Thursday, May 04, 2006

10 lbs. of balony in a l lb. bag

I am very excited about our upcoming vacation. It has been a long, long, LONG time since we have been away. I don't mind all the preparation, the planning, the packing...... I only have one problem....... the dreaded...... Bathing Suit shopping!!!! ( wish I could plug in that movie horror music they use while killing people, right now) I think every woman can relate to this horrific, self confidence crushing, gruesome experience. I just don't get it. I'm not obese. I mean like most americans, I can use to loose about 15 lbs. But damn it, I'm not a house! Why is it that those unwanted pounds become like 100 lbs. when trying to get your ass into nylon and spandex? I may just opt for shorts and stay out of the water. Should I even go into the swim suit top? My breasts Have seen better days, but they're still workable! Why must they look like all hope is lost in these wireless, skimpy, boob sacks? I recently told my mother in law, that I admire those 200+ pound women who go to the beach in a string bikini. She was outraged at my statement, She said " Admire them?? Don't admire them, they are insane!"
Are they? It must be nice to not be so self conscious, to be a free spirit, to dry off more quickly than with cutoffs. Oh well, I am sure I will work this out. I am waiting for a victorias secret "Miracle" suit to arrive in the mail. I have always believed in miracles. But if this one works, I will believe in the tooth fairy too.
( how about magic mirrors?)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your mother-in-law is right! There are some things that are not meant to be viewed by the general public or those with weak stomaches. Personally, I think some of those gals need to invest in a full-length mirror and take a look at reality.
Don't even get me started on Speedos! Yikes!