Somedays, aren't yours at all

Why is my body betraying me so much? I feel like, for every positive baby step I take forward, my body takes 2 giant negative steps backwards. I haven't been feeling well lately, I kept blaming menopause, but after feeling faint while driving the other day, I decided to listen to my dr. and see a neurologist. He took an hours worth of notes on all that's been going on and Now i am waiting for authorization for another mri. Meanwhile, yesterday, despite feeling shitty from this cold I've been fighting, I made the stupid decision to NOT cancel my zumba class and I showed up to teach.

After 45 min into the class, I started getting those same scary feelings... black spots in front of my eyes, the sound of the music became muffled, I was lightheaded, clammy and nauseous, I knew I was going to go down. I stopped the music and told the class I wasn't feeling well and needed a minute. Thank goodness my good friend was in my class, she came running and had me sit down and prevented my fainting. Also, one of my students coincidentally was a dr. and she came running as well. She wanted to call an ambulance, because she couldn't feel my pulse and the dizziness was Not passing. Long story shortened, i instead saw my dr.(well, her NP) who said I have a sinus infection. I'm not saying I know MORE than a nurse practitioner, but I know MY body and MY history and I feel I had such POOR medical care. I was feeling SO lethargic and was FREEZING with chills, even though I had no fever, yet she didn't do any blood work. My history shows my blood count goes dangerously low when I'm sick. I came home from that appointment and stayed under a million blankets and just shook for hours! I slept for 15 hours. Today I am still light headed and am so scared to feel faint again while home alone. I know it's silly to feel so pessimistic but between this problem, my knee problems, and my migraines... I am worried that my much desired zumba career, may have to be nixed. I don't know why, but whenever I don't feel well, I just cry like a big baby. I also, can't help but think THE WORST. My Aunt died of brain cancer, My Grandma died before I was born due to a heart attack in her sleep at age 55! I am scared to be sick. I wish I could be an optimistic person. But, I keep hearing of SO many young people with dreadful circumstances, I am worried I will be one too. (here come the tears again) Somedays, it's just not possible to be the positive Lucy who is always looking for the good. :(

Bright Idea

Mr. Petals and I enjoyed a three day mini break from work for our 30th anniversary celebration!

Our son Nick and his girlfriend surprised us with play tickets, so we began our mini-holiday in style.. eating at our favorite italian restaurant in Manhattan (Patsys) and then seeing the very powerful play.. FELA! Patti Labelle played Fela's mother and her incredible voice had me in goosebumps! The african music and especially the dancing was thrilling!

We arrived in Manhattan early and were happy to see that broadway was closed for blocks because of a street fair. We enjoyed the sounds of Jamaican tunes coming from booths selling cds and the delicious smells from all the various food stands were a perfect appetizer! We browsed many hand made items and I finally purchased a beautiful glass heart pendant which was a Whopping 3 dollars!

The next two days were uneventful but very relaxing and enjoyable. We strolled through the tanger mall one day. When the weather is nice, which it was, that place makes you feel like you're strolling along in a european city.

Mr. Petals encouraged me to pop in to many shops but I kept resisting the temptation until I saw... the betsey Johnson shop! I found the most adorable little baby cotton black dress with buttons ALL down the front and three tiers of ruffles on the butt! It was marked down from 178.00 to 60.00!!! I couldn't resist! When we got home I had the BRIGHT IDEA that this little dress would make a great Wednesday Adams costume! If only we had a party to go to! No sooner did I get those words out, I recieved an email invitation to our neighbors halloween party!

Mr. Petals did up his own hair and makeup so well! But...he wasn't really sure WHAT he was. When we arrived at the party the host's daughter who is only 18 said... WOW... demented clown, right??? haha We of course said RIGHT!!! My wednesday adams costume even got me one nomination for 'best costume' prize... but I happily lost to 'hit girl' whose outfit was GREAT!
Overall.... That last week in October was romantic, entertaining and LOT's of FUN!
sunday scribblings

meme time

I'm so happy my sweet friend Diana tagged me to do a Meme. I haven't had as much blogging time lately and when I do get a moment to blog, I find there is SO much to say, I just don' t know where to begin! So, today i begin by answering Diana's questions and then the rules imply that I must tag others and ask them new questions!

The four questions Diana asked me...
1. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

I have many Diana, but I think one that is so fun is the one We started with our kids a few years back which we call Christmas day FRY FEST! They invite their friends over and we set up the deep fryer and have THE most fattening fun day! From zucchini to calamari to shrimp to fries to nuggets to sweet potatoes! every year there's something new in there! Everyone enjoys this casual yummy time!

2. You're in a time machine? Where are you going?

OH I am Definitely going BACK in time... the future is NOt for me Diana! I would LOVE to go back to a time before 1962 the year my dad died. I would love to go back to when he was healthy and get to know the man that I never had the opportunity to know. he passed away when I was only 3.

3. What is your favorite store?

for house wares? it's got to be Bed/bath and beyond! I can stay there all day!

4. What is your favorite movie ever?

ever?? Come on Diana... that's hard when you're a movie lover!! Okay...I am going to have to say the wizard of Oz!

thanks for thinking of me!

I am asking anyone who wants to do this meme to please tag yourself with these questions..

1.If you could only eat ONE food for the rest of your life which would it be?

2. What is the best compliment you've ever been given?

3. If you could go back in history and interview ONE person, who would it be?

4. What's your favorite quality about YOU? don't be shy!

It's been so long since I last posted, I almost feel uncomfortable choosing something to write about, but I just came from my sweet buddy Giggles blog and her words as usual, have inspired me to just TRY to get back here and write. period.

This uncomfortable feeling reminded me of how uncomfortable we feel when we lose touch with people.. Have you ever felt this?... It's been so long... the obligation feels like it's in your hands.... but you've been out of touch for a year or more... how do you make that phone call? Awkward but necessary to continue this relationship with dear friends that you have less in common with now but they're friends that you've had for over 30 years. Hmmm (I'll have to procrastinate a bit longer with this problem)

As I predicted nearly two months ago in my last post... I've been Busy! My library Zumba jobs don't begin until Nov 9th BUT... about one month ago, I was hired by a local community center to teach Zumba every thurs. eve! I've also been teaching every other sunday at the same center, helping out a friend with her class until her injury heals. I am LOVING teaching! My first class... I was So scared... I felt so nervous and was sure I would never remember all the steps to 15 songs... BUT!!! guess what?? it went better than I had ever expected!! WHY do we always doubt ourselves?? ALL those needless, worrisome, sleepless nights!! The program director, who hired me called me and left me the absolute BEST message! She said... "Lucy... these members are VERy vocal and I usually hear complaints... But EVERYONE is coming to me to tell me HOW much they LOVE your class and they LOVE YOU!!!" (What always went hand and hand with my self-doubting?? NEVER admitting or sharing praise like this! Well... here it is!! I am putting it out there and am NOT going to be embarrassed about sharing a compliment that I am doing a super job!) (okay.. i admit it... I almost deleted that compliment)

What is surprising me a lot about this new endeavor?? I never expected to love choreographing my own routines so much. Like an artist who paints a beautiful picture and enjoys seeing the reaction of admirers... When I look out at the students who are not only mirroring All the steps and moves that I put together to go with the music, but also ENJOYING doing them and doing them so well.... WOW! I am feeling so proud of myself! I had so many wonderful people encouraging me to get going with this dream I had.. but I keep thinking of my friend Ana.. who said... 'Lucy.. JUST START! it will all fall into place." What a good lesson that is and it can pertain to so many things that we are always either worried about or putting off or OVER thinking! Just start!! or as Nike so brilliantly coined... JuSt DO it!

(hmmm guess I better call my dear old friends tomorrow morning :)

wow.. Look at that ... I actually wrote something! Whew! the blog ice is broken!

a quick blog update...
*Summer just FLEW by!
(i feel sad to see it pass, the weather has been Beautiful and I enjoyed extra days off from work)

*My youngest son is leaving for college in a few days.
(I've been an emotional wreck, although I know he is going to thrive and LOVE this school, I keep questioning so much like ...Did I prepare him enough?)

*I've accomplished my goal of getting a job teaching Zumba!
(I am contracted to two local libraries beginning in November, NERVOUS but so excited too)

*Today...My husband just gave me an EARLY 30th anniversary gift! (which is not until October) A new setting for the diamond from my engagement ring and a matching wedding band!
(I feel so spoiled and have such a difficult time justifying this but he's been saving since our 25th anniversary! The gold band on my old ring wore out so dangerously thin, I haven't worn it in years. So why are my palms so sweaty!? Major purchases shatter my nerves but I am so excited too.)

* I've forgiven my mom, Once again.
(after that last rant and how upset I felt, I thought I would be feeling awful for a long time, but letting it go and forgiving again, gives my heart peace.)

Well.... that's my update! I am hoping I can try to blog a bit more frequently, but between Making Many oatmeal cookies to send in my son's care packages and practicing my zumba routines and creating new choreography, while working my normal job... I have a feeling the next few months may have me blogging even less. Happy/safe labor day weekend to all! and Also a Happy Fall!

dangerously honest

Is it dangerous to throw our feelings out to cyber space? Since joining face book, I am realizing that so much that I had written on this blog, that i felt so safe to share with unknown readers, is now being read by people who are actually in my life, who actually mean a lot to me. I was so naive to think i was ever being anonymous on the WORLD WIDE web! What a moron! Speaking from the heart, honestly, pouring out your feelings, letting hurtful memories dance free on the page instead of festering in your gut, without considering WHO may read them, may have been dangerous but it was also therapeutic. After the phone call I just had... I am throwing danger to the Wind of the web once more! It's not that I haven't learned my lesson... NO.. it's that i've reached a point where i just don't give a damn anymore! I have reached a point where I am tired of always trying to be the respectful daughter to a mother who is clueless to what respect means. Dangerous yet? you betcha!
I feel so hurt today, but it IS my own fault. When will I learn that I can't ever tell my mom something in confidence? Venting my feelings to her last week only to find out she called my sister and misconstrued my entire point? Shouldn't a mother try to bring her children CLOSER together?? I know that's what I do. I am Always encouraging my sons to be close. For her to go out of her way and TRY to make trouble between her two daughters seems dangerously demented. For her to then try and deny the fact that it was anything but hurtful and wrong, makes it all the more hurtful. WHY would a mom do this? Does AnYONE have some insight?

To make the conversation just a wee bit more painful, when something she said brought me back to the fact that she abandoned me at 17 years old and chose her 3rd husband over her daughter, she conveniently had amnesia to THE ENTIRE EVENT in our history. I had to tell her the story and RE-Live it again in my heart. She claimed she has NO memory of it all going the way it went. She sounded shocked by her actions over 30 years ago. She didn't even remember the fact that my sister stopped speaking to her for 2 years over how She treated me.
It was NOT my intention to make my mom feel badly about herself today.It was my intent to tell her HOW disappointed she made me by disrespecting my confidence in her. NOW I am left with my heart aching all over again. The pain this woman continues to give me is dangerous to my well being. The well being blogging continues to give me just seems to help me to heal.
sunday scribblings

Inheritance tracks

My talented, lovely friend Keith over at Keiths ramblings Passed this on to me....
Keith wrote...."Every Saturday morning at about 9.50am, the BBC’s ‘sensible’ channel, Radio Four, broadcasts a short feature called ‘Inheritance Tracks. Each week a person of fame, intelligence, notoriety or illustriousness selects two pieces of music: the first is a recording which has been part of their lives for as long as they can remember, and the second, a track which they would like to pass on to future generations. Although I have myself broadcast on the radio in the past, I’m not of sufficient prominence to be invited to contribute to this delightful weekly diversion, so I thought I’d set up my stall here! May I present to you the Inheritance Tracks of.... ME!"

Well Keith, Here is MY View on the subject!... I've given this some thought, yet I still would like to choose the FIRST song that popped into my head when I First read the first part of your prompt. For as Long as I can remember my mother loved to sing. As a child I didn't appreciate her love for music as much as I wish I would have. I have such vivid memories of going to many house parties as a child and EVERY time, no matter where we were, my mom would break out into song! I remember clearly being mortified! My siblings and I would roll our eyes and feel the heat of embarrassment cover our red little faces! Today, I think back to those days and feel pride for her fun loving spirit and regret that I wasn't mature enough to appreciate and truly enjoy her self confidence and outgoing nature. She sang many songs and today at 81 years old, she STILL has a very powerful voice and is often heard belting out tunes in the surgery waiting room at the hospital that she volunteers at!
ONE song stands out over all the rest, maybe because i knew it was considered a 'dirty' song and that of course is Quite impressive to any kid! It was difficult to find the complete song on you tube. My mother seemed to have many extra verses about lazy mary because I remember one verse being about a butcher man...Well here it is.. First verse in Italian and second in English... just the way mama sang it! I can see her clearly. She's laughing and gesturing with the lyrics and has a captivated audience who are all so happy they came to this fun party! This song really has been part of my life since the day I was born and will always be in my heart next to mama mia. Please listen to... C'e La Luna Mezzo Mare


Now.. as far as a song that I would love to pass on to future generations.... That's easy.. Even though there are a zillion inspirational songs with beautiful messages out there... There is only one that sums it all up so beautifully for me, so hopeful, so moving, so what I hope for future generations... Just Imagine all the possibilities..


(thanks mr.keith! not only did i enjoy doing this... You've got me blogging again!) xoxo

My frog sleeps with the fishes :(

It began about 8 weeks ago... every evening while mr. petals and I were soaking in the hot tub, we noticed a cute little frog sitting on our patio. He seemed so content and he seemed to be watching us. Our dogs would not move a muscle... they just stood at attention watching the frog watching us. I wasn't positive it was his home, but the frog always seemed to be standing near a very wide crack in our patios cement. I imagined he lived in there. Mr. Petals said it did seem likely, and once we did see him jump in there.

On fathers day, Mr. Petals had big plans! I bought him a fountain for his beautiful flower garden that he's been creating. He and our sons were out there all day, digging a trench to lay the wiring for the fountain, cementing the box for electric, laying down new mulch and erecting the new fountain! Everything went smoothly! it came out BEAUTIFUL! (see photo below!!) That night while we soaked his aching muscles in our hot tub, I looked over the edge to the broken spot in our patio, where I knew my little frog friend would be spying on us.
What I saw made me Scream and startle Mr. Petals muscles into knots again!! The crack was cemented shut! SEALED UP! and sadly there was NO Frog in sight! ANYWHERE!! "WHAT DID U DO??" YOU KILLED OUR FROG!!?? Defensively, Mr. Petals said.." I did not! He wasn't in there when I fixed that!" To which I replied.. 'OH really?? HOW do u know that??!! Did You try to move something in there to see if he was there?? Did u even THINK about that frog when you sealed up his home??!!" I was so upset! He kept saying.. "OH come on! He wasn't in there!" and I said... "Look around?? THEN WHERE IS HE??? You gave him cement shoes!"

That poor little frog!! Maybe I am overly sensitive, but my heart is breaking for that little creature!!
Please don't think 'Don' Petals is a monster... In his defense... The heat was RIDICULOUSLY intense that day and that big crack was dangerously close to a set of steps which was hazardous, so in his busy, exhausting day.. he took advantage of the extra cement he had mixed and tried to hit all the spots that needed fixing that he saw. I so wish He would have thought to wiggle a stick in that crack first, tragically he didn't. But now.. for the rest of his years, he will have to deal with me and my comments... referring to him as a mobster who killed an innocent frog.
(as he looks out the window)- " Looking for another frog to bump off?"
(as he soaks in the hot tub)- " You know, I heard he had a wife and 10 tiny toads to feed"
(just for the hell of it) "any other amphibian vendetta's I should know about?"
(when we step over that cemented crack)- "I saw some butterflies today.. you wanna maybe put the muscle on 'em? or just rub em out?"

It's going to take me a little time before I lay low and let it go! In the meanwhile, I think of this beautiful planting as a memorial to Enrique (that's what I was going to name him) :((

Did U ever?

If you've had enough of hearing about my weird dreams throughout the years.. mouse click yourself Out of here! this one is the weirdest one YET!

COYOTES! TALKING COYOTES! CUNNING ARTICULATE TALKING COYOTES! They come into my yard and I am always doing tons of yard work (which shows you just HOW unrealistic Dreams are, even more so than FReaking Talking coyotes!) So, at first one approaches as if he's a friendly helpful neighbor and he offers to finish up my sweeping or raking or mowing, Or whatever I'm busy with. My dream is SO real, I feel myself sweating from this hard work AND I can smell the soil! (but oddly, Not the coyotes bad breath) So anyway, back to the coyotes... After a few minutes of helping.. all of a sudden!...His FANGS come out (maybe I'm watching too much of the true blood show?) and the Coyotes (now all of a sudden there are MANY) Are chasing me to EAT ME UP! It's so scary! and I wake up in a sweat! (checking for calluses on my hands of course and making sure my nails aren't dirty!)

Like all my crazy dreams.. I need to analyze this one... This is what I think... I recently called to make vet appointments for my pets and when I was asking what they were due for...KITTY the receptionist (YES I know! what a perfect name!) said they were due for their Leptospirosis shot.. which is important because if WILD animals like raccoons (my brain? registered Coyotes!) come in the yard (hence...yard Work) and urinate and my dogs step in it and lick their paws.. they can get sick! (sick= eaten up)
I watched fantastic mr. fox about a two montha ago and the coyote DID speak a bit like My beloved George Clooney AND he appeared partially animated.. so there is that too..
What do u think of all this??

Miss Molly and MR. Grumpy pants McGreggor

cosmo on left... miss molly on right


So the other day, I wake up and go outside with my coffee and I hear my husband reprimanding our sweet little cockapoo Molly. Of course, without hearing the details, I defend little Molly... "Don't yell at her! You're scaring her! What did she do now?" So this is what he says.. "She went into the vegetable garden again and came out carrying a cucumber in her mouth with all the greens attached! She pulled it out by the root!" I ASK YOU BLOG READERS OUT THERE....HOW ADORABLE OF A SIGHT MUST THAT HAVE BEEN?!! I instantly giggled and said "Aww, but HOW cute she must have looked! I wish you would have snapped her picture!!" Which of course upset Mr. Petals (McGreggor) even more!! And reminiscent of the story of the little red hen that I read over and over again to our boys.... He began saying.. SURE..to you it's cute...you didn't rotatild the dirt, buy the vegetables, plant them or water them everyday!! WEll, he got his point across.. I certainly would have been frustrated as well. But OH the sight of little Molly with that bunch of greens and a cuke in her little mouth... running out of there, trying not to get caught! I still get a pang of the 'ooooh how cutes' every time i think of it! So I suggested he build a fence to keep her out after all she is like a baby and doesn't know better! WELL, that didn't go over too big and he suggested that I go build the fence! haha! Uh... I think instead... Let's just go buy the vegetables!

ME

sunday scribblings says...

me me me, write a post about me??!
maybe about me love for me very special family?
you see, they're a very big part of who is me
Or how About me love for varied musicality?
from soulful Ella to me funky black eyed peas
What About me love for dancing around so free?
could be anything from zumba to the tango for me
How About me love for Me sweet little doggies?
Mr. yappy comso and fat-ass miss Molly
Or me heart full of love for all me special buddies?
who describe me as compassionate and kind yet very funny
Maybe write of me passion for peace, humanity and mercy?
I KNOW!.... about Me love to attempt such masterful poetry!

Did U ever?

I was talking to a friend the other day and I brought up the following story which I hadn't thought about in a long time.When I was dating my husband he was SO infatuated with an OLD car my step father owned and mostly kept in the garage. It was a 1950's or 60's something or other with very low mileage and in mint condition. (I should probably know the details to help my story, this pic from google looks a bit like it) Anyway, throughout the years together dating and then married, My husband would often exchange fun banter with him like.. Please if you EVER think of selling 'her' PLEASE please ask me first. I would LOVe to own that Car. He was so complimentary too about HOW wonderful it was that Bob took such good care of it for so many years.. But of course old stepdad declared he would never sell it. After we had our 2nd son, my husband decided (against my protests) to buy a motorcycle. My mom and her (cranky) husband Also thought this was a foolish purchase and told him so. He didn't keep it too long because he too decided he didn't want to risk his safety with such small kids needing him.
Shortly after he sold it we had been at my moms visiting when Her husband told us that he SOLD the mint car! My husband looked at him in shock and said "Bob, why didn't you ask me, you knew how badly I wanted to buy that car."Bob responded coldly with... "well, You bought that motorcycle Pete, you didn't need the car too! So I sold it to my friend Leroy." ( Later we found out Leroy was a new guy at Bobs job that practically Stole the car from him, he sold it so cheap!)
My husband was not only baffled by this but also so so hurt. What was that?? Was it ignorance? Did he think it was his job to punish him for making a bad decision with the motorcycle? Was it spite? He actually said it spitefully like a bratty child would. Bob passed away many years ago and I've often thought if Mr. Petals still had that car, it would have been one way to have a nice memory of bob.., also,Who knows, it may have helped to form a nice bond between them creating some extra happy memories too. Instead, This act of spite or hatred or whatever it was, along with many other bizarre behaviors by him, left us feeling flat and disheartened. Certain things are just baffling and they make you question... where is the love?
(turn up volume)

Who you gonna Call?

(two robins with chocolate covered faces!)

Sunday Scribblings!...
Super hero brings TWO things immediately to this mama's mind!
my first two Boys! When they were small they had a costume draw FILLED with superhero costumes and each day I was never sure WHICH alter ego's name I had to use. Once while out to dinner, we ran into clients and introduced them to our sons and our eldest corrected me and said "that's NOt my name, my name is Bruce Banner!".. (he was feeling like the 'hulk' that day)
I was always at the flea market picking up inexpensive Green or black tights for my SONS! I remember it striking me VerY odd one day and I questioned if this was appropriate for me to be encouraging them to dress up in girls tights while sporting leather armor, masks and plastic weapons! I decided it was perfectly normal and when Ghost busters became their new passion, I even got them the full length ghostbuster jump suits that their New heros wore. They went EVERYWHERE in those beige jumpsuits along with backpack! (this next photo courtesy of google) I was only able to wash them when they got their batman pjs on and went to sleep!!
When my younger son came along the two older guys had already stopped 'dressing up' but that didn't stop all three of my sons from Always being superhero's in this mama's heart!

Music meme time!

trying out a new prompt site called The music meme although.. there is something familiar about it.. hmmmm I am wondering if I participated in it a few years ago and like everything else... I FORGOT.
OKAY.. this week it asks us to name the top 5 songs that make you think of your best friend..
Hmmm.
this is easy if I choose my husband since i've always felt he is my #1 best friend.
It's also easy because Mr. petals IS THE music man! he Knows, loves, eats and breathes it!
He has introduced me to so many great artists and constantly keeps up with new ones.
#1 your my best friend (queen)
This is really OUR song. it means so much to us and was the album he lent me when he was trying to Wooo me!
#2.. our wedding band couldn't play 'you're my best friend' so we chose 'Till there was you" (beatles) as our official dance song at our wedding and after 30 years together, it has also become 'our song'
#3. everybody hurts (rem) We went thru a very sad time with someone we love and this song seemed to come on constantly then and it always moved my husband to tears. I can't hear it without thinking about his heart and his sadness during that time.
#4. ANYThING by Bjork.. because I always remember him saying a day without bjork is like a day without sunshine, and making our teenagers friends laugh! haha Also because he introduced me to her music. But I will choose a specific song.. Hunter because this is the song he heard late at night when he couldn't sleep and he was haunted by her incredible voice.. ran out the next day to buy the cd and was THRILLED to learn she had others before this too!
#5 wounded bird (by Graham Nash) because again he introduced me to this album and I fell in love with it and he used to always sing the line to me..."feel a little smaller and in Stature you will rise"...
can I pick a number 6 too? Lazing on a sunday afternoon!(queen) instead of singing.. 'Fridays I go painting in the louvre'... My best friend ALWAYS sings fridays I go painting with LULUuuu . I've always just loved that and Him!

I have been chosen by Daily Panic over at a day on the orb Edge to receive this award! I was surprised because I haven't been blogging much lately and didn't think the crap UH I mean posts I've been writing were too creative. So THAnKS Panic.. this means a lot!

Now to get on with the rules of this award which will involve a series of truths and one lie or vice versa. (I did my own thing and decided to choose to lie 3 times and tell three truths.) Can u guess? I hope you'll guess.. or this HOUR worth of truth and lies took away from my life that is growing shorter and shorter as i type.

1. When I was a little girl I met Paul Anka who was a big to do back then. We were at my cousins party in Queens and he was there with her brother who was dating Pauls sister. He got up and sang a song called "Dance on little girl" so he picked me up and danced with me! He was so handsome and even though I was only about 4 years old.. I was smitten!

2. I met another celebrity when I was on a date with my husband. We went to the city to see Woman of the year with Rachel welch and Charles Bronson was sitting a few rows from us. He was pretty scary looking but I made sure I walked past him and said Hello Mr. Bronson. He nodded his head and said Hello back.. I'm So lame!

3. While I'm on the topic of celebrities... Before he was on Saturday night live or making movies or famous for AnYthing.. Eddie Murphy who is a long islander like me.. was at my local Ground Round restaurants comedy night and he begged them to give him a chance at stand-up. We were there that night and he BLEW away all the headlining comedians! It felt like only a few months later that he was a household name.

4. I guess I am on a celebrity roll without even planning this that way... Before she had her own talk show and became the woman we all seem to either hate or love... Rosie O'Donnel was getting her haircut by guess who?? NO, not me...MR. PETALS! She used to give us tickets to see her at a local comedy club and she always promised him that when she made it big... HE would be her personal hairstylist... Yeah Right!

5. Long Island has produced many famous people.. to name a few more...Billy Joel, Pat Benetar, The Baldwin Boys and one of My VERY favorites... Jerry Seinfeld! My connection? I've enjoyed Billy in concert, In the 80's people told me I looked just like Pat and one of my friends has been to a party with ALeC Baldwin (who he said is an asshole).. but Jerry... HE is my favorite celebrity of All... and here is what happened..
While at a traffic light in the early 90's out in Montauk... JERRY himself walked in front of my car!! I got SO excited, I beeped my horn and nearly gave the poor guy a heart attack!

6. Well since I do have another celebrity story from my past, I guess I have a theme going here..
Back in the late 70's I was working at a very Posh Salon and one day a limo pulled up and out Popped Cyndi Lauper! She was tiny but BIGGER than life. Before she was on her own she was in a band called the BLUE ANGELS.. There album has been one of my favorites from that day forward. She Was super friendly to everyone and my friend Tina (who was KNOWN for her artistry with crazy color) dyed Cyndi's hair HOT pinK! It wasn't long after that meeting that she became a pop icon! I've adored her forever!

My Nominee are:
1. Bone Not only do I love his writing but he was already nominated by daily panic too, so he can kill two awards with one great post. He is also my fellow Seinfeld lover!
2. Sherrie because she is not only creative and artistic she is one of my bestest blog friends and I adore her!
3. Diana is also a dear blog buddy and she writes creative posts from the heart!
4. Granny Smith: Because she melts my heart, she is brilliant and she also already has the task from Daily!
5. Skittles is awarded because of her creativity, honesty and humor! Another dear friend.
6. Keith because I think he is one of the most creative writers blogging or in print!! and he is the sweetest man I know!
7. Last but Not at all least... Tamara! Queen of humor, Queen of honesty and Queen of my Scrabble life and a Queen who is so creative and SO worthy! I love all these bloggers!
The rules for this award are:

- thank the person who gave you the award
- copy the logo and place it on your blog
- link to the person who nominated you
- tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself and at least one outrageous truth, or vice-versa
- nominate seven "creative" writers
- post links to the blogs you nominated


You may comment to say what you think my 3 truths are and I'll post the answers in a week.. (IF anyone responds!) haha Thanks!

Lucy WHO?

This week Sunday Scribblings asked us "what's your take on MESS?"
I would probably have answered this with a different answer a different day, but today.. I can't help answer that my memory is my take on a TOTAL mess! All of my menopausal friends joke about how deficient theirs are as well. They all try to make me feel normal when I can't find the missing word in a sentence or recall something they've already told me. However, yesterday really took the cake or in my case the PB&J. As I was making myself a peanut butter and raspberry preserves sandwich I really realized WHY the expression "a LIGHT bulb went off" when referring to memorizing something, is SO on the money! I stood like a deer in headlights and realized that for the last school year EVERY nite before bed, I Make up my pot of coffee for the morning and make my son a sandwich for school, and Like that bright light, It illuminated to me that I had FORGOTTEN to make his sandwich for at LEAST the last week!! Isn't that bizarre!? How could I have forgotten this? What is REALLy bizarre as well.. is that he never said ANYTHING to me! Not a reminder, nor a question as to why I stopped! I texted him and apologized and asked him WhAT he has been doing for lunch?? He said..'nothing, that's why I've been coming home so hungry'. HEllOoo??? who is wackier here???

If this memory dilemma isn't proof enough of my messy brain, Also yesterday I was giving directions to my home to out of town company who were staying only 5 minutes away and I BLANKED, I mean really blanked out on which way they should turn to come here!! I give these directions ALL the time to new clients! How can I forget? Good thing Mr. Petals was in the room and with a worried expression, he filled in my spaces. I've also been forgetting things I've confided in people, Forgetting birthdays, graduations, anniversaries (I used to be so great with dates) AND forgetting Clients names or mixing up the names. I had an Ellen and Evelyn at the same time, women I've known FOrEVer and EVERY time, EVERY single time I used their name, I said the others name!! At one point I really felt embarrassed by it!

I have had a lot on my mind lately, but is that really an excuse for this mess?
Between the recent migraines and this messy memory loss I am truly feeling worried and that worry fills my head and that takes up even more memory room which must be making my problem even worse!

Today I was talking to my friend about How a few years back i saw an older woman walking in my neighborhood and she kept turning around and then going the other direction and I could see she was VERY confused. I pulled my car over to her and said "are u okay? Do u need some help?" She was so sweet and looked embarrassed and said.. "I always walk up to the bakery and I was sure it was on this street but I can't find it." She was about two long blocks from the bakery so I offered to take her there, helped her up into my car and gave her a ride. After dropping her, I was worried that she wouldn't find her way back home. My friend then told me that almost the SAME thing happened to her a few years ago too, Only her poor passenger was looking for her own home in the pouring rain and had NO idea of the address or where to go. So my friend asked her to search her pockets and see if she had something with her address on it and the woman reached inside her rain drenched coat and pulled out a travel soap dish with a bar of soap in it!!
(HOLY Shit! Someone better start sewing address labels inside of all of my clothing!!)
My bewildered friend ended up calling the police station who had been alerted of a missing person from this poor souls family. Maybe she stepped outside to take a shower? Life... it's sometimes a sad, strange mess.

you're a good man charlie brown

hahahaha I am still laughing, but this is probably one of those funny things that you had to have been there. After a long day running around town with me, I happen to notice that mr. Petals had a huge BROWN stain right on the back of his black shorts! So laughingly I say ..OH MY GOD.. Did u POOP your pants?? So he pulls his shorts down (we were in our private backyard) and realizes that he must have sat in bleach while cleaning up the yard. He can't believe that he's been out like this all day, because it really looks like... well you know what! haha SO, being Mr. frugal he says.. 'Oh well, I guess these are work shorts now... I really should Mark them so I don't accidently wear them anywhere' So I SAy... (are u ready?) 'Uhhh.. I THINK you already MARKED them. It's called a SKID mark. We cracked up for a long time! :)) but, I have a way of KILLING a joke.. so he will be hearing ALOT of skid mark/poop/ jokes till it's just not funny anymore! :))

serenity now

The Sunday Scribblings theme this week is Mantra.I don't really have a mantra I live by or chant over and over. I guess If I had a mantra it would be "STaY positive". Especially as I've grown older, I've seen that staying positive can really get you through many situations. Sometimes it can be the most difficult thing to do. When life is handing you some awful stuff... keeping positive can seem ridiculously impossible.
Another thing I do a LOT lately, When a situation is bad and I don't think I can cope.. I pretend that THIS problem is the smaller one of TWo that I COULD have had. I think of a much worse scenario and think.. Geez SO lucky it is this difficult situation OVEr that one! I know I sound nuts, but it helps me better than a mantra probably could.
Not sure if it's a mantra or not but one phrase that I do repeat often to my middle son is .. "I'm Right behind you!" This middle one worries me and when he was younger and would head out for a night out I would Constantly remind him to BE SMART and BE GOOD and REMEMBER... If you are wondering if something is smart or right to do or not.. think...'would I do this if MOM were standing right behind me??' If not... PROBABly not a good idea! haha As the years went by.. this LOoong warning became.. "I'm right behind you Nick!" It's become as much an affectionate term as I love you Nick. He knows what I mean and that I just want him to be safe and careful out in the world. BE CAREFUL is another phrase (WAIT! maybe THIS really is my mantra after all?!?) that I say to EACH of my kids as they leave the house. Wow..writing this post just made me realize I LIVE by 'be careful'. I am SO careful with EVerything I do.CAUTiON is my middle name for goodness sakes! Okay. I DO have a mantra.. be careful be careful be careful... oooh I feel so comforted by this. be careful be careful be careful... ohhmmm

Educating it forward

..for my friend Tammy.
this is the exact poignant message she posted on her blog.. I am educating it forward, hope you will too.

The dragon

lying in wait

would not go down

easily in the dark

but he was struck first

and weakened

surprised at the

fierceness of their hearts

as he was slain

in the darkness

of his lair. Later

gutted and skinned

his flesh cut into pieces

and shared. Now the fire

is in us: we are the dragon, the dragon's

strength is ours; we will live, free of dependence.

No more pain,and falls and wheelchairs for

we are made whole in our feast.

15 cases of ALS are diagnosed a day and most live 2-4 years. No time to fight and voices too weak to be heard. Do you know ALS? Educate it forward to be their voices.

Compassionate, Considerate FUN!

I'm seething... AGAIN. today I listened and welled up with tears and anger as yet AnOTHER incredibly wonderful woman sat and cried in my hair salon and told me how unhappy she is in her marriage. This 70 something year old woman is being verbally abused and taken for granted BIG TiME! Her husband sounds like a nasty, miserable bastard. He is ill and SHE takes care of HIM. Without divulging too much of her personal business, she does EVERYTHING for him. He is wheelchair bound and needs care in EVERY department. ( I'm divulging aren't I?)

This ungrateful louse should be kissing her ASS! (not calling her FATASS) I swear I can't even take how upset and angry I feel! He screams at her all day long, puts WAY too much pressure and stress on her, insults her, tells her he doesn't want friends dropping over. He listens on her phone calls or worse asks her for blow by blow details after she is done talking on the phone. I feel like she is in a place worse than prison. I'm also worried that SHE will drop dead before him from all this stress! Through our tears and hugs I had to confess to her, that even though I want her to feel she can always confide and unload on me, I have a deep DEEP hatred for this F*** and would like to go chop his cojones off! (At least this got her to have a hardy laugh) But I am serious, I want to kill this bastard. I tried to give her the best advice I could. (after all I'm only a hot blooded sicilian hairdresser) I told her to please see a therapist for her OWN health and sanity, I even recommended my friend who wrote that inspiring book on my side bar. I advised her also to constantly SPeAK up and STAND up to this piece of crap husband and PUT him in his place! (after all, it's not like she can't out run him if he gets super crazed). I finally suggested she push him down the stairs in his wheelchair, but she didn't think that would work since she lives in a ranch. She won't leave him, because NO one else would care for him and she loves her family and doesn't want to rock the boat. Paaa L E A S E! I hear this one a LOT! And I am so bothered by this too! We only Go around ONCE! WHY is she going around for everyone else's feelings and not hers?? I will tell u why... I see this a lot too! Many Women DO NOT value who they are! NO ONE sees their beauty and worth and wonderfulness. I see women each day with astounding qualities and it breaks my heart to hear how inferior they seem to think they are.
My friend just told me about a super book for women in the 2nd half of life called queen of your own life
I plan on picking up a copy and putting it in my waiting area. We women need to help each other value ourselves. Oh I am all pumped up and fuming and talking all big here aren't I?? but I am JUST as guilty for not TRULY valuing my own worth and gifts. My husband is constantly giving me genuine compliments, attempting to help build my self-esteem. After 30 years of this, I am doing much better than when we had first met.

Yesterday as we did our cool down in my zumba class the teacher got all Zen like on us and asked us to think of a quality we loved about ourselves and focus on that all day.
It was the first time she has done that and I am looking forward to having a chance to speak to her to tell her how much I loved that idea. I want to share with her how important I feel it is that women like us, who work predominantly with women, help them to value themselves. (We should also have access to the number of a good hit man)

If you've read this rant and ARE a woman yourself... PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT TELLING ME A FAVORITE QUALITY YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF. Hell, tell me even more than that if u want... tell me ALL about how wonderful YOU are! I put mine in the title!

Is there something in the air?

Everyone in my family, all my clients and friends... EVERYONE I speak to is basically saying the same thing.
I feel so tired. I feel like shit. I feel so sluggish. I need a nap. I don't want to do anything.

I kept thinking it's these rainy days or the pollen in the air making me feel so lethargic.
But today when my client Bev told me that EVERYONE in her office and in her life was feeling the same and that she is worried the terrorists put something into our atmosphere, I began to wonder.
Is that possible?? Is ALL of america feeling like crap?? What could be causing this? It doesn't take much of a paranoid suggestion to get me worrying! So how are YOU feeling?? If someone out there, especially in NY, actually feels UP and energetic and ...conscious! Can u please let me know, so I won't be up all night worrying! I'm off to check the batteries on my carbon monoxide detector.

My Favorite Recipes

Recipe for Love

Ingredients

2 Hearts Full of Love
2 Heaping Cups of Kindness
2 Armfuls of Gentleness
2 Cups of Friendship
2 Cups of Joy
2 Big Hearts Full of Forgiveness
1 Lifetime of Togetherness
2 Minds Full of Tenderness

Method

Stir daily with Happiness, Humor and Patience.
Serve with Warmth and Compassion, Respect and Loyalty.

~ Author Unknown ~

Another Recipe for Love

Ingredients

1/2 a cup of Affection
A pinch of cuddles
3 tablespoons of pure sweetness
A great big kiss

Method

Dim the lights then mix them very slowly together.

~ Author Unknown ~

visit sunday scribblings for more on recipes!

skittlie dee skittlie da

Today as I was grocery shopping in Stop and shop, I get a call from my youngest son.
He is on the school bus on his way home from school. He very excitedly says... MOM? I Just won 10,000.00!!!! Being that he is the youngest of three, You will believe me when i tell you, I've had my share of pranks pulled on me. I calmly said.. Oh really! And how did u do that? He starts rapidly explaining that his teacher was selling skittles to raise money for a charity so he bought a bag. On the bag it said... Find the Gold skittles and win $10,000. He screams in my ear.. I have the gold skittles Mom! my whole bag is full of gold skittles!! I won! I can't believe it!!... STILL suspecting this can't be... I ask... Are u just joking with me? He's never been a good liar and he is so serious that I should have known he wasn't fooling! So now, I begin screaming and Crying in the middle of stop and shop! "OMG OMG it couldn't have happened to a more deserving person! This is going to help you pay for college! I'm so excited!!" Then I quickly get into Mommy mode... JO! DON'T LET ANYONE ON THE BUS KNOW THAT YOU'VE WON THIS MUCH MONEY, THERE ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE ESPECIALLY ANY DRUGGIES WHO WOULD HURT OR KILL YOU FOR THOSE GOLDEN SKITTLES!! (Aren't you just picturing Charlie Bucket right now from Willie wonka and the chocolate factory?)
I tell him to get home safely and don't do anything till I get there!
I flew through the rest of the aisles Not remembering the food I had come there for due to my excitement! As I am loading my groceries into my car, he calls me again..
ARe u okay? I ask... VERY quietly he says... Mom... When i got home, I dumped out the skittles and opened up the bag... I only won $50.00.... The fine print of the label said Find the gold skittles AND YOU COULD win $10,000.00. Boy did that misunderstanding take away what would have been an exciting 50.00 win if that's what he told me originally! Mean while.. Crazy me... I had called my other sons and told them, I interrupted my busy husband at work to tell him. EVeryone was so shocked and excited they told many others too!!! How sad to have to make those calls to say... It was a tasty misunderstanding.

Moms and their kitchens

Happy cinco de Mayo everyone! In case I don't get back to blogging before sunday... just wishing All you Mommas and VERY happy Mothers Day! Here's a post only a mom can appreciate!
I'm sure many would agree that the kitchen seems to be the nerve center of the home. It's the room we congregate in whether we are eating, playing board games, doing homework, celebrating birthdays, painting pictures,having heart to hearts, writing bills, and oh yea.... cooking.
My children have had more meaningful, heart-wrenching conversations with me in the kitchen while I'm emptying the dishwasher... than anywhere else. My kitchen has also had it's fair share of things being flung. What do plates, pork roasts, Clogs and pastina all have in common? Yep, they are just some of the items that have hit the walls of my cute kitchen. When my middle son was younger he couldn't swallow pills. His asthma was very bad and the doctor prescribed steroids. Little pills that HAD to be swallowed. After many hours spent trying to put them in applesauce and pudding and even pizza. Crazy momma got very frustrated and as embarrassing as it is to admit. I whipped off my clog and flung it at him! ( No, Not child abuse.... Last second I came to my senses and aimed high and have the hole in the wall to prove it) It didn't help the situation, he still didn't take those damn pills, but it made me feel better.

When my oldest was a baby in the high chair, he decided it would be fun to take his full bowl of pastina and throw it in the air. I had pastina dripping off the walls the furniture and the chandelier! ( Do you know how that shit sticks to everything?) I'm sure you moms know what I mean when I say it was the last straw that day. It was one of those times where daddy had to intervene. Momma couldn't take it that day, and had to leave the room in tears while one wonderful dad cleaned baby and house top to bottom. (gee, I didn't think talking about my favorite room would make me loook like a lunatic) To hear of my misconstrued lunacy though you must read further about the infamous pork roast story.....

When I was pregnant for our third son, I was nauseous almost the whole nine months. Looking at food and cooking it was a nightmare. One day I left it up to my husband, who decided to buy and cook a pork roast. For the two hours that thing was cooking I was complaining relentlessly. He finally LOST it and opened the oven and threw it in the garbage. I got so angry at him and we had an argument, which included me flinging a few plates off the table and into our walls . Well, my 5 year old was unfortunately a witness to this whole terrible, but thank god extremely rare fighting. The following school year, the teacher was talking about how everyone fights and all the kids were telling stories. My little boy gets up in front of the class and interprets the pork roast story with his fast moving body and speedy words like this......" One day my mom was so mad at my dad that she picked up a chicken and threw it at his head"! the class couldn't control their laughter. My girlfriend called me hysterically laughing because her 6 yr. old who was in the same class got off the bus and told her this story. Again, everyone thinks I'm a looney. I didn't throw meat at his head! But the visual of Nick telling this chicken story is worth the bad rap.
photos of some of my favorite things in my kitchen #1 a hutch that my husband refinished #2 a madallion he painted #3 my duck house and #4 a picture my third son drew in the 3rd grade

event exposé

How we perceive things really matters. Some people dodge disaster and breathe a sigh of relief and move on with a positive happy attitude never giving it another thought. Maybe they live their life actually thinking of this scenario and declaring how lucky they were. The same near-miss event can put someone else into a life long tail spin, thinking doom and gloom will always try to get them. (I bet you've figured out, I'm that second someone.)
Just recently I figured out why I am the cautious, nervous nellie that I am. It was MY dodged disaster. An event that traumatized a once very reckless little kid, into a guarded eleven year old girl who would continue that vigilance throughout her life.

It was a breezy April day in 1970. I was out riding my bright orange, sting ray bicycle, which had a bold flowered vinyl, banana seat. I was suppose to be home for dinner but with the wind in my hair, I didn't have a care, I boldly jumped curbs and raced carelessly through the side streets of my safe, suburban neighborhood. As I was heading towards the playground at the closed public pool, a man sitting parked in a big blue car beeped his horn and waved me towards him. Still on my bicycle, I used my feet to glide myself towards his passenger window. He started asking me for directions to a street. I tried to tell him where the street was when i noticed.... he was ONLY wearing a T-shirt! I quickly made excuses that I had to go, that my mother was waiting right on the other side of the playground for me. He gestured and asked me a question and I Screamed NO!! I pedaled back home so quickly, I didn't remember how I had gotten there. Traumatized and extremely shaken, I reacted by getting under my covers and just shivering. I didn't go to my mom, i didn't talk about it. I just couldn't stop shaking. I don't know how long I stayed that way, but my sister came in my room and became so worried when she saw me. She screamed for my mom, and after a little time... I was able to tell them what had happened. They were, of course, so upset and yet relieved that I wasn't abducted or hurt in any way.

My mom then insisted that I go with her to the police station and give a description of this deviant. That was almost as traumatic as the event itself. Apparently (according to the officer) many little girls make up stories for various reasons, so back in 1970.. they found the hostile approach in speaking to terrified little kids most appropriate and effective! It was awful! The shaking continued! I did give a very accurate description of the man. (the mans face that is!) But I don't know if they ever found him. With so many tragedies in our world concerning kids, I know I was that LUCKY someone! But that one event, That one day, really changed who I am. I am always on my toes, playing it safe, never taking foolish risks. Through the years I don't think I've ever connected the dots about WHY I am who I am. I haven't told many people about this incident. Something that happened last week (TOO long to get in to it!) made me realize the connection. Even though this happened 40 years ago... I still find it so difficult to talk about without getting those same chills. As I huddle under my throw blanket to put this into writing on this hot, humid April day, I am having a feeling of freedom that my trauma like my cautiousness is outright....exposed.
sunday scribblings

Dinner!

The sunday scribblings girls chose the prompt dinner in honor of the movie Julia & Julie. I Loved that movie girls! One of my favorite lines was when Julie asked her best friend if she (julie) was a bitch, and living up to her title of BEST friend, she replied..."Yes, But Everyone is!".. Isn't that the truth? Even Moi! I must admit, most often I am pretty even tempered but there are those scattered times when This little, evil bitch devil just perks up her pointy ears and tail and points her pitchfork at whomever is Pissing me off enough to summon this doppelganger to appear! Getting back to dinner.... I took my son to burger King last month. Even tempered Lucy that is.
When we walked in, there were only two customers in the whole place. They were at the counter ordering. We stood (a good distance away) waiting for our turn. All of a sudden three people burst disruptively through the door, loudly arguing in their native language and exchanging burger king coupons. Finally the two women took a table and the man stood on line behind even tempered Lucy. Behind?? NO, not just behind me... AlMOST touching me, breathing on my neck, right up against me...behind me... The place was EMPTY. ROOM wasn't a hindrance!
I waited for a second or two, then turned and said (I admit a bit abruptly) excuse me, you need to back off a bit. He just looked at me and then smiled real big as if I had just said "hi nice to meet u sir".. You're assuming he didn't speak english, correct?? ... REad ...on....
Before I could even think rationally... EVIL Bitch Lucy appeared, ears pointier than ever before!
And with an attitude That would have shaken Mike Tyson She said... HEY! YOU NEEEED TO BACK OFF! BACK OFF! Well the smiling man began SCREAMING at me in broken english! 'You not a nice laaadddeee!!!! YOU YELL AT ME??? YOU DON'T YELL AT ME!!! (He went on and on, I can't even remember what ridiculousness was coming from his mouth)
My son began laughing but I willed my bitchy side to stifle herself and moved her and my son away from someone who I thought seemed FAR crazier than I had felt. I may be a bitch SOME times, but i consider myself cautious and perceptive MOST times! We got his dinner and got the hell OUT of there!
Gee... I just wrote a bitch post instead of the 'dinner' post I had intended to write. I wanted to simply say... lately I ALWAYS say... "DINNER IS OVER RATED!" And I planned on going on and on about HOw difficult it's become to PLAn and execute these tedious dinners that seem so important to be creative, when I'd be happy enough(if I lived alone) with a simple soup or sandwich or a yogurt or bowl of cereal. Yet each night.. I feel it's my obligation to set upon the table a healthy, varied feast each day of the week! I know I do this to myself.. NO one is saying We need to eat these overrated dinners! Oh well, I've been so easily distracted lately...
Getting back to the burger king incident... My family has NOT let me live this down... EACH time we see an asian man, one of the wise men I live with says... Hey mom... Why don't you go beat him Up?? boys can be bitches too!

4 years?? AND counting!

It occurred to me that April 20th will be my FOUR year blogging anniversary! I guess it makes sense then, that I am doing this less and less frequently, right? Although, so many of my favorite blogs haven't lost their enthusiasm. It's not even that I've lost it as much as I feel I don't have much to write about. But then I got to thinking that I have SO much going on and I used to find it fulfilling to just write about what's going on! so here I go.. A condensed post (Although I've never been so good at shortening things) As to what's been going on around here that keeps me so busy and makes me find NO time to blog...
1. ALL the college work! That went on For so long... helping my youngest son with research and applications. The paper work seemed endless.. and Eureeka! He has chosen his university. We've been busy now with tour dates/ then a preview weekend/ and soon he will have a 3 day orientation.
Not to mention all the shopping for dorm items that will be coming up as well. So we've got this huge thing going on..

2. Teaching this same son to drive! holy smokes! I don't have to tell the parents out there how traumatic and torturous and nerve wracking this can be! As I wrote in last post.. he passed! NOW my worries really begin! (this seems a good spot to insert a photo of us!Since I haven't posted pics in forever!)


3. Zumba. I have decided I really want to stop wishing for things I desire.. and instead GO FOR THEM! I was certified to teach zumba (which is a FUN dance/exersice program, incorporating 70% international music) back in September but never put it into action. Well.. recently when a friend of mind asked me if I am living my life as fully as I would like to be.... I realized... I WANT and NEED to do this! So I've been spending A LOT of my free time Practicing and Choreographing Dance routines (instead of blogging). I also signed up for the second step zumba work shop which will teach more about flamingo and belly dance and the business end of things.. I attend this all day work shop this sunday! looking so forward to it! I've set myself a goal as to WHEN I will be ready to look for work doing this.. September. When My youngest begins his journey into college life...On my nights or mornings off, I will be shaking my bootie, having a ball and I hope giving others a fun work out too! I realize I've given myself a LONG time to achieve this goal..but hey! I'm getting old! I give myself extra credit for even attempting this!
(turn up your volume baby! My first 3 songs are ZuMbA songs that I lOVe!)

4. Attending my eldest son's performance at the Whitney Museum in Manhattan! This was SUCH an exciting, tremendous evening! I can't believe i haven't blogged about it. Ari Marcopoulos, a photographer/film artist originally from Amsterdam, who has worked with Andy Warhol, asked my sons band, yellow tears, to perform at his art exhibit at the Whitney! Their band is in to power electronics and it was really was performance art! I was so excited to be there and I actually, FINALLY, really "GOT" what their sound was all about. So many of my sons friends came out to support him and they all said to me...'you know this is HUGE, right??" they were so adorable.. I DO know that this was a huge opportunity and experience! (here is a photo of the band with Ari (my son on right) and Of course ME with Ari too! haha
I can't place these pics correctly!!)

5. LIFE... Isn't it so hectic? Between working 4 long days a week, trying to keep a clean house, laundry up to date, food shopping as well as shopping for my business. Scheduling and keeping various appointments, The days just fly and time does too! I haven't even mentioned the birthdays, holidays,get togethers, family obligations! So there you have it! YOU have it? WhO? I don't think I have many readers left! I noticed that after my last post.. But,I am so grateful for my few blog friends who faithfully still check if I'm alive and if i've updated! Thank you! I am taking my friend Sherries advice... I am blogging For ME. If no one is out there, it's okay. I'm satisfied that after nearly 4 years, I'm continuing this enjoyable hobby!

nervous nellie strikes again

Why is it so difficult for me to let my youngest son grow up? Most people say to me.. I'm so surprised you are so protective.. usually by child #3, parents allow anything to go on. For me, it seems the youngest is like raising the oldest again! Maybe because there's a large age gap between my boys?? I don't know what is causing me to be such a worrier but I just am! 9 days ago, this young one... got his drivers license! Not only did he pass, but he got Zero points taken off. Meaning NO mistakes made on the test! WOW, impressive, no?? Well, here it is NINE days later... and I am JUST now... letting him take the car by himself!! He is SUCH a good kid that he didn't try arguing with me.. although he did sweetly tell me when I picked him up from work at 11 pm... Gee, Mom.. this is SO inconvenient for you, you look so tired... I really cAN do this!! (he is such a nice boy) Well here we are... I let him drive himself to practice at the high school... I need an imodium to be able to leave and head off to book club... I am SO nervous for him! He just called to say he arrived there ALIVE!! ( good boy but a wise ass like the rest of my guys)..
He knows to call his dad before leaving the parking lot later, to let him know he is on his way back.. I will be a wreck until I get the call that he is in the house safe and sound..
Whew.... raising kids is a killer on the gray hair and the IBS.

Did u EVer??

Lately, Mr. Petals seems incapable of articulating his thoughts as well as he used to. But of course, he is in denial of this.. They say we women go through MENTALpause when we're going through menopause.. but seriously.. they need to find a name for it for men. Maybe it's not all men, but apparently (according to my mother in law).. It is definitely something that runs through the MEN in my father in laws family! Here's the most recent example of what I'm trying to explain. Tonight we are talking about Where a church from his old neighborhood was located.. so he explains it to me by mentioning what park it's near and I understand where it is but he adds... Yeah, so it is between that park and woods elementary school. And we did them all. Okay... there is the example.. And we did them all. Who's WE and What Did they do?? Do u Want to know The best about this latest problem of his?? HE gets impatient with ME... when I don't GEt that kind of abstract, senseless sentence!! (that's the inherited part!!).. So with a look of puzzlement, I innocently say... (well not so innocent, maybe a tiny bit snarky..) "We did them all"? and he snaps, as if how can I NOT understand that perfectly formed sentence...
Yeah.. Me and my friends!.. We hung out at All Three of those spots, the park, the school and the church parking lot! so I (snarkily) said... HOW the hell am I suppose to know what you were referring to!! So he says.. welll What else could I have meant!! (THIS I love!! NOW not only should I listen and comprehend.. it is up to me to decode everything or get a snippy attitude!!) So I reply...
You could have meant that You Cut the grass at all those locations! YOu could have meant YOU Built them all! Maybe you meant that You and I visited them all! ARe u kidding me??
Then he gets fed up and says... Just forget about it!!
Is it me?? Would u have known what WE DID Them ALL meant? We weren't talking about hanging out! we weren't talking about his childhood friends. Someone had mentioned a churches name to me and I thought I knew All the churches where he grew up, so I just questioned if he knew where that one was located... GEEZ!!! I have a feeling I will be giving you more examples pretty soon...

knock three times

If you've read my blog for a while, you're probably aware that I was having these STRANGE dreams. I called them my 'baby dreams'. I am always forgetting about taking care of a baby child or even a baby dog. I received SO many thoughtful, detailed comments trying to help me decipher these crazy dreams... well, last nights dream has these BEAT! Literally! I am almost embarrassed to share my bizarre, horrible dream! Does it indicate that deep down , I am a dark psycho killer??
or should I call myself a cockapoo killler??? I don't think even Dr. Phil could help me Decipher this one! My sweet beautiful cockapoo Molly (who I adore! I swear to you, I adore her!!) was in a Huge pot of soup and I was... well ...trying to kill her in there! ALL of a sudden it dawned on me, that this may be TOO painful of a way to die (boiling??!!) SO I take my favorite soup ladle and start Beating her on the top of the head with it!
OMG!! I am hysterical laughing even thinking about it again! It's so funny, but It's also SO WACKY. I was so upset by it, that I awoke( before she was totally dead,) in a frightened state!!
I stumbled out of bed and told my dream quickly to mr. petals. His eyes bugged out and he laughed and said.. YOU are CRAZY! My kids are still laughing and every time Molly gets under my feet today they yell... hey Mom... Hit her with your ladle! Which made me realize, that may be the association between her and the pot of soup... she is ALWAYS right under my feet when I try to cook, waiting for the clumsy chef to drop a carrot shaving or a piece of chicken, but seriously what is up with trying to knock her repeatedly over the head with a ladle??

Did u ever?

Who knew I was feeling so hurt? It has been years since I dwelled on our lost friendship, Although fond memories of it do pop into my head at times. We started out just being two moms who had kids who loved to play together. With each play date, our friendship grew closer and closer. Soon the play dates with our two kids graduated into blended family functions, holidays and fun outings. I felt closer to you than to my own sister. As our kids grew they branched out and made more friends in their own schools, acquired different interests, desired to see each other less and less. I can't believe that that fact alone would sabotage the 'sister' hood that we had formed.

Apparently, it must have been me.. must have been something else that made it easy for you to stop treasuring a friendship that I thought we were so lucky to have found. I remember calling you weekly to chat and chat we did! but it soon dawned on me that you were never calling me anymore. So, I called less often. I'm proud of the fact that I'm pretty perceptive...I knew a 'brush off' when I felt one. I vowed to myself that I would stop calling and just see how long it would take for you to call me. The call never came. I'm not sure on the time frame.. but I am going to guess that about EIGHT years went by! I don't remember what sparked the impulse.. but I decided to call you one day.. We caught up on life, the kids, work. You sounded so truly happy to hear from me, promising to keep in touch. I am going to guess that conversation was about..... hmmm? I am thinking 2004?? Six years ago? I remember telling my husband that If you weren't being sincere, You deserved an academy award for your genuine enthusiasm and warmth!

I didn't feel as bad this time around when I never heard back from you, that is why I am so Surprised (and perturbed) at myself for feeling THIS wounded this week, when i got your request to be my friend on Facebook. I stared at your message and your image wondering if I should accept or ignore. I saw pictures of your beautiful children, who I had loved, all grown up.
I decided to sleep on it. I have to say, maybe I am being petty or overly sensitive, but I have decided to ignore this request. To me... your friend request is about 15 years late. You had a great friend, maybe you needed time to go by to realize how important that is, maybe you still haven't realized it. These 'friend' requests on Face book are commonly trivial and meaningless. After all this time... truly "friending' me, means picking up the phone or showing up at my door. Friending me on facebook... Feels SO hurtful and Confirms the fact that to you, I was merely the mother of your son's friend.

hot tootsies pedicure

On Valentines Day my husband gave me a gift certificate for a fancy pedicure which they call 'The Anti-stress" pedicure! oooh la la!
Today I finally found the time to go enjoy it.. After I sat down and started up the back massager on the comfy chair, the girl took off my polish asked me to soak and then got up to put some green goop in the microwave. I opened up my novel and got ready to read and to relax and to DE-stress for the hour long procedure. Ahhhh, can't you just feel the tranquility?
All of a sudden, I SCREAmED! She applied this molten hot green lava to my right shin and I just about flung it in her face! As I screamed, I instinctively reached down and swatted it right off my shin and onto her apron! I then started splashing the tub water onto my scorched skin! Of course the poor girl felt so terrible and keep apologizing and of course I kept saying, it's okay, don't worry, it's okay... But BOY did that kill the ANTI part of the anti stress pedi! Afterward, I felt a bit tense with each sharp instrument she picked up and each spray of the hose that she gave me. When she went BAck in the micro to get the HOT towel, I swear sweat formed on my upper lip! Thankfully, she waved it around a bit before hugging it over my legs and feet! Over all, it was a wonderful pedicure and a beautiful gift, they may just want to give it a new name, my title would be my suggestion.

Baloney fluency

For the Sunday scribblings prompt... fluent. I want to repeat an older story about HOW fluent I've become in the art of bull shit.
Usually, In my profession, no matter how you are feeling or what is going wrong in your life.. If you want to keep your clients coming back, you need to put on a happy face and listen to and respond to all the bullshit that some people need to talk about, with MORE bullshit. Although your head may be pounding or your heart aching or your nerves shattered, you need to make their visit all about THEM. Lucky for me that of late, I am not faced with this dilemma TOO often. Most of my clients are well liked and friends as well, and the conversations are really enjoyable, very honest and sincere . A normal exchange of interesting topics, as well as Me sharing my life with them and No bullshit what so ever!

Oh, But though those days, when I am faced with my most challenging clients.... the B.S., like green mold, just keeps spreading. Today (while covered in mold) I thought... It's peculiar, but they never touched on the art of bullshit back in beauty school. They did warn- "never talk politics or religion with your clients!" (they may have warned about sex talk too, but that's the best topic in my place) Yet, the art of bullshit! Which I think is AS essential for any successful hairstylist to know as good haircutting, needs to be self-taught. I've become QuiTe fluent in this art after all my years of experience. What you need is a harmonious blend of courtesy, combined with common-sense, combined with a Big-Phony-Baloney-sense (and a strong stomach too). If I were to establish and teach B.S. 101, it would include daring challenges like .. how to handle self-absorbed, narcissistic,loquacious, rude people, who will expect you to listen to endless chatter about How difficult it is to get ready for their much needed upcoming trip to the bahamas. I would also hand out garlic to chew and place my students in mock situations, demonstrating how a client may ramble on with pointless bullshit for 45 minutes (With foul breath) about their son in laws relatives being horrible with blow by blow accounts of EVeRy situation with these horrible people. People you've never met, never hope to meet and could really give a shit about! The student hairdresser would be required to stand there on their tired legs, looking interested, convincingly shaking their head in disbelief or whatever gesture is appropriate and interjecting B.S. expressions like "OH No!" and 'That's terrible of them". Thereby mastering the performance of an attentive, caring listener who can also implement the art of an excellent haircut, all while feeling totally irritated, trapped and nauseated by the odor with a longing to sit down and a desire to give their clients tongue a good trim as well. That's what I would call a B.S. Pro! give that student an A+!

breakfast in america

If you're like me one of the things you love about your favorite lunch or dinner haunts, is that Fattening, delicious basket of bread they put on the table when you arrive! My favorite Italian place not only puts ROLLS on the table (and around my waist) But UNBELIEVABLY delicious Focaccia bread with Pizza sauce on it! I swear, I could make THAT my meal. After a few chunks of this warm cheesy,saucy, yummy bread... who needs to order?! (but I always do!)
The other Morning Mr. Petals needed to fast and go get some routine blood drawn, I offered to go with him for support. He asked "How about some pancakes at the diner afterward?" MMMMM I love breakfast out! but we rarely get the opportunity to enjoy that. So we both skipped breakfast at home, although, unlike him, thankfully, I DID get in 3 cups of coffee. By the time we got done at the lab.. I Was STARVING with visions of fluffy pancakes dancing in my head, It Dawned on me! WHY don't we get a yummy basket on the table at breakfast time too?? Wouldn't it be nice, if you sat down at the diner and while you were waiting for that griddle to do it's thing.. They had a nice basket of mini muffins or whole wheat toast at the table? ooooh... OR..what about a basket of Hash browns!! Mr. Petals liked the idea of a platter of bacon!
(how hungry is this post making u?) I ordered angel food pancakes with fresh strawberries on them and they were scrumptious and I WAS Extremely full afterwards even with out the muffin basket but I still LoVE that idea! what do u think? what would be in your ideal complimentary breakfast basket?

Moms will be Moms

In my last post I wrote about my middle son having surgery. Well.. tomorrow it's time for the eldest one to stress out his poor old mom. He is going in for knee surgery. Ooooh wait... Olympics has the ice skating on! My fav! brb...
Wow! that was gorgeous!
anyway... Do Moms Ever catch a break? My mom will be 81 this year. Thank-god she is doing very well, but BOY can she worry! When she worries, she has a way of bringing out the ABsoLUTE worst in me! and BOY does that make me feel so guilty! Do moms EVEr NOT feel guilty? Guilty when we are too tough! Guilty when we are too nurturing! Guilty we didn't do enough! Guilty we did so much we were enabling! Sheeeeesh ! its the toughest job in the world!
Back to MY mom... She will leave these RIDICULOUS worry-filled messages on my machine, when she knows something is going on over here.. (actually even when NOTHING is going on and she is just imagining that I may be having a rough time, because it seems like a long time since she's heard from me!! (a few days)
And if I dont' get back to her in what she considers a reasonable amount of time...The NEXT message (ONE hour later) is down right nasty and sarcastic! "LU.. IS something going wrong and you just don't want to tell me??!!! I don't like this!!! I am WORRIED!! I know you're busy.. but My god, you can't be THAT bust that you can't JUST call you mother and let me know everyone is okay!!! IT's not fair that I should worry like this!! CALL ME!!"
Of course when you are stressed out with kids with surgery or the other millions of things that stress you out or you're just having a ridiculously busy work day... the LAST thing you have time for is to stop and Call a crazy woman! Recently, she left THREE crazy messages before I had the time to pick up the phone.. Of course when I did....OOOOOHHH there was SMOKE coming out of my ears And fire from my sassy mouth! (I let her know that the pressure she is putting on my with these calls is adding MORE stress to my life and she has to STOP panicking that something is wrong! "If something is wrong, You will be The FIRST person I tell! Okay?!!! Stop screaming on my machine!!!)"
Then the guilt hits me. HARD! My poor mom is 81! I am so so lucky that she is still kicking, especially when so many friends I know have lost their moms at a much younger age. So would you like to Know what's going to happen next?.... I can tell you, because We go back and forth like this so often! It's a predictable dance, But a Dance that seems to be working to keep our relationship in tact.... I won't get a message from her for a long time. I will have to do the calling. When she finally leaves a message, she will be talking much slower than normal,
and she will say something sarcastic like this ... Lu? I'm sorry to call you.I know you don't want me leaving messages. I Know I must be bothering you. Your SO busy all the time, but I just wanted to tell you something.. do u think it would be too much trouble for you to call me?....
(the dance continues) ...

I call her back and TRY patiently to say something like " MOM... You KNOW u can Always call me! I WANT you to! It's the way you Yell and Panic and demand I call you right back, that makes me stressed and Angry! For goodness sakes, Just make a NORMAL caring phone call!! (this is my favorite part of our choreography!) For many calls afterwards I get these type of messages (I call them the SYbil calls because I just know this Is NOT my real mother) Mom becomes all sweet and loving and talks much quieter than her normal 'Screaming Brooklyn' tone. She lengthens all her words. For instance, sweet heart becomes Sweeeet hearrrrt.... I get messages like this one...(try to read it the way she says it) "Hi sweetheart, I am just thinking about you, DOn'T worry, BE happy! (soft giggles) if you're busy you don't have to call me back... I just want to say ...Love u! Tell the kids I love them tooooo! (and she usually not only lengthens but sings the ...goooood -byIIIIee) I can never call her TOO soon after I listen to the Sybil messages, because it takes me a while to contain my laughter!

How mean do I sound!!?? This was not intended to be a post where I crucify my little old mommy!!! On the contrary! I am beating myself up for not being even MORE patient with her.
When i feel guilty like this I try to do real nice things for her. When she called me to Thank me for the Valentines card she reminded me that I had written in it...
"To my Sweetheart"... BOY did that make her day!! She said 'LU! I'M YOUR SWEETHEART?? AWWW THAT WAS SO NICE"! I must have been feeling some guilt when I wrote out that card!
Either that or we were in the Sybil part of our tango.

So tomorrow as I take my son for surgery and probably say things to him, that I interpret as loving and helpful, and he interprets as annoying and ridiculous... I'll feel worried, I'll feel guilty, and I'll HOPE LIKE HELL THAT MY SON KNOWS HOW TO DANCE!
(OH! AND I will remember to CaLL MOM and let her know how he is doing!)