Celebrate!

This week Sunday scribblings asks us...
what have we got to Celebrate?
ELEVEN WEEKS that my husband isn't smoking!! WOooo Hoooo! He has tried to quit so often, once being successful for SIX whole years! THIS time, I just know he is going to beat them for good! We are also celebrating that he lost 5.4 lbs our first week back at Weight watchers and I lost 2.4 (reason to celebrate with a cupcake maybe or maybe...those desirable doritos!)
This week I am also celebrating that my stomach is feeling much better! My bloated condition has lessened enough for me to finally ditch the sweat pants and put my clothes back on! I am still waiting to hear from the gastro doctor to make sure my abdominal sonogram results were as good as my pelvic sono results. Based on how I am feeling, I am confident that the doc will give me good news! My genius friend Sally most likely solved my belly mystery! She thinks the bloating must have been caused by the iron supplement my doctor told me I needed to take due to my blood test showing I am anemic. The gastro doc. thought that her assumption could very well be what what causing all my symptoms.
If all these reasons aren't enough for us to have a party over here...
Check out my Crazy son....


Even though I don't really understand the attraction to his bizarre style of experimental music, apparently there are many who do. He and his band mates are getting a lot of attention due to their latest performance in Manhattan and in anticipation of opening for Sonic youth in their next show. Sonic youth! I even remember who they are and am impressed by this development! They are playing at the No fun fest in Brooklyn on May 16th.
My son is here with his chains that he slams against sheet metal in this particular song! WOW! That's-a My boy! CeLeBrAtE!!

True Colors Thursday

On my way home from my Weight watchers meeting I approached a red light and pulled up right along side of a Doritos truck which was in the right lane... Feeling Starved for my lunch, which I was on my way home to prepare, AND MISSING AnYthing by Mr. Frito lay... I was hungrily staring at the picture on the side of the truck! WEll, I guess that is why The driver then looked in my direction.. he then gave me a cute smile and a wink! NOT thinking clearly( due to my starvation! I like to weigh in to weight watchers with a pretty empty belly!) I proceed to lick my lips at him and rub my stomach while making 'yummy eyes'. He literally jumped back in his seat showing how surprised he was by my gestures. It wasn't until the light turned green and I drove off leaving him in the dust, that I realized he must have thought I was thinking HE was yummy!! How could he have known I was admiring the Giant sized 3-d doritos?? It was then that I could just FEEL myself turning SCARLET with embarrassment! What an idiot I am! Especially when running on empty!


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3 word wednesday

the 3 word wednesday words today are....
crush
knack
varied

The word 'crush' brought me back to my silly youth!

Her heart ache varied from dull to sharp pain
for each 'crush' who didn't even know her name
An eternal knack for choosing THE most unobtainable guy
A young starry-eyed dreamer lusting for pure pie in the sky

Panic at the beach

Being short on computer time, I decided to re-post and older post from '06, for Heads or tails see/sea week.. Not many people followed my blog back then and probably haven't read this one. (hope this isn't cheating Skitts!!)

I have been accused too many times, especially from my boys, of being too uptight. So, Today when I lost sight of my 13 year old son at the beach, I tried to remain calm. This was my first trip to the sea this summer. I was looking forward to total relaxation, total detoxification. As soon as we arrived he said " I'm going in" and before I could gather my thoughts to tell him all the usual Mom warnings ( Make sure you remember this umbrella/ Remember we are on this side of the concession stand/ Don't go out too far out / check back with me soon - He was gone.
I stood by the water trying to see where he was, with no luck, so I started walking- trying to figure out which way the tide was drifting. Some people drifted east some west. So I walked both ways. No luck. I returned to our chairs and fellow moms (all so kind) said he didn't return. Now tell me, how long would it take you to panic? Am I a total NUT like my 3 boys think I am? After an hour and fifteen minutes of walking and searching, I spoke to the life guard. He called the others on his walkie talkie to keep an eye out for my sons description. After another 30 minutes, I was beginning to seriously panic. I went to the main lifeguard stand, where they called the police. I have No idea what they would have done, besides, maybe give me an oxygen mask. I was really in a panic! No sooner, did they call them, that their radio beeped informing them that my surfer boy had returned to our chairs! So they gave me a ride back, in their little beach jeep. The few moms I had spoken to earlier each ran up to the jeep to tell me- "they've found him!" (God bless all Moms, we really feel for each other) Well, of course my little guy didn't walk down to see the naked chicks at the nude beach as the lifeguards suggested. He wasn't wandering totally lost or drowned at sea, as i feared. He was just jumping waves, swimming and having a 13 year old Ball! He drifted pretty far away, but he said "of course I knew the way back, I'm not like 8, Mom"
He was so shocked at me for calling out the posse and of course he looked at me like I was,- (as my other son nick likes to exaggerate)-crrrrraaaazzzzyy!! No, I didn't break his legs, I didn't kill him. I just had a long talk with him and then we actually stayed and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon. Me in my chair, finally taking a cleansing breath and enjoying the sun and sea breeze.... him ...jumping waves and waving to me constantly!!

update..( i tell u, reading this again.. I CAN'T believe I waited THAT long... Today I must be even crazier because I think I would have called the police after 10 minutes!! )

Thoughts on aging heart and soul

I am remembering that it wasn't too long ago when I had the passing thought that my future would Definitely contain some 'minor appearance adjustments'. Back then when I looked in the mirror and saw new little crows feet dancing around my eyes I thought.. NO WAY do I want to become all wrinkly and old looking! I mentioned it jokingly to my eldest who was probably only in high school at that time. I yelled.. "Start saving up for my surgery!!" Well, my surprisingly wise young son looked at me with his serious strong handsome face and more Like a Parent enlightening a child, he said to me.. "Mom, Every line around your eyes show all the times you've laughed in your life, Why in the world would you want to erase that reminder?" I hugged him and told him how brilliant he was and I never forgot those beautiful words and his beautifully heartfelt theory.

Fast forward a few years as I watched a very close friend make a 360 degree turn in not only her appearance but her entire attitude. I guess this was her way of handling aging. I tried so hard to be supportive of the "NEW Her", and was feeling so damn guilty and sad when our friendship died. Until, once again.. The wise words of that same son.. "mom, YOU are still the same person you were when u met her.. SHE did all the changing. If you would have met her the way her personality is today, you would have Never befriended her, right? So,move on and forget feeling guilty! I listened and moved on and am not guilty anymore, but I still can't help missing the 'old her', the friend who wasn't just totally obsessed with keeping herself youthful.


I've always felt that aging is a precious gift. I lost a dear friend to breast cancer at the tragically young age of 37. She left two young children behind. Had she been graced with a choice, I will Bet you Anything, she would have chosen growing older, no matter how many wrinkles, aches and pains, were part of that package. With each passing year and each additional wrinkle to mark each year also comes an additional indentation of wisdom. As I am growing older I feel like I am absorbing, valuing and appreciating the tiny blessings that I overlooked in my youth. The feelings of awareness, self confidence and freedom from insecurities are also rewardingly blissful. Certainly worth exchanging for some saggy, wrinkly outer skin. After all, that IS all that is.. your outer covering. If we could be turned inside-out, I think we would see that the older a person is lucky enough to grow,the more radiantly beautiful their hearts and souls become.
So I am opting out of any ideas of changing my outer skin, instead I am hoping to enjoy aging for a long, albeit wrinkly time. keeping a young attitude in mind but developing an exceedingly old, sparklingly enlightened, heart and soul. (as well as improving my computer skills!!)



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my Potpourri week

This past week felt at least 10 days long. It began with me making the Monumental decision... Long panel? Short Panel?


After driving the garage door guy and Mr. Petals a little crazy... I finally selected LONG PANAL.. reasoning.. "Why do we need so many squares out there??" I also chose 'sunray' as my glass selection...partly because the name reminded me of summer which I love. (this is what it looks like...)
Our garage doors are so old and this is an improvement we've been trying to get to since we bought our home TWENTYFIVE short years ago! I think they are actually the original doors and this home is at least 75 years old.
Whenever I have a lot to say in a blog post I wonder how many readers will actually stay with me and read the whole long post? I hope u do!

This long week also had me worried again about my 'pregnant like' state. Instead of a pregnancy test, this week my doc had me go to the hospital for a sonogram. This is step one. She wants to rule out anything gynecological before having me seek out a gastroenterologist to find out WHY my stomach is SO distended, I appear to be about 6 months along! I feel just as uncomfortable as when I was. It's funny how you don't forget, even though the last time was 16 years ago. Every night while trying to fall asleep, I lay there and feel as if I ate a whole watermelon. I feel so anxious for her to call me with these test results so I know where I stand and what my next move needs to be. (thank god I do know for sure, it is NOT buying baby clothes!) My sweet nurse pal Sal, heard how I was feeling AND looking from her sister and decided to pamper me with a huge tray of her delicious eggplant parm! She delivered it to me with so much concern and love AND meatballs on the side!! Thanks for your love Sal! I love U!

This past week also brought my husbands 53rd birthday. We celebrated with our boys with some out to dinner fun food drinks and laughs. I love that when the 5 of us sit down together we usually always find something great to talk about and laugh over. I baked his favorite box cake ( I am by no means a talented baker!) Fluffy white on white. We all devoured that entirely by the next morning! Another thing Mr. Petals and I have been enjoying doing a lot of ... (no, not that).... PaInTiNg! Since everyone was so kind and didn't make fun of my last attempt at art.. I would love to share my latest masterpiece with you!.... TA DA! I really loved this one.. It doesn't look as stylized as my last one. I am imagining these to be olive trees in Italy!

Last night we had tickets to go to a local performing arts center and see 'Mostly Moptops.'
They are a beatles tribute band. My youngest son is a beatle lover and we thought he would enjoy this. We ALL did! The main singer was VEry entertaining and he really sounded so much like our beloved Lennon. It was so much fun we purchased tickets for two more upcoming tributes. Fleetwood Mac and CSN.

This past week was mishmashed with many emotions many worries but with much fun and enjoyment (as well as many clients who drove me looney). It also led me to a final blog decision... I was upset about HOW often I hesitate on what I choose to write about because I've given my blog address to just too many people I know.(in the words of Jackie Gleason... I have a B I G mouth!!) I often find myself thinking... hmmm, no I shouldn't write this... cause so and so may misconstrue its meaning... or hmmm, No I don't want to share that because someone may know TOO much of my business... I was even actually thinking of beginning a new blog and not telling anyone except my cyber friends, but my week end conclusion is this... I just don't give a damn and I am going to write about whatever or whomever I feel like writing about. (although, of course, as ALwaYs, taking into consideration that my sons may read) What do u think of that decision? As you can tell from the garage door story.. I am a bit wishy washy in the DEFINITE decision category... so if you think I should start a new blog.... This blog decision is not so final!
Are u still with me?? Thanks!! hope u choose to leave me a comment too! <3

I come from

Sunday Scribblings this week asks us to write about where we come from.
I come from Italian descent. Half of my ancestors were from Naples Italy the other half from Sicily. Some of where 'I come from' was passed down to me from my italian heritage but so much more of Who I've come to be seems almost innate and somehow as if it came to me instinctively through keen observations, strong perceptive abilities and a common sense for what I see to be just and moral and truly valuable. The combination of influences have me feeling like this....
I come from a belief in strong family ties. I come from a love for fun, food and friends,wine and music, Humor, animals and love. I come from a strong belief that children must be put first. Children are our future, our past, our wisest investment. I come from speaking from the heart and loving unconditionally. I come from honesty and a caring consideration for others. I come from fair mindedness and harmonious living conditions. I come from a strong belief in equality, respect and tolerance for each other. I come from a belief that freedom, education, peace and a chance for prosperity should be every human beings natural right. I come from loyalty to my country. I come from modest means but believe in giving generously. I come to you quite humbly with a post that makes me feel pretty proud of where I am coming from.

3 word wednesday

Burden
Natural
Ubiquitous

He didn't want to burden his children and his wife
despite the natural progression of death after life
Ubiquitous love filled his hospital room wall to wall
He took one final look, one smile before gods final call.

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Natures perfect food

HEADS -
*OR*
TAILS

I can't help noticing how many fruits and veggies end up in the trash in my home.
I always seem to wait too long to cut up that 3 pack of Gigantic cantaloupes from costco... when I finally attempt it, SLIME!
I Constantly buy, wash and put grapes in a beautiful bowl on my table... Kids pick at a few of them the first day... a few days later.... FUR !
I know how important it is to eat many vegetables. I buy them!.. I wash them!.. I prepare them! I cook them! TOO often even though the date says they should be fresh.... MUSH!
But the point I am really trying to make here for Heads of tails...?
EVERY TIME I open a bag of lays potato chips or Milano Cookies.... they Are PERFECT!!! No washing, no chopping, no cooking, No Slime, No Fur and Only occasionally a bit Mushy ( if I choose to dip them in my red wine.) THAT's good eating!
(thanks for the weekly infusion of inspiration Skittles!)

Dear Little Lucy,

You feel scared right now, You are not sure what to think of a letter from an older you. Relax and sit in that favorite pink flower power chair. Yes, I remember loving it too. I want you to feel a sense of peace in knowing that I understand how you are feeling. I understand your deep desire to break free and be your own person. I know of all your insecurities and worries. I know that you have a generous heart which is feeling unfulfilled right now. You desire so deeply to feel treasured and feel loved. You watch your happy young friends who seem like they are living your idea of the ideal life. They are constantly encouraged, nurtured, Hugged ... treasured. You insightfully see that many don't even realize how lucky they truly are. I see you with your big soulful eyes yearning to burst into a different world. You are what I now consider an 'old soul'. You are filled with passion and emotion and intuitive qualities. You crave compassionate communication and connections. I need you to listen carefully! I want you to hold on to hope. Don't let every one and every thing get to you and crush your spirit. I am letting you know that your life IS going to change. You have a future in front of you that is filled with love, with children with many friends, and amazing accomplishments! Your feelings of loneliness are so difficult to bear especially at such a young tender age. Please know that there is a reason for this stage of your life. You will discover there really is a reason for everything that happens to us in life. You need to hold tight to that belief and be as positive as you can as you watch for the subtle signs, life's meaning all around you. Please trust me when I tell you, you CAN breathe easier throughout these difficult years, Your future is sunny Little Lucy. So, On those darkest days when you start losing faith and feel unsure there is a point to it all...Please revisit my letter..feel my love for you, feel my encouragement, feel me wrap a hug around you. I treasure everything about you. Trust my promise Lucy, all of your dreams of love will come true.
(p.s. as soon as you hear the word google... buy as much stock in that as you can!)

Dear Old Lucy,
I know by the time you read this letter you've come to understand and appreciate all the obstacles and adversities that you've experienced. I know you have been wise enough to appreciate and treasure even the very simple pleasures of your full life. Like I explained to you in my past letter, there are reasons for everything. Every up. Every down. Every blissful smile. Every low point. You've wisely discovered life's subtle hints and figured out the mystery of the universe in the process! Making life a better place for mankind. You can be happy in your after life knowing you've left the world a better place because of your research and your incredible, Pulitzer, Nobel prized masterpiece. I promised that you would experience many years of giving and receiving love! I am confidant that at this point, u have finally mastered the extraordinary task of loving yourself as well.


visit..
sunday scribblings

first response?? Somebody shoot me!

I haven't been as scared as I was this morning... In a very long time. Last night I bought my very first over the counter pregnancy test. I guess this explains the nightmares I had in the last two posts! I just haven't been feeling too well lately. I kept chalking it up to that bitch Peri. But after speaking to a nurse at my gynecologists office about my dear departed friend, and then Her telling me that all my hormone levels from a recent blood test were normal, I started to sweat. When I told the nurse that I am also bloated and have sore boobs and cry at the drop of a pin.. She made that little noise....u know the one? Like she was sucking in the side of her mouth? I said... Are u thinking what I am thinking??".... She said, well it wouldn't hurt to buy a pregnancy test. I said... I am turning FIFTY in a few months! I may as well buy a freaking gun too!!
Last night poor Mr. Petals looked a funny shade of puce with green circles under his eyes and just like a cartoon he had hypnotic circles dancing IN his eyes. I decided to torture the poor bastard a little longer and wait till the morning for, eh hmm, a stronger test solution! (procrastination is a dead woman's best friend) My doctor called me back this morning and woke me from a comatose sleep. She asked if I did the test yet. I told her that I didn't 'go' yet and the thought of positive results were just paralyzing me.. She said DO the test, I just KNoW it will be negative.. She then went on to tell me WHY she believes I AM in Peri-menopause and all my symptoms were normal for that stage... ( I also discovered, stupid me, I had been talking to a receptionist last night, NOT a nurse). THank GOd, My doc was right! only ONE little pink line appeared in the tiny window. ( these little tests would be so damn cute if they weren't so fucking terrifying.) I am feeling like a tight rope has been released from my wind pipe! my second response? twin beds!

Another One!

After that last post, I couldn't resist writing about last nights dream as well. Here we go again, you would think I eat garlic cloves before bed! CRAzzYY dreams! I had a vivid dream that I was at my sisters house but of course it wasn't anything like my sisters house. I was trying to leave to catch a BUS to go home (weird, because I would never take a bus to her house!!) Anyway, It was raining really hard and I was trying to find my dog Molly to take her home. Finally, I put her leash on her and was trying to drag her outside and she didn't want to leave my sisters house. SO to persuade her I sweetly asked... "Come on Moll, Don't u want to go home and see Cosmo? ( my other dog).. Do u remember Cosmo?" AND HERE is where the dream gets SUPER freaky... MOlly who still has her cute shaggy Molly hair ( look right and you can see her picture ->)
NOW has my neighbors Son's face!!! HIS face with her shaggy DOG hair!! and all of a sudden Molly is in a BABY carriage and she Says really clearly and slowly and quite adorably.. "I re-mem-ber Cos-mo" I then excitedly say to my sister... Oh my god! did u hear that?!! Molly Spoke!! She Spoke!! OH WoW!! ( i guess even with the baby carriage and face of a real child... I still thought she was a dog? ) I have NO idea... When I told this whole crazy dream to my husband this morning.. With a worried expression, He seriously asked me if I had begun dropping acid?
He Never remembers his dreams and mine are a crazy freak show. ( btw.. We did make our bus!)
** update** Over dinner, I just told my youngest son Joey this story and through his laughter he said.. You made the bus, eh Mom? Where did it take u to the nearest mental institute?
my smart ass kids! no wonder I am having nightmares about babies!!

Did u ever?

Okay another crazy baby dream last night!! This time instead of me
neglecting the baby, I was carrying him around in a baby store looking for baby necessities. ( I vividly recall admiring black and white polka dotted baby shorts!) The sales woman looked at my puffy old face and like a good phony baloney, she asked... Awww Is this your first baby?? I instantly began bawling and cried.." NO!! I HAVE ADULT MEN LIVING AT HOME!!" I woke up in a cold sweat wondering... WHaT the hell did this dream mean???
Do you clearly remember some of your dreams? do u have ANY idea what the hell is wrong with me?
speaking of babies... Have u see this adorable funny video yet?? I tried having the video on my blog but I just can't make this happen.. Hope u pop over to u tube and check this out (ooh, but leave me a comment first!)
serious baby

Who is googling yOu?

Once again, I made the mistake of checking my site meter. You know that free little service that we probably all signed up for but many don't ever check? Well.. Just like a few months ago when I checked it, I found that many people that came upon my blog did so by googling ____well if I say it again.. that will be more perv traffic. I will try to talk about it with out saying it. What is it with people and eh hem massaging? Is this a new fetish? When it unexpectedly happened to me ( i will link to it without writing the key words) I never imagined it was the phenomenon it appears to be! who knew? I guess my masseuse was on the cutting edge of ...' derrière stress relief'. I also noticed a number of pervs who searched for ... derrière manipulation... did so, along with massaging of their.... well...lets just say..... they are round and used in many sports?? CAts play with them?? are u understanding? YEAH... THAT is getting googled a LOT and leading those interested to my innocent corner of the world!! The other big google search that leads here? Miss Cookies Kitchen. I guess i am not the only one with fun memories of that toy . IN FACT!! I almost forgot to mention.. THE creator of that colorforms set emailed me after he googled it and found me! ( I know I am naive, but I really think he was legit) Wish I would have saved it to show to you.( Mr. colorform..if u are still reading me.. please email me again! I wanted to answer but I lost your email)

Tell me what frequent google searches often lead to your blog?

Listen up because this is important!!

There is an amazing woman out there in blogland!
You may already know her, but if you don't...
you BETTER listen up! This inspiring woman screams
inner strength, pluckiness, tenacity, humor and optimism
as she touches lives with her genuine heartfelt expression.
This week my Sunday Scribblings is dedicated to my beautiful friend Tammy!!
(who recently introduced me to acrostic poetry!)


Treasured! tenacious! spirited! warrior!
A gifted writer, poet, photographer, dear friend
My life is richer since you've touched my heart
May All your wishes and dreams come true
Your spirit & spunk beams brighter than any star!
xoxo

(thanks for encouraging my poetry attempts Tam!)
Love U!
(well? what are u waiting for?? Go visit Tam! Tell her Lucy sent u!)

Under the boggled sea

avenge genuine Ramble

I've been feeling a bit crazed lately. Thinking way too much about everything. Trying to figure out some smart strategies to get ahead. Trying to dissect the past, analyze the present and find optimism and peace for my future. When certain thoughts tend to cripple me with despair, I try so hard to avenge them by intently focusing on a positive perspective. I keep thinking.. of a friend I lost many years ago who never got to see her young children grow... Of a favorite client who is battling cancer for the second time...Of other friends who are living in pain every day from various illnesses and heartaches. There are so many scenarios much worse than anything I am facing or have faced. I am genuinely a very lucky and grateful lady. This forced mindset may contradict the original desperate thoughts but gee, Doesn't it all sound so exhausting?? Well, it is! A friend explained to me that all this thinking is using the left side of my brain, Imagine how tired she must be! The Right side is the creative side.. So if I put that side into motion... I can give the overworked side a rest! This week, I took that sage advice and attempted painting a picture! I feel like between balancing the left and right and a little zumba of my Rumpa in between, all my soul searching may be put into a clearer light, guiding me to what I am feeling and actually needing AND.. allow me to write without so much rambling!
I am bravely sharing my painting with you... keep in mind my artistic abilities with painting are not much better than my talent in poetry!


3 ww

Getting There

HEADS -
*OR*
TAILS

Why is it that 'getting there' is not the same for men and women? Men can 'get there' without much effort. If they have a pulse. With a cool breeze, a warm shower....a sears catalog. Women need motivation ALL day long... A loving caress in the morning, many kind words.. a glass of wine. The kids away or asleep. Many more kind words. The planets aligned. The house in order. More kind words. Men may have all the right moves and kind words for trying to get her there all day long... They've done the sweet good morning, (she is feeling happy!) they've answered correctly to the dreaded..."do these jeans make my butt look too big?". They've helped clean up dinner. (she is almost getting there) The Day long mandatory foreplay is almost ending!... Getting closer now to 'getting there' together...The evening is winding down...The sink has no dirty dishes. The moon is in pisces... and Then The very tired, grumbly man says ONE offensive utterance like.. 'Smell this shirt, Can I wear this again tomorrow?" and THAT can UNdo all the 'getting there' HE has done to get her there and THAT's the end of that for them THAT day!

thanks for the Heads or Tails prompt Barb!

Did u ever

I can't believe that this april I will be celebrating my THIRD blogging anniversary!
I felt like looking back a bit, adding some new pictures and music to spruce up the old place and asking my more current readers...
did u ever read my very first blog post?....

Thursday, April 20, 2006

What's in a name?

Having decided to try my hand at blogging, my first obstacle was a name. My name has never sat well with me. My parents named me after my fathers mother. Lucille. No offense to all the Lucille's out there, but I never cared for that name. I also never cared for the nick name that came from Lucille. LuLu. Since I was a wee little baby, my family called me LuLu. For many years ( like "baby" in Dirty Dancing) I didn't realize there was anything wrong with the name. Then my first passionate kiss at age 12! This innocent young boy (Eric) whispered " Oh LuLu". Well, the silliness of that name had me laughing instead of kissing. He felt uncomfortable and I felt my name didn't fit me. To the rescue my big sister- who suggests I take the Lu from Lucille and the Anne of my middle name and become Luanne! A New Lu is born. From that day forth I introduced my self to everyone as Luanne. In school i was still Lucille, At home the LuLu would not die. At my wedding I had the priest call me Lucille ( for my moms sake mostly) and several friends afterward said how sorry they were that the priest got my name wrong! I never legally changed my name so the confusion has been troublesome. Well, here I am now many, many years later, My husband and my friends call me Luanne. My mom still throws an occasional LuLu at me, which I now do not mind at all. After all the hoopla and insecurity and awkward circumstances..... I wish I would have just been a Lucy.

I gave this whole explanation as to why I chose to be referred to as Lucy but I am surprised I didn't talk more about taking on the new hobby of blogging or about the blogs title. I AM a little weird, so I guess it shouldn't surprise me. I rarely look back on what I've written but this week...Looking back on some of my older posts, it made me realize that I used to share much more of my life. I'm not really sure whY I don't as much lately? I also realized that my memory is worse than I thought! I had forgotten so much of what I've written. That reinforces another emotional feeling I've had all week... that we ONly go around once!! I mean, of course I've always known that.. but this week for some reason, I am really ... REALLY focusing on that poignant fact. Not just about my life, but even random strangers will bring it to mind! Like.. My son's friend talked about how Amy Fischer was stripping. I felt so sad for her.... first she shoots some poor innocent woman in the head, then goes to prison, now strips for a living?? THIS is how she is using her Once around?? I don't think when we are young and making life choices we really REALLY have it sink in..... THIS is the path I am choosing to live my ONE chance on. Hind sight really is 20/20. I wonder if this wondering means something? Did u ever feel like this too?

EYE don't think so!

Lately I keep waking up with my eyes so puffy and swollen. After a few hours they look normal again. I keep thinking it's because I am approaching that ever so surreal 50th b.d . I guess, as I sleep everything just DROps and squishes together?? I don't really know! Mr. Petals laughs and suggests I insert hollowed cucumber slices into my reading glasses. This morning my eyes were so swollen, I actually held an ice cube over my eyes a few minutes before heading off to work. My first client ( also 49 yrs. old) wasn't in my door 5 minutes before she looked in the mirror at herself and said.. 'OH These allergies, My eyes are so swollen EVERY day!' I said 'Allergies?? uh.. I have the same problem Kate and I hate to tell you.. I DOn'T think what we're suffering from is allergies!' She was adamant.. "NO it is ! Look how puffy I am!" I just kept laughing at her refusal to admit that It was more likely the natural aging process at work! So for The rest of our conversation, I blamed EVErYthing she complained about On those same damn allergies... When she said she had NO patience for her kids... I said... 'THAT's allergies! They make u so damn cranky'. Later on she was talking about her memory loss... 'Yeah, allergies are a killer on the memory! ' We really had some fun laughs over this, until.. Kates 70 yr. old mom popped in to say hello. She was wearing THE largest Hollywoodish type sunglasses. I told her 'WOW you look like a movie star in those giant glasses'... She took them off and said... 'Well, Look at what these allergies are doing to my eyes! I have to wear them! ' We nearly fell off our chairs in hysterics.

I am sitting here thinking back on all of this and I'm thinking that maybe... just in case... I will try taking an allergy pill before bed (but most likely, tomorrow.. I will be looking through the sunday circulars for a sale on giant sunglasses)

lost

She's lost in eternal grieving, skin chilled

endless hours tick by, unpleasantly filled

the past the present the future rehearsed

unbearable heartache. God she has cursed

a cavern replaces a maternal beating heart

so precious a life was barely given a fair start


A mother afflicted with such unimaginable grief

to completely love and nurture and it be only but brief

devastating pain a lifetime of heartache is only part of the cost

for a parent who bares the unthinkable tragedy of a beloved child... lost.

I originally had something else in mind for the SS prompt, But after reading about Sherrie's friend's tragic loss, i found my mind couldn't wrap around anything else but their horrific circumstance. As a mother I can't even begin to imagine how any one can begin to cope with this type of loss. I also can't stop questioning WHY.
My heart pains and goes out to these dear people. Their staggering tragedy is so terribly sad.

3 word wednesday

Thought I would go for a little humor today with the 3 W W words...
callous
interfere
persistent

A lack of callousness and inspiration
interferes with Mrs. Swartz' plan
for persistent fruitful loving
from her resistant rueful man

(Thank-you to Skittles for that great cartoon!)

stranded on dessert island Meme

Tammy with the Queen sized heart has tagged me with the oddest of memes so far!
Here is the scenario....

“Your ship has sunk. You have, of course, been stranded on a deserted island. You have salvaged a copy of the King James Version of the Bible and a copy of the complete works of Shakespeare. Nothing else.

“The very next day you find one of those Arabian Lamps in the sand. Of course, you rub it and, of course, a rather grumpy Genie appears.

“‘Let’s get this straight - there is a recession going on. There are restrictions on the three wishes now. I don’t do water or air transport now so no boats, planes or magic carpets. As for electronics, forget it. There isn’t the infrastructure on this island.

“‘I can let you have one book and I mean one VOLUME, one essential item and one luxury item. Now hurry up and make your choices, I have to get to those five other islands you are going to nominate.’”

The ONE book I would wish for is-
building small boats!

The ONE essential item I would wish for?

Meet Bill the construction worker! He will build my boat!








AND My ONE Luxury Item.?
The Lounger I will relax on while I read the books instructions aloud to my dessert-Mr. Bill, as I watch him in action!















Thanks for the wacky Meme Tam! I nominate the following shipmates who I like to visit...
simply mel
one gals musings
roseyposey
mimiwrites
momville

Give it to me Hugh!

You Would Win Best Actor / Actress

You are confident and talented. When it's time for you to shine, you step up. You have a strong personality. You love attention, and you can command an audience of any size. You tend to be a bit obsessive. You're the perfect person to immerse yourself in a big role. You're both empathetic and expressive. You understand and communicate well.

What Would You Win an Oscar For?

Looking forward to fast forwarding my dvr through the boring parts of the oscars and enjoying the highlights and of course the view of Hugh! mmmmm mmmmm mmmmm

Trust

Today a client told me she is getting a divorce
She also told me she knows she will find someone
else to marry soon,
because she doesn't like to take out her own trash
or pay the bills herself. ( I managed to conceal my
horrified expression )

Today another client told me that since her husband
died she hasn't been to the gynecologist. Why bother,
If She isn't having sex anymore? (I sensitively gave a 77 yr. old woman
a chat about preventive health care)

Yesterday, a client referred to her landscaper as a 'wetback'
( yeah, even though I felt uncomfortable speaking up, I told her I thought that term was really inappropriate )

Last week, One of my
hammers who is in her early 60's... went on and on about all the F*#@ Buddies she had in her youth while driving her point about HOW attractive she was (later I needed to puke!)

TRUST me! I couldn't make this shit up, if I tried!

killing time in the blue shadows

Feeling a bit down these days. The true colours thurs. color couldn't have fit any better into my current mood. And you say Next week is brown?? Holy Shit! That doesn't bring me much hope for the return of a sunny spirit.

3 word wednesday

Candid
Impulse
Risk

After some candid chatting about the inevitable scary syndrome...
'fat ass'
My friends dragged me with them to an intensely energetic, butt fun Zumba class
The impulse of driving music! Caught up, I risk dancing.. full speed ahead!
This morning I can barely zumba my sore knees and tired butt out of bed

Visit three word wednesday!

Did u ever?

One of my friends had an interesting theory about t.v. adding so much pressure to our lives.
Much more than our pre-t.v. ancestors had.
Of course we all know how much pressure it adds to young girls who feel they have to meet the unrealistic standards of models in ads. But it is pressuring us in other ways too. I never thought about how much till she brought this subject up.
For example, she was saying... Did u ever watch HGtv and then look around at your own house and think ... Damn! this isn't as great as I had thought! So many shows depict top of the line everything and it makes us feel as if we aren't as fortunate as we had thought we were!
Huge mansions, gorgeous backyards, bigger and better... EVERYthing! Mr. petals loves watching that station and I always yell to him... 'Why are you watching this? It's Depressing!!'

Did u ever see those shows that go on and on about the perfect wedding?
The bride and groom pick out the perfect flowers, they have a wedding coordinator. They have to even sample and choose their perfect cake! When we got married, the cake came with the package. i don't even think I asked what filling it would have! So brides today, must compete with all these added details or risk having a wedding that will be considered horrible?? I am so happy I planned my wedding unaware of needing to be so fancy schmancy!
It's also the same with entertaining. Years ago you would put out some wine and cheese and your friends would be happy in No time. Now... martha and the likes of her are making us feel so inferior if we don't create an impressive masterpiece spread. No wonder I hate having company lately! I don't have the time, energy or desire to perform these creative miracles!

I think my friend makes a really smart point... Now, Think about years ago, without tv. The only people they mostly compared themselves with, were their neighbors who were probably in a similar economic status as they were. Any unrealistic ad in a magazine, was just that..Unrealistic. No regular folks can really have a house that expensive, hair so coiffed, clothes so fine.
I was thinking about this as I was watching a tonight show i had taped. Some actress sat there talking to Jay and her legs were so distractingly SHinY! I leaned over to Mr. Petals and said...
Oh great, I guess we're all suppose to have shiny legs now too !? He didn't know what i was talking about. He was half asleep, but I realized that I am so guilty of being made to feel inferior by much of the junk on t.v. How 'bout you?

The Sport of Encouragement

I almost skipped the Sunday Scribblings prompt this week! That would be sad, because it is such a favorite weekly tradition. But, Sports?? I sat thinking, do I talk about How spastic I was during every school year in gym class? Like the sad song seventeen... I was ALWAYS chosen last for volleyball, although it wasn't sad or mean.. the girls just laughed at me knowing I was so spastic and short and said.. OH NO! We got Lu! Then I contemplated talking about how,
In a house FULL of testosterone, you would think I was surrounded by Sports, but Nope.. my husband and three sons are NOT interested in playing sports, talking sports, watching sports or even gambling on sports! I honestly think it is genetic. My father in law could care less for them too. When my kids were small my husband TRIED SO MUCH, to break the mold and get into sports for the sake of the kids. He played basketball with them and baseball. He Tried watching the big football games. Maybe the kids sensed that his heart wasn't truly into it, because they tried a lot, Soccer teams, Basketball teams and baseball teams, but they never graduated past one or two seasons.. they were just not into it. (it is in the blood, I swear!)

What I want to talk about is this....
From what i see out there from all the kids that DO love sports.... I think sports are such a beneficial part of a persons life. The kids that love sports are getting great exercise. They are meeting other kids with the same interest which can lead to lifelong friendships. They are getting fresh air, discipline, sportsmanship and warding off the dangers of boredom. It is also a great way for parents to meet parents. So many of my friends and clients have dear friends that they met through soccer or baseball with their kids. I feel like I was out of that loop and I am regretful. But I was never one to FORCE my kids to do something. Encourage, OH! Absolutely!!
one good example was when i had my youngest enrolled in T-ball. He played that whole season and seemed to really enjoy it... At the end of the season, he looked at me and Said Please don't join me up next year. Next year they THORW the ball at You. So what did silly Mama do? I practiced throwing the ball to him and then...

yep, I joined him up anyway, trying to encourage the love of the game and banish his fear.
The very First day of practice my 6 yr. old son cried and didn't want to go.. Smart little guy with the good memory said.. I told you last time I DON'T want to play this game! There was No way, I would 'make him' go. Many friends told me i should have, but just like I couldn't 'force feed' them foods they gagged on, I wasted the registration fee and let him relinquish his hat and bat...
Never one to give up when My feelings about something are strong... I never gave up hope. I urged and encouraged and I DID manage to get my eldest son to join track in high school and my middle son to join the swim team. Not only did these experiences bring about all the beneficial results I listed above, it was also a wonderful way to become better acquainted with the high school before school began their freshman year. They had to go for practices in the summer and they were able to bond with upperclassmen and form the brotherhood that teams are known for. As positive as an experience as it was for them, that was unfortunately the end of organized sports for this family... (well, SO FAR! I refuse to dismiss the possibility that my future grandkids may escape the spastic gene!)

The sweetest gifts can't be purchased

This year for Valentines day my husband and I decided not to spend on small gifts like flowers or candy for me or a cd or dvd for him. Instead we decided to focus on the gifts we give each other EVERY single day of the year. I decided to go even further and WRite them down! Writing out this list of gifts he gives me everyday of my life... I kind of feel I should forfeit the birthday, anniversary and mothers day gifts as well!

He always compliments me on
my thinking, my kindness, my inner and outer beauty-

He says sweet things like "you're adorable" daily
He is always Attentive

He can always make me laugh...
The other day when I asked him if HE wants to carve the turkey breast
he passionately yet sincerely answered... "I LIVE to carve the turkey"
(this statement has been cracking me up all week!)

He notices and admires even little things like a new polish color,
change of earrings, the house is freshly cleaned

He blows my hair dry almost every morning
(please don't hate me ladies!)

He helps me clean our home or clean up dishes
Insists on washing the big pots every night
He takes over "heavy jobs" like
scrubbing the shower and waxing the floors

He Always insists on opening my car door
Warms it up for me on cold days too

He enjoys helping me shop for clothes
even waits patiently while I take forever in the dressing room

He Loves to buy me gifts for no occasion and 'do lunch'
He insists on carrying all our packages

When I have to pick up our son late at night
even when he is tired, he often says..
Don't go alone, I will take the ride with you

He Never wants me to help him with the "heavy work"
like shoveling snow or raking

Some sundays, he Likes to make me french toast
with the special touches like powdered sugar on top!

He Always listens & understands my worries, fears and problems
He Encourages me to Love myself
He Builds my self esteem
He encourages me to exercise and take good care of myself
He encourages me to get together with my friends more often
He encourages me to relax

He calls me a few times a day to see how I am doing and say I love you

He Gives me the best looking Steak, burger or whatever he is taking off the Barbecue
The kids get the 2nd best, he takes the worst

He rubs my feet when I have a bad day

He sometimes irons my clothes (better than i can)
He often irons his own (probably because he can do them better than i can)

When I can't sleep- He knows what helps and offers to get
out of our warm bed and get me a bowl of cereal

No one knows or understands me better
He is my best friend my lover my heart
happy valentines day sweetheart!

OWOH drum roll please

WE HAVE TWO WINNERS!!!
It was so fun participating in One World One Heart,
I discovered so many new blogs to read as well as nice people
who write them!
The first prize winner who is going to take care of my little bear Polly is Elizabeth! you can visit her blog at thoughts from an evil overlord

Congratulations Elizabeth!! I am sure Polly will be happy in her new home! I hope she will remind you of HOW OVERWORKED all of us women are and inspire you to take more coffee breaks!

and for the second prize.. my husbands whimsical tree...
the winner is...
Michaele! You can visit her blog at kindergardens 3 R's

Congratulations Michaele! I have to tell you, I had a hard time parting with this little painting, but Mr. Petals promised to paint one for me too! Hope you find a great place for the painting and truly enjoy it!

Thanks everyone who entered! I will definitely do this again next year!
Off to email the lucky winners!

A triumphant trip

The 3 word wednesday words are
disarray
rabble
validate

I chaperoned my son's symphonic band class to Carnegie Hall yesterday
Upon it's grand elegant stage they'd been granted the rare chance to play
The day started out quite stressful at school for their poor teacher, Mr. Lee
When one student showed up wearing old sweat pants & a wrinkled up Tee

The teacher began screaming, I saw his veins nearly popping out of his head
over the disarray of a student who looked as if he had just climbed out of bed
After much tension, chaos, phoning parents, dealing with many irksome fusses
We finally got this rubble of 100 dapper high school students onto the three buses.

The bumpy ride into manhattan went off without a pained hitch
(Unless you consider it torture hearing squeaky teen girls sing off pitch)
We Arrived at the hall, a magnificent treasure in the heart of the city!
But the behavior of some of the students! Oy Vey! what a pity!

Some were cursers some were lovers some walked way too slow
that we needed to shake 'em up, wake 'em up and yell "let's GO!"
We did SO much climbing of steep stairs, up up up round and round
(I think I must have HAD to have lost at least 15 pounds!)

Finally the golden performance, the acoustics! the thrill!
The skilled school band played so amazingly well!
Mr. Lee beamed as he conducted then as the applause grew..
One mans fulfilling moment, his life's dream come true

I so hope each child appreciated deep in their very young heart
This unique honor and opportunity to validate their melodic art
my son expressed it was scary upon a stage so awesome and grand
but he felt privileged to play his trumpet at Carnegie Hall,
along with his band

Lather, rinse. DON'T REPEAT!

With the price of running a household out of control, we have been trying to cut back on costs like everyone else in the world. All those phrases that i hated when i was a kid, those phrases that made me look at my mom like she was a wacko, I am using THoSe phrases now! "Close the refrigerator door" "turn off those lights" "lower the heat" and Mr. Petals famous one...
" don't take such long hot showers!" Our kids are really finding this hard to take, especially the showers! The other day my middle son had me hysterically laughing, giving me his account of our crazy household..
Let me explain first...a few months ago our bathroom exhaust fan broke. The kids kept flipping the switch to the on position out of habit, before they showered. ( keep in mind.. busy crazy people think about putting tape over the switch, but don't get around to it!!)
My husband kept yelling.. "WHO put the fan on? DON'T USE THE FAN! You are going to cause a fire!" It took a lot of yelling to remind them that it was broken. Finally one day, my husband decided to fix the darn thing. My middle son who is hardly ever home, has No idea it is fixed. So he keeps showering without the fan, so he DOESN'T cause a fire, which causes so much condensation in there. So he gets out of the shower one day and later hears his dad yelling.. WHose NOT using the fan? Put the fan ON when u shower!!
My son was so confused!! (busy crazy people assumed this kid knew it was fixed now!!) it took a while to get BACK in the habit of using the fan, so the 'reminder yelling' was a constant part of this crazy household. Hearing HIM tell this fan story was just priceless! If the fan confusion wasn't enough, He is SO used to being told to STOP taking SUch LONG showers that one day he gets home from work and we are all sleeping.... he goes into the bathroom to shower and sees this...

a TIMER on top of the shower doors! The kids thinks to himself .... "What the F@#*??? Am I suppose to be TIMING my shower now?? These people are CRAZZZZYY!! He comes into my room and whispers to me...
'Mom, Mom.. wake up... Is DAD expecting me to TIME my showers now?' I have NO idea what he is saying and WHy he is waking me. I am in a coma, I mumble something senseless to him and go back to sleep and don't remember this question until....Last night! When my son had me crying with laughter about this timer... He told me he was telling his friends... 'My dad is CRAZZY, there is a timer in the bathroom .. I think I am suppose to take a shower for like 9 minutes and 43 seconds or something!!!! But No ONe has YeLLEd at me to do this yet! Do I use the timer? do I not use the timer?'
When this son tells a story, it is like listening to a stand up comic... It took me so long due to my hysterical laughter to finally tell him.... 'The timer is there so your brother can time the medicine he is suppose to leave on for his psoriasis!' BUT when Mr. Petals caught the gist of what caused this laugher fit... I saw the expression he had on and KNEW that he was thinking the idea of timing their showers may be genius!

The Art of B.S.

I had a lot of ideas for the Sunday scribblings prompt... ART. However, After the trying day I had at work today, I've decided to talk about the art of bull shit.
Usually, In my profession, no matter how you are feeling or what is going wrong in your life.. If you want to keep your clients coming back, you need to put on a happy face and listen to and respond to all the bullshit that some people need to talk about, with MORE bullshit. Although your head may be pounding or your heart aching or your nerves shattered, you need to make their visit all about them. Lucky for me, I am not faced with this dilemma too often. Most of my clients are well liked and friends as well, and the conversations are really enjoyable, very honest and sincere . A normal exchange of interesting topics, as well as Me sharing my life with them and No bullshit what so ever!

Oh! though those days when I am faced with my most challenging clients.... the B.S., like green mold, just keeps spreading. Today, while covered in mold, I thought... It's peculiar, they never touched on the art of bullshit back in beauty school. They did warn- never talk politics or religion with your clients! But, the art of bullshit, which I think is as essential for any successful hairstylist to know as haircutting, needs to be self-taught. I've developed the art quite well after all my years of experience. What you need is a harmonious blend of courtesy combined with common-sense combined with a Big-Phony-Baloney-sense and a strong stomach too. If I were to establish and teach B.S. 101, it would include daring challenges like .. how to handle self-absorbed, narcissistic, rude people, who will expect you to listen to endless chatter about How difficult it is to get ready for their much needed upcoming trip to the bahamas. I would also hand out garlic and place my students in mock situations, demonstrating how a client may ramble on with pointless bullshit for 45 minutes (With foul breath) about their son in laws relatives being horrible with blow by blow accounts of EVeRy situation with these horrible people. People you've never met, never hope to meet and could really give a shit about! The student hairdresser would be required to stand there (on their secretively tired legs) looking interested, convincingly shaking their head in disbelief or whatever gesture is appropriate and interjecting B.S. expressions like "OH No!" and 'That's terrible of them". Thereby mastering the performance of an attentive, caring listener who can also implement the art of an excellent haircut, all while feeling totally irritated, nauseated by the odor and a longing to sit down. That's what I would call a B.S. Pro!

Thurs. 13

Last night my husband made his usual declaration... I am exhausted! I am going to bed! Then as usual he added... Are u going to bed now honey? And like many nights I said "Yeah, I am exhausted too, I just have to do a few things". So, he brushes his teeth, strips naked and is in bed in 2 minutes. Two minutes later I hear him snoring! As I begin my few things....
1. let our two dogs out
2. Set up the coffee pot for tomorrows breakfast
3. Make my son lunch
4. Put the dirty (nighttime snack) dishes into the dishwasher and run it.
5. Remember to run downstairs and throw the wash into the dryer so it doesn't smell funny
6. lower the thermostats
7. straighten the couch cushions
8. let the dogs in
9. lock up all the doors
10. give the pets fresh water
11. take off makeup/wash my face/ moisturize
12. brush my teeth
13. shut all the lights

Sound familiar ladies?
visit Thurs. 13

Don't mess with Lulu

Crumple
Illicit
Nerve

The Nerve of them! Gall like theirs should be considered illicit comportment!
Boldness! Audacity! Insolence! Alike No one I've ever encountered before!
Asking for favors that totally take advantage of me... feels like harassment!
I will not crumple this time, I'll stand firmly and adamantly announce ..."NO MORE!"!

hope u will visit and consider participating in 3 word wednesday

wordless wednesday

(repeat! but come on! Can u ever get enough?)

Heads or Tails?

This is my first time taking part in Skittles creative weekly prompt Heads or tails. For Heads or Tails this week, skits tells us to pick an older theme and write about that.
I decided to pick Express and then I thought, why not pick an older post where I tried to express my feelings about my recent hurtful relationship change with my sister.


Two souls brought together through a shared blood line
The gift of big sister has made my world shine
No matter the situation, sometimes grave most times great
My Life has been enhanced with my sister soul-mate
Obstacles occur, she's transported many miles away
Nothing discourages our love, visits just become long stays

Raising Children, managing homes, our Lives get crazy
daily stresses, no time, our communication becomes lazy
Less and less honesty, no articulation exchanged
Day by Day the loving bond between sisters is changed
my Abruptness and temperamental impatience
hits the chill of her impassive wall of indifference

Like a sidewalk that cracks we are sadly split apart
I feel like I'm existing with only half my blue heart
attempting to make peace, takes time, feels uncomfortably strange
I wish to turn our clocks back a few years and just prevent this ugly change
I've learned never again to let my feelings fester or my tribulations wait
When we treasure someone we need to honestly, lovingly and timely relate

As usual, after writing this very personal piece, the loving comments from the incredibly supportive bloggers I know, made me feel so comforted and happy that I decided to share my soul. I liked the comments much better than my poetry, if you want to read them. .. here is the original post
we've changed

Happy Birthday!

Today is my sons 22 birthday! Where did those years go?!

It seems like yesterday when I felt those first pangs of labor. I can remember so clearly holding you for the very first time. Inhaling your precious baby scent, feeling your delicate soft skin and melting from your sweet baby sounds. It seems like yesterday that I had to leave you at the hospital due to jaundice and come home feeling like an amputee. It seems like yesterday that you were first placed into your big brothers arms and immediately passed gas which totally delighted big brother. I can still remember your favorite stories during your toddler years that I read to you each night. Goodnight moon, Rupert Penguin, Morris the moose and Harry the dirty dog. I still have the (now dingy) white little lamb that you dragged around the house. The little lamb had come with a blanket and pacifier attached to it's hands. Every time they came loose, I would sew them back on to dry your tears. You couldn't fall asleep without holding the lambs pacifier in your small hands.
I remember so clearly sitting on the floor by the head of your bed and watching you sleep when I was pregnant with J. I softly cried and worried how you would cope with becoming 'the middle child'. It seems like yesterday that I went to parents day at your Kindergarden class and Your teacher had to finally say to you... "YOU must let go of your mothers leg, she has to go home NoW!" Your affection was always intense and your humor and love for fun contagious. You've grown into am amazing young man and I wish for you all the good things you deserve! There are so many things I love about u but the one thing that stands out today, Is how every time you walk into our house you manage to bring it alive with your energy, happiness and love for life.
Where did twenty two years go? Time just fly's when you're having fun! Happy Birthday Sweetheart xox

2 down 1 to go go go

caption reads-
when i let out a blood curdling scream"jesus christ you're going to kill someone!: I'd like you to apply the brakes. ( this is reminiscent of how i taught my kids to drive)
Today my eldest son took my youngest son out for his second driving lesson. Due to my husband and I teaching the older boys years ago, and it being established over and over again, that we are both Tense, Intense,impatient,frustrating, SCARY teachers, My youngest has requested that his older brothers teach him. I started lecturing before hand, in a state of typical driving mode tense panic. I insisted my older son ONLY let him drive in a parking lot, NO Streets yet! 'He has to have many lessons in a safe empty parking lot before he can practice on these crazy roads". My eldest, who is usually so compliant, said.. "mom, no, You trust me to teach him, you need to trust my judgement. It should be left to MY discretion as to whether or not he is ready to venture out on the street. Please trust me, I am an excellent teacher and driver and I need you to trust me to make the right call". Well, he said much more than this, but this is the general gist of what I remember. His point came across respectful and wise and I realized that he is absolutely correct. (and I am absolutely a lunatic) Here is an excellent driver with an excellent track record who is in graduate school to become a teacher, who spends his days doing an amazingly great job helping to teach autistic children. I decided to leave the driving decisions, and the safety of them both, In his very capable hands. As he drove away towards the school parking lot, with my youngest in the passenger seat, I felt less worried than I had ever been with a son learning to drive.

To my surprise, after only ONE hour gone, my YoUnGest son expertly pulled into the driveway, parking perfectly behind my car!
When he came in and excitedly reported about How well he did and how
much he had learned,and How patient and calm his brother was. It was so wonderful & touching. I wasn't sure if I was welling up with tears because my baby is already old enough to be driving, OR because My oldest in such a short time is such a competent,sensible adult.(an adult who is a MUCh more capable,relaxed driving teacher than my husband and I ever were!) Whatever it was, it was a defining moment in the journey of my boys lives. I feel so proud of them all. ( and quite honestly, I am relieved beyond expression, that I won't be going through those F*&#@# frightening driving lessons again!)

here is the new driver when he was 8! :)