turn on light switches at night anymore.. like royalty... everywhere we walk is just illuminated!!  (please read that last line with your best english accent)
 I got a bit on the crazy train and asked for them to be mounted in some of the darker clothes closets. which you must admit is a smart idea too! (can u 'catch' crazy like the flu??)  because...It all began to seem normal and quite smart to me...

 But then... My son came home from college for the holidays. After a few days being home, He pulled me aside one morning and with a look of concern  he asked ... "mom?, what is UP with ALL of  these stupid lights going on everywhere I Go?? I can't even walk around the house at night, thinking I will wake u guys up!  Have you and dad gone crazy?"
hmmm.... he made me wonder again!  I replied warmly... we may be Joey...but at least it's a nice BRIGHT shade of crazy!!   Do u want one in YOUR room?   ;)

visit sunday scribblings for more illuminating stories

the GOOD and bad of this past week

The good... I taught  an extremely HIGH energy one hour Zumba class on Sunday. I was feeling very 'on' despite feeling very nervous/anxious to know that two zumba instructors were taking/observing my class because they've heard great things about how I teach, As was one of my bosses at another zumba job.

the bad.... after class my heart didn't feel so well... not really racy because we did have a 10 minute cool down...just a  weird feeling of pressure and me being conscious of it which I never experienced before.
Then, On the drive home I had indigestion, and weird discomfort in my left arm.
I kept pushing thoughts of 'heart attack symptoms' out of my usually neurotic brain and took a shower.
I tried to eat lunch, but felt nauseous and couldn't eat.

The Good AND bad?....GOOGLE...  gee's it's either a life saver or death sentence, isn't it?...

The bad... after reading that I had FOUR heart attack symptoms and how usually women's symptoms are more of a 'whisper'... I began to feel very panicky as I thought of my 42 year old neighbor who came home from work this past June with only pain in his left arm. He chose valium & a nap over a 911 call
and never woke up!  My other neighbor also had subtle signs and his wife forced him to get checked and he found he had indeed had a heart attack!

The Good- I decided to chew two low dose asprins.
the bad/stupid..  Yet, I forced myself to push all those crazy thoughts out of my overly imaginative mind, determined to enjoy the most gorgeous weather and take a drive to the beach to walk with my husband... I continued getting ready for the beautiful day we had looked so forward to sharing but as I put on my blush... my jaw began to hurt... Symptom FIVE!  Yet, I said nothing and got in the car to head off for our lovely day off together.

The Good-   as we got to the gas station, I felt another flutter in my chest, I began crying and panicking  and decided  it's SO much better to be safe and alive than dead and sorry, So...finally I called 911 from my car as my husband stepped on it and drove the 3 minutes back home in only 1 minute to meet  The ambulance and paramedics who were dispatched. They arrived in 2 minutes time! They were all wonderful despite me not being able to stop crying, i guess from fear, embarrassment, more FEAR. My EKG was normal but they still needed to get me to the hospital because the blood work would be the determining factor.
the bad- my blood pressure which has ALWAYS been 120/70 was 170/90. That really made me worry, probably pushing it even higher.

The bad-  Why is it that even without a siren on... EVERY neighbor knows to come outside and stare when there is an ambulance and several other emergency vehicles on a street. more tears/ fears/embarrassment  :(

The Good-  The EMT HEROS were so wonderful and really tried to make me feel calm and safe. I've never been in an ambulance before, but they made it much less traumatic.
 After IV fluids, and two series of blood tests in the ER.. They determined I DID NOT have a heart attack, most likely a panic attack! although my pressure was still high, they finally let me go home with instructions to follow up with a cardiologist.

MORE GOOD!-  after two BAD,worrisome days of just not feeling well and STILL having subtle symptoms and still believing in my heart that my heart was somehow not doing well... my cardiologist yesterday, gave me a check up and convinced me that what I've been going through is more likely related to anxiety about worrying and THINKING I was having a heart attack. Between The scary thoughts of my poor neighbors, the worry I shared with her about  my grandma who died at MY age in her sleep of a heart attack, and the worry that I am teaching extremely physical classes at my age, and the fact that I really AM  an overly imaginative, extremely sensitive,  crazy girl!  She reminded me of the stress test I had two years ago that I did 'OFF the charts' Exceptionally well on!  She wants to repeat another stress test but in the mean while... wants me to continue LIVING my life and put my fears and worries behind me. (an occasional xanax or glass of wine is recommended as well!!)
  I am so grateful to be okay and I think it's my extreme fear of dying that keeps me always thinking the WoRSt!  I am reminded of a lyric in the BEAUTIFUL Jason Mraz song...'living in the moment' that I should REALLY start following... he sings...
"I will not waste my days thinking of all kinds of ways to worry about all the things that will NOT happen to me"

How often do you do this?  I tend to spend too much time dwelling on thoughts of 'what if this happened  and that'??  and what would i do IF this or that happened??... when often those fears never materialize. When these crazy/wasteful thoughts come into my mind... I am going to try to merengue them away and just try to enjoy living in the moment. !
   :))
xtra good stuff that I almost forgot to include....
the loving words, actions and devotion of my husband who would NOT leave my side. The love, healing words and concern from my best friend Carol. My three sweet loving boys.  Also..
getting home from the ER to the beautiful concerned  phone call from my sweet friend/ neighbor Lynn and  the next day...finding a YUMMY tin of homemade cookies from another lovely friend and neighbor  Emily, with a note that made me cry... "PLEASE DON'T EVER SCARE US LIKE THAT AGAIN!"   (there's So much good in my life!)

broken resolutions

When the little red car pulled into the gravel driveway, Annie jumped away from the broken window pane, a window she herself had broken in anger, she bolted, heading for her mothers cluttered bedroom closet. As she ran, her worn thin, pink bathrobe flew open behind her and for a second she imagined being a soaring butterfly. She hoped her big sister didn't see which way she was running. Annie didn't realize that the closet wasn't a secret destination. Her family knew it had always been a hiding spot for her. To Annie, it was more of a comfort zone. She liked hiding under the big brown quilted winter comforter that was balled up in the tiny corner. She loved the smell of her moms perfume on all the long gowns and shawls that hung in plastic bags in that comfy corner. She also loved moms 'hidden' jar of poker pennies on the closet shelf, which she 'borrowed'  every time she heard the happy tune of her neighborhood ice cream man.
Annie sat as quiet as she could and thought about how the little red car sort of looked like a lady bug without the black spots.  There was NO way they were going to make her get in that dumb car and go with that strange man. That undefinable feeling came over her again, A feeling that felt like her best interest wasn't really being looked after. A feeling of dread, insecurity and fear. It was a scary feeling, being only 8 and not trusting  the decision of the person that you know is your guardian, your parent, the grown up who's suppose to know best about making sure that you are always going to be okay.

Annie's mom had called Frances from her waitressing job a few minutes earlier and snapped at Frances about a man who was coming over to pick up Annie and bring her to school. "Get her ready Francie!" Annie's big sister Frances was accustomed to taking care of Annie, taking orders from their Mother and spending time cooking and cleaning their small shabby home. Wishing instead to spend more time giggling and primping with her 14 year old girlfriends from school. School! Frances hadn't been there all week. Like Annie, playing hooky from school had become a regular habit.  It wasn't too difficult to over sleep and skip school when there was no one home seeing to it that you got up and out.

Frances gently slid the closet door to the side, peeling away another white paint chip and knelt down low. "Annie, I know you're scared, but this man is from your school and it IS safe to go with him. You've had too many absences Annie, they know you're not sick. You won't be in trouble but You need to let me help you get washed and dressed and you have to hurry up and go."  Frances always had a softer way of mothering her than their own mother did. Whenever Annie was home alone with Frances, Annie's disguise never appeared. Annie's trust of Frances suddenly overpowered her fear of the strange ladybug man.  Quietly, with tears streaming down her face  mixing with breakfasts maple syrup still on her cheeks, Annie cooperated and got ready for school at 1 in the afternoon.
"what do I tell the kids Free"? whispered Annie.   Free, the nickname 2 year old Annie had given her big sister when she couldn't pronounce Francie.  Frances' heart skipped a beat for her little sister, trying to be so brave while suppressing stabbing sobs. Silently she cursed her mother for allowing this to happen. What mother gives permission for a little kid to go with a total stranger. Why couldn't SHE just leave work and take Annie to school herself?  Herself.. hmm...   She answered her own question.
 Giving a gentle hug to the tiny shaking shoulders in front of her,  she replied, "just tell them you're feeling all better now Annie".

Mr. Crawbid opened the passenger door for Annie. He was very tall, very polite and his car smelled like fresh cut grass. Inside the car between their seats Annie quizzically spied a zigzagged slot holding a black stick with a brown leather handle with random letters on it. Mr. Crawbid kept moving it as they drove along. Annie had never seen a car like this before and she didn't take her big brown eyes away from that black stick even while Mr. Crawbid asked her what her favorite color was (pink.) and if she liked Mrs. Wolfes class.(yes.)

 When they got to George Washington Elementary school, Mr. Crawbid walked with Annie to her classroom  and Mrs. Wolfe greeted her with a big genuine smile. "Annie! So nice to see you! Glad your feeling up for school today! The class is at recess but will be back very soon, you can take your seat and wait for them."  When the kids came scurrying, noisily back in, Zachary and Billy, who were the known trouble makers in class 2-4 walked right up to Annie and Billy offensively sneered "weren't you absent? why did u come to school so late weirdo?"  As much as Annie loved Free and her good advice, she didn't reply, she resolutely decided never to confess what had happend today. She buried her  matted head of dark curls down into her arms on top of her ink smudged desk, mentally pulling on her invisibility costume. The very same disguise that she so often wished would disappear at home.

sundayscribblings

Inside the fortress of CRAZY!

Every week your trash is picked up but do u ever really pay much attention? I always remember our collectors at Christmas time,  If I am outside while they're out front, I wave. That's about it. Although, when my kids were small and we were always outside, I do remember offering a drink occasionally on a hot summers day, and of course there was that classic time at christmas when i ran down the street screaming for the 3 garbage men ...well that's a story that deserves it's own post at another time... anyway..

Mr. Petals?... he doesn't miss a beat  "We must have a new garbage man working on the truck". According to my crazy husband, this new guys 'signature' is turning ONE pail upside down, which is turning Mr. Petals inside out! A few weeks ago he comes inside all gruff ( i think he even grunted). "AGAIN! Why they have to turn the pail upside down, I have NO Idea! makes it more difficult for me now! " Then a few days later he says to me (as if it's the first I am hearing it..)  "This must be this new guys signature...One up and one upside down, it's so stupid!"  I resisted saying 'You told me this already'... (ie..see 'marriage is a marathon'  post below.)

A few days ago when we're driving down our street... he points out SEVERAL homes in our neighborhood... YUP... One down and the others UP!  AGAIN.... he tells me "look..LOOK at this... this is this BASTARDS signature!"   I HAD to finally say... "honey you've told me this already,I know, I know.. it's his SIGNATURE garbage pail maneuver, he's trying to leave his mark all over our town.

YESTERDAY was my breaking point, but thankfully I broke into a fit of laughter instead of  screaming at him... when he came in all irritated and said "this F***ing garbage man... this must be his signature move... one up one down..  what the hell? "  I was washing dishes at the time and literally FELL over into my kitchen sink hysterically laughing!!  At that point ... he realized he had said this to me BEFORE!  i pointed out...MaNY times before and he went into a fit of laughter!  I said... is this how our old age is going to be??  

I guess as my memory gets worse, I won't even notice his repetitiveness. (unless he is standing on his head)

finally!

I just can't get enough of this perdue chicken in a bag... affectionately  known by me as "the big chicken"
as it was cooking today... I kept talking about it to Mr. petals...." i can't wait for the big chicken"
"omg... smell that delicious big chicken"  " i can not WAIT to EAT the big chicken"  "what are YOU eating for dinner?  the big chicken is all  mine!"    Then.... while we were eating it....  S I L E N C E!  when no one is talking at my table, you can bet we are LOVING our food like CRAZY!!!

It all started a few months ago when we went to a friends for dinner and she served an oven stuffer roaster and hers was moist delicious and cooked perfectly!  I told her HOW much I love chicken, but every time I attempt one of these BIG boys, despite meat thermometer and carefully calculating its timing, as I carve it, I notice it's under cooked, have to put it back in the oven, wash the plate, knife and WAIT! The whole pink juice, raw chicken thing just makes me sick and turned off! Then, i usually put it back for TOO long and  I dry it out and the side dishes are ready and the chicken is gross and there is A LOT of conversation at the table that night.  So she told me her method of roasting it, the next week i tried to do it her way...PINK!
I  then told my meat lady this... ( the lady who puts out meat at the stop and shop)  She is very friendly and we say hello each week. SHE suggested the big chicken. I have to say...It is FOOL proof!  first off ... no washing that raw chicken which always reminds me of a baby and kind of freaks me out.  This sucker comes in a cooking bag, seasoned and ready to roast!  Another great thing?  the amount of juice in this bag is GREAT start for chicken soup! I always time it for 100 minutes and it's perfect! I use the leftovers and carcass and Voila... soup for dinner the next day! BUT- Even better....When I don't make soup...
Well... Did u ever notice, In many movies and tv shows, whenever they open the fridge to look for a snack, there is a delicious BIG yummy looking drum stick in there??  SO often, I've said to my husband  through the years... Mmm that looks so good,wish I could get up and find a snack like that in our fridge!  YUP.... on my way there right now!

Marriage is a marathon of give and take

My husband and I had an argument yesterday. It was so upsetting but thankfully it's so rare. We really get along very well and since arguing is NOT my forte yet he could argue the fleas off a dog, I am relieved it's infrequent. As we are growing old together some of our annoying traits seem to be getting the best of us. He for example, WON'T admit to it, but he repeats his statements and questions, OFTEN. I am not trying to act like an angel here because I admit I do have some very annoying traits, but I have to say... I wouldn't even mind him repeating himself to me, I would patiently keep repeating the same answer, but WHY I get so annoyed and a bit bitchy is because i KNOW if i did this to him, he would be impatient and SCREAM... 'I already told you this!!!"  So ...really, that makes this HIS fault? right?! come on...  RIGHT!!!
As a matter of fact, most of my impatient reactions are only because (the sicilian? or bitch? in me) I have to give him a dose of his own medicine.  


An annoying habit of mine (so HE claims), is that I complain .... A LOT.   I used to listen to his criticism, and try to be conscious of when I did it, so I could try to curb it... but after ALL these years married... it started dawning on me several years ago.... He is WAYyyyy out complaining me!  Trying to argue my point  with this expert arguer would be futile... so i dealt with it in a new way.... I began imitating Mr. Petals at every situation where I just KNEW a complaint would be certain. 


(for example)..EVERY single time we have ever driven down a particular secondary road to get to a shopping center, he has always negatively commented.... 'Who in their right mind would buy these big homes on this busy street?"   So now.... before we get to the big homes... In my big, booming, best Mr. Petals Voice... I say...
(exaggerating my point with a REAL heavy brooklyn ny accent, which he doesn't have but I love to imitate).... 'WhO the hell would buy these freakin homes on this shitty street?? are these stupid people out of their F***ing minds???? '  
And...my husband cracks up laughing at himself.     (genius, no??)
It's been working every time!   When we witness someone driving like a moron.... I BEAT him to the punch...  "Freaking Asshole...get off the F***ing road!"....       He seems to be getting my point and has really cut back on all this senseless complaining!     


Marriage truly is a test of endurance, we all hope its a long distance test. I am finding the best way to ensure it continues, is to find a balance of love, patience, communication and a lot of (freaking) humor.    


sunday scribblings

SIX YEARS OF BLOGGING

SIX YEARS OF BLOGGING!? how can that be?? kind of like... how can it be that my eldest will be 28 yrs. old in two months. I still FEEL 28, well most days i do...certainly not nights, when I get up off that couch and my legs shuffle me oh so slowly to the bathroom, which I need oh so quickly. Six years! how can that be?? kind of like how can it be that my baby is 19! NINETEEN! I was married at 21, he couldn't Possibly handle marriage in two years! Kind of like my middle son being 25... 25!!! I had my first baby at 25, how can that be?? He couldn't be a dad now.. how was I a mom then?? How did this happen?? time is flying by way too quickly.. it just can't be that I am middle aged! wait... middle aged... that would mean I have to live to 104. How can that be??

does that mean I am already OLD?? well... more and more people are living past 100.. so that makes it POSSIBLE that this is the middle. maybe I'm just approaching the end of the middle years and the beginning of old age. Wait... anniversaries should be happy... this is depressing the shit out of me. 6 years ago when i began this luluspetals blog I was only 46. FORTYsix! how can that be... I will be fifty freaking three this summer! 53! sure... some of you that are older think... sheesshh that's so young! YOUNG??!! my hair is thinning, my wrinkles are growing, my bones are aching, my feet hurt my back hurts (well from my new fanged washing system). If I keep on (occasionally) blogging...in 6 more years I will be 59! that's almost SIXTY! sixty?? how can that be... I feel 28 most days! GEE... repeating myself ... maybe this IS old age? anyway.... todays is my blogoversary... i thought I should write something... this is it!!!

Why can't they make things like the good old days??

So.. my super large capacity maytag washer blows it's transmission after 5 & 1/2 short years. Is it just my luck? or do u find they are building temporary appliances, designed to break and be replaced every few years. Not appliances only.. it seems I can't even get a frying pan to hang around a year, before it's non-stick surface is non-existent. So after my very trustworthy repairman tells me... "it doesn't even pay to fix this washer...he also adds... "And WAIT till you go shopping for a new one, YOU will hate them... they now have NO WATER! " He explains they are all made to be energy efficient using a fraction of the amount of water that my Super maytag did.

I set off to the giant appliance store... already soured and determined to find a washer with water.

(this is my first mistake)

Oddly enough... Kevin (trustworthy,miracle repairman) is INcorrect... You CAN still buy the 'old fashioned' type ( from 5 years ago) the type with the agitator in the middle and Tons of wasteful water. Woo hoo! Lucy scores what she thinks is one up on this new fangled crap! (mistake two)

They deliver it the next day...

I notice something I didn't notice in the BIG store... this washer is SMALL ... REAL small. So, I call the salesman and ask if it is as large as my SUPER CAPACITY 'old' maytag?? he gives me a whole lot of mumble jumble that they're measured by cubic ft. now and the old ones weren't ...blah blah blah.... "it should be the same as the maytag". The next day, I attempted to put my king sized sheets in, they just about made it in there, but much more frustrating than that... when I tried to take them out they were SOAKING wet and tied in about 20 knots!!! do u know how difficult it was to undo HEAVY knotted jumbo sheets?? long story shortened... the same thing happened to 2 more wash loads. .. TIMe to call for a repair... on a 2 week OLD new machine!!

Now, mistake three... I SO Wish I could have been home and witnessed... CRAZY mr. Petals response when the repairman tried BLAMING ME (ME! laundry Queen) of Incorrectly loading the machine... he actually asked Mr. Petals... 'Now is your wife placing the clothes in the washer Or Dropping them in?? She needs to DROP them gently and evenly in the machine. My husband said... MY WIFE HAS BEEN DOING LAUNDRY FOR 32 YEARS! ARE U TRYING TO TELL ME THAT SHE NOW NEEDS A LAUNDRY LESSON? SHE IS KNOWN HERE AS THE LAUNDRY QUEEN! IS THIS WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME??? I WANT TO RETURN THIS PIECE OF S**T AND GET A NEW ONE!

He was told that they have to make 3-4 repair visits before a return is ever considered... so my husband said...well set up another visit for next week and the week after that...because if that's what it takes... you can waste your time and mine and keep coming back each week until I get a refund...

They came for it the next day.

This time when I shopped... I decided to allow the savy salesman to explain 'high efficiency' to me.

well it turns out...it actually made sense! He used the following analogies... when u wash ur hands... do u want to sit them in a sink FULL of dirty water? or constantly run clean water over them?? and instead of an agitator the clothes rub on each other kind of like how our ancestors rubbed them on a rock near the river in the olden days....(hmmm.... why didn't brilliant Kevin know this theory?) it made some sense to me now.

He had me sold, but before I committed, I tried to reach into this Gigantic, agitator-less machine... "Gee, I am on my tippy toes and I still can't reach the bottom" To which the savvy salesman said... 'does that really matter? do u think you really ever need to reach the bottom?"

( I SWEAR TO YOU.... HE SAID THAT!!!!! YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!!!)

had he NEVER done laundry??? I looked at him trying VERY hard to not let my expression show him that I thought he was a complete moron now and I wasn't sure I could trust that great sales pitch he had going a minute ago. I looked right at him and softly said..... you know ... you need to reach down and pick up like a sock or something. As I said this, I thought about the step stool i keep in my laundry room and the giant bar-b-que tongs I never use... and....

I make the decision to go for it. To spend EVEN more and buy this EVEN bigger than super capacity BIG, No Water, No agitator, high efficiency, can't reach into the bottom without tongs or a step stool.... new fangled washer!!!

Well... so far I am happy with the results of the clothes but doing the laundry is a bit more complicated than ever before... Because I am UP on a step stool taking out the wet clothes, I can't simply fling them into the dryer like before... NOW... I keep a laundry basket propped up on top of my rolling hampers. I put the wet in there then have to get down off my stool ( hang up my tongs) and lift the Heavy basketful of wet clothes, put it in front of the dryer and then throw them in there! Modern conveniences! no river,no rock...but made to break our backs ...just like the good old days!

(picture to come soon!!!)

possible!

The week after new years, I received the nicest call from a complete stranger, with whom I chatted away with, for about an hour! She wasn't sure she had the phone number of the actual person she had been searching for, and after 15 years of searching, she was beginning to think that it may not be possible to ever find ...my husband. (NO, she wasn't a long lost lover or mother of a child he is unaware of!!)

Fifteen years ago, When my husband Peter left a salon he had been working at, he tried contacting all of his hair clients to let them know where he was moving to. Unfortunately, he didn't have ALL of his clients contact information.

Mary so sweetly told me that she had always been skittish about doing anything with her hair until a friend recommended my husband. He encouraged her to perm her hair and she Loved the results and HIM! she went on to tell me SO many beautiful compliments about his personality, his great sense of humor, his talent, oh and also... how Handsome he is!

She had asked Peters ex-boss to PLEASE tell her his new location and he (falsely) claimed he didn't know it. A few months later she asked for Peter's last name, hoping she could look him up, but the grouchy boss wouldn't comply.

Mary went on to tell me that finding Peter became an obsession with her! It also became a joke between her and her daughter Terry, who insisted she should give up, that it was impossible!

Mary however, who prior to peter, had been through too many bad hair experiences, always had felt hopeful. She told me that any time she would go to a shopping center and noticed it had a hair salon, she would pop her head in the door and say... 'excuse me, does a Peter work here??" Some times there was a Peter, but not her Peter.. or should I say MY Peter! As the years passed, she eased up her search but still hoped it was possible. Her daughter had dated a man named Peter which then stirred up her head-hunter story again, And again, her daughter would laugh and say..."give it up Mom, you are NEVEr going to find your Peter'!

So by now (if you're still with me) you're curious, I'm sure!, to know... HOW did she come to find our phone number and HER Peter!

Before Christmas, while waiting to go into yet another surgery, Mary turned to her compassionate nurse and said, I am so upset about losing all of my hair. The sweet nurse said, don't worry, it's going to grow in even more beautiful and before you know it, you will need a haircut. Mary then told her nurse about Her long lost Peter. How she finally had to give in and try another hairstylist, how it was awful and how she then had let her hair grow long, so she didn't have to deal with bad haircuts as often. Denise heard all about the search, All about Mary's friends and family teasing her about her futile attempts. Denise then said... tell me about Peter? where did he work? Mary couldn't remember the name of the salon but knew the street it was on. Denise then asked... Describe him? Mary went on with great detail about his looks and charismatic ways. Denise took Mary's hand and with the kindest smile said... what if I told you, I think I know your Peter!?! I'm pretty sure, who you're describing, is married to my good friend Lucy! Mary was so excited she temporarily forgot what she was going through.

Mary went on to tell me that Denise gave her our phone number after the surgery. When Mary's daughter Terry came to the hospital to see her, the first thing Mary said was .. I FOUND PETER!!!

Terry was worried her mother was still delirious from the anesthesia! She said, They laughed for a long time afterward.

Mary is waiting for her hair to grow in and as soon as it's long enough, She is looking so forward to visiting with her favorite hairstylist. (they have since spoken)

I know I am married to a very wonderful man, but hearing Mary's story not only reconfirmed that fact, but it made me really think about How many lives we all touch in our day to day lives. Wether you connect with many people every day like a hairdresser does, or just the smile that you give one stranger, which may be the only one they receive all day, it's always possible to touch lives in a positive way.

sundayscribblings

3 gifts! (but no...gold, frankincense and myrrh)

Tis the season to be giving! I've decided that I'm going to give all of you, some of my wisdom this festive week! To give away that which you don't have much of... oh BOY! that's truly a special gift! So get ready to jot this s**t down!! Some of our wisdom is passed down to us from our parents. Some of our social graces as well! For instance, it was my mom who instilled in me, that if you EVER visit someone without at least a piece of cake in your hand, you better prepare yourself for a visit to the bowels of hell as well. She also taught me to say please and thank-you and to send a thank you note when you receive a gift. HOWEVER, What she never taught me about but what I want to 'gift' to you today is... 'the day after phone call'. It was my friend Flora who passed on this warm social grace to me about 10 years ago! Many of you may already be practicing this one,(Your mom may have been one up on mine!! ) Good for you! (hopefully you will enjoy my other fabulous gifts...smartiepants!)

Any time we're invited to a home for a celebration (cake or lasagna in hand!!) Any time someone has us over for a dinner and especially a HOLIDAY dinner, where you know your hostess has killed herself to make this lovely visit possible... it's SO considerate/lovely/gracious/loving/friendly..... to make sure you CALL her the day after!!!

SO often, you sit with your significant other, reflecting on the day before .... "AWW Flora went to sooo much trouble, wasn't her shrimp scampi delicious? and she even used the good china!" so how wonderful is it to pick up the phone and TELL HER this!?? it's freaking wonderful! trust me! I can't believe HOW many years it took me to begin this crucial ritual!! I used to just say thank you as I hugged myself out their door. Whenever I host as I just did this past weekend and I DON'T get the day after phone call, I usually feel a bit disappointed until I remind myself that not EVERYONE has been gifted this amazing bit of kindhearted wisdom!! (so pass it on!)

Trust me... and try it next time! you will make your host feel so GReat!! (and great things you do ...always come back to you!) (If they're smart enough to learn from you doing it!!!)

GIFT #2!!- the easy knot!!! when my kids were too little to tie their shoes and their shoes were always untying, I learned how to do a knot that UNlike that damn DOUBLE knot that always frustrates and makes your nails split... will EASILY Pull apart when YOU'RE ready to untie!!! GREAT stuff here at Lucy's petals, NO??

step 1- make that first loop

step2- wrap the other lace around the first loop as you normally would but here comes...

STEP 3!- when you pull the lace around the first loop and into itself... CONTINUE until it's ALL the way thru! NOW....

step 4- make a loop with it (bunny ear for those still raising babies) and tie the two ears together!!! Unlike just tying two bunny ears together.... doing it my way allows for you to just pull One lace and it will ALL untie!!! (i bet NOTHING in your stocking was equivalent

to this one!) everyday as you do this NEW better way of tying...my name should fondly pass thru your brain!

Gift 3- OHIO. my acronym for ONly Handle it Once! Bills, thank you cards, thank you CALLS, dr.s appointments, replying to emails, rebate slips, filing, refilling scripts, following thru on anything!... GET IT DONE the first time you touch it, talk about it, THINK of it! If I didn't follow my OHIO rule, my life would be even more unorganized than it already is!

So...begin tying the lucy way NoW! then hurry up and call your Christmas hosts! OH... but wait! don't think you're popping back here later tonight...that never happens.... FIRST...drop me a comment!! and in case I don't get back to blogland (OHIO)Wishing you all a VERY healthy, fun, loving and FESTIVE NEW Year!

the JOY in gift giving ;)

Having small children can really limit a couples intimacy time. When our boys were young, active and ALWAYS within earshot... mr. petals and I found a crafty way to grab some... eh hem... Alone time!

We happened upon it accidently... We were locked up in our bedroom frantically rushing, wrapping the kids Christmas gifts one sunday afternoon. Within a few minutes the boys were knocking and asked... what are u doing in there? Mr. Petals replied... 'We are wrapping presents and If you stay in the den and play nice together while we are in here, we will give you ONE early Christmas gift when we're done! Excitedly they complied and excitedly we stole some extra time to unwrap each other, rustling a little foiled reindeer paper here and there, in case one of those little monkeys decided to listen by the door! So began our little genius charade to rendezvous!

After the new year, we decided to collect tiny, inexpensive treasures and keep them in a shopping bag in our bedroom closet. Fun erasers, plastic soldiers, pogs, fancy pencils, yoyo's, pokeman cards... ALREADY wrapped, READY to go! Sexy mr. petals (also, always ready to go) adopted a new 'line' when he wrapped his loving arms around me... "want to go wrap some presents??" It was Amazing how quiet and well behaved our boys would stay when they thought we were 'wrapping gifts' for them! Quite an innocent fib and small price to help keep our marriages love light burning!

The boys are grown now. No more excuses needed for alone time for us, We are empty nesters! But during Christmas time I often get nostalgic so with a wink and a smile I cuddle up to mr. petals and ask...

"Want to wrap some presents??"

sundayscribblings

A vote... for the importance of family

Today I read in the paper that the man who wrote "itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow Polka Dot Bikini" passed away. His name was lee Pockriss, he was 87. How many of you remember that song? I was only 1 when it was released but I have SUCH a vivid, wonderful memory of it.

When i was little, it was such a treat when we took (what had seemed like) the Looong trip into Queens to visit my cousin Terri's family.

Terri was born 4 years before me on the very same day. I always felt that gave us a special connection and I Always idolized her! As was very typical in Italian families, My Aunt Marie entertained in the finished basement of their Queens home, Not to Dare rustle the plastic on the 'good' furniture upstairs! The basement had a full kitchen with a dining table equipped for (what had then seemed like).. 52 people. The sauce was always simmering, the love was always brimming, the laughter...bountiful. Terri's dad, My mothers Brother Joe, always made me feel very special, very part of his beautiful family. Not having a dad of my own, I think that is part of the reason, those rare trips to their home always made me feel so warmhearted... yet afterward, so lonely..... longing for all that they shared.

On one of our trips to Uncle Joe's house, Terri asked me if I wanted to go 'UPSTAIRS' to the living room, to hear some records. I remember thinking she may get into trouble to venture to the 'forbidden' part of the house. Even though I was her younger cousin, Terri Never made me feel it was a chore to entertain me. She was always so kind to me, always with that gorgeous big smile! When she played the record 'polka dot bikini', I was sooo excited and thought it the most fun song I had ever heard. I think she must have played that song for me, at least 10 times! ( It was also fun to peak into the actual kitchen, across the way, to see what it looked like!)

As I grew, Terri and I became pen pals. Through her letters to me, I followed her career, her crush on the boy down the street, their dating, their engagement! When I was 16 she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids at their wedding! You can imagine how exciting that was for me!

Through the years my husband and I became close friends with Terri and her husband and even though they moved out of our state a very long time ago and we don't get to see them often... My heart will always hold a very special place for them. For All of them... uncle Joe who passed 5 years ago Aunt Marie , thoughtful and sweet.... and for Terri....for the beautiful memories that stir up.... with a song title or a pot of sundays spaghetti sauce.

Bird Dog Molly

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'Follow Your Bliss....

........ and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls”

Hard to believe but April 20th marks 5 years since I began this blog! It all began when my friend Ann mentioned she had a blog and I asked her WTF is a blog? After hearing me complain that I wish I had MORE to do with this expensive computer than just dust it, she began explaining it to me and encouraging me to start my own. First I questioned her ... What do I have to write about? Since her blog had a knitting theme, I knew I had NO theme at all. She encouraged me to write about the funny experiences in my salon, my life, day to day stuff. Second, I said... I would NEVER be techie enough to know how to even begin, but being a good egg, she talked me through it step by step, H T T P this and mumbley jumble that. A blog was born! (thanks so much again Ann!)

So here I am, 5 years later! 683 posts under my belt (or finger tips.) Nearly 25,ooo views. I've written about a lot of this and that including stories from my hair salon and some of my wacky/lovable clients! The thing about blogging that I had never expected when I began? I've met such wonderful people through this forum, including one very special soul sister, who I treasure and I know I will be friends with forever! Blogging seemed to open other doors as well. For me, it seemed to help take me out of what I now view as a 'comfortable BLAH'. Maybe it was depression? I am in such a social job and talk and laugh with (mostly) women all day, but I felt I wanted to socialize more, I wanted to surround myself with More outings, more of my old friends, also make new friends but I seemed trapped in this unfulfilled yet totally unmotivated mode of .... "eh, I'm not in the mood!" Not in the mood to call a friend, plan a lunch date, have more company, Meet more people, initiate friendships, PUT MYSELF OUT THERE! I worked and raised my kids and occasionally went out with couple friends, gathered with family but inside I just wasn't feeling ..... complete. My husband constantly encouraged me to make more friends, one way being... get friendlier with the clients that he knew I really loved. I always said 'nah'. I don't want to.

The changes that have happened to me in the last 5 years are amazing. Little by little, with the cathartic outlet of writing, I got back to the friendly, outgoing Lucy that I always used to be. (I swear NO meds either!! haha) I am so lucky to have many amazing women in my life. Women NEED women. I don't care if your husband is your best friend and a gem, WE NEED OUR GIRLFRIENDS too!!! Many who at one time were my clients! I think of how many of them I used to turn down when they asked me to get together with them. Thankfully I turned that social leaf or I would Never be living the life I am currently living. Key word- Living! I feel so much more fulfilled and happy.

About two years ago, One dear client/friend came into my salon ALL excited because she had just tried a New thing called.. Zumba! She rushed in and said...I know how much you Love to dance...You HAVE to come to zumba with me!! the old me? I would have made some half ass excuse but the new me said... I would love to! I think of that and how far I've come with this as well, and I still can't believe that I've embarked upon teaching DANCE/FITNESS classes at my stage of life! I feel this has been an amazing accomplishment and I've never felt this proud of myself.... EVER!

I didn't start this post with a clue of what to write about this anniversary or even a POINT to make! but I now know what my point is.... GET OUT THERE! DON't be afraid to get your ass out of whatever blah comfort spot you're in. Open doors! One thing leads to even better things! First blogging and now through Zumba, I've met even MORE wonderful, dear friends, who I treasure and who I will be friends with forever. I can't imagine if I wouldn't have ventured out to that first class and from there ventured out to that first workshop to become a certified zumba teacher. Don't get me wrong...EVERy step of the way, I second guessed myself, my abilities, my SANITy!! but I DID it! Life is so freaking short... it's NOT a dress rehearsal.. we can't keep thinking...'another day' 'another time'. Open new doors, DO New things and open new paths! THIS is it! Your time! What are you going to do to make it more blissful? It would be a great anniversary gift if you share with me... what your desire is and HOW you're going to MAKE it happen!! thanks for listening!

" the doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live"

The word angel comes from angelos which is the Greek word for messenger

I haven' t blogged in such a long time but just like that treasured longtime girlfriend that You always know will be there for you, no matter how much time has passed between lunch dates with her... my blog too, is here when I need it to be. There is something comforting about this outlet.

I feel I need some comforting this week, my heart seems extra heavy with the weight of so many significant concerns and on top of them so many odd things triggering the pain of many memories of sooo long ago. It's worrisome for me when I find myself STILL pained by memories that are so long past and usually SO long forgotten. I imagine I have these heartaches hidden away in the darkest corners of my being, being guarded behind a locked, darkened window by some type of keeper. Lately though, it's like this little keeper has been a mischievous girl, prying open the window, allowing random, silly triggers to blow in and stir up all those dusty stored piles of hurt feeling, neglect and unfulfilled needs and allowing them to flow out. They flutter up up up, around and around and land heavily on my heart and mind.

Yesterday, I found myself wondering if this keeper is a little rascal or is she perhaps more a messenger Angel of sorts, pushing me to do something about all this antiquated, unwanted clutter.

THREE times this week, a book that had triggered much trouble from this messenger when I had originally read it, was brought up in conversation to me. 'A tree grows in Brooklyn.' I can't even write, read or hear the title, without it evoking the same heavy heart that reading it gave me. When I had read that book, I found myself taking out my old worn out notebook of notes, that I occasionally gathered in my life, notes that I had put up on a shelf and forgot about. Feverishly writing memory after hurtful memory, deliriously intending to one day organize it into some kind of book about my crazy life story! But now, Three times in one week? Along with hearing many emotional songs that are acting as triggers like the poignant song 'farmers daughter' by Crystal Bowersox, which has a few lines that move me to tears. How can ALL these signs not be some kind of message?? Maybe my angel is messengering me to FIND the tattered notebook and take IT AND that 'crazy' dream of writing my novel off the shelf and like a good spring cleaning, open up the window and sweep up every messy corner of my soul.

sundayscribblings

heartless?

So my mom calls me crying yesterday. She has been 'fired' from her VOLUNTEER job!

My mom, who will be 82 this year, has dedicated 10 years of her life to helping at this hospital, 8 hours each week. EVERY time I speak to her she tells me that she LIVES for this job! Through these 10 years, She has been nominated for volunteer of the year, She has sent me copies of letters from people praising her kindness and help. She was even praised in the local paper after helping a patients daughter, who just happened to be a reporter. Mom sits in the surgery waiting area and is there to answer the phone and communicate with family members while their loved ones are having surgery. She is also allowed to call the recovery room and inquire about the patients condition if the family member requests that. Their reason for 'asking her to leave' is that the nurse (bitch?) in the recovery room claims my mom called one day 8 times. Mom denies it was that often. The same nurse also claims that she over heard my mom telling a family member that they couldn't have any more cookies. ( insert my 'what the F*** expression here)

I know they say there are always 3 sides to every story, yours, their's and the truth. All I know is WHATEVER the real story is... this is Bullshit! Are they aware that this woman has lost 3 husbands, buried all her siblings, lives alone, thrives on getting out to be kind and helpful to strangers, is extremely compassionate and completely Harmless?? I am so heart broken for her. I offered to call the director of volunteers to just convey my moms feelings better and question the problem. Mom agreed and actually was relieved to have someone step in. Well, I left a cell message yesterday,but have not heard back yet.

In all fairness, to try to tell THEIR side of the story fairly... they DID offer to send her to another facility to help out. Although that sounds nice, I didn't care for them wording it to her that it's 'Like a promotion". She is not 12. Please don't patronize my mother. My mother is so comfortable in her current position and location. She knows all the doctors and they all joke with her and hug her and this adds to making her days there delightful. Sending an elderly woman to a new location and calling it a promotion is adding insult to injury, in my opinion.

If this director doesn't call me back by tuesday (giving her the 3 day weekend). I am considering trying to contact the head of the hospital. I already searched the website and I don't see an email address for him, but I am hoping their main Number can connect me. Not sure if I can help my mom, but this fire in my belly is propelling me to give it my best try.

What would you do? Any suggestions or comments would be so appreciated!