Bettys secret

Did you ever have something strike you so funny, so hysterical, yet you were the only one laughing? Last week as I made my normal rounds to buy beauty supplies I was struck with such a fit of laughter. While browsing in my usual store, with my usual saleslady, A HUGE new sign stopped me in my tracks. It read: NOW YOU CAN COLOR YOUR HAIR DOWN THERE! INTRODUCING HAIR COLOR FOR YOUR BETTY! Well, I was so astounded( and a bit horrified.) I just started laughing and saying things like "oh my god, People on the street can see this sign" "Betty? Who is Betty?
Should I be calling her Betty?"
"What about men? Is theirs a Barney?" "Who is interested in this? Don't they know our country is at war?" "Now we need more maintenance? Our roots on our heads AND on our-Betty's?" I was seriously cracking myself up! My usual girl was smiling( no hysterics), however her temporary Christmas helper was looking at me with a frightened look. She apparently didn't see the humor. (She must be sporting a hot pink, heart shaped Betty) Yes,This Betty coloring kit even comes with stencils! Of course, my laughter didn't stop at the store. I, of course shared the good news with many of my female clients. Thank god I am NOT crazy, because their laughter made mine seem sedate. The women were crying with laughter. (Several, pretended to be outraged, but I predict they will be calling for a private Betty session!) Geez, I don't think i am set up for this task! I feel like that Seinfeld episode, where Jerry says" now I will have to hang beads, and dress differently" Well, he says something like that.( the episode is about the menage a trois)
Don't get me wrong, I do think Betty should be taken care of! Besides her daily scrubbings, She of course needs a trim, even conditioning treatments. If occasionally she needs a little excitement with a dramatic color change- Shouldn't that NOT be left in the hands of a stranger? Some things are just best done by yourself! Or here's a good suggestion- get your lover involved in the transformation. Please leave me out of this little boost in your love life. When i went to beauty school ( many years ago). WE just didn't have to past the state board betty test!
I think this should be on sale at K-mart or Cvs along with the do it yourself hair-coloring kits. Not in the beauty supply stores. Please tell me, you agree with me. Is the world getting a little wacko? WHO out there, is planning on calling their hairstylist for a New, New years Betty?

Ch Ch Ch Ch changes

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Even with all my complaining and my overwhelmed attitude, we not only pulled off a delicious, organized, fun (and yes dust free) Christmas eve, but we also thoroughly enjoyed it! Besides our regulars ( my husbands family), Our best friends joined us and made the Eve even more jolly. They added so much warmth and conversation and holiday spirit. On saturday i was ranting that I will never do this holiday again, and by monday morning, i was making up next years menu in my mind. Like the song says, there is no place like home for the holidays. The amount of preparation and work and money spent was all worth while. ( i hope i remember this feeling come next December!)

I haven't begun my official list of New Year's resolutions yet. I know exercise and dieting will be on there, but i think what should be number one on that list is Change. Change in attitude for one thing. I want to stop being stressed out by my life.
I want to take each day with a calmer pace. The first step i plan on taking is putting myself ahead of my job. I am done making a million exceptions on when i work. I am going to set hours and days and stick to them. I am going to remember that my sense of peace is more important than making sure everyone is accommodated when their schedule permits. Running myself ragged is only running myself to an early grave. I don't think it matters if I accomplish less in my day than i feel i have to. I need to change the expectations I place on myself. I am not wonder woman, no matter what you may think! I need to breathe, I need to spend time with my family, I need to prop my feet up on those messy couch cushions. I need to blog more and complain less. I need to change. I need to walk my dogs. I need to take a yoga class. I need to clean less. I need to play more board games with Son #3. I need to make more lunch dates with girlfriends. I need to drink more of my favorite green tea. I need to be a changed me.

Merry Christmas

Wishing everyone a Peaceful, Loving, Merry Christmas!
(Instead of blogging I will be egg nogging)
Hope to see you before the New Year!

Wii are successful!

Well, putting out the word to find a wii has paid off. One of my kind clients called me with some great news and cute advice. He said " I heard from Santa, and he said, go out and buy some Wii games for your son". I was so excited that he found one and so grateful that he even searched. However, my son, who began helping me with my quest for Wii,
had been planning on camping out ( no tent) with many buddies. Even with his ecstatic joy of Mr. Client finding wii, he still asked if he could have the "experience" of the all nighter with his friends. And because Mr. Client said the wii would be delivered some time next week, and because I am a paranoid lunatic.....Well, Yes, We will have 2 wiis. The good thing about that is I know a few people who also expressed their kids desires for one, so I will hopefully help thrill another kid.
All this anticipation for granting this kids craving has been so distracting. I am hoping that now that my mind is clearer, I can focus on shopping & cooking for Christmas Eve, wrapping, cleaning, baking cookies and trying to make my clients look beautiful. I don't think there will be time for my roots or my much needed eyebrow waxing. So i will look a bit groucho as I am serving up my holiday dinner, maybe Santa can put a cigar in my stocking.

punishment and reward

The only thing my youngest son wants for Christmas is one of those Impossible to find, Nintendo Wii's. Seeing Sunday Scribblings prompt this week led my brain straight to the torturous punishment I have been going through, trying to locate one of these over priced,under supplied, overly hyped games systems. I feel like punishing those bastards at Nintendo by not buying one, but of course that would only be cruel to my kid. I have been calling every store in a 25 mile radius every day. I have been stopping in best buys and gamestops. When i asked one wise ass kid in best buy, if they were getting any of these stupid wiis in, he asked me, " do you own tent?" I looked at him with confusion and said " A tent? What are you talking about"
According to this guy I am not going to get one unless i camp out in front of the store. yeah, like that is going to happen. The sad thing is my little guy is such a great kid. He doesn't ever ask for anything. He is one of those compliant, good people that just rolls with the punches. He so deserves to get a gift that would totally excite him. If he does receive his desired reward, it would be so worth the punishment of the hunt.

In the last hour

Sunday Scribblings has helped to expand my blogging world. When I first tried my hand at blogging, I didn't realize how much enjoyment I was going to get by discovering other blogs. A great way of finding other blogs is through the Sunday Scribblings Participants. What I have noticed as I am snooping around, Many bloggers have met and even formed friendships through
blogging. I am lucky enough to already fall into that category. My new friend Jenny visited my blog back in the summer. We just seemed to hit it off! I now consider her a special friend and I think we will be E-pals forever.

In the last hour I have just visited several blogs that I have discovered through Scribblings. My hope is to have loyal readers of my blog and to be loyal to as many as I can handle in my crazy life. Sometimes when you leave a comment, The blogger will come visit you and politely reciprocate. Sometimes, they don't.
Let's face it, We aren't writing for just our own enjoyment or we would use an old fashioned notebook or start a file in word.
We are looking for the interaction with others. As I partake in Scribblings, hope I can connect with many nice people.

It's the Most wonderful time of the year!

Is there any one else out there, as lackadaisical as I am this year, when it comes to the holiday decorations? Maybe, it's due to the fact that last weekend was in the 60's. Maybe, It's because Thanksgiving always sneaks up on me and I always think it should be moved to another week( Maybe the 2nd thursday of November would work well. Do you think those damn pilgrims care anymore?) Then we would have 6 weeks to get ready for the merriement. I am cooking for 16 on Christmas eve and my own family on Christmas Day. I still need to shop for gifts, Plan a menu, Shop for and cook the food. Wash the china and good silverware, Find and launder tableclothes. Shop for and write out cards. Wrap the damn gifts once they're here. But! first! those decorations must be put up, down and all over the house. Wait, even before that- What's really holding me up (and getting me down)- First! First!- My house needs to get dusted. It used to get dusted weekly, Lately, however, something is happening to me. I can't stand to dust. I have a million nicknacks which i still do love, but these little treasures make dusting endless. So, before i set out santa and his stupid reindeer and the dancing bears, and the smiling snowmen, A tree with 900 ornaments, 400 mini trees and all the other crap, I need to clean. Why is it that when i finally DO get in the spirit of things, I never think i have enough of these similar doodads. We all must do this, we go in the stores and it's ooooh look Santa on a swing, a reindeer with a dogsweater, a tweetybird in a tree, A snowman with a stick up his ass. An angel in a different pose than the 22 i already have. Then when it comes to unpacking all this shit and then dusting it and putting it back in the boxes in a few short weeks, it's tedious and exhausting. Geez, I can't believe what a scrooge i sound like. I usually am not like this. I love Christmas. I really do. It's actually my FAVORITE holiday! ( I am just finding this a difficult year to get in the swing of things.)
A few days ago I had to go for minor surgery. Everything is okay, I still have to wait for the lab results, but the doc. thinks things are fine. I just feel like between the pre surgical jitters and the post surgical recoup period, I am just not accomplishing anything! I have never been one to just sit and do nothing. Well this "rest and relax" few days is making me more nutty than i already am! If I had the cards bought, I could have at least been writing. If my decorations were down from the garage loft, I could maybe do the less physical stuff. ( i will have to bug my husband to do that this week). But first -WHO out there, can I bribe to come over and bring their endust?
Hey, Maybe, if i just procrastinate for another couple of weeks- I could just pretend there's a soft layer of snow under all the holiday cheer. Yeah! that should work. Incredible, Blogging has solved my problem! Hope it gives you a good idea too!

Nemesis

It was many years ago that i would discover my only nemesis lived foot steps away. That sunny peaceful day, our quiet neighborhood was invaded, for many hours,with her dogs incessant barking. ( I guess all evil doers have an equally diabolical side kick). Having a child suffering with a migraine, I decided to venture over to this new neighbors home, and politely request if she could Please bring her dog inside. I am serious. Even though you may be surmising that i planned on being rude, no- Sweet and apologetic was my intent. The Outside door was open, the screen door was unlocked. Music was blaring, In the distance I heard a baby wailing. I knocked. I knocked again. I rang the bell. I started yelling the proverbial "Hello'" "Any one there" Okay, This I thought is bizarre and possibly bad news. What if this new neighbor was injured, hence the dog and baby unattended? I would never dare enter on my own. I decided it was best to call the police. I explained the situation clearly, I apologized that I may be wrong about the neighbor needing assistance. The outcome- The evil nemesis was in her basement ( i would like to say- Plotting neighborhood destruction) But she was giving and getting manicures with a friend. How irresponsible i must ask you?? Who would listen to music so loud as not to hear their child? Well, I guess she disagreed with me. When the police left this N.N.N. ( new neighbor nemesis) Marched into my yard SCREAMING obscenities at me. Something like " Who the fuck do you think you are" "why the fuck would you call the police". I gave her a horrified expression- Put my hands up and said " Lady, you should be thanking me, I thought you were in trouble." I walked in my house and didn't have words with her again for about a year.

One year later she apologized and said she was in a stressed way. (Some bullshit like that) I accepted her apology. About a year after that, she proceeded to block my gate with her garbage pails. We used to have access to a side street, Now we don't. I let it pass, I don't need to go out that way.
Their garbage blows onto my lawn now. They are Always outside having a cig. and talking LOUDLY on the phone. So anytime my pets go out..... Yep, they are excited by the smokers and bark. Too much! I am having to let them in early not to disturb my other neighbors.
It seems like every day there is one thing or another that I witness, hear or am just pissed off by. She likes to back out of her driveway like a psycho, burning rubber!( She is going to run over one of her kids.) Her kids like to taunt my pets, they like to throw their balls and toys in my yard. Their fence is rotting and falling apart and they don't replace it.Their dogs are allowed to roam freely with no leash! The larger one is often in my front yard. I can go on and on. I think it would be easier to have Lex Luther as a neighbor.

for more nemesis stories click Here

Give us this day, Our daily fluff

This is what our couch looks like just about every morning.(that's molly with the scary camera flash eyes) When i chose this couch many years ago, a friend told me " This will be your first and LAST loose pillow back." I thought of one of my favorite quotes ( don't know who said it originally, but I like to think of it as thumpers quote)." If you don't have anything nice to say-Don't say anything at all." Well, turns out, She said a mouthful. As much as I love this couch when it is freshly fluffed, I resent this daily Extra chore to my extraordinarily busy, crazy day. It takes a good five minutes to turn each pillow upside down and bang them. By The last few pillows, I am fantasizing killing them with each whack. (The last few are always the fluffiest.)
Including the seat cushions on the couch and love seat, there are 14 smashed in pillows to fluff. Times that 14 pillows by 7 days of fluffing and I am whacking about 98 pillows per week. Take that 98 per week and in a year I have tried to kill about 5,096 mother fucking cushions.
It is truly maddening! I know what you're thinking, Why Fluff? Why Care? If it's just going to get messy each night, leave those floppy, mushed pillows alone, cushion killer! I admit, there are days when I Must skip the fluff. Just can't spare the extra 5 minutes, or I'm already stressed and just don't want to get that angry feeling, or my hands have no strength to give a good wallop. But look at that mess. It looks so untidy, my ocd just won't allow it too often. The difference is distinct. check out what a perfectly fluffed loose pillow back couch CAN look like...



The good thing about this couch is it is the first couch we've ever had that doesn't wear out.( Even with all the beatings it gets!) Before this sucker came along we had been through more couches than most families see in a Lifetime. They would get pilly, they would show premature wear. It was ridiculous. So I guess I should be happy that this mushy one is giving us lots of years. I wish I could say it was giving us lots of comfort too, but unless you rearrange pillows, it is not easy to sit in.
As Billy Crystal used to say " it is better to loook good than to feeeel good"

Lazing on a sunday afternoon

Today was a nice relaxing sunday. We sat with our coffee and newspapers for a long time. We listened to beautiful music. We painted. My husband paints beautiful paintings. Recently, when he urged me to try to paint too, I agreed. Well, I really enjoyed it! I surprised myself. Although I feel i am creative when it comes to my work, I am not artistic on paper. I wish I could show you a picture of my first painting, but I gave it to my son as a gift. He has it up at school.It was very UNrealistic, it was whimsical. The sky had many happy faces subtly hidden. It looked like happiness. This is a picture of the 2nd painting. My husband thought it had a monet feel to it ( wow, love is blind). I want to give this one to my oldest son, when he comes home for Thanksgiving. His love of painting also encouraged me. I know it isn't good but like a child with their first finger painting- I feel so proud of it.
Another past time today was a New haircut. I have had the same old style for so many years. It was just time for a change. My husband told me to leave it in his hands and despite all the caffeine I felt so relaxed, I complied! I am really loving the change. I may dare to go even shorter next time. Maybe, Like Claude Monet here- I will even sport a baret!

Blinkless Buffoons & Bjork

We had a great day yesterday. We went upstate to visit our middle son at college. It was so great seeing him, but also great to get to know some of his friends. We took him and four of his friends to the only restaurant we know of in his town. Good old Applebees. His friends were so friendly and so entertaining. They were so happy with their food and started giving us the low down on how little they had eaten that day. Two girls had had nothing so far that day, my son had a handful of nuts. Another boy had a mini bag of Doritos. And my favorite was my sons roommate who had 7 m&ms and 1 bagel. Apparently the "good" dining hall is closed on weekends. I was so happy to talk with these fun young adults, and know this is who he chooses to mostly hang out with. I am relieved to see they were caring, intelligent, and very social people. They also gave me the low down on how cautious and sensible my son is when it comes to college partying. Yes, I am sometimes gullible but this was honest and down to earth sharing. I believe them and really think he is lucky to have such a nice group of buddies. He is loving his life there and I hope his whole life brings him this kind of contentment.

The only part of the day that wasn't great was dealing with all the inconsiderate drivers! Yeah, here I go, I have to complain about something.
Has anyone else been aware of the increasing number of drivers who refuse to ever use their directionals? It seems to me, it is a conscious act of selfishness. Using a blinker after all is mostly for the benefit of others. It is also a way of keeping yourself safe, warning people of your intentions. The inconsiderate driver is too much of a moron to understand the correlation. They just want to make their move, no matter who is shocked or inconvenienced by it. I would like to make up a million bumper stickers and distribute them to anyone who feels the same. Just something memorable like DON'T BE A STINKER- USE YOUR BLINKER! These same blinkless buffoons are also the ones who like to change from lane to lane, constantly. They are the ones that don't allow you to keep a safe distance from the car in front of you. Any small space, they will drift into it. Please tell me it is not just me. Please tell me you notice this driving frenzy! I am reminded of a bit by George Carlin who said. Did you ever notice that anyone driving slower than you are is an Asshole and anyone driving faster is a Maniac! It is true. Think of it the next time some "stupid asshole" is in front of you and going much slower than you would like to be going. And as those cars speed by you while you're going 70-you say or think "fucking Maniac!"
The only thing that made the highway bearable- the great music we were singing along with. Car acoustics somehow allow us to become the artist! Yesterday I was Bjork. More bizarre than that- my husband was Christina Aguliera.

hungry mouse

Well, I am happy to admit that I actually didn't mind Halloween after all. As you can see I was not Mickey freaking mouse. I was Minnie Cheerful Mouse! ( the 4 points of wine could have helped!) Dressing up definitely put me in a more festive mood. My younger son needed my Mickey shorts so voila- my Minnie apron came to the rescue. My Dressing up seemed to bring out the best of the little tricky beasts. Many actually said Thank you! A cute bunch of little girls said "oooh, Look, She is dressed up too". A little boy with a screw stuck in his gory little face liked my lit up Pumpkin. Okay, this wasn't bad at all. Another positive that didn't hurt my spirit, was I weighed in at Weight watchers and lost another 3.8 lbs! I actually said "Holy shit" to the weigher! I thought I had had a bad week, food wise. I was so in the mood for Home made Chicken soup and didn't know how to weigh that. So I just ate it. All! It was delicious. Another foul up was when my son and I went pumpkin picking, I of course, chose the spot in town that bakes delicious donuts too. You can smell them as you are driving down the street! They were delicious! The icing on the cake (yumm, cake) was the 4 snack size almond joys I ate for lunch on Monday. Yep, they were REALLY delicious. (This weight watchers diet is pretty satisfying)
At the meeting a ww member told me about a website I thought I would pass along- hungrygirl.com ( gee, I know her) If you subscribe to it, It will send "tasty tidbits of the world of food and dieting" to your email address daily. Hope it's helpful, and Hope everyone had a nice Halloween.

Happy Damn Halloween

Halloween used to be one of my favorite holidays. Back in the day when hulk (with the bad cold) was about 5 and the sweet befuddled clown was under 2. I Loved making home made costumes. Quite a stretch for me, since I don't sew on a machine. A lot of things got stapled and taped together. I loved trick or treating with the kids, carving pumpkins, baking orange treats.
I loved being able to make costumes representing what the boys really loved. Like when they were into batman, but both preferred being Robin.
No need to fight guys, You can both be Robin. I loved hunting for the clothing or items I could miraculously turn into a super hero or villain. Like the year my oldest wanted to be Captain Hook, I found a perfect red dress on sale at Lerners. It had buttons up the front. I changed the buttons to large gold ones. I hand sewed white ruffles around the edges. I wish I could find a picture to show you, I remember being so proud of that costume. Something happened to me as the years went by. Slowly, year after year, I started dreading then hating Halloween. Maybe it began when my oldest wanted to go out alone. Maybe, it was the fear of my kids getting hurt, or running into trouble makers.
Maybe it's because in my neighborhood the kids began asking for More candy and not even saying " trick or treat" or "thank you". Maybe, it's because I am just an old grump.
What ever it is, I have been trying with the help of a pal, to get back in the spirit.
My friend Jenny LOVES this holiday. (spinningspiderjenny.blogspot.com) Just hearing her enthusiasm has made me try to be a little more zealous. I am actually going to dress up this year to hand the candy out to the little bastards. I am going to be Mickey Freaking Mouse. I actually helped my youngest Carve the pumpkin this year, instead of just throwing it on the porch. Unfortunately, He doesn't have the fun early childhood memories of halloween that my older kids have. After all, he is 8 years younger than my oldest. So when he was about 4, that was when my halloween resentment began. The poor deprived kid. As you can see from the following photo of him, my creativity went kaput. Being a ninja, meant wrapping a long sleeve, black t-shirt around his head and calling it a day.

Champagne Anniversary!

This year is my Champagne Anniversary!
Never heard of that? Neither had I. Three of my friends who are sisters ( and fantastic women ) told me about this. A champagne anniversary is when the date of your anniversary matches the years married ( the 26th of Oct. and I am married 26 years) These girls were so funny, As they were explaining to me what this is, they became so excited when they learned that mine was this year! I have asked SO many people if they knew of this tradition and NO ONE has. I think, maybe, you girls made this up to have an excuse to celebrate in a bigger way. Maybe, seduce the husbands into better presents? GOOD IDEA LADIES! It is a lot of fun ( just like you). My husband and I don't really care for Champagne and being on weight watchers ( I lost another pound this week)! I think we will be celebrating with some lite ice cream! Ooooooh la la !

The first photo is early on in our dating. I am guessing it's from May of 1976. The next one- you've got it! October 26th 1980.

Petal update

Since I am not a daily blogger, I thought I should update some topics I've touched on. This week, things are calmer than last. I am so relieved that I got to visit my injured son. He is doing okay. In spite of the pain, he is trying to continue his life without much down time. He lives with such nice friends, who help him get dressed, tighten his brace and help him cook. The night he called me from the E.R. my youngest son was having his birthday celebration. He had 15 kids here. Inside, outside, skateboarding , video games and the dreaded Man hunt. I was busy jumping from window to window, to downstairs in the rec. room, making sure things stayed calm. Of course, when the call came in from My hurt son, I was away from spy duty. Wouldn't you know it, a father comes to pick up his daughter a few minutes after my emotional distraction. I run downstairs to the main party area, NO daughter! I go to the back yard where kids are on the trampoline, No daughter. I yell for my son, who says she took a walk! Holy Shit! I mean she is only 14 years old. Aren't I responsible for her? Why the hell would she walk away? I have to return to the door to tell this very protective father, that his kid is not here! You can't even imagine the look on his face.( i keep thinking I am going to hear from his attorney!) It ended up that she decided to walk home,which is not far, but still this is 10 p.m. and she didn't tell anyone where she was going! My husband and I start arguing, (because he just hates it when i am beating myself up!) He is like, "they are 14- You can't possibly just sit and watch them all night. She shouldn't have done that!" Thank god nothing had happened to her, because come on guys- No matter what she did, I still argue- "She is my responsibility, when she is at my home!" On top of this stress, I am still upset and wanting to drive 3 hours to be with Mr. bike accident. Again, the husband disagrees and tells me to "calm down" and "think things through". I always say my kids would still be in diapers if they didn't have a dad.( Needless to say- that will be the last party my son has until high school graduation.)

Another update- if anyone read about my mom ( a few posts ago). Well, she is recovering from knee replacement surgery. She is doing super. Of course, they are giving her the v.i.p. treatment, due to her dedication in volunteering at that hospital. I pray the rehab isn't too painful.

As for the weight watching progress. The first week I lost 3.4 lbs! It was so exciting, and It was difficult. So difficult that the 2nd week, I just couldn't be as strict and I gained a couple of ounces. Hell, With all that was going on, what with missing kids, injured kids, and birthday cake, I guess that wasn't too bad. This week I am kind of sort of back on track again, but still craving massive amounts of sweets. I baked the w.w. recipe for cupcakes. It was actually delicious. But who can stop at 1 or 2 cupcakes. Also, they reminded me of yankee doodles sans the cream, so i have discovered shoving the whipped cream nozzle in them and giving a good squirt is doodley delicious! To make them all you do is combine a chocolate cake mix with 15 oz. of canned pumpkin and a 1/4 or so can of water. Bake for the time the box says for cupcakes. (anti- pumpkin people-) It doesn't taste like pumpkin at all. Don't forget the ready whip! ( they are 2 points without the cream!)
So that is the latest in my world, hope you share your thoughts with me.

heartache

This poignant quote is by Author Elizabeth Stone- Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
Every Mother can relate to this. We Feel this. We live this. Our children call us "over protective", they think we are "crazy" and we "worry too much". Until they feel the heart tearing state of mother hood, they will never know how right WE are.
Last night I got a call from my oldest son. From a stretcher in an emergency room. Delivered there by ambulance. 3 hours away from me. Only a mother reading this passage can imagine ( or maybe unfortunately, remember) the heart pounding emotional despair you experience. Thank god, he is okay. He had a bicycle accident and has a broken collar bone. He is banged up and bruised. He is hurting. I have never had a broken bone, but I can't stop feeling his pain. I want to bring him home, nurture him, hug him and make sure he heals quickly. But I can't force my motherly urge on him. He wants to continue on his own. He is after all a man now. He is comfortable in his life.He is many miles away from me. Compassion cuts like a knife. I need to see him and hold him and know he is going to mend. I need to visit him. I need to be with my heart again.

here I go again

I finally joined Weight Watchers! Again! This is my 3rd "official" time. Lord knows, in between I've followed the program on and off without the meetings. Back in '96 ( wow, I can't believe 10 yrs. ago) I reached my goal and actually kept it off for at least 5-6 years. In 1988? around there, I also reached goal and kept it off a few years. You would think I would be a lifetime member? Nope, foolishly, I never did the little it takes( i think attending meetings for 6 weeks?) to achieve that status. So here I go again. My eating habits have slowly gone back to all the wrong ones. I've stopped exercising all together. I haven't even been for the "walks on the beach" that I so falsely talk about on my profile. I have strayed so far from the "healthy me", I'm not sure I've got it in me to be her again. I used to do intense work outs at a gym. I used to do Kick boxing. I used to love weights. Who the hell was that woman? I don't think I can ever get back into that kind of shape. First off, I feel old and tired ( all the time). gee, you think it's the extra 20 lbs. doing that Second, I feel like I don't have much free time lately. hmmmm, Maybe too much time writing about nothing on the ole' blog and finally ,third- I LOVE TO EAT! ANYTHING I LIKE! ANYTIME I WOULD LIKE TO~!

This is only day two of the diet and I am feeling very weak.( not in the "I'm going to faint" sense, in the sense that I may fucking blow this already) I am Very hungry. I really would like a cookie. I seem to remember W.W. giving me more points last time I followed it. I only get 20 measly points a day! In case your not one of the millions who know about this diet, let me give you an example- A bagel
( something I am longing for) the delicious type from the bagel store?? Its SIX points! Smear that with scallion cream cheese and I can probably call it a fucking day! I made the mistake yesterday of wasting TWO whole precious points on a half cup ( do you realize how small that is) Of disgusting cottage cheese w/ pineapples, that I thought looked good. I should have stopped after one nasty bite, but i was starving, I tell you!

I'm hoping that at the next meeting, I can ask the lecturer about the secret foods that I know she knows about, but she is holding out on me. Lifers have tried everything and know what shitty artificial butter substitute tastes less like plastic than the others. They know which ice creams and cookies don't blow your points and won't blow you up with gas. They know how to make mashed potatoes by rubbing two spuds together. I remember there were tricks. ( just not a whole lot of real treats )

The one thing I am happy about, about doing this diet, AGAIN, Is that I joined with My husband. It's the first time we are going together. I am going to look at it, as time together. A night out.( a date) Hopefully, we will help each other.Hopefully, We will have some laughs. Hopefully, we will enjoy new acquaintances. Hopefully, he will smuggle snicker bars in his pockets.

skin

Okay here we go- I have wanted to participate in
Sunday scribblings for a long time. I'm worried that I won't know how to link correctly. This very clever blog, gives you a weekly suggestion of a topic you can blog about. This week it's skin.
Many things come to mind but I'm choosing to talk about feet. Yes, feet. (As frightened as I am to have you realize - I AM A NUT.)
So many people are walking around on hard, calloused feet. I envy them their freedom to go barefoot. To use this skin like a pair of comfortable, broken in shoes. But it's still part of your body. I am obsessed with caring for my feet. I Never walk barefoot outdoors. It looks so easy and comfortable. i've tried it. I am instantly discomforted. I need to run for the foot cream. Yes, not hand cream- I have found the Best foot cream after trying many.( Gold Bond Foot cream) After standing up all day at work, I can't tell you how dry my feet are!
( i can't stand that feeling) I think standing makes them dryer than normal. First, when work is done- I can't wait to wash my hands. but next, the feet.
( still not sure i am a looney?) My favorite treat is when my husband rubs them for me. usually I am lucky enough to have this amazing, sensual foot massage a few times a week!( ahhhh haaa! that's why we've been married so long!) His routine is to start with Johnson's baby oil gel ( i like the lavender scent). He massages that in first, then comes the gold bond foot cream. He knows my favorite pressure points. He has many stress relieving manipulations. My feet seem to control my well being. Just like a glass of fine wine can mellow & relax, calm & sedate you. A foot massage does that and more! It is also an intimate bonding, a time for closeness. Akin to holding hands or cuddling. The loving act of massaging my stressed little toes is definitely comparable to foreplay.
(okay, this is sharing way too much on the ole' blog! ) As weird as I am about keeping the feet sweet, I was very perturbed when a client noticed my "un" calloused heals and commented- Oh my god- how come your feet are so smooth. I was in sandals and I thought " Jeez,why are you looking at me so closely lady??" My feelings surprised me, I am usually not so easily ruffled. maybe all these loving foot massages are making my feet taboo! They're for his eyes only. NAH! I was just in a bitchy mood!

mom

My mom has been living in Florida for the past 19 years. She has had her ups and downs in life. I guess looking back there have been many more downs. Her first husband ( my father) died way too young, he was only 42. I was 3. My sister was 9 and my brother was 12. My poor mom was only 33. My mom had a full time job as a waitress. She tried to juggle it along with us. Life was difficult, to say the least.
Her one source of emotional support was from her sister, Terry. Nine years older than my mom, Terry seemed to be Moms guide. Her north star. (she was the reason my mom moved to florida) After many years, my mom remarried. After only 5 short years- he too, passed away. I think the loneliness that hit her was unbearable. In her lonely despair, she met her 3rd husband. They were married the longest- 19 years. Sadly, He passed away 11 years ago. Sadder still, three months before he died, so did Moms sister Terry. The loss was devastating.
This brings me to the reason I wanted to write about my mom. At 77 years old, she is doing unbelievably well. For the last 6 years she has been volunteering her time at her local hospital. Not only does she love doing it. It seems like she is being loved doing it. My mom sits in the surgery waiting room. While their loved ones are in surgery, family members wait with her. Well, she is not just waiting. She is singing to them. Telling them jokes. Making them eat something. Calling ( bugging) the Doctors to give them news. These family members are so grateful, They send her flowers, they write letters to the president of the hospital praising her. Recently, a reporter for a local newspaper was waiting for her moms surgery to end. She was so impressed with my moms caring and entertaining ways, she wrote a glowing article about her for the paper. ( she referred to her as a red hot mamma!)
Besides the hospital, she is a bingo caller 2 days a week. ( Here, she gets to tell the "off color" jokes) Instead of drowning in her grief. Instead of dwelling on the past and all the sadness. This very unique lady is giving of herself. She is touching lives. Her past has been heartbreaking. Her strength is inspiring. I Hope her future has only happiness.

Good Golly! Miss Molly

When we first were married, we got a beautiful Bichon Frise we named Blinky. We read all the books, did all the right things, including sending him to obedience school. As you "dog people" know, obedience school is really for the humans. They teach US how to train our pooches. It was great, Blinky would sit and stay, he would come when called,he walked beautifully on his leash, he even shook hands. The trend continued with our next dog a gorgeous wheaten terrier. She was even more intelligent than Blinky. I swore she was human. Her big brown eyes spoke volumes. She would listen better than most kids.( I think I will never get over her death)
Then a few years later, Cosmo comes along. Life was busy, kids were busy. I was always busy. We spent some time with the old dittos on training. He sits and will stay for a few seconds. He can dance around on his hind legs. He can even roll over( well, it's more of a half turn). Walking him however would be described as him taking you for a run. That brings me to my troublesome cockapoo, MOLLY. It is really not her fault that she is SO disobedient. When she came along 2 years ago, Life was even busier, The kids were busier + I was busier (and Older and more tired too)! Now that you have the background let me tell you about today.

Today was another dog grooming nightmare! Molly is terrified of EVERYTHING. Lately, she won't even go outside at night unless accompanied by Mr. Cosmo. ( her lover lover dog)(She worries about those noisy crickets) She whimpers outside as if she is scared of her own shadow. She is a nervous wreck if she goes in the car. Just Forget taking her for a walk! So today, when I walked her to the car on her leash to go into the car to go to the groomer, she pulled so hard, her collar popped open and she just took off! She ran so fast up our street, I ran after her (I don't really run so well) She was like lightening, Like a terrified rabbit, being chased by a wolf ( or by a screaming woman, purse flailing, high heeled sandals pounding) She rounded the corner and was a blur. I was so frightened. If a car was on the street, she would have run right into it. I ran back home to get my car. There was no way I was getting her on foot. Mind you, What I forgot to mention, Mr. Cosmo was going to the groomer too. He is already in the car and he is BARKING like fucking lassie yelling TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE. I hope none of the neighbors were looking out their windows. I was like an adrenaline crazed Lunatic. I am screaming for him to be quiet - I am looking for the keys- I am needing to urinate BADLY. Then a miracle happens. Miss Molly- she comes back to me! Maybe it was Cosmos barking - maybe he wasn't saying "trouble" maybe it was " get your ass back here you crazy bitch".( an actual "dog word") Whatever it was- I was so relieved. I was so exhausted - I still had to get these maniacs to their scheduled appointment. So I put Molly in the crate with Cosmo ( she is so naughty, she has to be crated in the car, she likes to ride ontop of my head, while I am driving) and off we went.
Thank god she is safe, she is home, she is clean and she is outside whimpering at all the evil crickets.
(by the way- there would be a photo of her - but she can't "sit and stay" long enough to take one)

Twinkle Twinkle

Thanks for the idea Ally.
If you would like to have a star too-go here
( it's been a light blogging kind of month)

happy birthday?

Saturday night, We went out to dinner to
Ruvo's .
We were celebrating a very special friends 50th birthday.
The food was so fabulous.The company was so fun,The wine was delicious.
50 is such a milestone birthday. Birthdays in general, to me, should always be special.
( especially these major ones!) My husband teases me that I am a nut when it comes to birthdays.
I really try very hard not to forget to send cards and call the people who are important to me. After all, major holidays are for everyone, but one just one precious day a year is yours all to your self. My son Frank, said something so sweet to me a few years ago when I asked him what he wanted for his birthday. He said " Mom, I should be getting you a gift for my birthday, if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't be here". That was one of those melting mom moments.
It surprises me when some of my friends say they don't want their birthdays acknowledged. One friend didn't even tell her kids she was having a 40th. It was too depressing or something. How do you guys feel about birthdays? Do you love receiving cards and birthday wishes? Or, do you wish birthdays would just go away?

This little pinky went to market

I was e-mailing a friend, who wanted to know How I smashed my pinkie finger. A light bulb went off- hey maybe I will write about this on the blog. I've been feeling blogless these days. I feel like if I don't have a damn good story, who will be interested? Or as my son Nick likes to tell me- Who Cares Mom? Why do you think anyone wants to read about your life? He really is sweet but he is also painstakingly honest. So anyway, about the stupid pinky. Which, by the way I remember reading somewhere that eventually it will grow smaller and smaller and we won't have one as we evolve, because we no longer use it???? What's up with that theory, Don't they type? I've been trying to type without the pinkie, trust me, you need that little guy. So anyway, in case you don't know me- I do a lot of things fast- talk, drive, walk and CLEAN. ( to name a few). While Cleaning on Saturday morning, I was rushing as usual to finish before work, I was wiping my table like the karate kid doing " sand the deck" on speed. That little pinky guy wasn't holding the paper towel with his four pals, he was jutting out there like a happy penis. Ram! right into the wood chair that was tucked under the table. YEOWWWW- My nail lifted partly off! (I know!- don't you have chills right now-??) It hurt worse than child birth. Yet, I had to work, despite the pain the blood the tears. ( im a cry baby, too) It wasn't easy, but professional that I am -I managed. The best part of the pinkie story is it reminded me of how my husband makes fun of fast lulu. My favorite time was when we were shopping in Costco, and he must have told me to "slow up" ten times. ( anywhere we go, I am fast walking 20 steps ahead of him, till i realize and TRY to slow up, it's like torture for me) So, all of a sudden he grabs my shopping cart and starts running down the aisles, throwing things in the cart and doing a very hysterical imitation of me shopping. I guess you had to be there, I still laugh so hard when I think of it.
So there Nick! I told my story anyway, na na na na na

color me- blue

Not much to blog about. The week went by quickly. My youngest son started High School. I'm feeling unusually blue.( not lilac) Having a hair-color dilemma going on in my salon. Need to change products- it's time consuming, it's confusing, it's expensive. As my clients get older and grayer, my color needs to get bolder and have better coverage. Changing each formula has been tedious, and I'm anticipating some whining women. I need to love the results or I won't sleep ( persnickety to a fault) ( got to love the thesaurus!) Let's hope tomorrow will be lilac day.

You Are Lilac

You are a very innocent and pure person. Ethics matter to you. Your friends consider you a great listener, and you often play therapist to your friends. You are good at drawing out truths in conversation, however painful they may be. Non judgmental and patient - people feel like they can tell you anything!

What Color Purple Are You?

Since Purple is my favorite color- I thought this would be a cute quiz. Not sure how innocent I am, but boy did they hit it on the head with the "people can tell me anything". If my salon had ears- they would catch on fire! I often think I should have a hydraulic couch. I will tell you though, I really enjoy being able to listen and hopefully help. So many people, just need someone to vent to, a tissue to cry into and a great haircut all rolled into one.

Almost successful!

Thanks to ally bean I Do have a picture in my profile! Ally suggested I go to flickr, which I did but I didn't have luck till i took more time to mess around. I finally saw how to resize a picture and there was the much needed url address! Now for some crazy reason the picture is in my "view complete profile" section, but not on the title page. Ever have one of those days where you wish you would have been a rocket scientist instead of a measly hair stylist?
*revision- (never mind- I see it is NOW there! It's so tiny I have to find a better picture)

blogging frustration

I have been trying for TWO days to put a picture in my profile. I have admired many blogs that have that added detail. I am by NO means computer savvy, but this is ridiculous! The problem seems to be that the few pictures I have of me (that I am not wearing pajamas, Hair askew and opening Christmas gifts), are Too Big. I have tried cropping them, constraining them, counterclockwising them! Blogger says they must be under 50K- Hey Blogger, I went to school back when we had NO K's! What the fuck is a K? kilogram,Keg of beer, kilowatt, WHAT? All I know Is I like this picture of me with Waxy Elton feeling my ass.
We had SO much fun at Madame Tussauds that day. My husband and I were feeling very silly and we posed like big hams with all the shiny celebrities. So here it is! My "wish it was my profile" picture.

still crazy after all these years

We took our middle son back to college the other day. Usually this event always makes me weepy, worried and anxious. ( typical me, no?) Well, I am so happy to share that This time around I handled it beautifully. I always knew that my son was friendly and well liked at school. However, seeing the overwhelming welcome he received was astonishing! The hugs, the kisses, the laughs, the kids running down the hall, yelling his name, wanting to see him. He must have hugged 100 kids. He is so funny. I don't know where he gets this gift. He is loaded with Charisma. When he was younger we called it "shit" as in - he is full of it! He knows how to schmoose. He also knows how to gather a crowd. I knew he was magnetic, but this was ridiculous! I wish they had a degree for it. Like an MSF - master of schmoozing & fun. To see him in his element. To see his joy in being back to this 2nd home. How could I get anxious? Sure I will miss him like crazy. Which by the way is his nickname at school- crazy nick, It's actually written on his dorm door. ( maybe i should be worried! haha)
I love how he can make me laugh, no matter what my mood is. I love the vast amount of music he plays for me and insists I should love. I love everything about him. It will be difficult not having him around for a while, but It feels so great to know he is so happy. I pray he has an academically successful year, I'm confident he will have a fun year.

And the winner is.....

Okay It's August 17th. Deadline for the funniest childhood memory contest!
( also my 47th Birthday!) I have read the great stories over and over. They are all so cute. They have all made me smile. But unfortunately there has to be only one winner. And the winner is Jenifleur! Here is her funny memory again-

When I was around 11 years old, I was having an early morning fist fight with my 9 year old brother and our 3 year old brother was repeatedly saying "Stop that! Stop it, you're going to wake up Grammy! Stop fighting you're going to get in trouble!"

My grandmother came downstairs, smacked the 3 yo and told him to be quiet, then went back to bed without so much as a word to us older kids.

He's still mad at us and we still think it's funny.

I must admit I needed help choosing and got my kids involved. It was unanimous. Congratulations Jenifleur!! send me an email with your address to loupee5@hotmail.com To everyone who entered - Thanks!!! this was the most fun I have had blogging. xo

Panic at the Beach

Okay, I have been accused too many times, especially from my boys, of being too uptight. So, Today when I lost sight of my youngest son at the beach, I tried to remain calm. This was my first trip to the beach this summer. I was looking forward to total relaxation, total detoxification. As soon as we arrived he said " I'm going in" and before I could gather my thoughts to tell him all the usual Mom warnings ( Make sure you remember this umbrella/ Remember we are on this side of the concession stand/ Don't go out too far / check back with me soon - He was gone.
I stood by the water trying to find him with no luck, so I started walking- trying to figure out which way the tide was drifting. Some people drifted east some west. So I walked both ways. No luck. I returned to our chairs and fellow moms, (all so kind) said he didn't return. Now tell me, how long would it take you to panic? Am I a total NUT like my 3 boys think I am? After an hour and fifteen minutes of walking and searching, I spoke to the life guard. He called the others on his walkie talkie to keep an eye out for my sons description. after another 30 minutes, I was beginning to seriously panic. I went to the main lifeguard stand, where they called the police. I have No idea what they would have done, besides, maybe give me an oxygen mask. No sooner, did they call them, that their radio informed them that my surfer boy had returned to our chairs! So they give me a ride back, in their little beach jeep. The few moms I had spoke to earlier kept running up to the jeep to tell me- "they've found him!" (God bless all Moms, we really feel for each other) Well, of course my little guy didn't walk down to the nude beach as the lifeguards suggested. He wasn't wandering totally lost as i feared. He was just jumping waves, swimming and having a 13 year old Ball! He drifted pretty far away, but he said "of course I knew the way back, I'm not like 8, Mom"
He was so shocked by what had happened and of course he looked at me like I was,- as my son nick likes to exaggerate-crrrrraaaazzzzyy!! No, I didn't break his legs, I didn't kill him. I just had a long talk with him and then we actually stayed and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon constantly waving to each other across the sand.

Cry Baby

Oh No! The Evil Vertigo has returned!
All I can do is cry.
This Has to stop, I am going insane!

LOOK AT THE CUTE PRIZE

All these childhood memories have been so cute and so much fun to read. Tracy's reminded me of a memory I had long forgotten. (thanks so much Tracy!) When I was about 6 I had a terrible toothache. My mother ( I guess of the very, very old school) gave me a shot glass of scotch and told me to dip my finger and keep rubbing my gums. She left my sister ( 12 years old) in charge. It didn't take long for me to refill and refill again and who knows maybe AGAIN- till I was hysterically laughing, STRIPPING, and running around my house naked like a looney. My sister was very nervous and couldn't gain control of me. I am so happy to remember that again! I don't recall what happened after that, I will have to call my sister and see if she remembers. I still like the smell and taste of scotch, but I never choose to drink it.

Anyway, I am excited to announce that I shopped for a beautiful prize today! It's hard to see in the picture, but this pewter 4x6 frame has a cute charm that says memories on it. Hopefully the winner will have a picture that can coincide with their story. I'm looking forward to reading more of them. They are all so great, choosing will be tough.

Prize patrol

Okay, I know I have some buddies who tune in on occasion to see if there is anything interesting going on in Lulus world. (so far, I bet you've been disappointed) Well it's YOUR turn to entertain me. I am going to see if this will motivate some of my quiet readers to do a little writing. Let's have a contest! I need AT LEAST 4 participants guys! There will even be a Prize awarded! ( to be announced later, after I think of a good one!) Just tell me Your funniest Childhood memory! That's it ! Make it as detailed as you can. Reach back to those fun, carefree days of your youth. What is that one story that you always reminisce about? I bet these stories will make us all smile. I promise to be an impartial judge. So - get thinking and writing.... and let's see .. we need an entry expiration date.... Lets say August 17th.
Good Luck!

My blog teacher

Today I am going to dedicate this post to my friend Ann. If it wasn't for her I would have never started blogging. She was the first person to tell me what the hell a blog even was. She was and still is the only person I know with a blog. She Is- as I always tell her " the hippest chick I know". Now that she has taught me how to link, I would love to link my buddies to her blog. I am taking quite a risk of losing the few readers I have. She is usually a daily blogger ( unlike me). She receives many comments ( unlike me) She is a talented knitter ( unlike me). She is Witty and funny. ( I bet you thought I was going to write unlike me here.) When you check out what Ann has to say, you will notice she has many links to many great blogs. Sometimes she uses words like larder, but don't let that throw you- She is worth reading. So thanks Ann- I am really liking this blogging thing. And I really like you. ( not like you,like you,-just like you ) xo

I'm in a place called Vertigo

I have a feeling I wasn't hung over after all last week. After two more mornings of literally spppiinnnggg around my house and nausea that was unbearable, I went to the Dr. It Appears I have VERTIGO , Which is most likely caused by a viral inner ear infection. I am praying that this is a quick visit from the evil vertigo. He is ruining my life. He actually gets into my head while I am still sleeping. I can feel the room spinning through my dreaming. Then trying to sit up and walk is the equivalent of what it would feel like to stand and walk while on a roller coaster. Friday morning I had to sit for 90 min. ( in one spot) till I felt well enough to take a shower. Saturdays sit in was for 2 and a half hours. I had to cancel all of my hair appointments. Today, I am still not 100 % and I have been up for 3 hours. The dr. gave me medication, Antivert. It is suppose to prevent and treat the nausea and dizziness. The side effect that I am getting from it is tiredness. I slept all day on saturday. When evil visits you, you can't help but long for normalcy. I will never again take for granted the normal, blah days that are routine, busy, tiring. I am longing for them. I also can't stop thinking of all the really sick people out there, that have symptoms like this and worse that they have to live with daily. I am especially thinking of a dear friend who is going through Chemo. My heart aches for him.

If any body has any advice about this deviant, please let me know. If this Evil Mr. Vertigo doesn't leave my body soon, I will be blogging from the looney house. Either that, or I will arrange an exorcism? Any one game?

hiccup

Saturday Night we went to a friends party. I'm not a big drinker so I only had two drinks. They were delicious. An apple martini first then a sex on the beach. I felt fine. I didn't even feel buzzed. I walked into the outdoor bathroom and didn't realize there was a step down. BANG! I went down hard. I was more embarrassed than hurt. Of course my husband assumed I was Lit, since usually I am after ONE drink. Thank goodness, I didn't break anything, but I did bruise my ankle and knee. The next morning, I was sick as a dog. Nausea then vomiting. I can't believe 2 drinks did me in like this! Maybe it was the different liquors in the mixed drinks. Vodka usually doesn't make me sick. My head ached all day, my stomach was frail all day. Not to mention, by the after noon, by right leg was aching my ankle was worse. Sunday which is usually my favorite day of the week, was just awful and wasted. Of course now, I've sworn I will NEVER drink again. Hugging my toilet bowl all morning is just not my cup of tea. We have all been there - On our knees- laying on the bowl, not caring who's ass has been there- Finding religion- Any higher power that will make us feel normal again. But, alas, Our memories are short even when it comes to discomfort, or we all would have had just one kid.

Home sweet home

It seems like only yesterday. Yet, yesterday, we went to see him in his new home. Yes, my oldest son no longer lives with us. It is still a bit hard to believe. He is officially on his own, he has a new peg to hang his hat. He is responsible for himself in every sense. I thought I would have been upset when this day came. I mean just look at that little adorable face. Yet, I am very ready as I know he is. I think I did a great job raising him. He is a mature, responsible man. He is a thinker. He is an artist. He is kind. He is intelligent. He has strong morals. He is honest. He has compassion. He is a good communicator. He is helpful. He is a good friend. He has always been a first-class son. If those qualities don't make him ready to take on life- nothing will. He seems happy in this square, white house that he is sharing with a few friends. They live like a family, sharing good times and grocery items. He is excited about this new chapter in his life. I'm excited and happy for him. I hope this is the beginning of ALL the good things he wants in his life. I hope he is always safe and happy. I hope he never forgets that our home will always be here for him. The home he grew up in. If he ever needs it. Home base.

Finally after 10 long years, we went on a very needed disney vacation! As you can see my middle guy really missed Pluto! I didn't think the kids were going to appreciate a character dinner at their ages. I just really wanted to eat at the Liberty Tree tavern again, I remembered it being good 10 years ago. It turned out to be a really fun dinner. We had so many laughs- starting when my husband called goofy - A goofy Bastard! I think the actor in that suit wet himself. ( i know I almost did!)
There were many good times like this night, but I must say, Disney has changed a lot. It used to be such a friendly place. Now the employees are as surly as Grumpy. It isn't even as clean as it once was. Poor Walt must not be at rest. It also isn't as "amazing", simply because of the advances in our own technology. Years ago, it was amazing when those country bears spoke and sang.... now it's like.... lame.
We did enjoy the beautiful weather, every day was in the 90's. We had delicious meals in Italy and Japan. I had No laundry, No cooking, No worries. It was wonderful.
It is hard getting back into the swing of things. Especially when the first night home, My youngest ( ernie) falls off his skateboard and gets a pretty bad skinned arm. Now a few days later it is infected and he is in pain, and on antibiotics. Welcome Back to reality.

Tell me- What kind of driver are you?

Last week I had to drive upstate to get my two sons from college. In the past my husband has always done this with me. This year,a new job and new hours prevented him from being able to go. I shouldn't say he has done it with me. HE has just done it. I just sit there and say "oh god, I could never do this". I don't fear driving around my own area, or anywhere on Long Island. It's that unfamiliar driving that has me a total wreck. Remember that "flea circus" post a few weeks back? Well, I Still think I had hives and I think it was from being so nervous about this road trip! Another problem with being a nervous nellie- Stress=Sickness. Two days after "the big trip" I get tonsillitis. Is it really worth it all?
Do I really need to try to "act like a grown woman" and get over my fear? Or is it realistic to say- Hey, Everyone has limitations. There is a TON of shit I am damn good at! (gee- I should be writing a "ton of shit I'm good at" list)
So I made the journey- In the down pouring /poor visibility/ hydroplaning /driving/ F_ _ _ _ _ g Rain! I don't think my boys realize how difficult it was for me. Especially my oldest ( robbie). He is the most relaxed, laid back driver. On the way home ( i am a passenger now, but still nervous) - I am watching him and he is oblivious to people passing him with annoyance because he is going too slow in the left lane. Oblivious to people who don't use blinkers, cut him off, speed by at 100. I said- "Honey I think that guys pissed because your going slow" "Hey, that's his problem" was his only response!! spoken with that slow, sitting on the porch, kind of tone! He certainly doesn't take after his father! Or we could call him road rage robbie ! My husband drives with such urgency and intensity- he could be a new thrill ride at great adventure. I think he is a good driver, he hasn't had an accident in 30 years. But you hold on and wish you had that security bar fall into your lap. He's flashing lights, flashing his finger, rounding curves at 85, smokin', eating, cursing, telling me funny stories, singing with the music. Its a one man show, it really is. Even though he gets me home safely each time, I sit there with my heart in my throat and say" Holy Shit- I could never do this! " Maybe that's why my fear is so strong. I think it has to be done the Mario Andretti way. Maybe, if i use my son as my role model - if I get lost, I get lost . If I'm late, I'm late. If I'm scared- Get over it. - Maybe, or maybe, I should just give them air fare.

Take the time to feel the marbles

I have a beautiful lavender bowl ( a gift from one of my favorite clients), that I recently filled with decorative marbles I bought at Michael's. This morning while doing laundry I found one of these marbles in my sons jeans pocket. It struck me as simply adorable.
Something most adults wouldn't usually do- find a new shiny object so smooth and interesting you just feel like touching it all day.
Even though " ernie" ( remember I am using the "my 3 sons" shows names!) is getting older, I so treasure the childish things he is doing less and less of. I am also treasuring the innocent child like things he sometimes still says. The other day while decorating his grandfathers 75th birthday cake, he so sweetly said to me " mom, I don't mean to be offensive, but grandpa may only have like 25 years left" How adorable is that? I hated to explain to him that grandpa would be very lucky and happy to live to 100. Lately, I feel like I've been more observant and appreciative of all the precious daily moments of ernie than I was with my other two sons.(chip and robbie) A big reason is I am less frazzled than when I was raising 3 young kids. Besides that, I think it's the monumental approach of high school for Ernie this fall. The realization that childhood happens in a heartbeat. The actuality that my older boys are adults already. (maybe, Perimenopause?) Whatever it is...I wish I would have written down all those millions of adorable, precious
expressions that have melted me for nearly 22 years.

Happy Mothers Day

How About a little humor on Mothers Day?

**Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that 3 Brazilian soldiers had been killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's face, and he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering. Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"


**A tour bus diriver is driving with a bus full of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up
After about fifteen minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady why they don't eat the peanuts themselves.
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth," she replies.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then"?

The old lady replied. "We just love the chocolate around them."

ideology 101

Forgive and Forget
What goes around comes around

Which phrase do you live by? If someone you love always forgets your birthday- Do you purposely forget theirs?
Or do you forgive-they must have been absent minded.

If you've had friends over for dinner many, many times and they've never reciprocated- Do you stop asking?
Or do you make an assumption like - maybe, they don't like to entertain guests.

Phone calls- thats a biggie- My mom had such a strict calling Rule. " I called her last" - I always remember her saying that. I would always wonder- What if they don't call her? will she just loose that old friend?? And How did she keep track of that give and take thing, so well? Even, today at 77 - she sometimes still mentions that she called ME last!

Maybe the "goesaroundcomesaround" theory is a defense mechanism, so we don't feel hurt. Maybe it's immaturity, or insecurity. Does Forgiving and forgetting make you a fool? I think we all live by both attitudes at different times and with different people. I am questioning myself on both. They can both be hurtful ways to live. Lately, I am opting for forgiving and moving on. Not taking so much to heart. Giving even the most thoughtless, the benefit of the doubt.
Leave a comment and let me know what you think.. ( i will forgive you if you don't!)

it's not that easy being green

My middle son, who is away at college has the worst spring allergies I have ever witnessed. The sneezing The wheezing The asthma attacks. Eyes that are SO itchy he always ends up on cortisone eye-drops, and last year a cortisone shot. This year, I was hoping he would do better upstate at school, I hoped Maybe there were less oak trees than in our backyard. No such luck. He is doing terribly. It breaks my heart to know he is suffering so much. The amount of green pollen that blankets us this time of year is awful. Yesterday, I couldn't walk outdoors without it gagging me, making me run to get water. My car is green, my house is green, my dogs are even green.
Having your kids away from you when they aren't feeling well is the worst heartache. After I spoke to him Saturday Eve. I was ready to get in my (green) car and drive the 4 hours to just be there. Of course husbands think more with their heads than their hearts, and mine convinced me there would be nothing I could do for him, unless I could give him a cortisone shot myself. So, I resisted the heart tugging impulse and didn't go. It's so difficult that his allergy attacks happen at the end of each school year, when he needs to be sharp for studying, finals and the research papers that are all due. Wish the professors could give him an allergy curve when they grade. One more week of worry and he will be home. Thank goodness.
I decided not to use my boys real names on this blog. So being I've heard about a hundred times " oh! my 3 sons!!" I've decided to name them Robby, Chip and Ernie. Although my youngest just requested he be Robby, I am leaving him ernie so that I don't get confused. Remember this one piece of advice - The next time you meet someone who has 3 sons, refrain from using that "clever" line on them... they've definitely heard it already!

10 lbs. of balony in a l lb. bag

I am very excited about our upcoming vacation. It has been a long, long, LONG time since we have been away. I don't mind all the preparation, the planning, the packing...... I only have one problem....... the dreaded...... Bathing Suit shopping!!!! ( wish I could plug in that movie horror music they use while killing people, right now) I think every woman can relate to this horrific, self confidence crushing, gruesome experience. I just don't get it. I'm not obese. I mean like most americans, I can use to loose about 15 lbs. But damn it, I'm not a house! Why is it that those unwanted pounds become like 100 lbs. when trying to get your ass into nylon and spandex? I may just opt for shorts and stay out of the water. Should I even go into the swim suit top? My breasts Have seen better days, but they're still workable! Why must they look like all hope is lost in these wireless, skimpy, boob sacks? I recently told my mother in law, that I admire those 200+ pound women who go to the beach in a string bikini. She was outraged at my statement, She said " Admire them?? Don't admire them, they are insane!"
Are they? It must be nice to not be so self conscious, to be a free spirit, to dry off more quickly than with cutoffs. Oh well, I am sure I will work this out. I am waiting for a victorias secret "Miracle" suit to arrive in the mail. I have always believed in miracles. But if this one works, I will believe in the tooth fairy too.
( how about magic mirrors?)

Flea circus

Last week I had a terrible outbreak of Hives on my legs. It's such a mystery. I haven't used new detergent or soap. I did try on bathing suits the day before the break out. Maybe chemicals on new clothing? I did eat a handful of almonds. Maybe a new nutty allergy? It is so uncomfortable. I went to the Dr. yesterday and he thinks it may not be hives, it may be insect bites! Right away my mind went back to 2 weeks ago when I tried a new groomer for Molly. This woman grooms out of her house. It was a dark, damp, dirty basement. Her instruments looked seedy. She looked ragged. I got the thought that I was bringing Molly for an illegal abortion. My better instincts said Lie and get the hell out of here. But what did little lulu do? I left my poor innocent baby there! I've never been one for confrontation and I couldn't think of a good excuse. I wish I could have just said, " gee ( dirty lady) I'm sorry but I don't like your conditions here. I'm sorry I wasted your time. Thank-You. NO! Not me. I even tipped the hag when I picked up Molly! I have now drowned my two dogs with baths and frontline. I don't see a single flea but i am still itching and freaking. It's amazing how when a thought gets into your (crazy) head, It will make you totally neurotic! The only thing that makes me think my Dr. is wrong is insect bites get better and go away. These bumps are still red and itchy and yet my dogs Are not.

An Arranged Marriage

Molly and Cosmo are truly in love. Is it chemistry? Would Cosmo have fallen in love with any cute pup we may have brought home? I really don't think so. These 2 are so compatible, lovable and inseparable. Wherever He goes She follows. The cutest thing is Molly loves to go out often. Cosmo would rather nap. So molly literally "herds" him out the door. Maybe there is a little sheepdog in this cockapoo! Seeing how happy they make each other makes me know, I would never own only one dog again.To be happiest, they really need to live with their own species. I also know in my house - there's a whole lotta ear lickin' going on!

i love george bailey

It has come to my attention that SO many people have No idea about my blog name. So here are pictures to explain my brain! In one of my favorite movies "It's a Wonderful Life"- Jimmy Stewart's revelation of his existence occurs as he pulls his daughter ZuZus flower petals from his pocket and exclaims- "ZUZU'S PETALS!" If you haven't seen this Classic, Heartwarming Frank Capra flick- You are missing out on a treasure. In the pic. on the right he is holding Zuzu.( Thanks Ann, without you there would be no pictures!)

Time Travel

This is my husband and I- THIRTY YEARS AGO! After writing in my profile about how 25 years of marriage has flown by. I realized we've been together for 30 years. We met in 1976 in of all places Beauty School! Of course being a naive young girl, I assumed This cutie had to be gay. It didn't take long for him to put
" the moves" on me and prove me sorely wrong.
This picture was taken at his sisters wedding on Aug. 2. Hubby sure mislead me. He asked me to this wedding on our first date in May of '76 and insisted I allow him to buy me a dress to wear! I assumed he had BIG BUCKS. He was VERY generous.....So much for assumptions. Oh well, at least his generosity was and still is genuine. :)

What's in a name?

Having decided to try my hand at blogging, my first obstacle was a name. My name has never sat well with me. My parents named me after my fathers mother. Lucille. No offense to all the Lucille's out there, but I never cared for that name. I also never cared for the nick name that came from Lucille. LuLu. Since I was a wee little baby, my family called me LuLu. For many years ( like "baby" in Dirty Dancing) I didn't realize there was anything wrong with the name. Then my first passionate kiss at age 12! This innocent young boy (Eric) whispered " Oh LuLu". Well, the silliness of that name had me laughing instead of kissing. He felt uncomfortable and I felt my name didn't fit me. To the rescue my big sister- who suggests I take the Lu from Lucille and the Anne of my middle name and become Luanne! A New Lu is born. From that day forth I introduced my self to everyone as Luanne. In school i was still Lucille, At home the LuLu would not die. At my wedding I had the priest call me Lucille ( for my moms sake mostly) and several friends afterward said how sorry they were that the priest got my name wrong! I never legally changed my name so the confusion has been troublesome. Well, here I am now many, many years later, My husband and my friends call me Luanne. My mom still throws an occasional LuLu at me, which I now do not mind at all. After all the hoopla and insecurity and awkward circumstances..... I wish I would have just been a Lucy.