Sunday, January 11, 2009

Organic Brain Syndrome

Organic, eh?
Besides not having much computer time, due to the fact that my kids are as hooked into cyber world as I have become, and as much as they say "sure Mom, you can use my computer", I can see their expression is similar to when they were young and were told, it's flu shot time.
Besides this problem, my other problem with this Sunday Scribblings prompt was... Organic??
i seriously was totally UNinspired. I tried to put down my book club book and begin searching my wintry cozy brain for SOmething, anything. I love scribblings day, i want to play too! So then, it came to me.. An unusually organicY topic.... MY BED.
Yep, I am an organic chick after all. i may not spend the extra bucks for organic carrots and organic bananas, but BOY did I pay dearly for my organic bed.
It is made from a rubber tree! NO! I fool u not! It is a very long story that my husband is not too happy about me telling, but I will give u a shortened version, of what led us to our latex mattress!

About 3 years ago we set out to buy a twin mattress for my son. The 3 targets, I mean shoppers head into sleepys. As my son and I compare and test and debate over the twin beds, my husband has been SwOOped up by the shark in the bad suit with the worse toupe. The next thing I know I look across this huge store and there he is jumping on a king sized bed with Mel Toupe egging him on and clapping no less! I immediately know I am in trouble, since Mr. petals had hinted often that he thought we should invest in a king sized bed.
I make my way over to him and before i can say 'are u crazzY'? Mel has boosted me up and I too am jumping up and down on the bed. Like a typical woman, i am a comparrison shopper. i wont' buy a salad spinner without first checking all that are available and making a smart choice.

So when my usually sane husband begins having organic brain syndrome and starts telling me that we HaVE to buy this (ridiculously expensive) temperpedic bed, I am stone faced and adamant as I say.. "We need to leave NOW, lets go have lunch, lets talk reasonably about this", AWAY from the luxuriously expensive bed and the irresistibly evil Mel.
He wouldn't budge. He then hits me below the belt with... "WHY must we shop around for EVERYTHING?" WHY can't FOR ONCE we make a decision on the spot and save me the weekends of torture in every mattress store on Long island!!" Add to this my son who is usually not a traitor, but he is saying 'yeah Mom, buy it, dad is right, come on," and he is taking sides with the mid day meal of a shark anticipating the yummy bite. Against my best judgment, against my common sense, against my entire grain... I decide to not have a war over this and We buy a bed we can't afford but of course mel has the 0 interest paper work in my face about that.

The bed is delivered the same day..... As they undo the plastic wrapper around the bed, for the first time i notice in beautiful writing all across the mattress CASHMERE cashmere Cashmere CaSHMERE. Guess who is allergic to Cashmere? Yeah, me.
Making this much too long story shorter, we return it and find out that the return policy states, you can ONLY return it and buy something of EQuAL value... NO MONEY baCK!
Guess what is as ridiculously priced as a temperpedic cashmere Freaking kING SIZED BED??
You got it, An organic latex bed. make from the rubber tree. My husband justified that it's great to have such a comfortable bed since we spend 1/3 of our lives in bed to which i quickly retorted..
Yeah, THAT is why out of all the purchase u make in life... THIS would be the one that should have had the most extensive research!
I can tell u that after 28 years of marriage this is THE only subject that is SO touchy with both of us and no matter how much time passes, it may still lead to divorce one day! ( oh the one thing I just have to add, After our latex bed arrived, it arrived with a tag that wasn't on the stores display... " DUE TO THE NATURAL LATEX PRODUCT, IT IS NORMAL FOR THIS BED TO SINK UP TO 1 1/2 INCHES." well, the deep impressions on each side where we sleep are so noticeable to the large hump in the middle which has NO deep impression. We are sleeping in a bed that looks like it is about 50 years old but won't be paid for till I am.)


Giggles said...


And that's all I'm going to say about that!

Hugs and a millions Giggles....hahaha don't get me started!!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

A rubber bed is great for safe sex...I'm with giggles...hahahahahahahaahaha

Jeff B said...

Saw your comment over at Sunday Scribblings and had to see what it was all about. Sure glad I did, that was/is a riot.

threesidesofcrazy said...

Lucy I'm still LMAO as I picture that old I love Lucy where Lucy & Ricky and Fred & Ethel are all inthat old motel room by the train tracks and the beds are so old they have major indentations in them...

Love Tammy's answer too - I needed a good laugh!

anthonynorth said...

Rubber bed? You couldn't make it up! :-)
Loved the last sentence.

Marguerite said...

Loved this post. Such a funny story and you told it so well. Mine's a humorous one, also. 100% Horse Hockey

Bone said...

You rarely fail to make me smile or laugh these days.

The Cashmere reminded me of the white sweater with the red dot that George bought on sale for Elaine, hoping she wouldn't notice the dot :)

Anonymous said...

A funny story made funnier by the wonderful way you told it! A gem of a post.

Tumblewords: said...

Roaring with laughter! You're lucky it wasn't organdy, I think. Mel Toupe used to be my favorite singster but then I didn't know his sharkles were so loose.

paisley said...

and i always wanted one of those temperpedic beds.. they seem like they would be so cool to sleep on...... guess you;ll never know tho will you... or me????

Barb said...

Frickin' HILARIOUS!!!! We got rid of a bed that had the dents on each side last year. We got a water bed, though. :)

Hootin Anni said...

I'm with Skittles....waterbeds. Awesome.

But this literally cracked me up. Come on 50th birthday, huh? LOL

Mine is lame for bottle. But, I just added a bit o' fun to it also. Come by if you can.

Patois42 said...

Oh. Dear. God. You own that man now. Totally own him. Nothing you have done or can ever do will equal a rubber bed. Rubber. Ha ha ha.

TC said...

Oh Lucy. Oh my. This was so cute. I have a hunch Mr. Petals learned his lesson! (And that is that women are always right and should be listened to more often, of course.)

Forgetfulone said...

Don't you love Queenie's remark? That's hilarious! As was your story. Only you, as I always say.

Anonymous said...

OMG! "Mel Toupe". You are too funny.
and uh, we bought a new king size bed, too a year ago and well, uh, I named it... (because I'm so weird). Your whole story here is priceless (despite the hefty price tag). As for your "bed impressions", I hope, uh... (read my mind *wink*).

ann said...

Too too funny Lu!