stupid is as stupid does

As I waited patiently reading a book in the hospital waiting room this week, I over heard a conversation that had me thinking of Abbott and Costello.
A doctor came over to the woman next to me and told her that her dads surgery went very well. Then they spoke further and I wasn't paying any attention to them until this started...
Doc- "So, All looks well... I won't call you unless things should change."
Woman- "What day would you call me?"
Doc-"No, I'm saying if he stays doing this well, I Won't call."
Woman-"Yeah, But IF you call.. When would that be?"
Doc- "No, No, Don't worry... Everything looks great, I would only call if he wasn't doing well."
woman- "Oh, So You're not calling me?"
Doc-( looking dumbfounded)- "Only IF he ISN'T doing well."
Woman- "Yeah, but I mean Like WHAT DAY would that be? You know?"
Doc- (remains silent and staring at her in disbelief for a few seconds)-"IF after a few days he doesn't show signs of improving.
( reassuringly) I'm sure I won't be calling, He looks great.."
Woman ( interrupting his sentence).. "But HOW many days would that maybe be?"
Doc- ( at this point the doc makes eye contact with me, and I give an expression with my eyes equivalent to saying HOlY Shit!) "Listen.... IF in 2 days or 3 days or 5 days, he is NOT doing well, Then THAT is When I will have to call you. OKAY??"
Woman- "So you don't know when you're going to call me?"
Doc- "No because he is doing well. Your dad is fine, let's not worry about the call, Okay.. Have a nice day. You can call ME if you need anything."
Patience IS a virtue, that guy was a fucking saint
The next day as I was shopping for a bar-b-cue. The MANAGER of PC Richard's said to me... " I've PUTTEN many barbecues together."
I thought ..... I Bet HE is that WOMANS Bastard son.
Gee, it's only wednesday ..... I wonder how stupid the rest of this week will be.